Beth's diary

Dear diary,

I want to tell you about our arrival in England. Jo encouraged me to write and since I can't write fiction, I'm trying a little diary. Jo was funny today, of course. So I'll start with that.

"This is the most exiting adventure in my life" shouted Jo, when the ship arrived at the port of the English coast. "At last, this is Europe! Here I'm coming" she exclaimed and waved her hat. A woman nearby gasped, but Laurie just laughed about Jo's hilarious glee. I smiled about my sister's happiness. She was tired of all the long days caring for me and now the sorrows of the last year are wiped out. I'm still a bit weak and won't be rosy again in my life, but I don't need to be afraid anymore, said the doctor. Passing the valley of the shadow, my young years were a nightmare I'm trying to foregt. I never wanted to see Europe, but we're going to attend Amy's wedding. She has accepted Fred's proposal and will be settled well. So she invited Jo, Laurie, and me. Marmee and Father will stay at home, they say that they're too old for travelling. Also Meg will stay with Mr. Brooke and with Daisy and Demi in America. But we hope that Amy and her husband will visit us soon. Amy always wanted to be rich and now she'll be. I didn't like Fred when I met him many years ago, when we were children. He's so noisy and boasting. His twin Frank was better, I wonder what he's doing. "Hey, Beth! Don't look sour! Enjoy the beautiful view!" Jo turned to me. Of course, she's still worried about me and sometimes I think she has to check if I'm truly alive. So I tried to look cheerful and listen to Laurie's narrartions about this extraordinary continent.

Afternoon.

Now we arrived at the place, it's more a palace. It could be a real castle in the air, but I prefer my good old home. This estate is far too big, precious and scary, with so many people. Amy greeted us, she looked quite frivolous with her blue dress and the white silk gloves. She showed us everything, but I liked the grand piano most of all. The proud Fred Vaughn joined us, and also his blonde hair and moustache were highly praised. There were remarks about good, old "Camp Laurence" and Jo laughed a lot. In a splendid living room, we met Fred's sisters Kate and Grace. Both would be brilliant sisters-in-laws, I'm sure. But one sibling was missing. I waited for him all the time, but he didn't come to greet us. Frank, my good, old friend from Camp Laurence. At last, Jo had the courage to ask. Fred seemed to be unhappy, when he said that his twin brother didn't want to see us. Then he changed the topic and everyone was merry again. But I was confused. Why did Frank avoid us?

Next day.

This was a good night. I had never had such a comfortable bed in my life. My thoughts started again and so I'm writing early in the morning. I'm thinking about playing the piano in the beautiful room today. But before that, I'll slip into the kitchen and ask, if I can help a bit, like I used to do at home with helping Hannah. I can't just amuse myself in all the luxury - it would be better to rest for my health, but I'm a too busy soul.

Later:

Dear Diary,

you'll never believe whom I met! Sometimes it is an advantage to make an mistake. Instead of the kitchen, I got into another room. Don't ask me, how I got to there, but the estate is a real labyrinthe. It was a dull room, very quiet. And I was afraid of disturbing someone before breakfast. The room wasn't empty. Jo would laugh now and call me a brave girl, but I felt embarrassed. There was only one figure on an armchair, near to the fire. I decided to leave, but accidentally, I broke a vase. Is it my weakness that makes me clumsy? Of course, I got noticed and can you guess who was there? After so many years, I almost didn't recognize him. With a grumpy voice, well, like Mr. Laurence's, he yelled at me. Oh dear, indeed he was it. He's still similar to his brother. And he was as surprised as I was. He was wearing a dressing gown and he had a bearth - that needed to be shaved. He turned around, to the fire and just said: "Who are you. What are you doing here?" I felt flustered, and with all my powers, I raised my voice to answer: "I'm Beth. Elizabeth March." In this awful break I heart Frank only breathing, and then he said, more softly: "I'm sorry, Beth. But you should go now. At once." I asked him why and said that I'm not a ghost, but survived. And if he remembers Camp Laurence. "You shouldn't see me." he muttered. Dear Diary, Jo would narrate this much better and I don't know how to express it. All I wrote for our newspapers were cooking recipes. Well, I saw then, what he was talking about. He had an awful disease, the smallpox, even if healt, there were the traces. But I wasn't afraid after I survived the scarlet fever and my terrible times. I touched his hand and told him that. Frank got very ill, when Amy was in Europe for the first time. And he didn't want contact anymore because he was so ashamed. He asked me about my music and I even opened the window courtains to make the room sunny. And outside, we saw Jo and Laurie. Both were chatting and walking in the gardens. They were enjoying the fresh air and the rising sun before breakfast. Jo seems so much happier because Laurie cheers her up. She suspected me to be in love with this merry lad, but I know her better. But then Frank said that Jo was good, but Amy would be a bad girl. He said that she would only catch his brother because she wants to be rich. And that's why, he didn't like us March girls. He hurted me with it, but he could be right. Unlike Jo, I stayed quiet and asked him to come for breakfast. And diary, can you guess what happened? He came and his face wasn't as bad as he said it was. He shouldn't be ashamed - and I know that I'm also an invalid and not as beautiful as other women in my age. Everyone was amazed and we had a jolly breakfast.

Two days later:

I had time to observe my sisters. But first I'll write about my time with Frank. Amy, Fred, Jo and Laurie went hunting - I can't understand why English people could kill animals just for fun. Amy is a very good rider and Jo loves horses, too. Frank can still not go hunting, even if his leg is better. Because of his accident he limbs a bit. But I wouldn't care even if he would have lost it. We went into the stables, where he cares for the dogs. He showed me the puppies -they are so playful and are too young for being used for hunting. Actually, I'm almost glad that Frank doesn't hunt anymore. We both know not much about literature or arts, like Jo and Amy do, but Frank found other topics apart from hunt and cricket or dust and dishes. I told him about our cats at home and he about some funny English anecdotes. And we made fun about our miserable prospects of future. As a second son and with his bad health, he is not desiderated on the "marriage market". Then we went in and I played some pieces of music on the piano. Frank is very amazed, but I know that I lost a lot of practice and I'm far weaker than Laurie. There's a big library and we spent some quiet time there to rest and recover. For me, these books are just paper and ink, but for Jo it's the whole world. And there I got a brilliant idea. Dear diary, I tried to watch Amy carefully and I think that she doesn't love Fred. She smiles a lot, but she said yesterday that it's so good to have money to care for us. Perhaps she was thinking about the costs of my medical treatment, but Amy also always longed for beautiful things. I have to care now for my sisters and Frank will help me.

Next day:

Dear diary, now I'll tell you about our hilarious intrigue. It's not a new trick, but effective. I said to Jo that I would like read a book and she should help me to find a good one in the library. Jo wouldn't be too surprised about my sudden interest in books - she was too much proud to get me into literature. So Jo went into the library, and my tiny self followed her. Of course, I had to leave her alone because someone else was waiting there: Laurie. Frank had done the same and also Laurie couldn't resist to help his good, old friend. Frank and me were watching them silently. Apparently, they found out that it was a trick, but thank God, they only laughed and didn't leave at once. Then Laurie asked Jo if she remembered their first meeting in Laurie's library. This was after Jo's and Meg's New Year Ball, and Laurie had caught a terrible cold. Jo, the mischievous girl, had not told us that she would go to him. Afterwards, she told us about this splendid library and I fell in love with Laurie's grand piano. Jo and Laurie chatted once and now about books, and for this very moment, I got an impression, how this meeting had been so many years ago. Jo looked so much younger and at last happy. When I turned around, I noticed that Frank was watching rather me than Jo and Laurie. I have to confess that I do like him. He doesn't know much about music, but I think I wouldn't mind it. I do love music as Laurie does. My problem is my health, Laurie's one his business. Jo would accept him if he were a poor street musician, but she's too proud to marry a rich man. Oh, she's fond of these poor, lost souls and she is too much afraid of society. Amy is the opposite, she longs for society and good manners. Jo and Laurie seem to develop more tender feelings for each other, but what about Amy? And what about myself, dear diary?

