Chapter 1 – Potts and Plans

Jeremy and Jemima Potts sprang out of bed early in the morning and ran downstairs, following the smell of breakfast. Their grandfather was at the table, smoking his pipe and talking to Caracticus, their father, who was supervising his breakfast assembly machine, which did not always behave itself unless, for some reason, someone was directly looking at it. A third person occupied a space at the table, though momentarily hidden behind the spread of a newspaper.

"Okay, I think we've got this thing working now," Caracticus said. "Julian? How many eggs do you want?"

Resting his paper down on the edge of the table, a man with long, black hair and a peculiar, long nose replied in his lilting, but nasally voice, "Two, please. Over easy, medium." Taking a sip of his coffee, he noticed the children. "Ah, it looks like the kiddiewinkies decided to join us."

"Julian?" they inquired with excitement. He was dressed mostly in black, as they were used to seeing him in the brief time they knew him, all except for the pastel purple shirt with the sleeves rolled up he was wearing under his button-down vest.

"Got in last night while you were asleep," Caracticus explained. "He and Gina are staying with us for the wedding."

Jemima and Jeremy cheered.

"Where's Gina?" Jemima asked.

"Still abed," Julian said. "She likes her sleep. Like a cat. She likes to nap, likes to eat, likes to be stroked... Perhaps I should go nuzzle her awake?" He tapped the side of his long nose with a smile of self-jest. After Jeremy and Jemima giggled, he added, "Always a crowd-pleaser."

Julian made his way spritely up the stairs to where his darling Gina still laid, curled up among she blankets and pillows, looking as though she were still deep in sleep. He crept over to the bed, carefully leaned down, and brushed the inside of her ear with the tip of his nose. When Gina stirred, he cooed, "Good morning, my little edelweiss."

Gina rolled over with a hazy smile. "Mmmm, good morning, my confection perfection." Rolling towards him just a little more, she pressed her lips into his. She reached up underneath that silky black hair she loved to touch.

"Breakfast is being made," he said in the same high coo, between kisses.

"I don't need breakfast," she sighed. "I've got your sweet lips. Mmm…coffee."

"How am I going to show you off if you stay in bed all day?"

"What time is it?"

"Seven thirty."

"What?" she squeaked. "You call that 'staying in bed all day'?"

"Well, Caracticus is making breakfast right now. We don't want you to miss it."

"Okay, okay."

Julian returned downstairs and put in Gina's breakfast order. Shortly, she joined them, dressed, and received a motley greeting from everyone. She took her reserved seat at the table between Julian and Jemima, where she began making milk and sugar adjustments to her coffee as she waited for her eggs, sausage, and toast. As she stirred her coffee into perfection, she eyed Julian's paper. She folded the top corner over so she could see the title.

"The Vulgarian Herald?" she grimaced. "Nothing happens in Vulgaria. This thing should be blank."

Julian gave her a bland, sarcastic look. "There's plenty to talk about in Vulgaria, thank you very much. Granted, things are rather particularly dour around the castle village, but I should take you to the outer villages sometime. We've got plenty of arts and culture and travel reports. Just not politics or economics. The Baron killed our trade agreements and politics, which we don't talk about unless you want your head on display at the gates of your town."

"Where's the kid section?" she jested, sticking her head right in the middle.

Julian playfully closed the paper over her face, briefly. "Very funny."

Grinning, Gina pulled her head back out of the paper. "No political cartoons, either?"

Being jokingly casual, Julian sighed, "Well, after our first few satirists under Bomburst were killed, no one else wanted to step up. A shame, really. I love a good joke."

"Ah, that Bomburst fellow," Grandpa Potts grunted. "Quite cantankerous, if y'ask me. He wouldn't light your pipe if his ass were on fire."

"Grandpa," Caracticus lightly scolded as he lowered the plate track to the table. He then took the seat between it and his father. "The children."

"Well, you met the man, Caracticus. So did they."

Julian agreed with an ironic smile, "You met him, I worked for him."

"Could we keep the table conversation clean, please?" Caracticus said. "We're about to invite Truly into our family. She's a real lady. She's not going to have that kind of talk around the house."

Much to Julian and Gina's amazement, their complete breakfast came rolling down the track and onto the table.

"You're quite the genius, Mr. Potts," Julian marveled calmly. "No wonder the Baron sought after you."

"Well, thank you, Julian. I've always got something cooking in my head. This thing here being the first one that cooks."

"What about the toot sweet machine, Daddy?" Jemima said.

