Preface/Author's Note:

Memoir of a Submissive is the name of a manuscript submitted for publication to Bennington Steele Publishing House by Leila Williams, a former submissive of Christian Grey. As in the original books, Leila's role in this story will be secondary, and she will be just as cray cray as ever. She will not be the only one of Christian's former submissives to cause him headaches, but she gets the honor of being first since she is the one who writes the offending manuscript (or, at least, she claims authorship of it). It is this manuscript that actually starts the ball rolling between our favorite couple, so we can give Leila credit for bringing our favorite couple together, as you will soon see.

It is important to recognize before you read on that other than a few more crazies (including Mistress Elena, pretty similar to the original one, maybe slightly more evil), BDSM will be presented in a rather positive light in this story. It is not written for folks who are offended by BDSM, but for those who are open-minded and like to read about good hard sex with plenty of kink; there will be lots of mind-blowing lemons, and pages overflowing with sexual tension even when there are no lemons. However, it is fiction, so of course the good hard kinky sex will lead to everlasting love for all of our favorite characters. But only after a few drama-filled bumps in the road along the way.

Another note just for readers of my other story, A Tale of Two CEOs, which I have not yet finished. Memoir of a Submissive will not contain any instances of sexual trauma, as too many readers were offended by Ana's surprise rape by Jack Hyde, for which I did not provide adequate warning. My point in that story was and still is to show the reality of bad things happening to good people, and how Ana's own inner strength and love and support from Christian and family help her overcome and help others. The problem is, there are too many other things about that story that are too unrealistic, so being slapped with hard, cold reality was difficult to handle, not just for the readers, but for me too. It was my first attempt at fanfic, so it has plenty of flaws. I do intend to finish it, but I needed something more light-hearted before going back to it. Memoir of a Submissive will be a fun story with a happy ending and nothing too awfully bad happening to anybody, at least not "on camera." There will be threats of some ugly shit, and references to evil deeds by evil people, but no direct action. And above all, good will triumph over evil; there will be a happy ending not only for the people you already know and love but also for the new characters you'll also grow to love.

The main characters in Memoir of a Submissive are, of course, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. This Anastasia is not quite as innocent as the original, but she is just as thoughtful and compassionate. Unlike the original Ana, this one is also a bit of a genius, with not quite a photographic memory, but close to it, at least for things she's read. She has the ability to recite pages of books back to you, if she takes the effort to read them carefully enough. Christian is also a genius, but not much different than the original. Perhaps the biggest difference between this Christian and the original is that he won't have a problem with other people looking at Anastasia and "wanting what's his." He'll actually get off on the fact that they can't have her because she belongs to him.

Most of the other characters from the original books will also make an appearance, including Grace and Carrick Grey, Elliot Grey, and Mia Grey. Their personalities will be a little different than the original characters; for example, Elliot is more mature and no longer a man-whore, but still just as fun-loving and easy-going as usual (Although becoming a father will shake him up a little). Mia is also much more mature than in the books even though she's still a college student (She's pre-Law at Harvard). Also, they will have younger siblings, twins named Carson and Gabriela, who are now teenagers and will play a major role in this story. Kate Kavanagh will also make an appearance, but not as Ana's best friend. They'll meet and eventually become friends, but this Kate is older than Ana, already engaged to Elliot, and pregnant with his child. Anastasia's parents will be fairly similar to the characters in the book: Ray Steele will be her beloved father even though he's actually her step-father; Carla will be the same old self-absorbed Carla. Jason and Gail Taylor will already be married, and for the most part the same wonderful people that we know and love. Luke Sawyer will have a less prominent role as security, at least in the beginning, and Anastasia's kick-ass CPO will be Samantha Prescott.

As in the original, Anastasia grew up in Monsanto, Washington, but in this story, Jose Rodriguez was her next-door neighbor and best friend for as far back as they can remember. Jose Senior and Ray Steele were also good friends, like in the original. Ana and Jose dated briefly as teenagers before Jose came out as gay, which only made their friendship grow stronger. They went to the same college, where they were roommates their final year (when Jose met B.B. Bennington, the man who became his husband and Dominant), and Ana later served as the maid of honor in their wedding.

