After Erik got informed about why I go out to take a walk alone and I told him I was going to write a Mass, he did not mind my absence for the time I was at the church.

I was sure I won't be the typical XIX th century girl even after I took the spiritual journey I wanted to, so I doubted I was going to pray every night before bed or before meals, and I am not going to lead my life as a Catholic housewife who takes the children to church and I wasn't even sure I wanted our children to be baptized at birth. Still, even though I chose to take up religion by my free will, I considered my parents's method more acceptable than "forcing" a newborn into what they shall think of God. Erik, receiving religious education did not always choose to have christian thoughts in his head (on the contrary), and though I understood the reason he turned out the way he did in his adulthood, he was the great example to me about raising a child in religious manner did not guarantee anything.

Erik, as I noticed, was a lot more religious than he liked to admit it, and though he always told me he did not wholeheartedly believe in God, it was good to thank him for various good things happening in his life, other than the tragedies he was also blaming God for. If he exists, he is a merciless thing indeed, Erik often repeated to me during these months.

Yet I noticed he was occupied by something as well lately, it was a new work. Well, I did not like the thought too much, knowing how Erik can be if he is composing. I just hoped we are not going to face another art crisis soon - it was painful to watch Erik the last time he had it, cussing like a madman, hurting himself physically and getting lost in his work neglecting his needs completely.

- Erik, sweetie… what are you working on? - I asked cautiously one day when I saw him leaning over his desk. I did not even expect a reply, remembering the last time we had to go through this, but he turned his head to face me right away, to my surprise.

- It is something personal, sweetie, I would not name it until it is finished if you don't mind.

- Okay. - I nodded. - Only promise me you won't do the things you did last time. I hate to see you suffer.

- I don't intend to. - He smiled.

Though it was meant to calm me, I knew Erik did not want to calm me 100 percent and both of us knew he might end up consumed by his music. He never INTENDED to do the self- sacrifice for his music in the first place- it just happened, yet he was always sure it is meant to be, and he HAD to do so. Well, at least now he had a wife and I was willing to literally drag him away from the desk if it gets too much for him. I knew it will be a hard thing to do, but I had to take care of Erik, and it included making sure he was well-fed and rested.

For this exact reason I decided to move into the study to compose instead of my own room. It was big enough and Erik was sitting at the desk mostly, so I could sit at the piano. The "main" piano we owned and which was already owned in Erik's former home was in our music room, but Erik later purchased an upright piano he installed in the study, so he "did not need to cross the hall for playing an idea on the piano while he had the risk of forgetting it for good" as he reasoned, especially if "I accidentally happened to bother him while that". I did not mind it at all, and I jokingly remarked he could buy another one for my room. He refused with a smile though, and when I asked why, I expected him to reason the simplest way possible "it won't fit", but he just softly said:

- If I did so I would never see you down here again.

It was just what I needed at that point, a piano in the same room with Erik. I needed it to compose more than Erik did, so it was good. I just wished it had a jack socket for headphones as my other piano at home. I had an upright piano in the living room of my apartment, but I often used my electric keyboard which was stored in my own room, with headphones for practicing not to bother my Mom while she was watching TV. Erik, thankfully wasn't easy to bother at work. I could play the piano in the same room and he did not raise an eyebrow (he did not even have one, so it was easy for him not to), and though I thought he did not hear me, being so lost in composing, I had to notice he heard what I was doing.

- If it is a regular Mass, why are you composing in Rondo form?

He asked suddenly, not looking back.

- Because…. isn't it… right? - I asked, being unsure I did everything right.

- Not exactly, no. Masses have very strict structural sentences. You ought to use the traditional way unless you wish to be a rebel.

- I did not… umm… did not really study church music before. - I admitted.

- I hear that. - He stated calmly.

- I would have loved to compose something to thank God for music… and my talent… and you. You the most.

