a/n: In the face of several requests and my own nagging plot bunnies, here is the start of the foreshadowed one-shot series based off of the 'Just Kidding' end portions of A Study in Alchemy! That said, any of these can be regarded as any other FMAxHP crossover, and any specifics about the timeline, canonicity, or general situation will be addressed at the beginning of each story. The actual a/n prompt will be posted at the beginning of each story so that those of you who want to can tell where I can coming from.

Updates will be sporadic as the mood to write strikes me.

Well, with that over with: thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoy this.

Dumbledore Switch: "Tune in next time to see Ed accidentally knock out Dumbledore and consequently be forced to impersonate him for the rest of the Harry Potter series!"

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"Talking"

Dumbledore Switch

"Awww…" Head pounding behind his closed eyelids, Edward Elric rolled off the smooth stone floor onto his hands and knees. "…what the hell happened…happened…" He had opened his eyes, looking around at the unfamiliar room filled with moving pictures, lined with bookshelves, and cluttered with strange objects that either glowed (which was strange enough) or floated (which was impossible). "…Crap."

~o(0)o~

Hagrid stood uneasily outside of Dumbledore's office, debating on whether or not he should knock. He had just returned from helping young Harry get his school supplies in order, and he was anxious to finally hand over the Philosopher's Stone to the headmaster, but…

" &$%*#!" The string of muffled cursing (which Hagrid was at least relieved to recognize was the non-magical sort) had been going strong for over five minutes now, and it seemed unlikely that it would be stopping any time soon

"Hagrid?" Hagrid jumped at the sound and turned to face Professor McGonagall. "What are you doing out here?"

"Ah, Professor." Hagrid glanced at the closed door. "Well, you see..." He tailed off when he saw that the transfiguration teacher wasn't listening to him anymore. Instead, judging by the way her face reddened beneath her wide-brimmed hat, she appeared to have heard some of what Dumbledore was saying.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Without waiting for permission or even knocking, Minerva shoved past Hagrid and slammed open the door. "What in Merlin's name are you doing in here!"

Slipping in behind his old teacher, Hagrid watched as Dumbledore jumped in surprise at their sudden entrance and took on a guarded stance, arms coming up as if he preparing to block a punch. "What's going on here?!" The old man's voice was abnormally harsh as his gaze darted between Hagrid and Minerva.

"Um, I'm just devliverin' the package you asked me to pick up, Professor." Hagrid began, stepping forward and setting the paper-wrapped package on the desk in from of the ancient wizard.

"Right. The package. That I wanted you to give me." Dumbledore squinted at the parcel from behind his spectacles and slowly reached forward. Still looking between the package and Hagrid, the professor carefully untied the string and removed the paper around the Stone. The second the crimson gem was revealed, Dumbledore flinched.

"This is–!"

Hagrid nodded. "The Philosopher's Stone. Got it from Gringotts like you asked." Behind him, McGonagall remained back by the door. She seemed to be observing Dumbledore with the same suspicion the headmaster had shown the package.

Gingerly, Dumbledore picked up the Stone. "Do you know what this is?"

Hagrid stared at the headmaster. "I just told you, Professor." Hagrid thought the old wizard was acting very strange, but it was Dumbledore…

"No," The headmaster shook his head. "Do you know how this is made?"

"Headmaster," Now McGonagall stepped away from the door, "You know as well as anyone that Nicholas and yourself are the only ones to have studied alchemy for decades."

"Right. Of course." Dumbledore edged away from the transfiguration teacher, the Stone held tightly in his grip. "Then if this is destroyed, no one will be able to make another?"

Hagrid cocked his head. "Why would you ask–"

SLAM! CLAP! Dumbledore smashed the Stone onto his desk and clapped his hands together. To Hagrid's amazement, when Dumbledore touched the Stone again, red sparks crackled and spun around the desk. The Professor could do wandless magic now?

Before he or McGonagall could say anything, a blinding flash of light filled the room. When Hagrid's eyes refocused, Dumbledore's desk was gone...along with the Stone. The headmaster stood over the place where his desk once sat, breathing heavily but looking oddly pleased with himself.

"Professor..." Hagrid began.

"Hagrid." Minerva's hand was suddenly on his shoulder, guiding him towards the door. "You should leave us for now. I'm sure there are things you need to prepare before the students arrive."

"Well, yes..." Hagrid made his way reluctantly to the stairs. "But what just–"

"Thank you, Hagrid." The groundskeeper managed one more concerned glance at Dumbledore before McGonagall shut the door. What just happened?

~o(0)o~

"Who are you?" The strangely dressed woman dropped her neutral facade as soon as the door closed behind the bushy-haired man who could have rivaled Major Armstrong in size.

Ed searched for an answer, trying to remember who they had mistaken him for. "Ah...Professor Mumbleroar?" The alchemist winced: even to his own ears he sounded unconvincing.

