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He should go home. Jason knew exactly where he was needed. He knew exactly who needed him. But he lacked any and all motivation simply because a large chunk of himself was missing from his life and hadn't spoken to him in going on seven weeks

Seven weeks of absolutely no contact with his husband, who was doing an off world mission and had decided for some unknown reason that a dead zone was going to help them win their fight. He wasn't the only one desperate to get him back. Jason wasn't the only one Dick was fighting for now. Dick had a daughter, one who also missed him. Alot.

About a year and a half ago Mar'i had been dropped into his lap in a slightly unwelcome manner. It had taken Dick a little to warm up to the idea of having a child, but because Dick was Dick there was an instant bond between the two of them and he quickly went from being apprehensive towards her existence to complete overprotective and likely to kill anything that even threatened her.

Mar'i had taken a little while longer to trust Jason. They'd finally reached a good place, she would actually seek him out for things, let him comfort her when Dick wasn't around. When he felt like things had solidified and they could really start talking about a next step Dick got caught up in Titan's business.

It was only supposed to be a week. Just enough for him to go and help make a good battle plan to avoid an alien invasion. Nothing dangerous or crazy, and nothing that should've caused any issues. Until the end of the week came and things took a turn for the worst. Suddenly he was calling Jason and trying to quickly explain while preparing for a huge and last minute off world trip that he wasn't going to be back for a little bit. No time table would be provided.

Suddenly Jason watched as the Justice and League and the Titans started pulling from their reserves to prepare for a possible war. Robin left with the Teen Titans to Join Nightwing and his own team. Basically all of Red's team, excluding Red himself, were stationed on outposts helping direct shipments full of supplies and weapons towards their army. Red Robin was pulled towards whatever base they'd created and was rarely seen from it. Because of all this, Jason found himself being the sole protector of Gotham.

He wasn't completely alone. The Birds of Prey were helping where they could, but they were stretched thin because the League had become so occupied. Spoiler and Black Bat were good and helping pick up the slack in Gotham. Batwoman stuck to her area, telling Jason not to worry about it and focus on the bigger picture which he was eternally grateful for. He'd even gone to Blue Bird to have her help Alfred with comms in the cave (something she was actually excited to do), and Duke helped wherever he was needed.

Jason felt he'd done good for becoming so short handed so suddenly. But the real credit actually went to Dick. Naturally, with his Bat like instinct, he had a plan ready incase things went sideways. He knew things could go wrong on the flip of a dime and that he needed to be ready if it did. So when they had communication he gave Jason some basic instructions for what to do since Batman, Red Robin, and himself were unavailable. The three people who could come up with a plan like this.

For five weeks Jason would take Mar'i to the base, where there was a good strong connection between Earth and the deployed teams, and they would talk to Dick for as long as they could. It was hard but the communication helped.

Then, out of nowhere, communication with Dick's team ceased. A week after that Tim gives him a written letter by Dick and tries to explain the situation the best he can while keeping Jason calm. Everyday Mar'i asked the same question 'is he coming home soon?' and Jason would always give her the same answer 'I hope so'.

It got harder everyday, and the worst part was Mar'i noticed Jason's downward decent. There wasn't much that she could do, from what he and Dick had gathered, Mar'i was around ten years old. This poor ten year old girl had already lost her mother and was missing her father and her only connection to him was on the roof of their apartment while she was fast asleep with a bottle of Russian vodka.

Slade had given it to him a few years ago as a job well done or something. Normally alcohol of any kind took a minute to give him any sort of buzz. He guessed this was something Slade drank too, to help temporarily erase emotions and just be an empty void of nothing.

His mind felt empty, the only sounds coming from the city around him. The alcohol was doing exactly as intended turning every single feeling he had into a large blob. He sat there for hours unmoving aside from when he took another swig from the bottle.

He'd held out from getting drunk for a long time. He knew he was pretty close to getting blackout drunk which he hadn't been in years, and knew he needed to stop so Mar'i would have an adult figure to wake up to. But his motivation for the task was severely lacking.

Jason glanced down at the glass bottle in his hand. There was about a fourth of it left. He stood up, swaying on his feet, and threw the rest of it as hard as he could towards another building. He watched the remnants explode against the brick and rain down onto the ally below. He stumbled back from the force he'd thrown it with and collapsed onto the ground.

