Chapter 1: The List

Arnold and Helga were in the middle of their eighth grade year. They didn't know what they were happier about; the fact that they were almost through with middle school or the idea of starting high school in an open relationship.

One morning Helga was sitting in class, doodling pictures of her beloved as she sat behind him while listening in on his conversation.

"Man Arnold! Can you believe the assignment Simmons told us about yesterday?" Gerald exclaimed, as Arnold didn't seem to be bothered by it.

"It's not that strange. I mean, we already did the egg project."

"Yeah, twice." Gerald pointed out, seeing the teacher walk in.

All the students turned to face the front of the room, while Arnold took one last look at Helga. He watched her smiling at her notebook with her face planted in her hand, knowing what she must be doing (or at least thinking about).

"Sorry I'm late class. I was printing out your instruction sheets for your new assignment." Mr. Simmons began to explain, before being interrupted.

"Another stupid assignment! But why?!" Harold whined, while the class turned to give him puzzled looks.

"Harold, this is school. We're going to be given an assignment for something every day." Rhonda sighed at his ignorance.

"Class, please settle down. Now as I was saying, I printed off your list of instructions. Just like your egg assignment, you'll practice being married this weekend, and keep a journal of it."

"Are we going to have to present this to the class again?" Sid asked.

"Actually Sid, no. This list is full of very special trust exercises a good marital couple would be willing to do with one another." Mr. Simmons explained excitedly.

Arnold sat there reviewing the list as Helga continued to smile at her drawings, thinking to herself…

Oh Arnold! How wonderful this weekend shall be! Spending time with my said to be husband, and perhaps even one day, my actual husband! What special moments shall we be sharing with one another these next few days? What tend…

"Helga? Helga? Helga!" a voice called, interrupting her personal thoughts.

"Huh? I mean, what do you want football head?!" she scowled, snapping out of her daze.

"I was just passing back our math assignment." Arnold said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah, hand 'em over! Sheesh!" the vexed girl snapped, snatching the papers from him.

A moment after Arnold had turned back in his seat, the class heard Mr. Simmons ask "Yes Stinky, what is it?"

"I reckon I don't remember learning these questions in our math book?" Stinky said, scratching his head.

"They're just basic fractions. Nothing new was put in." the perky teacher assured him.

"Well, okie dokie then." Stinky shrugged his shoulders, staring at the paper, while the rest of the students went back to working.

A Few Hours Later

The lunch bell finally came, and the students all headed to hand in their assignments.

Before half of them could head out the door, Mr. Simmons called out "Umm Stinky, what is this note doing with your paper?"

"You said they were just basic fractions, so I answered them 'best I could?" the country boy replied, as Arnold stood there listening in on the conversation.

"Stinky, this is not a list of fractions. It's a list of questions someone must have written when they should have been working on the assignment." Mr. Simmons said disappointedly.

"Aww gee." Stinky sighed, full of embarrassment, as he headed towards the cafeteria.

While Arnold stood in the hall, he was tempted to explain to Stinky what had happened until he heard…

"Oh brother, what a dweeb!"

The blonde boy turned to see his girlfriend standing with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. He began to rub his neck nervously as he stuttered "Uhh yeah. That note was actually for you."

Cocking her brow at the information, Helga leered "Pttss...and you thought the best way to contact me would be by mixing your personal feelings in with our math assignment?"

"Whatever you say Helga." he sighed, taking her hand, leading her down the hallway to the cafeteria.

Cafeteria

"Well, should we sit with Gerald and Phoebe, or do you want to talk about this weekend?" he asked curiously.

"Unless Simmons has double dating on that list of marital accomplishments of his, I don't see them being of much help to us."

Rubbing her hand, Arnold revealed his signature smile and said "That could be our special activity."

Helga swooned at the sweet gesture, and her boyfriend's anxious desire to start on their assignment. After realizing the trance she had fallen into, the blonde girl vigorously shook her head and scoffed "Let's get something to eat. What kind of husband doesn't treat his wife to lunch? Sheesh!"

As they stood there, the two were too wrapped up in their thoughts about the activities they would be doing together as a married couple to notice their two best friends hadn't taken their eyes off of them.