Silence. He placed his pen down on the desk and sat motionlessly for some minutes until he slowly stood up and came to me. He put his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes.

- You… me? - He asked softly, not believing completely what he just heard. - Me..?

- Yes.

- I thought it was merely about music and you and God. I did not imagine I was involved.

- I wanted to thank God for you. You taught me the majority of the things I know about music and I am just so happy you are real and can call you my husband. I am happy to be able to touch you and cuddle up against you and you are not just a cleverly written character and a platonic love to me.

Erik could not say a word for a time, he hugged me close with trembling hands and kissed my forehead with passion. I could sense his tears falling on my head as he was silently crying. As he hugged my head to his chest I could hear his heartbeat, and feel his shaking hands on my shoulder and back. One thing was sure: it was easy to send Erik to tears. The slightest crumble of affection or love shown to him made him cry with happiness.

- You know… - He started speaking when he calmed down enough,- I was working on a Mass as well, for the exact same reason… to thank him for you.

We looked at each other with a knowing little smile, and without another word, he sat down next to me at the piano and hugged my shoulder.

- Well, my little wife… let us create our first child together.

Erik

5December, 1882

Before I met Christine Daaé I thought I would be happy with any kind of woman who just happens to forget about my disgusting looks for some reason and chooses to stay with me - not out of pity, out of love - and I could not be happier. I imagined my life would be complete with the simplest creature on Earth, who knows nothing about music, it maybe isn't even important she shall like music at all. Prettiness does not matter either- just love. I prayed God for any kind of female, with a loving heart. Strong stomach and poor eyesight might have also been a great trait for my wife to be, as I imagined in my loneliness before.

Once Christine appeared in my thoughts and heart, I was sure God had finally shown a sign that I shall have someone in my life who loves music just as I do. I agree now. I would not be happy with someone who does not live on music, breaths music and drinks music just as I do. I would not be able to talk about too much things with a woman who can't understand what I like about music so much. When I planned to marry Christine Daaé I did not dream about anything else than living together in music, singing to each other's pleasure until death shall part. This was all I yearned for.

And now… Thank you, my God, for sending two musically trained girls in a row in my underground lair. Thank you for considering my feelings, and how important music was for me always. You know, I was always comforted by only melodies in my early childhood, music made my earlier life at least bearable. You know it. And you now gifted me with the perfect companion… I am sure now that my life with Juti isn't a dream. At first, I am unable to imagine such a girl, by my own fantasy only, I could imagine only a pure, well - written but not lifelike creature I saw in romantic novels. I had to face reality: women are not like what I saw in plays or novels. I don't even know if the authors writing female characters in those stories had actually seen a living woman or were they just miserable bachelors as myself. Girls are not always perfect, and this makes me feel better about my flaws as well. Girls are not all and always queens you can only get close to on hands and knees… they are not that vulnerable or helpless as they seem to be and what I thought of them earlier. Christine taught me part of this lesson when she literally closed a door at my nose (if I had one), and when she yelled at me just as I do at others. And Juti… Juti can be strong if she wants to, she already protected herself successfully against me in the cellar when she did not know exactly it was me, so I am sure she could kick any man she wanted to. And definitely she has flaws as well. But I love her just like that, and she made me understand one can love someone even with major or minor flaws. They don't matter as much when you love that person. You tend to be bothered less about someone being disorganized or touchy when you love the person with all your heart.

Juti… she is perfect to me, even if she has flaws. And musically, she is close to perfection in my eyes. does not only sing and play instruments, she composes music just like I do… and she is willing to indulge in the same activity with me, gladly. She is musically educated, loves music, and I bet her heart beats to the rhythm of mine, we understand each other so well. We don't need to talk when we are engaged in the beauty of the harmonies… and how her beautiful deep brown eyes shine when she is composing…! She is such an insecure and shy little thing in general, but when she is playing, singing or composing she is completely changed.