The sky didn't hold very many stars. Gotham never has, too much pollution and too many lights. He wasn't planning on passing out on the roof, but that was exactly what happened.

"You know they've never met Mar'i." Jason told Dick.

He glanced up at him. "Who?"

"Bruce, Alfred, Cass, Steph. They've never met Mar'i have they?"

Dick though for a minute. "No, I don't think they have. Just haven't had time to bring her by the Manor. And I wanted to give her a chance to, you know, adjust to us."

"Fair enough, but it's been like four months. I think the adjustment period's over."

"You do?"

"Yeah, she like you, as she should. And you know they'd love to meet her."

Dick smiled "You're right, they would. I mean Damian loves her so they hard parts over."

Jason snorted. "Yeah that was a little surprising. So how about, you know Alfred does those Sunday family dinner things once a month?"

"That you never go to, yeah."

"Take her to that."

"Are you going to come with."

"I can."

Dick gave him a blank look. "More like you will."

Jason gave a toothy smile. "Yes that's exactly what I meant. I will go."

"Hmmm. Good answer."

"I'm full of them."

Dick shook his head before trying to walk off as Jason grabbed and kissed his temple before releasing him.

"What was that?" Dick asked him.

"Nothing. Go tell your daughter she's having dinner with the family on Sunday."

"And then?" Dick sudden got a rather mischievous look on his face.

Jason shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know? I'll give you a minute."

Jason could help but smile. Dick was the only one to make him lose face. With just about everyone else he was stone cold and emotionless, but with Dick? The man could make Jason's knees buckle without even trying.

She actually seemed excited at the idea of meeting everyone else. The whole trip to the Manor Jason could feel her nervous energy. She had met some of them i.e. Tim, Barbara, and Damian at different times for different reasons. She was always curious about their childhood.

"Wow." Was her only response to the Manor.

"You know that's what I said when I first got here." Dick told her as he circled the car.

"It's huge."

Jason nodded. "Yeah it is."

Dick took her hand. "C'mon."

She shyly followed close behind him up to the side door that went into the kitchen. Dick had long since stopped going through the main entrance.

The first person they came across was Alfred.

"Hey Alfred." Dick greeted warmly as he closed the door behind him.

"Master Dick. It's been a while."

"Yeah we've been busy."

"I can see that."

Alfred watched Mar'i stand close to Dick with the same smile Jason had seen when he first arrived at the Manor. She eyed him curiously, it obvious she saw he wasn't any sort of threat but she wasn't going to trust him on site.

"She is very reminiscent of you Master Dick."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me. But the more time I've spent with her the more I've seen Kori."

"No I see bits of her as well, but your genes are far more prominent. I assume this young lady is around nine years old as that is when Miss. Koriander departed."

"Yeah that sounds about right."

"One hell of a goodbye." A new voice added on to the conversation.

"You know what?"

"What?" Tim asked.

"Shut up."

Tim smiled at his silent victory before noticing Jason. "Hey Jay. It's been awhile since I've seen you around here."

"Indeed it has." Alfred agreed.

Jason shrugged. "He made me come."

"I didn't have to try very hard."

"Something tells me you don't have to try very hard to convince him to do a lot of things."

"Oh my god." Jason mumbled.

Tim laughed at the reaction as Alfred rolled his eyes.

"Mar'i you remember Tim." Dick asked her, stepping aside so she could be seen better.

Tim smile changed to something far more inviting. "Hey. I know this place is pretty intimidating. And believe me Alfred isn't scary unless you do something bad."

She seemed to relax as Tim told her that, taking a slight step away from Dick.

"Where's Bruce?" Dick asked.

"I believe he's in the study." Alfred responded.

Dick nodded before stepping away, obviously intent on finding him. Mar'i watched him leave with a slightly frightened look painted on her face.

"You know, I bet if you ask nicely, Alfred might have something for you." Jason told her.

Jason had to bite back a laugh at the look he received from Alfred.

She looked at Jason, before shaking her head.

"You don't want anything?"

"No" Her voice was barely audible.

Jason wasn't quite sure what to. Dick was much better as helping her feel at ease. She was comfortable around Jason, but she was still apprehensive. Being essentially alone in an unfamiliar environment with people she didn't know wasn't doing much in helping their relationship.

"You know Mar'i," Tim started, "I know where all the best hiding places are in the Manor. Do you want to see them?"

She hesitated sending a quick glance towards Jason as if looking to see if he would offer something else before nodding.

