New story! I've been waiting to write this for a LONG time! and I've finally decided to do it! This is actually going to be a little longer than the one chapter story I thought it would be, but not too much longer I don't think (probably no more than 5 chapters). Let me know what you guys think!

Happy Reading!

Chapter 1

Through the door to their bedroom, he could hear her. Through the Force, he could feel her and see the thoughts that raced through her mind as she brought herself pleasure. Him. Her thoughts were always about him— about the man he used to be. Anakin clenched his fists as he felt himself grow hard at the sound of her voice gasping his name. Memories flashed of his head buried between her legs, pleasuring her with his tongue. If he focused, he swears he can still taste her on his tongue. It has been far too long since he has joined his wife in bed. Not that he didn't want to, he would give anything to share her bed again even just to simply sleep beside her and feel the warmth of her body against his.

But he couldn't. The hyperbaric chamber he slept in at night ran diagnostics on his life support system. It looked at every inch of the mechanism to make sure it was working properly. And if it wasn't, it provided a readout that he could then give to the medical droid who could perform the necessary repairs. Rarely have problems ever arisen with this particular model of his life support but that's not to say it won't ever happen.

Padme let out a loud, pleasured sound as she seemed to be close to completion. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be listening to her now. He'd told her that morning that he would take the kids back across the lake so they could go to school and then after he would stop by a small parts dealer for some parts for a little project he was working on. Unfortunately, that shop didn't have the right model he was looking for and he decided to come home early. He should have stayed in the market just for a little while longer. He should have commed her to let her know he was coming home.

But he didn't. And she still didn't know he was standing outside of the bedroom door, tormented by the feelings of lust and love they both had for one another but would never be able to sate. Anakin clenched his eyes shut as his wife cried out his name as waves of pleasure rippled off of her in the Force. His cock was strained painfully against the front of his pants. He should go before she left the room. He shouldn't let her know that he heard her. It would just make things uncomfortable for the both of them. She would feel guilty for stirring up tension, and he already felt inadequate to be her husband. What kind of man can't pleasure their wife? Stepping back quietly, Anakin made his way to the medical room. A long soak in bacta and a little meditation would help him at least calm down. It did nothing to alleviate the pressure and his desire for release, but it was all he had at the moment.

Safe behind the locked door of the medical room, he felt the moment Padme left the bedroom presumably to go about her other daily tasks and hobbies she did while the twins were at school. She would know he was home soon enough, but she probably wouldn't realize how long he had really been home and that helped ease a small bit of the tension he felt in his back. Slowly, he stripped out of his clothes and moved towards a small circular platform situated just below an array of skeletal arms. Anakin disconnected his respirator and replaced it with the larger, more clinical mask used in the bacta tank. Stepping onto the platform his weight triggered the illuminated ring around the platform to glow brightly as the machines slowly came to life. Air started to flow through the mask as the lights in the bacta tank activated and slowly started to bubble in preparation for him. The arms started to move, stretching out and flexing their joints. One arm gripped around his waist tightly, the cold metal sending a chill down his spine as it slowly lifted him a few feet off the ground. One by one, more arms attached themselves to him, taking hold of his cybernetic limbs and severing the connections to his nerves before separating them from his body. A synthleather harness wrapped around his chest and shoulders, securing him before all the arms pulled back from him. The arm holding the harness slowly raised him higher and swiveled until he was hanging over the fully prepped bacta tank, lowering him into the liquid that he sometimes doubted was actually doing much to heal his scars.

Anakin let himself drift into a hazy meditation, seeking to find some semblance of peace in his chaotic mind. He had come to terms with his past actions long ago, yet the scars of the night of the Jedi Purges still weighed heavy on his soul. Try as he might, there were still times he felt the Dark Side call to him, tempt him with promises of untapped powers that could give him back what he had lost. But he knew the price he would pay this time. He would lose Padme. He would lose his children. Nothing was worth that. But still it called to him, feeding on his insecurities and the scars left by Mustafar. As Darth Vader, it had been rumored he was more a machine than a man. And they had never felt more true than the first day he kissed his wife after being reunited with her. They both wanted more, wanted to relive some of their more intimate moments, share in the love between husband and wife. But he couldn't. And the shame he felt, the sympathy his wife tried to show him… did little to heal the wound to his male pride. In the time since then, he had gotten used to their simple life. The love between them remained but the passion quelled.

It helped having the kids. They had a power over him he couldn't possibly explain if he tried. His love for them was instantaneous from the moment he first saw them— even from the moment he found out Padme was pregnant. Their children meant everything to him and there was nothing he wouldn't do for their happiness. But he knew there were times he was letting them down. Trips to Theed to visit with his wife's family, he would miss. Uncomfortable with the silent way her parent's regarded him with resentment, he knew they didn't agree with Padme taking him back. And he didn't want to be the cause of a fight between her and her family again. Luke and Leia were getting to the age where their interests were starting to grow more and more varied. Leia was a natural in debates, and Luke was a silent genius with robotics. Competitions and functions hosted at school were becoming more frequent as his children started to branch out. But every time they would look out into the crowd of parents, they knew they wouldn't see him.

Things with his wife weren't any better. After the kids had gone to school when it was just him and his wife… there were times things just felt tense. The days he had to go and see a physician to run tests or assess his health, he knew Padme wanted to ask him about them, but at the same time, she didn't want to know. She always hated seeing him hurt. And seeing him as he is now, he knows it's harder than she lets on. The sexual frustration didn't help matters. Early in their marriage, they had always talked about one day having children. They had dreamed of having many children, having the halls of their beautiful lake house always filled with the laughter and tiny voices of children. With only Luke and Leia, there were days the large house felt empty. And it was his fault. Even now his family is still paying the price for his mistakes.

The glass around the bacta tank shook as his fists clenched and the monitor tracking his vitals started to beep erratically. The safety protocol kicked in, and the skeletal arms started to move once again, taking hold of the harness around his body and lifting him from the tank. His cybernetic arms and legs were reattached before he was lowered back onto the circular platform. Bacta dripped from his body as he let himself fall to his knees, unable to balance on his legs when they are reattached. Breathing in deep through the mask, he slowly started to flex his limbs, retesting the nerve connections and tactile sensors. Slowly he brought his hand to his mask and pulled it up and over his head and letting it drop to the floor.

Anakin took a few strained breathes as he tried not for the first time to breathe without assistance. He knew it would fail. But he had to try. Only when he felt he was on the verge of suffocating did he stumble forward to grab his respirator and press it firmly to his face as he breathed in the filtered air. Shuffling towards the bacta tank, he leaned his back against the cool glass, running a wet hand over his face and bald head.

His life was Hell. But that didn't mean his family's had to be. He was tired of it all, tired of feeling like he was failing or that everything bad was his fault. His children deserved a father who would be at every special event in their lives— school recitals, sports, parent-teacher conferences… he would be there. His wife deserved to be treated like the Queen she is every night. She deserved that large family she wanted and he would find a way to give it to her even if it killed him.

Hint Hint! Smut in the next chapter!