"Oh, that's right. Well, we're not going to be making those in the shed anymore. Truly's dad is going to make tons more of them in his big, ole factory." After a few bites of toast and sausage, Caracticus asked the couple, "How are things in Vulgaria?"

"Happiest place on earth," Gina replied with humor.

"Uh-huh!" Julian scoffed with an eye roll. "So you say, with the villagers throwing their garbage at both of us."

Gina sighed.

Caracticus gaped at them. "What? Throw garbage at you? But you freed their children."

"They still don't trust the former Child Catcher," Gina thumbed. "The children do. I'm kind of surprised that they haven't held a grudge, even with what brief influence I had on them on Julian's behalf. But their parents are not so convinced. I live in the castle now, but still visit my grandfather and the children to maintain a positive community presence. Julian gets the worst of it, but I get my share of dirty looks and, on occasion, a long-range attack with rotten produce. The brave ones will try to spit on me."

"Outrageous," Julian grunted. "After what you sacrificed for their children." Giving her a doleful look and a tender scratch on the back, he added, "A situation I helped cause."

Gina returned his compassion with a similar scratch on his leg. To the table, she said, "You can reverse injustice, but you can't blame ungratefulness on the Bombursts."

"Darn right," Caracticus agreed. "I understand how they might be a little cautious around Julian, but to display that kind of boorishness when he's trying to fix things sounds unreasonable. What do they want? And you, too, Gina? What crime have you committed that they hate as much as Julian's?"

Gina pointed to Julian. "Julian. Remember, they had placed their trust in me to tutor their children in hiding and Julian's ostentatious attempts to court me really set them on edge. Grandpa even finally got on board with it and told them it was in their best interest for the court of Bomburst to be showering me in such favor. But, nooo. Now that we're openly a couple, thinking we're safe because the children are free, I get to share in his criminal reputation, as if I betrayed them. Uh, the very fact that I agreed to date Julian is why their kids are free and safe. Notwithstanding that it was for the better to remove his superiors, with your help – so, thank you – Julian, as you know, chose to give up his Catcher profession when he realized he had to make a choice between it and my life. The power of kisses and nose massages won the victory, here."

Julian nudged her knee with his own under the table. With a slight, bashful smile, he said, "Come, come, that's personal, darling."

"I'm telling them about your chu-chi-woo-chi priorities." Poking Julian repeatedly in the shoulder with her finger, she said to the table, "He is a snuggler, this one. Not so much with the children yet, but there are moments. Julian has bravely been reintegrating into society by using his gifts to genuinely entertain them, without trying to trick them. And they've taken very well to that. Julian won't admit it, but he's a natural with them. Always has been, it's just that he's used it for ill intent in the past. Now that they don't feel threatened by him, he's a regular Pied Piper. And I'm sure their parents hate the crap out of that. Some of them will choose that time to 'show their appreciation' with, like I said, airborne rotten veggies or whatever else they have on hand." Gina grinned suddenly and flicked Julian's shoulder. "But, hey, that's showbiz, right?"

"Not for my act being poor, though, as the cliché would suggest."

"Depends on which act you're talking about."

While Caracticus and Grandpa Potts chuckled, Julian said, "Touché. Then, it's retroactive disapproval."

"What do the children do when that happens?" Caracticus asked.

"Gina is always there to set the tone," Julian said. "Sometimes, her grandfather. They maintain an atmosphere of peace with a firm hand and are quick to point out right from wrong." Then, he smiled. "But, I have taken to making the projectiles part of the show, much to the delight of the children and the distress of the rebels. I once took up a head of lettuce and rotten tomato I had just been hit with and added them to the props I was currently juggling."

All at the table laughed.

"Although," Julian added, "getting socially spanked like that doesn't seem to abate the flow of assault."

"It makes them more determined," Gina snickered.

"Sounds like a lot of drama," Caracticus said.

"True enough. But, I've received premonition in my dreams that Vulgaria is going to be revitalized. And that Julian is going to one day be a beloved and respected figure in the community. That is a possible reality that God showed me and Julian and Grandpa and I are running towards that every day. We'd love to have you all consider us as a vacation destination sometime."

"Perhaps by Christmas," Julian added.

"Ooh, Christmas at a castle, kids," Caracticus turned to his children.

Jeremy and Jemima responded with anticipation.

"Speaking of travels," Caracticus announced, "Tomorrow, I'd like us all to take a little road trip into London. I have a twin brother there that I'd like to invite to the wedding."

"Can you not just write to him?" Gina asked.