"C'mon. I'll show you."

She followed him out of the kitchen.

"She's very cautious." Alfred commented after a moment.

"Yeah. I guess that a side effect with growing up on a planet where everyone is trying to kill you."

"You know he misses you."

"Who?"

"Master Bruce, myself. We both wish you'd come by more often."

"I'm here for her."

"If that's going to be your reason, it's a good one to choose."

A bucket of ice cold water suddenly washed over him. He shot up cough and shivering from the shock of it to see a rather angry Tim.

"What the hell's the matter with you?"

Jason was having trouble processing the question. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know. My ten year old niece called telling me she woke up alone and couldn't find her step father. Who I find passed out drunk on the roof of his apartment building. So I guess you could say I'm doing your job."

Jason groaned falling back onto the concrete. "Shit."

"That's all you have to say for yourself?"

Jason began to stand up. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. I'm not the one you need to be talking to. I get Dick being gone isn't doing you any favors. But the two of you have a child. A child that has unfortunately been left in your sole care. I don't care how depressed you feel, it gives you absolutely no excuse to pull this kind of shit. For two hours she had no idea if her guardian was dead somewhere, or had been kidnapped, or hell just straight up abandoned her. It's not like you don't have a history."

"I would never."

"But you'll get drunk up here and leave her completely defenceless."

"I'm sorry okay. I'm pathetic and weak. I miss him. I need him."

"First of all I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to. Second of all she needs you. The only pathetic thing here is that for some reason you can seem to get through that thick skull of yours that she needs you. Now more than ever."

"Thought you were to busy to leave the base?"

"Yeah well. I made an exception. I was kind of hoping you just got hurt and that you weren't doing something selfish. But unfortunately my gut instinct is always right."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's upset but she's fine."

Jason wasn't sure what to say.

Tim scoffed before rolling his eyes. "Go downstairs and take a shower, you reek, and talk to her. Because she's the one who deserves the explanation. Not me."

He knew Tim was completely right, and he also saw no point in putting up any sort of fight because Tim was right. Jason just submitted and went downstairs to stand under the running water for what felt like an eternity.

The water washed away the dirt and sweat, it washed away the stench of the vodka. But it left everything else. All the broken feelings that were causing him to make stupid decisions that endangered what was basically his child's life.

Jason knocked on Mar'i's door before entering. She was sitting in the corner of the room, reading a book she'd found in the hall closet. A childhood favorite of Jason's.

"'Where the Sidewalk Ends', good choice." He commented.

"Yeah, Dad said I could read it."

He nodded. "Yeah that was actually my copy that I, uh, stole from a teacher of mine when I was a lot younger. She let me keep it. I wasn't exactly a very good thief. Anyway. So your dad's gonna be on a late patrol tonight so I thought we could take advantage of the lack of supervision and do something fun."

"Like what?"

"Well let's see. It's getting close to your bedtime. But I was thinking we could ignore that, I could do the whole irresponsible parent thing, and take you to get ice cream at oh," Jason looked at his watch. "9:30"

She smiled.

"Yeah that's what I thought. C'mon."

The small shop wasn't too far from their apartment. Just around a block and a half. They walked hand in hand inside.

"Do you know what you want?"

"There's too much to choose from."

"The hardest decision in a child's life should be what ice cream flavor they want." Jason lowered down. "Now we have a couple options here. You could go the boring route and just pick a flavor or you could go with plain old vanilla and request for every single topping they have to offer. Of course that would be at the risk getting a ridiculous sugar high and a possible stomach ache and would get me in a whole lot of trouble."

She thought for a moment. "We could get a big one and split it."

"I like your thinking. But if we do that I do have one request we leave off the chopped nuts. We can keep everything else."

"Okay, then we leave off that strawberry sauce too."

"Uh. Okay I think I can manage."

She watched the people pass by the window for a while. Much like Dick she enjoyed people watching.

"Thank you Jason." She told him suddenly.

"For what?"

"This."

"No problem. Just don't tell your dad."

"It'll be our secret."

Her door was already open. He pushed past the threshold. She sat on her bed hugging her knees, not bothering to look up at him.

"Mar'i I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything, simply burying her face deeper against her knees.

"It was selfish and stupid of me to leave you alone while I wallowed around in my own self pity. It's not fair to you. I'm not gonna make any excuses about my actions. If you want I can arrange that you go and stay at the manor, away from me, for a little while or until your dad gets back."