B.B. has also become a very close friend to Anastasia, and when she expressed interest in the BDSM lifestyle, which she learned all about from Jose, B.B. reluctantly agreed to train her to be a submissive. Under B.B.'s protection, Anastasia became a member of the same BDSM club where Jose and B.B. are members, known by its members as simply "Down Under." This exclusive secretive club is owned by B.B. and his twin sister Beatrice. Little does Anastasia know, but Christian Grey is the third owner. And as they are members of the same BDSM club, Christian watches Anastasia... and wants her. He knows who she is, because as one of the owners, he had to sign off on allowing her in. Anastasia notices Christian too, but she doesn't know who he is due to one of the house rules: masks at all times. She only knows him as his identity as "the Grey Wolf."

The problem for Christian in pursuing Anastasia, other than the fact that his best friend B.B. Bennington won't allow it, is that Anastasia hates him because of what happened when she started her publishing house eighteen months ago. She opened Bennington Steele Publishing House after resigning from her job at SIP due to a huge blow-up and misunderstanding with Christian Grey, the details of which will come later in the story but will be alluded to from the beginning. As in the original books, Anastasia got a job with SIP right out of college, working as a junior editor under Jack Hyde. This is the same awful Jack Hyde as in the original books, warts and obsession with Christian Grey and all. However, in this story, he assigns Anastasia to oversee the writing of the biography of Christian Grey. Of course, our beloved megalomaniac does not approve of a biography being written about him, and he proceeds to make Anastasia's life hell on earth. He buys SIP, prompting Anastasia to immediately quit. With the support of her friend B.B. Bennington, she pursues her dream of starting her own publishing house. Little does she know that her financial support is actually being provided by Christian Grey, who realized too late that Anastasia was not a part of the plot against him in the writing of the biography.

One final note: this story will be written all in third person, which will permit a glimpse into the mind of whomever is the focus of the moment. I do not expect it to be as long as my other story, but it will take some time for me to write it since it is not pre-written beyond the first three chapters, which I'll post this week. If future chapters are like the next two chapters, they are quite long, so it might take a few weeks between updates. Please be patient if you want to read along as I post it. If you prefer to read finished stories, then you might want to wait a few months and then come back here once I've marked it as complete.

If you like this story, please let me know. Unlike my other story, I'll make comments before chapters to respond to questions you have. If you hate it, then don't waste your time reading it or writing any nasty comments. I'm sure you have much better uses of your time.

And so, without further adieu, here it is: Memoir of a Submissive:

Chapter 1: Introduction

Another sleepless night, Christian thought to himself as he sat at his piano, playing it skillfully but absently. He couldn't get his recent conversation with Elena out of his mind. Lately, she had been getting on his last nerve, insisting on his taking on submissives that he didn't want. The women she was finding for him just weren't doing it for him anymore. He wasn't sure why, but he no longer found them attractive, and he was little by little losing any desire to even punish them. In fact, the only way he'd been able to get off lately was by playing with them openly at his club, Down Under, and by seeking out a certain pair of ocean blue eyes in the crowd.

When he'd threatened to end his arrangement with Elena and find his own subs, she had laughed in his face. "Where do you think you'd be without me, Darling?" she had said tauntingly. "Most likely, you'd be in prison. You were an out of control brat when I took you under my wing, and now look at you. I made you the man you are."

"I'm not happy, Elena. Your women aren't doing it for me. I don't want them anymore," Christian told her bluntly.

"Honey, the women I train are perfect. Your problem is that you've stopped giving any of them a chance. You don't even take them out of the public eye of your little sex club any longer. When was the last time you took one of them to Escala? When was the last time you even stepped foot in your own playroom?"

"I don't want to take any of them there," Christian responded.

"You're losing your touch, Christian," Elena told him. "You need a refresher on what it means to be a Dom. Thankfully for you, I am willing to sub for you myself, to retrain you on all the things you seem to have forgotten."

Christian stared at her in disbelief. "You?" he asked with no small amount of disdain. "Elena... I haven't wanted you in years. There's no way in hell I'm going to..."

"You're going to burn out, Darling. You need to gain back your control before it's too late." She looked genuinely worried.

Christian looked at her confusedly. "Elena, I haven't lost my control," he told her. "GEH is stronger than ever. Everything in my life is in place, exactly where it should be. I'm just not attracted to those women. I don't want them."

"Christian, you don't see what other people see when they look at you. And besides, your tastes are so... specific... it's hard to find women who exactly meet your needs. You're being too picky, dear. And you go through women too quickly, hardly leaving me time to train any new ones."

"Then stop," Christian told her. "I'm done, Elena. I don't want any more subs from you."

She laughed at him again. "Of course, darling. When you change your mind, I'll have a sub or two ready for you."