That endless love for music is also her flaw, just as her forte… The last time listening to music nearly caused her death after all! If I wasn't around to get her out of the way, I would be now a widower in the first year of my long awaited marriage, damn it! She later apologized and explained to me she used to listen to music while walking her dog not to get bored so easily, being all alone. At first I don't understand this being all alone when walking your dog issue, you have COMPANION at least. Secondly… when I told her I was wondering how on Earth she did not get involved in an accident similar to this one before, she replied "Modern vehicles are louder I noticed them coming even with music in my ears." Well, we worked out a solution. Or to be clear I gave her no other choice than leaving her phone here at home when she leaves the house all alone. She accused me of "emotional blackmailing" when I stated she wanted to commit suicide so that she can get rid of me being her husband… well, I know I say things in my anger I don't wholeheartedly mean and I know I hurt her with that statement, but I am ashamed to admit it was the only solution that worked out in the end. Rather to have a few drops of her tears than a liter of blood loss in an injury!

I was angry with her, I have to admit, but this is what she meant by being "perfectly imperfect" when I was sick last year. She was right - one can be perfectly imperfect. I can't believe another year had passed and no major tragedies happened. It is a record with Erik. And I seem to be less unbearable since I have her in my life. Maybe is this my real personality? Sometimes I am still jealous and overworry about her I admit…

But now, since we are composing I don't have to be afraid of anything.

For a week, we are not doing anything else other than eating and sleeping, we compose our Mass. It is our first child we are both responsible for and we are totally working on it in a 50-50 percent share. Juti's forte is creating happy melodies that are thankful, but not slobbery. And I know the structure we shall compose in. She jokingly calls me the structural engineer, and I have to admit she is right in this case. I work on the form and orchestrate and harmonize some of the main themes Juti writes. I also have to come up with another melodies which blend in perfectly with the ones she imagined. I am surprised at myself, not writing musical madness yet again, just as always before, since I left Persia - I thought I wasn't able to compose normal music ever again after those horrible events poisoning my soul - maybe I am calmer? And this is not a Requiem Mass… it is a mass to thank God…

We need a parlor organ. A mass is only acceptable with organ accompaniment. This is the only thing I miss from the house by the lake - a church organ only for me.

But only by a piano accompaniment I can hear this work we are creating giving it our soul and heart, is beautiful. Today we sang the Kyrie we just got done with, and I could hardly sing through my part as I felt I had to cry and it was hard to fight it back. Her voice… and the music… it was magic I have never heard before… She was also surprised about how that music sounds while being performed, and she did not realize how much she improved during our lessons. Her voice, though it remained that child-likely high-pitched, was finally operatically trained and gained depth, and in the end it wasn't trembling at high notes. She reminded me of how angels choirs made of children in Heaven might sound like, and I was so delighted and proud to hear her… performing our Mass.

I know, together we are going to do whatever we want to together… as we love each other and we can thank God for each other… especially I, for her.

Juti's POV

I could not believe my ears while singing different parts of our Mass throughout the weeks. I sounded like Charlotte Church mostly, just like a real opera singer with a childish voice. Erik was a master of creating melodies in which I was able to show my new voice, and the duets, which were supposed to be either the Soprano - Tenor and Alto- Bass parts of the choir, were blending our voices perfectly, and we were in complete harmony. I just wished we could record multitrack videos like some youtubers I saw in modern times, so that I could hear all of the parts sang at once, all performed by us.

I don't even remember much of December, it ran away so fast. For Christmas, I begged Erik not to buy me anything expensive. Well, technically he did not buy ME anything expensive, but he asked me not to gift him either and just let him choose the gift for us as we were going to have a gift both of us will be happy about. I did not know what it might be, but I obeyed, leaving it at completely Erik.

A few days before Christmas, when I came back from Mass, Erik caught my hand excitedly and pulled me close to himself in joy.

- Come. - He pulled me by the wrist, being totally excited.

- What has happened?