She glanced in his direction.

"I know you miss him. It's not fair of us to put you through this." He walked over sitting at the edge of her bed. "I'm sorry."

"Tim said he found you on the roof."

"He did. And he yelled at me for you."

"He's probably better at it."

He sighed. "Do you want to leave?"

She finally looked at him. "No."

"What do you want?"

Tears begun to spill down her cheeks. "I want my dad back."

Jason wanted to hold her but wasn't sure if it'd be welcome. "I wish I could give that to you. If I could he'd be here, He wouldn't have ever left."

"What were you doing on the roof?"

"Being stupid and irresponsible."

She did respond to his comment, at least not in any sort of manner Jason could read. She was upset with him, and rightfully so.

"I understand if you won't let me, but if I can make it up to you."

"I just want to be alone."

Jason nodded and left without another word.

He closed the door behind him and then fell back against it. Dick being gone was really causing some issues.

It was mornings like this one that helped Jason stay sane. The early morning sun streaming through their curtains filling the room slowly with light.

But something felt off. The first reason being Dick who was, shockingly, still asleep. Dick never really allowed Jason to spoon him. He would tolerate it enough that he could fall asleep with Jason that close, but would squirm out of his grasp. Jason had gotten used to despite not really liking it. He figured out he could sleep against Dick and he would move out of reach.

Dick had been acting… strange for lack of a better term. Like he'd been up to something for the last two weeks. So the fact he was still in bed, with Jason this close to him, this late in the morning as opposed to up doing whatever it was he was up to was enough to tell Jason he was finished. That scared him slightly. It meant he was probably going to be deep in something very soon.

Nonetheless, Jason was still going to take advantage of Dick still being here and enjoy it while he still could.

He tried nuzzling himself a little deeper to try and sleep just a little more. No way washe abandoning this moment simply because his body was done sleeping. He wasn't, but if he was waking up that meant Dick would join him soon enough.

As if Dick could hear his thoughts he began to stir. Only enough to decide he didn't want to be awake and buried himself deeper in the bedding.

Jason smiled at the very Dick like action. He was exhausted and if he didn't need to be up he wasn't going too. Something he'd done for as long as Jason had known him.

He decided to let Dick sleep and get himself up and be slightly more productive. That didn't stop him planting a kiss against Dick's head before climbing out of bed to take a quick shower. Dick was up and about by the time Jason had finished, doing other things to get the family ready for the day i.e. preparing breakfast.

Jason snuck up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist, his nose pressed against Dick's neck taking in his strangely addictive scent.

"Hmmm, good morning Jay." He greeted, turning his head slightly to the side. "You're in a good mood."

Jason shook his head. "No more than usual."

Dick turned in Jason's grip to face him. "Really?"

He nodded. "I'm always in a good mood in the mornings."

"Jay, I've known you for a very long time. You are the furthest thing from a morning person."

"I'm not that bad."

"You can be."

"How about you just go along with it and not question it."

"Normally it means your up to something."

"No…"

"Yes. The last time you were acting like this you kidnapped me for a week and a half to some backwater town.

"And you loved it."

"That aside, my point still stands." Dick broke free of his grasp. "You are either up to something, or trying to get out of trouble, or both."

"Okay first, those aren't the only reasons I act like that; Second the only one up to something here is you."

"Ah, I forgot about the third reason. You wanting something. In this case information."

"Well like you said, we've known each other for a long time. I'd like to think I know you pretty well, so I feel like I would know when you got something serious in the works."

"It's just a Titan's thing. Absolutely nothing you need to worry about."

Jason wasn't completely sold. It was almost always something for him to worry about if it was taking this long for Dick to go over. He would argue his point further if it weren't for the small young girl living with them.

"Good morning." Dick greeted her, his tone changing to something more inviting.

Jason took half a step back, noticing how close he and Dick had been standing. It wasn't that Mar'i wasn't aware of their relationship, she just didn't quite fully understand it yet. So they kept a lot of the affection at bay when she was around.

"Good morning." She replied, letting her confusion be heard.

"How'd you sleep?" Jason asked.

"Fine. Why are you two acting strange?"

"Strange? Dick are we acting strange?"

Dick shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Could you describe it? Strange how?"

She wasn't amused. Dick, however, wasn't even bothering to contain his grin.