That had basically been the end of their conversation, and after she'd left, Christian had gotten angrier and angrier at her words and her attitude. The audacity, to think that he would even consider dominating her, of all people. Sure, she'd helped him when he needed help, but he had only been a child back then, unable to help himself. Now, he was a man, and he didn't need her help, and truth be told, he hadn't needed her for a very long time. He determined going forward that he would never touch another submissive that Elena Lincoln tried to introduce him to.

His thoughts turned to more pleasant things, to that pair of ocean blue eyes that had been haunting him for months. He'd been shocked the first time he'd seen Anastasia Steele's application for membership at Down Under. Not only was Down Under a BDSM club, and he could hardly believe that the uptight Ms. Steele could be into any kind of sexual kink, much less the things he was into, but also... according to her application, she was a submissive under the protection of Christian's best friend, B.B., who was gay. There was no way B.B. was dominating her sexually.

Christian found out the first night Anastasia attended Down Under, the same night she was initiated as a member, that B.B. was acting as her protector and trainer. He was teaching her how to be a submissive, but there was nothing sexual about their relationship. B.B. did allow his submissive and husband Jose to attend to Anastasia's needs, including getting her off with a vibrator, but only after she'd been taken to their private room after her scene, so Christian had never gotten to watch that, much to his regret. Although, truth be told, he probably would have lost it watching another man get her off, even if it was a gay man using a vibrator just to give her relief, not for any sexual fulfillment of his own. Christian wasn't jealous of Jose or B.B., but he believed from the beginning that Anastasia belonged with him instead of either of them.

He'd expressed interest in her immediately. As far as her appearance went, she was exactly his type. Brunette hair, long and beautiful. Petite build with perky breasts that were just the right size. Fair skin that turned perfectly pink when she'd been flogged or whipped, which she seemed to enjoy each time B.B. did it. Probably due to her training, she had succeeded in finding her subspace pretty early on, and then she'd craved it after that first time, to the point of doing things to get B.B. to punish her. Yes, she was exactly Christian's type.

"Are you out of your mind?" B.B. had asked him when he'd first expressed interest in Anastasia. "You both hate each other. She doesn't have a fucking clue who you are at Down Under, but you don't have that excuse. Hell, Grey, it was only a few months ago that you thought she was the biggest bitch in Seattle. She's still the same person now that she was then."

"I don't hate her," Christian had insisted. "And that was before she became a member of an exclusive BDSM club. Our exclusive BDSM club. She's a submissive. She can be trained not to be a bitch."

"She was never a bitch," B.B. defended her. "You were wrong about her, and treated her like shit. She was just reacting to that."

Christian decided not to argue. "Water under the bridge."

"Not only does she not know your identity at Down Under, but she also doesn't know that Bennington Steele is owned by GEH. She thinks I funded her start-up all by myself, which is why she insisted on using my name. How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out that you own her ass?"

Christian smirked as he replied, "When I own her ass, she won't give two shits about the financing of her publishing house. She'll be too focused on pleasing me to think about it."

B.B. snorted. "You're full of shit, and you know it. She's going to care. Her publishing house is everything to her, and she cares about every little detail. She's more meticulous than you are, and that's saying a fucking lot. And you know she's going to go ape shit crazy. That's why you insisted on keeping it a secret in the first place."

Christian responded, "I insisted on keeping it a secret because she was being a bitch. I knew, as soon as she found out that I was funding her, that she'd go from wanting to kick my ass to kissing my ass, and I didn't want to deal with another ass-kisser."

"She won't be kissing your ass. She thinks I've funded her, and she hasn't been kissing my ass."

Christian snorted, "No, she just asked you to train her to be a submissive. If I'd had any inkling that she was interested in the lifestyle, then I'd have told her everything from the beginning. Then, I could have been the Dom training her."

"Well, that's bullshit too," B.B. argued. "You don't have the patience to train a submissive. You want a microwavable freezer food sub. Hell, I'm not sure why you even need a flesh and blood woman when a blow-up doll would work just as well. You could beat the hell out of it, and you wouldn't have to deal with any emotions afterwards. You could fuck it to your heart's content, and it would never feel any of the emotions that you seem to detest. And you'd save a boatload of money on all the expensive gifts that you pass out like water."

"Fuck you, Bear," Christian muttered, but without any malice. He realized that there was some truth to B.B.'s argument.

B.B. wasn't deterred, because he knew Christian wasn't angry if he called him Bear. He continued, "When you decide you want a real submissive, then come back to me, bro. But be honest with yourself. All you're interested in is disposable pussy. And that's not what Anastasia is. There's no way in hell I'm going to let you get near her."