The wedding day-well, the planned,-wedding-day.

It's my fault. Perhaps I'm wrong, but now everything is decided. We'll not stay anymore. Dear diary, Amy isn't going to marry Fred. They had a big argument. It's my fault because I told Amy that she should only marry for love. But at that moment, Fred had entered the room and overheart it. He sent me away and when I later met Amy she had tears in her eyes. Today we are going to leave. It's sacandalous, but the wedding won't happen. I'm very sorry for Amy because she'll get a bad reputation. Jo seemed to be satisfied, actually, she was apparently happy about the outcome of this story. She and Laurie comforted Amy. I don't know what Fred and Amy had talked about, but perhaps he thought that we would only want his heritage. I'm very sorry. Perhaps Amy does really like Fred. And marrying just for money isn't too rare. But Marmee would decide against it.

Later:

Dear diary, can you guess what happened? I'm still here in England! But without Jo,Laurie or Amy. Fred rode on his horse to our carriage, when we had leaft and were approaching to the port. He talked with me and said that Frank would miss me. He would rather kill himself than being without me. And that he was sorry for saying some insulting things. And I asked Fred about the thing with the cancelled marriage. But Fred said that it was everything right and Amy decided not to marry him. But he would survive it. Amy wouldn't be afraid of having a bad reputation. But of course, I also wanted that Frank could survive. I wasn't sure how much Fred exaggerated, but my heart felt that I also would live only with Frank. Fred had organized a smaller carriage for me and I explained it with some words to my surprised sisters. But they accepted that I wanted to stay here in England. Then I wouldn't need the difficult voyage across the ocean. Here's a good climate and even Uncle and Aunt Carroll with their daughter Florence would stay here still some weeks. We sisters were weaping a bit because we would be separated and I love my home. Jo encouraged me and waved me a joyful goodbye. All my sorrows were vanished, when I saw then Frank, waiting impatient and standing at the entry of the mansion. His face was shaved and there was so much brightness, when he saw me. With all my forces, I ran to him and smiled. He bowed and kissed my hand, as if I was a lady. "Welcome, my dear Beth." he said with a warm glance. Dear diary, I'm so happy!

A year later:

Dear Beth,

How are you and your proud husband? I really would like to listen to one of your famous piano concerts! There happened so much and you wise little woman will probably not be surprised. Jo and Laurie married - what a shame you couldn't attend! Laurie was a very splendid groom and Jo looked as hilarious as Jo would ever look as a bride. The decision was easier, when Mr. Laurence gave his business to John Brooke. He's so much gifted with caring for it and having enough money is for Meg and her children a great comfort. Of course, she would love him the same if he was still poor. And Aunt March gave Plumfield to Jo and she wants to change it to a college. Meg as an once governess will help her. Laurie, who's now devoted to his music, will teach there music. And both teachers, Jo and Laurie, found then one day to get engaged. And many thanks to you, that you cared for Jo's old friend Friedrich Bhaer with finding an excellent teaching profession at the west coast and even send some money. And especially Jo was amused, that you told us that Fred is now in love with Florence! Amy wouldn't be jealous of her and your cousin. She spends a lot of time with her friend Tudor. When Tudor visited us the last time, Amy praised his perfect manners and his handsome dark hair. And he told us about a certain lobster incident. Do you remember Amy's party, when only one friend arrived? Apparently, Amy had met on this occasion him by chance and there was a big impression. I don't know what my youngest daughter has done on this day, but I guess I'll prepare to see him as a son-in-law. But now I wish you, my Beth, all the best for you and your Frank. Elizabeth Vaughn, will I ever get used to your name? God bless you! Also your father is proud of you.

Love,

Marmee