Her eyes flickered between them. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Dick silenced any other argument she might've had in her arsenal, kissing the top of her head while placing a plate in front of her. "Here."

She read the room and knew something was up, she was her father's daughter after all, but chose not to press. Jason knew she needed something to throw her off a little so she wouldn't stress herself out. Something Dick also did.

"You know, in a couple of weeks you'll have been here for a year." Jason told her.

"Has it really been a year? It feels like it's been forever and as the same time a few weeks." Dick admitted.

Jason nodded. "Maybe we should do something special."

"That true. We don't know when your birthday is. Maybe this could work in its place."

"What's a birthday."

Dick sucked in a breath. "Wow, I forget that there's some things you still don't know. Which means we have to do something."

"Like what?"

"Anything you want."

Jason could see the ideas forming in her head.

She pushed her spoon around the bowl completely uninterested. It was sad to watch how depressed she just kept getting.

"Mar'i you need to eat."

She didn't acknowledge him, continuing to stir the soup.

Jason sighed. "Mar'i come on. Not eating isn't gonna help anything."

She let go of the spoon, falling back against the chair. She'd been quiet all day.

"C'mon, what can I do for you?"

She glanced at him. "Nothing."

"There's nothing I can do for you?"

"Nothing you can accomplish."

"Mar'i please. Don't start this. You know your father does this. Just starts shutting down the more depressed he gets, I don't want you doing that and I know for a fact neither would he."

"I just want him to come home." Her voice cracked.

Jason got up and went over to her. She just couldn't hold it in, letting it all out the moment Jason presses her against his chest. He didn't say anything he just let her cry while he tried to sooth her. Sometimes crying help people feel better, and he was hoping that was the case here.

"I know." He started running his finger through her hair. "God you have no idea how much I get it." He pulled away and knelt down so they were eye level. "Look he knows better than to make unkeepable promises. But I have complete faith that he will come home because that's what he does. If there's someone that needs him, he's going to take care of him. For as long as I've known him has had the annoying inability to let people down, and I sincerely doubt he's going to start now."

Jason started wiping the tears off her face.

"You can't know that."

Jason smiled. "Sweetie I've known him for a long time. And you're right I can't guarantee he will, but he's always been predictable on that front. He may not come home unscathed, he might have some severe injuries that are hard or damn near impossible to recover from. But he will because that's what he does when people depend on him."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held tightly.

"How about I take you back to the base tomorrow. We might get luck and he'll be out of that dead zone or even better he'll be back and he just didn't tell anyone."

She nodded but didn't let go.

"I just don't understand why you have to go." Jason asked.

Dick sighed. "Jay we've been over this. They need my help. I'm not gonna just ignore that."

"Nah, far to nobel for that."

"It's just a week."

"And you and I both know that it could turn into something longer and far more dangerous. Forgive me for wanting to be a little selfish and keep you safe."

"It's just precautions. We don't want this turning bad, so you know prepare for the worst so it doesn't happen."

"Yeah I get that. But since when do we have that kind of luck? It's gonna go south anyways. So let's wait for it to do just that and then we can fix it together."

The look he received was more than enough to tell him Dick's opinion on that idea.

"Jay, as much as I would love your approval on this. I'm going to do this with or without it."

"You're right, you won't have it."

Dick clenched his jaw.

"C'mon. This is what's you've been up to for the past three weeks? Planning a huge off world mission?"

"It's more than that."

He could see Dick was going to be unmovable on the subject.

Jason bit his tongue before taking Dick's face in his hands. "Just come home."

Dick gave a sad smile instead of an answer (which Jason absolutely hated that Dick would do something. Verifying that he knew this mission could get him killed). He leaned in capturing Jason's lips with his own.

Dick knew better than to make an unkeepable promise. Even when Jason desperately wanted him to.

Cass had told him to take the night off from patrol. Jason knew she would call if he was needed, but he knew she could take care of things better than he could.

This domesticated night was pretty nice. Jason was trying to make it up to Mar'i for getting completely wasted the night before. Deciding it was movie night. She fell asleep against him and Jason let her stay there instead of putting her in her bed. It was kind of nice to have another person there. Even if that person was his ten year old step daughter.

She was having a hard time with all of this. Jason suspected it reminded her all to much of the last time she saw her mother. Someone who he was pretty sure use her last few moment to send Mar'i to Earth and give her a fighting chance at a good life.