B.B.'s words hadn't offended Christian. They'd always been just that blunt with one another, since the beginning of their friendship long ago. But Christian had not been deterred; he had not given up trying to convince B.B. to let him talk to Anastasia and then let her decide if she wanted him as her Dom. For months now, they'd been having this same argument. Christian had insisted that he didn't want Anastasia just for "disposable pussy," but B.B. had seen his track record with women, and he knew that the chances of Anastasia getting hurt by Christian were very great. He knew that Anastasia was sensitive and caring. She was a romantic at heart, and BDSM in and of itself was a danger to her for that reason. But he also knew that she could have her cake and eat it too, with the right Dom. None of the assholes at Down Under were good enough for her, including the Grey Wolf, as Christian identified himself at Down Under.

Miles Down Under was the name of the club that all its members referred to simply as "Down Under." It was a very closely-guarded-secret BDSM club that was located in the subbasement of the same building as the Mile High Club, and Bennington Steele Publishing House. The entire building was owned by Christian Grey, the man, not GEH the company. At the very top of the building was a high-end revolving restaurant that served some of the best French cuisine in the country, named simply "Dans Les Nuages" (In the Clouds). Just below that was the Mile High Club, also a high end restaurant, not quite as expensive or as luxurious as Dans Les Nuages, but still more extravagant than most people could afford except on special occasions. It was a popular venue for corporate lunches and dinners, and many of the members had offices in the same building. The Mile High Club required membership for reservations, and was by reservation only, but all of the tenants in the building got a complementary membership as part of their lease agreement. The Mile High Club had a daily breakfast buffet, and an eclectic menu for lunch and dinner.

Most of the building was office space. There were several charitable organizations and other non-profits on the second through ninth floors, numerous law firms and accounting offices on the tenth through sixteenth floors, and investment bankers on the seventeenth through twentieth (including Bennington Investments, owned and operated by B.B. and Beatrice Bennington). Bennington Steele Publishing House was on the 25th floor, and if all went well, they would soon be expanding to the 26th floor. A few of the floors were still empty, since Christian was picky about who he allowed to lease office space. He insisted on a very thorough background check for every applicant.

In addition to the two restaurants at the top of the building, there was also a much more informal and relaxed cafe on the first floor called "Miles to Go." The walls of entire dining area were decorated with the script of the Robert Frost poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening," and the cozy atmosphere was perfect for book lovers, which is one reason why this was Anastasia's favorite cafe in all of Seattle... that, and their incredible turkey club on house-made honey oat bread.

Also on the first floor, there was a coffee shop called "First Mile." Anastasia wasn't a coffee drinker, but most Seattleites loved the speciality lattes at First Mile. Anastasia was partial to their vanilla bean scones, and she occasionally splurged for a chai latte.

Then, there was the nightclub that all of Seattle knew and loved, Miles Below. This nightclub was known for its popularity among famous people, particularly professional athletes and artists. More than a few times, members of famous bands like the Foo Fighters and Pearl Jam had been spotted there, as had athletes from the Seahawks and Mariners.

Miles Below was located one level down from the first floor of the building. Very few people knew that below that, another club existed, one that could only be accessed by an elevator code that changed every week, and only members had access to it. Before entering the club, all of the members were required to wear masks. Extra masks were kept in the foyer to the club, where members checked in each week, but most of them preferred to bring their own.

The members took on new identities when they entered the club. Christian was known only as "the Grey Wolf," and he always wore a simple gray mask that covered his eyes and nose, gray t-shirt, and gray slacks. B.B. was known as "the Brown Bear," referring to a nickname that Christian gave him when they were teenagers, and B.B. always wore all brown, similar to Christian's all gray. B.B.'s twin sister Beatrice was the Dominatrix "Queen Bee," and she wore an elaborate costume each week, complete with an ornate mask. Anastasia's identity was simply "Princess," and she followed Jose's advice and wore a tiara with her mask, both adorned with rhinestones. She thought both were gaudy, but Jose insisted that it was part of the fun of the club. Not all of the members had secret identities. A few used their own names, like Jose. But all of them wore masks that covered at least the top half of their faces, as this was one of the house rules.

Christian Grey and B.B. Bennington, who co-owned Miles Down Under, along with Beatrice Bennington, had been best friends since they'd been in middle school together. B.B. had known all about Christian's introduction to BDSM by Elena Lincoln. He'd been the only confidante Christian had ever had, and he'd guarded all his secrets to date and had never judged, even though he'd made his dislike for Elena obvious from the start. B.B.'s own interest in BDSM had come much later, when he and Beatrice were in their final year of college at Stanford. They'd both begun exploring it at the same time, and neither of them had ever looked back.