"Mm, mm, mmm! Can you imagine Pataki standing in front of Arnold in the lunch line to hold his hand, rather than to steal his food?" Gerald asked, shaking his head while holding his sandwich.

Phoebe smiled at her best friend's attempt to loosen up as she replied "It is a bit precarious to see. However, now that Arnold has proven he's able to see past her rough exterior, along with the class being well aware of their relationship, she's learning to openly express herself."

"Yet, she can't accept a stack of papers from him without blowing HER stack?" he pointed out, lifting an eyebrow.

"Although she's not willing to admit such personal information, her daydreaming is often based on intimate moments between her and Arnold. Therefore, it would seem a bit suspicious to simply smile at him after being interrupted from one." Phoebe pointed out, while Gerald once again shook his head.

As Phoebe was explaining the reason behind Helga's conflicted behavior, the lunch line began to move.

Another Table

"I don't reckon I'll be doing too well on this assignment. On account of I don't know much about relationships." Stinky sighed, while taking a bite of his lemon pudding.

"Ohh I hate school! Why do we have to pretend to be married? It's not like…" Harold moped, before feeling a tap on his shoulder.

The husky boy turned to see his partner for the assignment standing behind him. "Hello Harold. I hope you'll be ready to complete our list of marital assignments after school."

Staring at the stylish girl, Harold sighed "I guess so."

"Good. And you better not mess anything up. If this turns out like the egg project, I swear…" Rhonda pointed a finger before being interrupted.

"What happened with your egg project?" Sid asked.

Placing her hands on her hips, Rhonda sneered "Harold here seemed to think being a responsible parent meant putting his stomach before his child."

"Bow howdy! Does that mean you ate the egg Harold?"

"Whilikers! Is that why is was all filled with cracks when you brought it back to school?" Stinky exclaimed.

Clenching his fists at the accusations, Harold hollered "Shut up or I'll pound ya!"

Lunch Line

While moving through the line with his partner, Arnold asked "So, have you thought about what you'd like to do this weekend?"

"That depends. What was on that list Simmons gave you?" Helga asked, while grabbing herself a burger and two chocolate milks with two bendy straws.

"I'll show it to you when we sit down." he said, grabbing the last tapioca pudding.

"Are you sure you won't pass it to the wrong table on our way over there?" she smirked.

"Whatever you say Helga." he sighed, leading her to a private table.

As the two sat down, Helga wasted no time digging into her food. Arnold couldn't help but smile at her, while pointing out "Are you showing me how you'll be eating at our wedding, or what our kids will be like?"

Glaring at him, she replied "I don't know. Are you asking to meet Ol' Betsy, or the Five Avengers?"

By the time Arnold found the list in his bag, Helga was finished with her burger and reaching for her chocolate milk.

"So what kind of fun are we looking at here?" she insisted on knowing, leaning back in her seat with her milk.

Arnold handed over the paper as she set aside her milk, crossing her legs with an arm hanging over the chair.

Marital Assignment

Cook

Clean

Share a secret

The gratitude game

A special activity

A thoughtful gesture.

Leaning forward in her seat, while Arnold continued to eat, Helga cocked her eyebrow and asked "What the heck is the gratitude game?"

Setting aside his tray, Arnold replied "I think it's when you're supposed to take turns reminding your partner what you love about them, and are thankful for."

Helga rolled her eyes as Arnold began to blush. "So, I'm supposed to say I love the way you pass what are meant to be my heartfelt notes to our idiot classmates? Pttss...makes sense."

"Uhh kind of. How about you come over after school? We'll cook and clean, do two more things from the list tomorrow, and finish it on Sunday." he explained, while seeing her shrug her shoulders.

"Eh, works for me." she replied, setting aside the list.

Arnold reached for his tapioca as he said, "I'm kind of surprised you didn't take this when we were in the lunch line."

"I'm not THAT selfish." she glared, leaning back in her seat with her arms crossed, expecting a little more credit than that.

"Did you want it?" he offered, holding it out to her.

"Nah, you give me yours every day. Besides, now we can say I got my thoughtful gesture out of the way." she laughed.

Arnold sighed at her reason for turning down the sweet treat and said "Whatever you say Helga."