Of all the people this was hurting, she was getting the worst of it. Nights were the hardest for both of them. Jason couldn't exactly stop patrolling but couldn't leave her alone either. She hasn't been around people she trust through the night recently, so she wasn't really sleeping all that well. Not that Jason had been either. Nights after boring patrols of the city when everything in the apartment was dark and silent made him feel strangely vulnerable.

Tonight really wasn't an exception. Even with Mar'i right next to him, with a good portion of the lights still on. It felt dark and empty, and made him feel alone.

Jason reached for his laptop. He wanted to make sure it was safe to go to the base, make sure he could talk to Tim. He opened up a chatroom and sent a message to Tim.

JT: We need to talk.

Jason knew it was unlikely Tim would answer him immediately. He might be petty and just ignore because this morning's events. He was thankful Tim was still able to pull himself away and try to fix things.

After five minutes he was online.

TD: Why?

"That was quick." Jason mumbled

JT: I'm taking Mar'i to the base tomorrow. I need to know what's going on and make sure I'm not traumatizing her more than she already is.

TD: Then you shouldn't bring her.

JT: Did something happen.

TD: More like something will.

JT: Details would be appreciated.

TD: There's a couple teams coming back tomorrow and from what I've heard they're in pretty bad shape. And before you ask, I already checked, it's not Dick's team.

JT: Who's is it?

TD: Mine, and then the one that the League sent.

JT: Your's? You don't have a team. You're stuck at the base practically running things.

TD: I do have a Team actually if you would pay attention one and a while. The Titan's team that I lead. And I'm also not the only one here running thing.

JT: Yeah, I know. You also have B, and Wonder Woman. But I know it's mostly on your shoulders.

TD: What are you? My mom? Pretty sure Alfred has that role taken care of, and this sounds like your slightly concerned. Aww Jason, I didn't know you cared

JT: I'm going to Alfred you said that and yeah I am concerned. When you get into something sleep kind of goes out the window when your involved.

TD: Sleep is for the weak.

Jason rolled his eyes.

TD: Kidding. I have been sleeping. Regular amounts of time even. Be impressed.

JT: I am. And I am still taking Mar'i out there tomorrow and I expect to see you.

TD: Or what?

JT: You'll regret it.

TD: Empty threat much?

JT: I'm serious

Tim left the chat. The conversation was over apparently. From what Jason could tell, they might be seeing the end of this nightmare.

Jason glanced down at Mar'i sleeping soundly against his arm. A soft smile appeared on his lips as he moved to scoop her up, and take her to bed.

"C'mon," he whispered to her, "You'll sleep with me tonight."

He laid her down and she quickly buried herself in the covers. Jason just laid there for a long time. Staring up at the ceiling for hours on end, unsure when sleep finally overtook him.

Jason had been lonely the past week. Dick had left on his secret mission almost six weeks ago. The first five weren't too bad. He and Dick could still have conversations, he could actually see Dick, granted it was through a computer screen, but it was better than nothing.

Now he didn't even have that. At first he didn't give it much thought until he found out Dick was now unreachable. Jason had a problem with that. Unfortunately there wasn't anybody who could tell him what was going on.

He wasn't going to stand for it. So Jason decided to go down to the base and figure out exactly where Dick was and Tim was going to tell him.

It took him a long time to find Tim while he ran around the compound doing important leader stuff.

"Red!" Jason called out, running to meet him.

"Someone had better be dying." Tim said more to himself than to Jason.

"Yeah you if you don't start giving me some answers."

"Jay I don't have time for this." Tim looked like he was ready to drop from shear stress and exhaustion.

"When was the last time you slept?" Jason found himself asking.

Tim shrugged. "I sleep when I can. Is that why you came here?"

"No, where is he?"

"Who?"

"You know damn well who."

Tim sighed. "I'd hoped he had gotten a chance to explain it to you. Guess that's why he sent me this to give to you."

He held up two fingers with a folded up piece of paper in between them, handing it to Jason.

"What the hell is this?"

"I'm guessing his explanation."

"You're kidding right?"

Tim shook his head. "You know this is frustrating for me to right? I haven't talked to him either. The fact that he's my brother and I care what happens to him aside, he's leading a really important team that I can no longer communicate so I have no idea if I need to warn the League or if this was all just some big misunderstanding. I get a letter isn't much, but at least it's something."

Jason sighed. "Doesn't make it any less frustrating."

He shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. Now I have to go."

He didn't stick around for a response. Jason couldn't imagine the amount of stress this kid was probably under.

He turned the paper in his hands. Tim was right, something was better than nothing. Dick had at least taken a couple of seconds to possibly explain things or give Jason some reassurance. Even when he was unreachable and miles away he was still taking care of him. That thought only depressed him and made him his spouse even more. Dick could handle things better than Jason ever could.

For some reason he couldn't seem to bring himself to open the letter and read it. Jason wasn't sure if it was a fear of the explanation he was going to receive or… actually scratch that. Jason knew exactly what he was afraid this was. He was afraid of Dick affinity for preparing for the worst, and what he'd asked Tim to give to Jason was his final goodbye. Which Jason was sure he was never going to be able to handle under any circumstance.

Jason chewed his lip. He should should read it because, Dick being Dick, He probably included important.

But no way was he going to read it here. He still had reputation to uphold. Breaking down crying in the middle of the compound wasn't going to do it any favors.

Jason couldn't sleep. Or more accurately couldn't stay that way. He just kept falling in and out of a soundless sleep. Eventually he'd given up and stood on the fire escape outside his window.

He glanced back through the open window to see Mar'i still fast asleep. At least one of them was getting some rest. His watch said it was barely 3:30, which usually marked the end of a normal patrol. He hadn't seen anyone but this area was usually Dick's territory and lately Jason had been covering that. It made since that none of them were over here, instead sticking to the more slummy and criminally active areas.

The early morning kept sending cold bursts of air in his direction that would make any normal person shiver, but Jason had long since become immune to the cold. He really wanted to smoke. He'd been pretty good but sometimes he really couldn't help himself and tonight (or this morning depending on one's life choices) was one of those times.

He took a long drag, exhaling slowly. He could picture the look on Dick's face if he could see Jason now. Dick would tell him it was a nasty habit that could kill him, and then Dick would refuse to let Jason near him until he got rid of the scent and taste of tobacco from his person. The memory, despite making his chest ache, brought a small smile to his lips.

Even when Dick was thousands of miles away, he would still somehow know Jason had done this and be slightly disappointed, and that very thought made him put out said cigarette. Dick was right, it was a pretty bad habit

Jason sighed leaning back against the bars. He stuck his hand the pocket of his leather jacket, where he felt a folded up piece of paper. He pulled it out.

It was Dick's letter.

He never did bring himself to read it when it was first given to him. Jason sent another glance towards Mar'i. He needed to read it.

Slowly Jason unfolded the letter.

Jason,

The last thing I want to do is give you false hope. But I also don't want to give you the idea that I'm never coming home. Still I feel we should always prepare for the worst. There is a chance that I won't survive this. That thought genuinely scares me, but it's a real one, and it needs to be taken seriously.

I know I said I wasn't going to get involved in anything too dangerous, and I'm sure you've figured out that was a lie, but what I have been up to is nothing compared to what's coming. This is an end game. We all know it. It's the only way we can ensure they can't come after us once we leave. Only it requires us to operate completely out of a communication deadzone.

I'm having a hard time admitting it, but this is it. I will fight with everything it me to come home, back to our family. I miss those Saturday mornings where you force me to sleep in so you can bring me breakfast in bed and just keep spoiling me in ways I don't deserve, I miss the way you'll try to hold me throughout the night even though I know you prefer to be the one held like that and I love to accommodate it, I miss how Mar'i follows us around with the pure curiosity and how I get to witness her pull out the best in you, and I just miss you. Every single aspect of you. Everytime you've popped into my head it's made it just that much easier to completely abandon this mission and just come running back home and back to you.

I also owe you and apology for a lot of things. The first one being that I didn't tell you what I was going on from the get-go, second I knew I was going to be gone longer than a week though I didn't think I'd be gone this long, third I know Mar'i and your relationship is still pretty shaky and me leaving like this isn't helping it very much, and finally the strangest thing I find myself being worried about amidst all my other concerns is I'm sorry I missed our anniversary. I'll have to make it up to you when I get back

Please don't take this letter as me saying goodbye because I refuse to say goodbye, especially like this. I will do everything in my power to come home to you. Don't lose hope and start think I'm going to die or something equally stupid.

I love you, and I hope I will get back to you very, very, soon.

Dick

Jason read the letter three times before refolding it, and for some strange reason found himself laughing.