Christian knew all about B.B.'s colorful family. He was also friends with Beatrice, B.B.'s twin, and he was acquainted with their younger sisters because they were best friends with his own sister, Mia. Christian knew that both B.B. and Beatrice were estranged from their father, who was the biggest asshole in the country. They had been closer to their mother, even though she was one of the strangest people Christian had ever known and apparently always had been, but she had died a few years ago in an accident that also took the lives of two of their siblings.

Brian and Babette Bennington had dated for about a decade and finally gotten married at around age 30. Brian was a tall fair-skinned blond-haired, green-eyed marketing director at one of Seattle's top businesses. Babette had been a beautiful dark-skinned island girl, having immigrated from Bermuda when in her teens. Together, they'd made beautiful biracial babies.

For the first three years of their marriage, they'd tried to get pregnant, and when they had failed, they'd done a few rounds of IVF. The first successful round resulted in B.B. and Beatrice. Actually, there had been four fetuses, but one had died in utero. They'd been born triplets: Beatrice, then B.B., whose birth name was Barnabas, then Bernice. As if these names weren't bad enough, it got even crazier, with their middle names: Beatrice Blanche, Barnabas Blake, and Bernice Blaire. Christian had learned about Bernice, not from B.B., but from Beatrice. On their eighteenth birthday, she'd gotten drunk and told all, including B.B.'s full name, which he later made Christian swear to never tell another person. He hated his name, and he never told anyone. He also hated to talk about his dead sister, who had died of leukemia when they were only five years old. Actually, he never talked about any of his dead siblings, including the ones who died later.

After another round of IVF only a month or two after Bernice's death, Babette Bennington once again got pregnant with four fetuses. This time, all four of the babies survived, three girls and one boy. If there had been any doubt about Babette Bennington's sanity, the names of her four newborn babies should have cleared it all up. Brian apparently had no hand in naming the children, or in raising them either. Once he gave the doctors his sperm, he was done with that whole process, other than providing for the family financially. Babette didn't seem to care very much whether Brian was there or not, as she was focused on her children. She named the newborn quadruplets all by herself, without a complaint in the world: Beverly Bliss was born first, followed by Bradley Brice, Bethany Blue, and finally, Brittany Belle. On the night that Beatrice had gotten drunk and told Christian all about their crazy family, she'd joked that she was thankful her crazy mother hadn't had any more children, because there's no doubt she would have come up with more ridiculous double-B names. This was, of course, before the deaths of her mother and two siblings. She would never have spoken that way of her mother after her death.

Christian vividly remembered the accident that took the lives of three of the Benningtons. The quadruplets were all friends with Mia, so the deaths of two of them had been devastating for both his beloved little sister as well as his best friend B.B. Babette had gone on a trip with Brad and Britt, as the two of them were called, to visit Stanford University, where they'd both wanted to attend in the footsteps of their older siblings. Brian's boss, in a rare move, had granted them use of the company jet, even though Brian was not planning to take off work and go with them (He couldn't spare the time, he said). The plane crashed, killing everyone aboard.

The only reason why Bethany and Beverly hadn't been with them was because they both were determined to go to MIT to study architecture. In fact, they were still in college there now, and they were roommates with Mia, who was a student at Harvard. She was following in Carrick Grey's footsteps, taking pre-law courses, and doing very well.

Of all of his siblings, Christian was closest to Mia and always had been, since the day Grace and Carrick had brought her home. For two years, from ages four to six, Christian had lived with his new family without speaking a word. Then, with baby Mia came his first word: Mee-ya. He'd loved her instantly, and she had been the only one able to really touch him... ever. He was also close to his other siblings, but not like with Mia. Elliot, the oldest, was now a successful business owner. Grey Construction was doing well. Also, after years of being a man-whore, he'd finally settled down and was now engaged to be married to the woman he claimed to be the love of his life, Katherine Kavanagh. Christian wasn't sure what he saw in her, but hey, to each their own. Elliot and Kate were even expecting a baby girl, due in the next month or two, and they both seemed incredibly happy, almost sickeningly so.

Christian's youngest siblings had come along when he was in high school. Elliot had been away at college at the time, and Mia had been a ten-year-old brat. The similarities between four-year-old Christian when Carrick and Grace had adopted him and his youngest siblings were uncanny. They had also been four years old, they had been abused and malnourished, and they had been orphaned by a single drug-addicted mother. This time, however, there were two of them: twins. Carson and Gabriela.