- Close your eyes… oh no… remove the glasses! - He sputtered happily.

- Are we going to bed? - I grinned while removing my glasses for him. I was already used to doing it for him when we were planning to have sex- it did not happen too much.

- Oh. - He swallowed with a surprised tone in his voice, but I could hear him smiling soon again. - Not yet, but… it might happen as well, my dear. Erik just wants to show you a surprise… it is for Christmas.

- Are we opening gifts early, my naughty boy? - I giggled.

- Technically you will see it anyway, it was too large and impossible to hide in a Christmas box. - He chuckled. - I just don't want you to see it too early.

He gently led me towards the music room and I instantly saw through the open door that something had changed. There was a huge new furniture at the wall which faced us. It was hard to see without glasses what that might be, and Erik did not try to explain anything. He asked me to close my eyes in addition to the missing glasses as not to see anything too early which can give away what it was. He released me some time later in the room, and gently stroke my shoulder, while whispering in my ear:

- Sing the Kyrie, my love.

I started singing and could hear some strange noise at first, it was like when Erik used to turn on the windbag of the organ in the house by the lake before… and suddenly he started playing the accompaniment. As I opened my eyes and put the glasses back on I saw my dear little husband sitting at his new toy, happily playing, and as he turned back he smiled widely at me.

- Well, now, what do you have to say about this, eh?

Without a reply, I ran to him, hugging him from behind, and kissed the top of his head several times.

- For merely this reason, Erik is happy he has little hair there. - He joked. - My hair does not take away from the sensation of your sweet lips touching my head.

We were playing the organ the whole afternoon and had much fun while that. Even the POTO Overture was on program. Erik later admitted it was merely his wish to have an organ, even if it is just a parlor organ instead of a full church organ he had, as he missed that much from the House by the Lake, but I reassured her I missed it as well, and it is the greatest gift for me too.

Erik was true to his word, and at that evening we were going to bed together again, as he simply could not deny it from me, and he liked that activity more and more, as he admitted. He apologized later that it wasn't his forte to do it as often as he might should have been- he wasn't used to doing it often as he loathed himself for that earlier and tried his best to drown out his desires for such things. And… anyway, he was aging. Men in his age were "calmer in this aspect" as he reasoned. I understood completely, and did not plan to nag him too much about it, but it felt great to be intimate with him that night as well.

The wedding wasn't going to happen before Christmas, sadly and not even at the beginning of the new year. I was slow to receive all kinds of religious sacraments, like Communion, Confession and I had to have some exams in which I had to prove I knew the Bible enough to lead my life according to it. Well, as we had the civil wedding before the priest expected we were not waiting enough to consummate the marriage, so I had to have an extra confession just for that. If he knew it was already about five times we did not wait, I am sure I would not have gotten away only with 10 "Hail Mary"s and 15 "paternoster"s. I also hoped that Erik will have to have at least this amount of prayers when he confesses it - he is the more responsible, he is the man and he is much older.

- I am going to have my settlement with God for that, and whatever I receive as a punishment I tell you it worth it. - He playfully messed up my hair when I told him about this.

The Communion and last confession we had to go through with Monsieur Crawford in the end of January 1883 were much more pleasant as finally I had him with me and wasn't all alone with the priest. I was even happier to hear that we were ready for a ceremony at the Madeleine finally, after doing everything before we could do so. We had to wait 3 weeks after we were announced as a couple to be wed. Doing the Math in my head I could not be happier, but my theory got confirmed as soon as the Father told us the exact date: 25th February!

It was a great date, being on Sunday, and being exactly 4 and 4 days away from both of our Birthdays. It was the perfect day, God must have chosen it for us. I think Erik was thinking about the same thing as when he offered me his arm to accompany me out of the church he looked deeply into my eyes, without a word, but I could read "Thank you" from his expression.

Only three weeks and we are going to be wed again… I am so excited, just as if it was our first one!