Hellooo. Second attempt at an Avengers story.

Here's the rundown of everything. This story is following no specific MCU timeline; it's really up to you to decide. Tony and Steve are cool with each other for the most part. It will have references to most of the character movies- ie Ironman, Captain America, Spiderman- in no particular order. It will have no determinable spoilers to Infinity War, a reference or line from the movie here or there but you shouldn't know it unless you've seen the movie. BUT for the most part it's just gonna be a silly story with silly things.

I dunno I just want a story where everyone's together and happy for once in their lives.

Hope you enjoy!

It was supposed to be a relatively simple mission, which was the only reason Peter had been allowed to join them. It didn't annoy him as much as it first did; having to get approval to join the others on missions. After a relatively bad fight that almost left him blind though, he finally agreed with the others, mainly Tony, that he should probably do more less dangerous missions before going straight to the top. That's why he was going along on the intel run. Get in, get the data, get out. Simple. There were guards around that needed to be dealt with, of course. It was a simple task but not that simple.

Peter had cleared his floor of guards and begun looking through the now empty rooms for any sort of computer he could plug into. The team had been instructed to retrieve a copy of any files they found then destroy the system which, again, was supposed to be easy but the compound had at least a dozen floors with dozens of rooms on them with only one computer that was seemingly moved every single day with no pattern. The team had seen fit to split up and have one person search each floor until they found what they needed, but so far it was looking bleak. Peter was on the eighth floor and they still hadn't found anything but they hadn't managed to set off any alarms either.

"How's everyone doing so far? Anything?" Captain America's voice sounded through his comm.

"Bottom three floors are clear." Natasha's voice answered. She must have met up with Wanda and Clint.

"Ten and eleven turned up empty." Tony answered.

"Four didn't have anything." Barnes answered with a huff.

"I didn't get anything on ten either." Steve sighed. "How we doing on security Bruce?"

"You guys are still in the timeframe." Bruce answered from his seat on the Quinjet that was a few miles away. "They're going to change the guard in about forty-five minutes. I can't believe this place. You guys have done a good job of not alerting anything."

"How about you Spider-Man? Any luck?"

Peter sighed as he closed another empty room. "Nothing so far Cap. Has anyone thought to check the basement? I mean if I wanted to hide a computer with top secret plans on it I'd definitely put it in the basement. But then again I'd probably think that's the first place someone would go to check on it if someone was doing something like we were right now so maybe it's on like the top floor. Or maybe it is in the basement because it's the most obviously place to put it and since it gets over looked-"

"This place doesn't have a basement Peter." Bruce said.

"Really? What kind of evil organization place doesn't even have a basement?"

"This one kid." Tony answered. "Now keep looking and keep your mouth shut."

"I'm just saying Mr. Stark," he stated as he opened another room. "All the other places we've been to have had basements so I was-"

"What's the matter son?" Steve asked at his sudden silence.

"Found it." He almost jumped for joy at the sight of the computer in front of him. "Level eight, room five."

"Good job kid."

"Okay. Nat, you, Clint, Buck, and Wanda head out through the main entrance. We'll go out the top as soon as we're done. Peter, get started on extracting the data. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Peter silently closed the door and sat at the desk. The computer was relatively old: bulky tower and tiny monitor that looked like it was still running Windows Vista. At least the tower had a USB port instead of a floppy drive. It took seconds for him to get in and find the files, the thing didn't even have a password for God's sake.

"How long until file extraction?" Steve asked.

"Not sure." He answered. "This thing is cryptic. It's like it's on dialup. They're still using Internet Explorer and have Bing as their search engine. Bing!"

"Focus Underoos." Tony called.

"Four minutes for extraction."

"You're still good on time." Bruce chimed in. "Thirty-nine minutes until they change."

"Piece of cake." Peter said as he crossed his legs over the table and waited for the files. It was then that his spidey sense went off and instantly regretted the words coming out of his mouth. "Mr. Stark, Cap, what-uh- what are your positions right now?"

"We're almost to you're location. What's wrong?"

Peter didn't answer.

"What's wrong kid? I don't like it when you give us the silent treatment." He still didn't answer. "You got eyes on, Brucey. Give us some info here."

Bruce turned to the inferred monitor in front of him. "Looks like there's someone just outside the room he's in. I don't know where it came from but it definitely wasn't there two minutes ago and there weren't any alarms alerted either."

"Hold tight son. We're almost there." Steve's voice echoed.

Peter had been completely still in the room when Steve informed him they weren't close to him. Someone was standing outside of the door, almost waiting for Peter to pop out of it. He looked at the screen to see the bar at 78% and wished the older generation wasn't scared of upgrading. It seemed like an eternity that the person was outside until he heard footsteps leading away from the room. It didn't make him feel any better about the whole thing though, nor did his feeling go away.

He let out a breath and glances at the screen to see it was at 93%. "It's almost done."

"You good kid?" Tony's voice sounded.

Before he could answer he heard footsteps again, except this time they were running. Next thing he knew the door was flying at his face, knocking him from his position.

"What was that?"

"You know we don't like hearing crashing noises on stealth missions."

Peter grunted as he pushed the door off himself and looked towards the doorway. He expected to see someone in military gear with a gun pointed at him but instead he was faced by someone in a red and black outside holding a katana.

"Whoa, that never gets old." The stranger said with a laugh. "Okay old man, I'm here to-" He clearly wasn't expecting to see Peter in front of him. "Uuh, oh no. This isn't how it was supposed to go at all. Do you work here?"

Peter was at a loss for words. His mouth was open slightly under his mask trying to make any sense of what happened.

"Come on Underoos give us something."