That had been a decade ago. Now, Elliot was a successful, engaged father-to-be; Mia had grown into a mature young woman who was determined to become as good a lawyer as their father; and Carson and Gabriela were fourteen-year-old terrors. Well, Gabby was sweet but spoiled. Carson was too much like Christian had been at the same age. A real handful. He hadn't been expelled from any schools yet, as Christian had been, but he seemed to be headed in that direction. Christian knew an intervention was in order, but he wasn't sure yet how to go about it.

Besides, Christian was busy ruling the world from his office on the 51st floor of Grey House, which was only a few blocks from the Mile High building, as he called it, even though it was not even close to one of the tallest buildings in Seattle. Neither of his buildings were in the runnings for the tallest, but both of them had a prominent place in the Seattle skyline. He'd purchased the Mile High building first, and for the first three years, GEH had operated out of it, but then he had Grey House built, and he used the Mile High building to generate more income. It wasn't like he needed extra income any longer, but he enjoyed having it. Besides, he could use the Mile High building to help out causes he believed in, like Coping Together, his mother's charity. It was not the only non-profit to enjoy free office space in his building. Also, Anastasia Steele didn't know it, but Bennington Steele Publishing House also had free office space because of the generosity of Christian Grey. Anastasia believed that B.B. paid the rent, but Christian and B.B. made an agreement when Bennington Steele was started that included free rent for the first five years. Once she started generating income, Anastasia paid rent to B.B., which she believed he was paying the owner. Little did she know, that money was actually being placed back into an account that would ultimately be returned to her, once the five-year agreement was complete. A year and a half into the deal, and Christian had no regrets. He was enjoying seeing the success of a new start-up, and he was enjoying watching Anastasia blossom even more.

Grey House itself was a masterpiece, designed and constructed by Elliot Grey himself and his team of designers and builders. At 51 stories, it was one of the grandest buildings in the city center, if not one of the tallest. What went on inside Grey House was even more masterful. It ran like a well-oiled machine. Christian had started out by buying out dying companies in the tech industry, but he'd expanded from that long ago, and now he had his hands in a lot of different pies, including everything from alternative energy sources to agriculture, and all of his operations were on a massive global scale. It seemed that Christian Grey had some kind of Midas touch. Everything he attempted seemed to succeed. When he'd dropped out of Harvard and started GEH, it had only taken him about a year to become a millionaire. A year and a half later, he had reached billionaire status. Now, he was one of the wealthiest men in the world.

The Mile High building was slightly taller than Grey House at 53 stories, but it had slightly less square footage. It was also a beautiful building, and very easily recognized, which is one reason so many lawyers and accountants wanted to rent space there. The adjacent parking structure, which was connected to the building by a catwalk, was an added bonus. In fact, Anastasia never dreamed of having such a nice space for her publishing house. She'd expected to start out with much more humble furnishings. Little did she know, Christian Grey made it his business to make sure she had the best of everything when she started out a year and a half ago.

On the 25th floor of the Mile High building, known to the general public as simply 200 Spring Street, Anastasia Steele ruled her own little world. Bennington Steele Publishing House was her life, and she had done a damn fine job making it a success in its first year and a half, if she did say so herself. She worked long hours, and she always knew exactly what was going on with each and every one of her employees. Everyone who worked for her loved her because of her kindness and her strong work ethic; she led by example. In the past year, Bennington Steele had published a couple of best sellers, and consequently, they'd gotten their name on the map. Anastasia had known she would have no trouble identifying the best sellers; she just needed an opportunity to prove herself. Now, she had.

"Lydia, where are you with the alternative lifestyles series?" Anastasia asked her Lifestyles editor. She was seated at the head of the table in the conference room of the executive suite. Gathered around the table were her eight managing editors. She had just lost her editor-in-chief, Maverick Conway, who had taken a job back east and left her a few days ago with very little notice. So she was filling the position herself until she could find a replacement. It meant double duty for her, but she really didn't mind. She loved her work.

If all went well, in the next three months, Anastasia would not only hire a replacement for Maverick, but she would also hire four additional managing editors, and then staff for each of them. She wanted to expand the operations of Bennington Steele, which is why she'd asked B.B. about the possibility of renting the floor above them, the 26th floor, which had been empty for as long as Bennington Steele had been in existence. In fact, there were several empty floors above them, and Ana had all kinds of bright ideas for how she could fill them. She wanted not only to run a successful publishing business, but she also wanted to provide jobs for people who wanted to work hard. She had been preparing for this work her entire life, and now that she was almost finished with her Executive MBA, which she'd been working on part time for over a year now, she believed she was in a better position than ever before to expand. She only hoped that B.B. agreed. As her financial partner, she needed his support to accomplish her dreams.