"This loveable idiot is apologizing for being noble and doing the right things and that he can't control time."

The beginnings of dawn began to appear in the sky. For some reason he found himself feeling tremendously better. Yeah Dick was essentially saying goodbye without actually saying it because he's Dick and that's what he does, but he was still doing what he does best. Keeping Jason reassured and grounded. He found himself wishing he was less of a coward so he would've read that letter sooner.

Dick saying he was going to fight with everything in him to come home was more than a promise, even if he said it wasn't a guarantee he was coming back. He said it so it was going to happen. Jason actually felt himself starting to believe everything he told Mar'i the day before. Dick was going to come home.

"Thank you baby. Even when your out of reach you're still taking care of me." Jason pressed the piece of paper to his lips.

How had he gotten so lucky as to receive Dick Grayson's love and affection? Something he never deserved. And yet, Dick was completely loyal to him and for some reason had this unconditional love for him. Jason found himself unworthy and Dick didn't care.

Jason couldn't stop smiling and really didn't want to. His husband was going to come home, and even though Jason didn't know when that would be, it made the sunrise he was watching all the more breathtaking.

Another strange quirk Mar'i had inherited from her father, was a love for cereal. Jason watched as she had an intense focus on the bowl of cornflakes and devoured it. He silently chuckled at the sight.

The last three weeks had been uneventful. Jason and Mar'i filled their time with various things. Well really Jason was going to instil a love for literature in the young girls so they had been plowing through many of his favorites. The last two days had consisted of Lord of the Rings, which is taking slightly longer to read then some of the other books on their list. But Mar'i was really enjoying the challenge and Jason was enjoying the idea of making her more well read than her father.

"You know we're almost done with the first book." Mar'i tells him, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Yes we are, which means I'm going to have to go on a hunt to find the other two."

"Maybe if we finish today, tomorrow we can head down to the library."

Jason smiled as he nodded. "If you can finish it today. You've gotten through a good two thirds of it so. Let's just say I have high expectations."

She smiled and returned to her cornflakes.

Jason took a long sip of his coffee as he leaned up against the counter. Today was looking like it was going to be another uneventful one.

Then there was a knock on the door.

He and Mar'i exchanged equal looks of confusion.

"Expecting someone?" He asked her, jokingly.

"No."

Jason put down the mug and went to answer the door.

He was instantly glad he had put the mug down, as he wasn't expecting who was on the other side.

"Hey. I would've just come in, but I lost my keys." Dick told him, grinning like an idiot.

The way he stood told Jason he was limping, his nose had obviously been broken (again), there was some minor stitching on his left temple, and his face read he'd gone several days without sleep.

Jason didn't waste any time, grabbing onto Dick like he might vanish if he didn't. Kissing him like he'd never kissed him before.

Dick broke apart, his eyes welling up. "I guess you're not too upset about the keys?"

Jason laughed tears already falling. "We'll change the locks" he told him before burying his face back into Dick's neck.

"Dad!"

Jason stepped back just as Mar'i jumped up into Dick's arms. He stumbled back, but regained his balance. Obviously he really couldn't handle the force of a little girl who missed her father right now.

He stepped past the threshold. "I missed you." He told her.

"You can't leave anymore." She told him through his shoulder.

He laughed. "Don't plan on ever leaving like that again sweetheart."

"When you'd get back?" Jason asked him.

"At like midnight. Had to get checked and make I didn't have any severe injuries, which I don't, and give Tim a lot of stuff before I could even begin to leave the compound. And I figured you guys were sleeping."

Mar'i didn't seem like she was letting go of Dick anytime soon. Not that Jason blamed her.

After a few minutes though Dick had reached his limit. "Okay, my injuries may not have been severe but they're enough that I gotta put you down."

She allowed herself to be put down but continued to hold onto him, keeping one of his arms restrained.

"So what's the rundown?" Jason asks him, wondering if Dick broke his leg by the way he's standing

"Later." he replies quietly. "Now I see a bowl of cornflakes which I can only assume are Mar'i's and I haven't had cornflakes going on fourteen weeks now. So… you can see where I'm going with this."

With Dick saying something like that, it really helped it feel like a normal Saturday morning. Jason found himself wondering once again how he'd gotten so lucky to have been blessed with a family like this one.

I've been sitting on this idea for a while now and I'm so glad I finally got it in writing. Until my next project.