"This is really awkward." He stranger said. "I didn't expect you of all people to be here." He looked at the computer and saw the screen saying the download was complete. "But you seemed to make my job easier." He went to grab the USB but was unable to when Peter got a web on it and got it first.

"Who are you?" Peter asked as he stood up.

"I feel like this is a dream come true." He said, not hiding the giddiness in his voice. "My name's Wade and though you might not know me, I know you quite well. Wait no, I mean, fear me, I'm Deadpool and I'm here to steal your heart- I mean that information. Ah shit."

"What?" Peter scrunched his face in confusion.

"Whatever, let's just get to the fun part." He pulled something out of his pocket and pressed a button, making Peter's senses go haywire. It was two seconds after that the whole building rocked and an explosion was heard and alarms begin going off.

"What the hell?!" Peter exclaimed. "Why would you do that?"

Deadpool shrugged. "Makes things more exciting."

"What's going on up there kid? We need some sort of explanation for this. This was supposed to be a stealth mission." Tony bit out.

"It's not my fault. Some random- guy in a weird outfit just exploded something." Peter basically yelled back.

"Hey! You're not allowed to say my outfit is weird when you're wearing that." Wade exclaimed.

"Then it's out time to leave." Steve shouted. "We got company. Nat, you guys make it out?"

"We're almost at the jet." She answered.

"We're still on route to you Spider-Man. Can you get yourself out?"

"Yeah, no problem." Again, he regretted the words that came from his mouth when shouts were heard from the hall and bullets started spraying into the room. "I mean, there's suddenly a lot of big guys with big guns..."

"Whoa man, this is gonna be a wild ride." Wade put his katana away and took out his gun and started shooting. "Hey Spidey, wanna do something fun?"

Peter didn't have time to answer. Wade ran out of the room and quickly back in, tackling Peter as he went and they both went flying out of the window.

"Are you insane?!" Peter yelled. "We're eight stories up!"

"Yeah but you're Spider-Man." He replies in a calm manner. "There's no way you'd let us die like this, but if we have to die then I'd prefer it was in each other's embrace."

Peter shook his head at the weird remark and shot web to a nearby tree, hoping it was high enough that the two of them wouldn't splat on the ground below. Luckily it was just high enough from them that they went tumbling when they reached the ground instead of completely falling face first.

"Peter." Bruce called. "Your reading indicate a drop in blood pressure. Were you hit?"

Peter took a second to catch his breath and sprung up. "No Dr. Banner. I think I'm-" an unexpected surge of pain went up his left leg as he attempted to stand. He looked down to see blood starting to pool on his outer thigh. "Y-you know, on second though, it looks like I might have been shot."

"Hand on son. We'll be there in one minute." Steve's voice rang through.

"No rush Cap. It doesn't look that bad."

"O-M-G is that blood?" Peter turned to see Deadpool walking towards him. "I totally didn't mean for this to happen. I swear."

"D-don't come any closer." Peter bit out through the pain. He fired his web shooters at his feet but nothing came out.

"Looks like you're firing blanks, you could say the same for me if you want. What with the radiation and everything. I mean come on, you couldn't let me keep that? What if I want kids huh?" Deadpool complained.

"Okay for one thing, ew." Peter shook his head trying to unhear what was just said. "And two stay were you are!"

Of course, that didn't deter him one bit. He was standing in front of Peter and shove him to the ground then climbed on top of him. "What are you gonna do?"

"Get off me!"

"Only if you give me a kiss."

Peter laid there, dumbfounded. "Hell no!"

"Just one little smooch and I'll be out of your hair." He leaned in. "I'm sure all the fans will enjoy it very much."

"Mr. Stark! Cap! I changed my mind. Rush would be very nice right about now!" He shouted in his comm while trying to push the man off him.

"We gotcha kid." Peter turned his head just in time to see the Ironman armor flying towards him at what seemed like top speed. His sudden admirer was thrown off him and into a tree.

"You alright son?" Steve asked as he ran up to him while Tony landed between the two of them and Deadpool.

He gave a half hardy laugh. "N-never better."

Steve's lips twitched up for a second before he looked at his wound. "It doesn't look as bad as it could. Karen give me stats."

"Yes sir." Karen'svoice rose to life. "Mr. Parker has bruises forming along his back and torso from the fall. The bullet he was shot with went straight through without hitting any bone or muscle and will leave no permanent damage to the tissues due to his healing factor. Though I do suggest you stop the bleeding as soon as you can seeing that he has lost 17.4% of total blood in his body. It is not too bad but Mr. Parker will definitely have a headache later. Otherwise there is no other damage to his person."

"Thank you Karen." Steve said as he helped the boy stand. "Let's get you back to the Bruce. You good to follow, Tony?"

"Yeah, yeah. Give the kid some orange slices or something." Tony answered, not taking his eyes from the man in front of him.

"Dude, so not cool." Deadpool said as he got up. "You could've been nice and asked politely but nooo."

"Tell me who you are and what you're doing here and maybe I won't completely disintegrate you right here." Tony pointed his guns at him.

"Hey, hey, we're on the same team." He held his hands up. "My name's Deadpool, but if you don't wanna call me that I guess you can call me Wade and I was only here because I needed-" He took something out from behind his back and throw it at Tony, to which, it exploded in his face with a blast of smoke and glitter. By the time the smoke cleared, he was gone.

Tony merely sighed. "Start the engines Bruce. Let's get home."

Welllllll, what did you expect?

I've been in a great need for a story like this for so so long and I hope that I can do it justice. Plus PDiddy being here makes it a lot easier to make the timeline make no sense and complete sense at the same time.

Please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors I might have missed, or feel free to point them out to me so I may fix them. Remember to keep the writer alive by leaving a review!

Hope you enjoyed! See ya later!