"Well, actually, I think I might have a manuscript worth taking a look at," Lydia answered Anastasia's question. "Sally just passed it on to me this morning, so I've only gotten through the first four chapters, but it looks promising. It's titled Memoir of a Submissive, and it's about the author's journey in a BDSM lifestyle. So far, it's really poignant and personal. She has a great writing style."

Anastasia kept a straight face. "That does sound promising," she responded impassively. "Could you send it to me as soon as we finish here? I'd like to take a look." She knew she wouldn't have a chance to look at it until later tonight, but since it was almost 5 p.m. already, that would only be three or four hours from now. Normally, she would wait until her managing editors were more firm about their decisions on publishable manuscripts, but for reasons she would never share with any of her employees, this one caught her attention, and she didn't want to wait to read it.

She didn't leave work until after 6, and then she met her best friend Jose for dinner. His husband B.B. had a work engagement, and Jose had just returned from a business trip. His work as a travel photographer took him all over the world.

"You'll never believe what the title is of the manuscript I just started reading this evening," Anastasia told Jose nonchalantly as they shared a serving of tiramisu.

Jose studied her face, pretending that he was thinking hard about it. "Hmm... One hundred ways to kill your fiance's ex-mother-in-law's pet poodle," he answered randomly while his mouth was full of tiramisu.

Anastasia snorted, something she only did when she was hanging out with her best friend and he did or said something ridiculous. "Not even close. Nothing as gory as killing anyone's pet. Think... lifestyle." She smiled a secret smile.

"What... you mean... our lifestyle?" he asked.

Anastasia nodded and answered, "Yep."

"One hundred ways to please your Dom?" he asked jokingly, raising his eyebrows.

Anastasia laughed. "No, but close. Memoir of a Submissive."

Jose had been taking a sip of coffee, which he proceeded to snort through his nose. "Oh, shit! That hurt!" he cried. There were tears in his eyes, but he was laughing hard. "Are you serious? That's really the name of it?"

"I kid you not," Anastasia answered. "And so far, what I've read is pretty good. But that's only the first two pages, so don't get too excited yet."

"Wow! I could have written that book," Jose said, sounded slightly dejected.

"Well, if this one turns out to be crap, you still could," Anastasia suggested.

"So could you, girl," Jose responded.

Anastasia shook her head. "No... not yet, but maybe someday. I've never even had a Dom."

"B.B.'s your Dom," Jose argued.

"No, B.B.'s your Dom," Anastasia argued. "He's not really a Dom unless he fucks you. Hard. B.B. will never fuck me, so he's not my Dom. He's never referred to himself as my Dom, only as my protector and trainer. There's a big difference."

Jose studied her face again, this time seriously. "Are you ready, Ana? Because you sure as hell sound ready."

"I'm ready, Jose," Anastasia answered. She took another bite of tiramisu thoughtfully. "The way I see it, it's been more than ten months, so I've completed my gestation period. I'm ready to be... born, in a matter of speaking. Just last Friday, I begged B.B... again... to let me present myself to the Grey Wolf. And he refused... again. I get that I wasn't ready... the first six times I asked him. But now... I'm tired of watching other people fuck and never getting off."

"I beg your pardon," Jose said, faking offense. "I get you off all the time."

"Yeah, with a vibrator," she snorted. "It's not the same, and you know it. I want to be fucked by a real Dom. I want to be fucked by the Grey Wolf."

"Ana..." Jose said carefully. "It's the Grey Wolf. I know he's hot as hell. But... he only gets his subs from Madame Elena. Don't you think that's a little... odd?"

"Yes, I agree. But what if he were willing to take on another sub that he didn't get through that bitch? I know you've noticed how he looks at me. You're the one who made me aware of it in the first place."

"I did," Jose conceded. "And I mentioned it to B.B. He's aware of it."

"What does that mean?" Anastasia asked.

"It means he doesn't want me to mention it again," Jose explained. "If I do, he'll probably punish me."

"Why? I don't get it. Why does the Grey Wolf act like he wants me, but he never talks to me? Why does he look at me like he wants to devour me, but then he doesn't even get close to me?"

"Probably because B.B. would kick his ass if he did," Jose replied. "He can't get close to you without B.B.'s permission. You know that's how it works."

"But B.B. knows I want him, so why doesn't he give permission?" Anastasia asked.