"Well, he runs here and there. Never quite sure where he is, except that he stays in London."

"Then, how do you know you can find him?" Julian asked.

"The folks out there know him well. He's a man of odd jobs. Sort of runs in the family."

Julian twitched one eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Sounds like fun," Gina said.

"Yay! We're going to London!" Jeremy celebrated.

"We leave first thing in the morning," Caracticus said. "So, don't stay up too late listening to Grandpa."

After breakfast, the children were eager to show Julian the toot sweet machine in the work shed where their father housed and worked on all his inventions.

Julian examined the miniature-flute-like candy and then put one end in his mouth and pushed a little air through it. The taste was delightful enough. Julian, being the performer he was, tried producing different notes by covering one of the holes at a time. "No…it's a harmonica…" He put the entire thing in his mouth, save for one end for the sound to be heard and covered one hole at a time with his tongue as he breathed through it. "Fife minesh of fun," he said, "jen ish shtarts to melt." Julian swallowed back the saliva that was building around the toot sweet that was simply sitting in his mouth.

Starting to lose part of his instrument, Julian resorted to amusing Gina the kids by using the whistle as to express tone of voice, such as confusion, inspiration, joy, and sadness—and attraction to Gina—as he mimed out various scenarios that fit. So, then, Jeremy and Jemima each grabbed a toot sweet off the machine and attempted to do the same.

Then, Julian spotted a large butterfly net on the wall and did a comedic double take, with a whistle of awe. Making joyful toots, Julian pranced over to the wall and took the net in hand, smiling slyly and stroking the handle as if it was a beloved pet. He looked to the children and pointed between the net and himself with quizzical peeps.

Jeremy and Jemima blew through their toot sweets as hard as they could to imitate screaming.

Julian knit his brow and tooted some indignant confusion. Then, he turned his head a quarter turn and squinted sidelong at them, creeping towards them, clawing the air with the net, and making warning toots.

Jemima and Jeremy scattered like ants that had been blown on, making all manner of noise on their whistles.

"Now look what you've done," Gina smiled.

Julian batted a hand, making dismissive sounds. Then, his eyes widened as he looked her over, as if he were seeing her for the first time. He made the equivalent of cat calls through his dissolving toot sweet and lowered the net over Gina's head and shoulders. Making seductive sounds, he slowly pulled her close to him. Gina was chuckling.

Just then, Julian felt a shove in his posterior and turned around sharply, with a whistle to match.

Still peeping like birds, Jemima and Jeremy were behind him, Jeremy with a broom. Julian scolded them in whistle, pawing in the air with one hand as if he could grab them. The children's whistling was choppy with their own laughter, their grins almost causing their treats to fall out of their mouths.

Finally losing his toot sweet to his saliva, Julian dissolved and swallowed the rest of it, allowing his sore, puckered lips to rest.

The lot walked back to the main house from the shed.

Jemima ran ahead of them. "Daddy! Julian can play the toot sweets!"

"Can he?" Caracticus' voice was faint from the open door. "Why am I not surprised?"

Then, Julian spotted Mr. Potts Sr. reclining in a lawn chair in the grass. "Now, that fellow has the right idea…" He, too, acquired a similar chair and joined the man in sunshine-filled repose. The old man said nothing of Julian's presence and may well have been asleep. It was hard to tell with his pith helmet covering his eyes. But, in a few minutes, a small hand holding a toot sweet rushed in front of his face. Julian turned his head sharply to see Jeremy standing over him. "Ugh. Jeremy, for Heaven's sake. I haven't had time to rest my mouth. I'm all tooted out. I'm going to relax right now." He fluttered a hand dismissively.

"Alright," Jeremy sighed and walked away. On an afterthought, he turned around and asked, "How long are you going to be resting?"

But Julian replied with a slow, building growl that caused Jeremy to scamper off.

A few minutes later, Julian was visited with another interruption, but this time it was a beautiful, feminine hand holding a glass of clear liquid, ice, and mint leaves. "Oh, thank you, love." He put the cool, sweet mixture of bourbon whiskey, sugar, and mint to his lips.

Gina watched with some amusement as Julian's long nose unavoidably submerged within the wide glass. "To cleanse your palate," she teased. "And ease the nerves."

"Indeed," Julian said.

Gina giggled to see a leaf of mint had stuck to the end of Julian's nose. She pointed to the place on her own nose, giving him a clue.

Julian wiped off the leaf with the tip of a finger. Seeing it, he rolled his eyes and then deposited it to his mouth.

Gina raised her glass to his and they shared a toast.