"No. You are not." The woman drew a slim stick out of the folds of her robes and pointed it at Ed's chest. A weapon? "I'll only ask one more time: who are you, and why are you pretending to be Professor Dumbledore? It seems sloppy for an impersonator not to know their own target."

"I–" Things were moving too fast. One minute, Ed had been fighting beside Mustang in an secret chamber underground Central; the next, and the gold-toothed doctor was grinning at him as a portal of Truth opened beneath Ed's feet. But now? Now? Here he was, in a completely different–not to mention in some parts physically impossible–room, having just destroyed a Stone, and this random stranger thought it was a good idea to yell at him! "Why the hell do you think I'm impersonating anybody?!"

The woman's eyes narrowed, but the stick did not waiver. "Are you claiming to normally look exactly like Albus Dumbledore?"

Ed gave himself a quick once-over. Yep, everything was still in place. Whatever had happened, Truth hadn't even had the decency to fix the tears in his clothes. "Maybe..." he began, "What does this 'Albus Dumbledore' person look like?"

Irritation flashed across the woman's face. "I don't have the patience to deal with this foolishness. STUPIFY!"

Red light shot out from the tip of the woman's stick, and Ed barely managed to get his automail up in time to block. The strange energy bounced off the prosthetic with a hiss, and the woman simply stared at Ed, stunned. Ed however, had also run out of patience.

The distance between them vanished as Ed sprinted forward, keeping low to avoid any more blasts, and before Minerva had time to blink she had been slammed to the ground. Ed pressed his automail to the woman's throat, having decided that the simple pressure of the metal would be enough to dissuade resistance without transmuting the blade. "Where. The hell. Am I?"

~o(0)o~

Minerva barely had time to register the fact that her stunning spell had been miraculously deflected when she found herself on the ground. Albus crouched over her, but the second his right arm touched her throat–

"Where. The hell. Am I?"

Oh, now she could see it–see him. Her eyes widened as the illusion of Dumbledore faded away to reveal a young man in torn and bloodied cloth. Tired golden eyes filled with confusion and a hint of rage peered out from behind matted and dirtied bangs of the same color. There was a cut above the young man's eye that seeped with crimson down his angular features, but he appeared to ignore it in favor of pressing his armored forearm harder into her throat.

"How do I get back to Central?"

Minerva's gaze twitched to her wand, but the instant the blond noticed where she was looking, the piece of fir was kicked from her hand.

"Where–" The witch tried to choke out. It was getting hard to breathe. "Where is Central?"

The blond's frown deepened. "It's in the capitol." Seeing the confused look on her face, he continued. "In Amestris. Next to Xing? Land-locked by Aerugo, Dracma, Creta, and the Eastern Desert?"

"I know none of those places." Minerva admitted. "You are a far way from home, Imposter."

The blond cursed, looking desperately around the room, as if seeking something familiar. Finally, he turned his gaze back on her. "Look. I don't want to hurt you." If anything, the young man's eyes seemed to lose some of their luster, and he didn't even bother trying to respond to her jibe at his identity. "If you promise you won't try anything with that stick of yours I'll let you get up. Deal?"

Minerva weighed her options. It would have been one thing if she knew where Dumbledore was or what had happened to the Stone, but as things stood, she was at this stranger's mercy wether or not she was being held at the throat. "Deal."

~o(0)o~

Ed was relieved that she had accepted his offer so quickly, and immediately pulled his automail from her skin. The woman sat up warily, rubbing her throat while her eyes never left the alchemist.

"So...names?" Ed prodded.

"Minerva McGonagall."

Strange. But the Fullmetal Alchemist had heard stranger. "Edward Elric." There was no reaction to his name, which at this point really shouldn't have surprised him.

"Hogwarts."

"Excuse me?"

"That's where you are: the office of Headmaster Albus Dumbledore at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland."

Ed let himself process that for a minute. "Alright. I've never heard of Scotland. What were you people doing with a philosopher's stone?"

"The headmaster wanted to guard it. What have you done with it?"

"Guard it?" Ed snorted, "Listen, lady. People do not just 'guard' philosopher's stones: they either use 'em or destroy 'em. I chose the latter."

Minerva opened her mouth, but then hesitated. "I...I agree. I had cautioned Albus that it should be destroyed, not locked away, but he didn't–"

"Wait, magic?" Ed's brain caught up to what Minerva had said, "I must have heard you wrong, because it sounded like you said this was a school for 'witchcraft and wizardry'."

The woman scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "That–that's exactly what I said."

Ed couldn't help the grin that crept onto his face. "Because magic exists." He teased.

"It does." Minerva responded, her face completely serious.

Ed's grin faded. "Right, and I'm a wizard."

"And I'm a witch."

Ed's smile fell completely. This woman wasn't lying. But if she wasn't... He remembered the various floating objects in the office, and he was pretty sure the stick she had been waiving was a wand, and... "Crap, how the hell did Truth screw me over this time."

a/n: to be continued