"I'm sure he has a good reason," Jose answered. "He always does. You know that too."

"Yes, I know," Anastasia agreed. "It's just... there's nobody else at Down Under that interests me. And I really want a Dom. I'm more than ready, Jose."

Anastasia and Jose were referring, of course, to the same BDSM club that was owned by B.B. and Beatrice Bennington, although neither Anastasia nor Jose knew that Christian Grey was the third owner. Becoming a member was a tedious process which took about a month and included everything from a very thorough security background check to a full medical report performed only by a physician approved by the owners of the club.

Anastasia had been a member of Down Under for over ten months now, and for that entire time, she had been under the protection of Jose's Dom, his husband B.B., who had also become one of Anastasia's closest friends. Although she wasn't attracted to him physically, Anastasia thought that B.B. was gorgeous. The biracial 26 year old was tall and bald, but he made up for his lack of hair on his head by a goatee that he'd sported since his late teens, giving him a bit of a devilish appearance. He was no devil though, not to Anastasia or Jose. To Anastasia, he was an angel. To Jose, he was the love of his life. Jose had met him while on a trip to Amsterdam, when they had taken the same flight out of SeaTac and sat next to each other. They'd ended up sharing a hotel room in Amsterdam, and they'd been together ever since. Shortly after they returned to Seattle from their business trip, B.B. collared Jose. Then, a little over a year ago, they were married in a beautiful ceremony for which Anastasia was Jose's Maid of Honor.

Anastasia always made it a point to respect Jose and B.B.'s private time together, so she hesitated before she called B.B. later that night... or actually early the next morning. However, she felt that the matter was urgent, and she could not let it rest. When she'd gotten home from her dinner with Jose, she'd continued reading the manuscript of Memoir of a Submissive, and what she'd learned had made her blood run cold. She was so shocked that she needed a couple of hours just to process what she'd read. By then, it was already 3 a.m. She considered waiting until morning to bother B.B., but she knew that he sometimes had early morning appointments, and if he were busy, he might miss her call. This could not wait.

Meanwhile, in the penthouse of Escala, Christian Grey was once again unable to sleep. He'd had another nightmare, which in an of itself was a very common experience. This time, however, a pair of ocean blue eyes haunted him, begging him not to hurt her. In his dream, he'd beat the shit out of her, even after she'd begged him not to hurt her. He'd made her cry, which in turn brought tears to his own eyes. When he'd awakened from the dream, his eyes had been wet, so he'd actually cried real tears. The dream confused the fuck out of him. He made his subs cry all the time, and it had never bothered him before, but causing Anastasia to cry even in a dream just about ripped the heart he didn't have out of his chest. The most painful part of the dream had been when she'd walked out the door. Somehow, he knew she was leaving him and didn't plan to come back. With all of his other subs, they were free to leave anytime they wanted to, and he never considered allowing them to come back after they'd ended a contract with him. But as he watched Anastasia leave, just before he'd awakened, all he could think about was how to get her back.

He got out of bed, his mind still reeling and his heart still aching. Anastasia wasn't even his, but he felt like crying like a little girl because it felt like she'd been his and he'd lost her. Damn, what a dream! He wasn't sure what was worse, this dream that he'd never had before, or the dreams he usually had, which were memories of the pimp burning him, and of the crack whore laughing about it.

As usual, he made his way to his piano and played for a while. As was his habit, he'd taken his cell phone with him. He wasn't sure why he did that; it wasn't like anyone was going to call him in the middle of the night. Just as that thought entered his mind, just as he'd glanced at his cell phone, it began to ring. Holy shit, why was B.B. calling him in the middle of the night? Something must be wrong with him or Jose.

"Grey," he answered, just as he always did.

"We need to talk, bro," B.B. said. "You have time for breakfast in the morning?"

"Bear, what's wrong?" Christian asked. "Is it Jose? Are you guys OK?"

"We're fine," B.B. assured him. "This isn't about us. It's about you."

Christian was confused. "What about me?"

"I just got off the phone with Anastasia. She knows who you are."

That didn't clear up Christian's confusion at all. "What do you mean? She knows who I am, yes. She interviewed me, remember, just before...?"

"That's not what I mean," B.B. interrupted. "Anastasia knows that you're the Grey Wolf. She's reading a manuscript, and it revealed everything about you."

"What?!" Christian shouted, feeling alarmed.

"It's called Memoir of a Submissive. The author, apparently, is Leila Williams. Remember her?"

"Oh, shit!" Christian exclaimed.