Oh don't look at me like that! You guys have known me for so long now, you ought to take everything I say with a grain of salt! I wanted to roll out those updates but life happened! They're still in the works, especially the Bisca one and the Being Normal epilogue. I'm just a busy guy! And sorry about the lack of Valentine's Day content, I hope to make up for that very soon, until then, enjoy this little update!

Magnolia Farms!

Erza Scarlet sat confidently at her desk with her hands folded atop the calendar she placed right under her keyboard, the date keeping device was riddled with little notes and reminders. The calendar could very well be a representation of her desk which was ineptly organized save for her computer screen which looked as plain and dated as the carpet of her office.

"Today begins the journey of a little experiment of mine." The redhead started off, her voice a little jittery before she fell into a groove she was comfortable with. "I am the general manager of a reasonably sized poultry distribution headquarters, as you can see…" The woman pointed over at the sign hanging off her wall labeled "Magnolia Farms."

The camera then panned back to the voluptuous manager as she smiled a bit awkwardly. "Magnolia Farms started as a small family owned operation by our founder, the late, great Makarov Dreyar. I started working in this office when I was 19 because I- wait a minute, what the hell is going on out there?!"

Erza got out of her desk as quickly and angrily as she could, nearly sending the many trinkets on her desk tumbling to the floor. The cameras followed her to her door and through the blinds of her office, one could catch a glimpse of what was happening outside.

Utter chaos seemed to have taken over Magnolia Farms' Magnolia branch as the door swung open and Erza stomped out into the middle of all the ruckus. The camera zoomed in on a rather short pink-haired man standing atop his desk while his head was in the ceiling.

"Natsu!" Erza barked angrily. "What the hell are you doing! You're ruining our first episode of the documentary!"

A muffled voice answered her command. "I really wish I could Erza, but Gray said there was a squirrel up here, and I won't rest until I end that little bastard's miserable existence!" Natsu shouted loudly.

Erza turned her ire to the chuckling dark-haired man who sat smugly in his desk adjacent to Natsu's. Gray always had to antagonize Natsu, it seemed to be his way of finding entertainment in this drab office setting.

While Erza made to scold Gray for his instigation, a woman just short of Natsu's height slapped his calf as he continued to root around the ceiling.

"Ah! Lisanna!" Natsu's leg hiked up in a flinching manner. "I meant that I was going to end this little bastard's miserable existence in here!"

That seemed to please the short white-haired woman well enough for her to leave his leg alone and sit back to watch his stupidity unfold. Meanwhile Erza pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Alright, everyone in the conference room in 5 minutes!"

"But I just set up the conference room for Levy's surprise party!" A blue haired bombshell claimed as she rose from her seat at the receptionist's desk. The nameplate read "Juvia Lockser."

Fuming, Erza snapped at the receptionist. "Juvia! You weren't supposed to tell everyone that!"

Juvia crossed her arms. "But you had me send the invite to literally everyone!" The woman shot back.

"Yeah!" A petite woman who also had blue haired stood up from her desk all the way in the corner. "I was told to bring paper plates when it's literally my birthday party!"

Blushing slightly, Erza played with a strand of scarlet hair. "O-Oh…"

The camera caught a glimpse of Gray's face who just shook his head with an exasperated expression. This was an everyday thing for him.

Narration

"Hey Mira!" Levy smiled and waved to the bar maiden as she approached the near empty bar. This was the first time in a long time the bar had nearly no patrons save for the pink-haired Dragon Slayer. "I was wondering if y-"

"The bubbly young gal pranced over to the bar with a question on her mind. Levy was a girl used to answering riddles, but never did she expect to be on the giving end of one." Natsu suddenly commented as he flipped through a dictionary, which was even more bizarre than the statement he just uttered.

Levy turned her head sideways at the man with a questioning gaze. "What?" Levy asked.

"Another question!" Natsu shouted. "The world was on the young girls mind and seemingly no one had the answers. Just what was our petite bookworm looking for in this life. Validation? Success? Meaning? Only time would tell!"

Mirajane giggled as she sipped from a glass of water. "Natsu's been doing this all day. It's driven everyone away but I kinda dig it so I let it pass."

Natsu flipped another page in the dictionary. "Finally! An answer sprouted from the mouth of the bubbly bar wench! Her words as fluid as the water she sipped from her glass! Despite one riddle solved, Levy continued to look upon our humble story spinner with great confusion."

"Right…" Levy trailed off as she stepped away slowly, choosing to not take part in this. "I'm just gonna catch up with you later Mira…"

"It would seem the questions have concluded. Young Levy journeys off into the land of the unknown, to return to solve the final puzzle at a moment not yet passed! Once again, there were but two!" The narrator disguised as Natsu read aloud.

Mirajane smiled wholeheartedly as she ruffled his hair affectionately. "You're as cute as always Natsu." The white-haired model sang as she turned around.

"Words of endearment fall on grateful ears this day. Mirajane humbly returns to her grind amongst the alcohol she so efficiently sells." Natsu then turned another page. "Unbeknownst to our dear Shakespearean author, Mirajane looks to have her ass fucked by his magnificent co-"

Whack!

"Like a feather, studious Natsu falls to the ground with fleeting grace as his vision slowly darkens!" The young man read before his head bounced off the floor and he was out cold.

Mirajane stood with her hand raised and an angry, blushing glare on her face told everyone what happened. Natsu's dumb luck finally ran out.

A/N: Man, its been too long since I've updated this story. It really is a shame because it is really fun to work on. Maybe I will have some more stuff out soon, until then, no one really knows!