A/N: Avengers Infinity War messed me up pretty badly. I'm trying to cope until part 2 comes out. I know many others are doing the same thing, too.

There might be more chapters if I have the time and inspiration to write.

Losers

Pain. They didn't know if what they were feeling could be called pain anymore. At some point, it became too much. Their hearts were stabbed through repeatedly, ripped out of their chests, stepped on, brutally crushed… Their brains burnt hot with the agony of guilt, sorrow and haunting memories. And now… it was cold. Desperation filled every pore, sadness so great, so terrible that it was just this… numbness that overtook their bodies.

"What are you two idiots doing here? This hole of misery is taken. Find somewhere else."

Steve and Thor didn't hear the small raccoon coming, but they were too tired to react. Despite his words, Rocket sat down between the two big humies, ringed tail poking Steve in the thigh.

"Wanna keep this?" Small furry paws holding a big black gun out to the soldier.

Steve just blinked. Bucky. His best friend, his comrade, his brother in everything but blood… The person who always knew how to make his life better back in the day. Also the person who knew exactly how to destroy him. The sound of Bucky's screams all the way down from the train still haunted Steve. And now, with his flawless memory, the sight of Bucky turning into dust had carved itself into his mind.

"If you like it, it's yours," Steve said quietly. "I can't… I don't know what to do with it."

Silence.

"…are you two gonna sit here all night and whimper?" Rocket scratched his nose. Loudly.

"No-one's making any noise except you, Rabbit." Thor's deep voice rang through the night, somehow sounding quiet.

"You just did, Thunder guy."

"Guys, let's just… not." Steve pinched his nose and sighed.

Silence.

Thor caressed Stormbreaker, little sparks of lightning on the tip of his fingers danced into the air.

"I should have gone for the head." A bitter smile graced the god's face. "A thousand years of blood and battle. All those wars. And I still can't kill properly."

"It's not your fault, Thor." Steve immediately said.

"It's how I feel." A strong wind swept through the grass, the field of Wakanda they were sitting in was beautiful under the stars, but all they saw was darkness and despair. "I should have known. I should have prepared."

"No-one could have prepared for this. The stones, Thanos." Steve shook his head. "I really miss the time when the freakiest thing on Earth was me."

Technology. Gods. Aliens. Magical stones which enabled genocide on a universal level. Sometimes, the World War II veteran wished he would open his eyes and still see today's newspaper with headlines about Hitler's new act of crime against humanity.

"You look normal, ain't nothing freaky about you." Right, and a talking raccoon.

"I'm a science experiment."

"Seriously?" Rocket's eyes widened. "You and me both, pal."

Steve flinched. Bucky used to call him that.

"Hey Thor, were you cut open and played with in the past, too? Because that would make three of us the same kind of losers." The raccoon poked Thor in the muscles curiously.

"No Rabbit, I wasn't. Still a loser though. Lost my parents, lost my hammer, my eye, my planet, my people, and my brother again. Hope you'll never join my kind of loser." Thor kept smiling like he had finally lost his mind, too. But then, what could he do? He could not cry.

"Eh, at least you lost everything before Thanos snapped his fingers. I don't even know what I just lost. Watching Groot die again almost makes me wish I never had him back in the first place."

"Don't say that Rabbit. Time with loved ones is always precious, no matter how little. Talking to Loki again after his first and second death was painful, but at least I had more time." Thor unconsciously rubbed the spot where his brother stabbed him after pretending to be a snake centuries ago.

Suddenly, Steve burst into a hysterical laugh, hugging his stomach like he was shot in the gut.

"Hey, you okay? Are you dying?" Rocket poked Steve with a gun in concern, inching away a bit like he was afraid whatever the soldier caught was contagious.

"Oh, god… We are the same kind of losers after all." His laugh died down, his gut hurt, but no tears.

Silence.

"I saw Bucky die before. Seeing it again… hurts more than last time. After everything he's been through, only to die again." Steve reached out to touch the gun in Rocket's lap. "All those battles I've fought… yet I'm still not used to seeing death. It won't stop hurting, will it Thor?"

"No. The moment it stops… is when you die. Or when you become a monster like Thanos." But they didn't know about the poor green woman lying in the snow of Vormir.

"Where can we find some alcohol on this miserable planet? Quill always…" At his friend's name, the raccoon stopped short. Was Quill still alive after the snap? He was afraid of the answer. Born to do complicated calculations and solve mechanical problems, Rocket had no difficulty knowing that there was a high chance most of his crew… his family was gone. Each of them came from a different race, and half of every race was eradicated.

"There's not enough alcohol in the universe to deal with this…" Steve mumbled softly.

"And the alcohol of Midgard is weak anyway."

Silence.

"How do we move on from this?" Rocket used his hands to beat up grass. "Quill… Quill would probably come up with a stupid plan for time like this. Or 12% of a plan."

"We don't." Steve stated like it was a fact. It was. "There must be a way to fix this. We'll find it."

"You sound so sure. This is not the Chitauri or Ultron, Captain."

"I can't think of anything better to do." Steve shrugged. He finally made peace with his existence. He was born to fight. So fight he would. "The stones took them away. The stones should be able to bring them back."

"Last time we went after an Infinity Stone, I lost Groot." Rocket shouted.

"Last time I was near the space stone, I lost my brother. When I got involved with the Aether, I lost my mother." Thor calmly replied. "The stones took many things from us, Rabbit. I think what the Captain said makes sense. There is a possibility we can use the stones to undo this atrocity Thanos has brought."

"I barely know anything about stones, though. It was just a… guess." Steve felt… something, definitely not hope, when the idea came to him. At least he had an idea, still better than nothing.

Silence

"Well, some asshole explained those rocks to me a while ago when we were hunting the power stone, but I ain't telling you morons anything until you all get some rest." Rocket said forcefully cheerfully. "Get your asses back to that fancy palace and I'll tell you in the morning."

"You should do that, too… um… Rocket." Steve stood up, looking down at the small animal… No, person. He talked, he thought, he felt, so he was a person.

"Yeah, yeah, thought I'lltrack down a raccoon and see what's all the fuss about. Quill calls me one, so I have to prove him wrong."

"I thought you're a rabbit."

"Don't know what that is, either, but I track that down, too."

For a second, Steve felt like he was back at the Avengers compound in one of those mornings when Tony actually joined the team for breakfast. The bickering, the jokes, the lightheartedness. The warmth. And it hurt. Steve did what he usually ended up doing in those mornings.

"Guys, let's just head back together, alright? In the morning I'll ask Princess… (the thought of T'Challa made Steve feel like something got stuck in his throat) or Queen Shuri to show you pictures of rabbits and raccoons, and we'll work everything out. Together."

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Please leave me a comment.