Close your eyes. Do it now. Picture a sunny day — not too hot, just that perfect temperature when you feel warm, but you don't wind up covered in sweat. Imagine the gentle rays of sun caressing your skin as they dance across the branches of trees covered in thick blankets of leaves. Trees? Yes, trees of a magnificent forest you're freely wandering through. Now picture a field bathed in sunshine, right there in the middle of it all, green grass swaying from the light breeze, splashed with colourful petals of flowers you can't even name.

You stop and breathe in first: a mix of the fresh air and daring smells of flowers in bloom. You listen: the soft hum of a river falling in slopes over stones somewhere out of sight, the melodic song of birds adding to the magical feel of it all. And then you look. You start walking before the thought fully forms in your head, before you command your legs to move. It's because you're drawn by what you saw when you allowed your eyes to focus, when you allowed them to pick out that one beauty that trumps any other surrounding you. You reach it and move so slow you almost feel like you're not moving at all. That's before a deathly strong force propels you towards the mystical, blood red heart of this thorny entity. What am I talking about? Why a rose of course. What else could be so beautiful and so very, very dangerous at the same time? Not beautiful, hypnotic. So enchanting it has you reaching for it and holding onto it tightly despite the sharp pain it causes as it digs into your palm with its pointy shield.

Why would you ever have to picture any of this, you might wonder. Because there is no other way for me to explain how meeting a girl by the name of that very flower felt like. How out of control and bewitched I was when Rosemarie Hathaway walked into my life.

I could go on and describe her looks to you. I could tell you every single detail of her appearance and form an image so vivid you'd feel like she was standing right before you. You've probably learned so far painting pictures was something I was always rather good at, whether it was with a brush or with words. But instead of doing that, I'll try my best to make you feel her instead of seeing her, because, as shocking as it sounds, it wasn't her alluring looks that had me so hooked right from the start. It was her very essence that spun my world around.

Darkness was there, in her, all the time, ever since I'd met her. Touched by death is what she was. It should've made her soul as black as the shadows constantly surrounding her. She was so young and yet the things she'd lived through aged her in such a brutal way. I remember saying that once, when the Spirit consumed me, driving me into an illusion only my mind learned to embrace as an old friend. I was wrong though. She was the living proof of that overused line what doesn't kill us. Yes, it made her so much stronger, made her seek out the things this cruel world tried to take away from her, made her fight that much harder to find that child within herself. She won the war. It was one bloody battle after the other, but her vibrant heart made it through, her innocent mind prevailed.

She was a Dhampir, but if she could use any element whose powers were reserved only for those whose veins were rich with Moroi blood, it would've been Fire. I'm sure of it, because even like this, despite the fact that she wasn't graced with such magic, she set the world on fire. She burned brighter than anything living or dead. And she woke a fire within everyone who she'd touch.

Do you get the picture? Good. Because that's only the tip of the iceberg. Let me just state here that if anyone ever tells you someone's story is too long to be told or written, they are lying their ass off. Everyone's story can be made into a book. The only question: the number of pages you'd need. Rose's story would definitely need plenty of them stretched through several volumes. Maybe a spin-off too. Definitely a spin-off if you included my view of it. However, I don't have the luxury to tell you a book-long story unless you plan on staying here listening to me for months. So, I'll only give you a one chapter version.

I started by describing how it felt to meet Rose, but please don't make the mistake of assuming I was talking about our first encounter. Sure, we met on a porch of a skiing lodge in Aspen, but we didn't truly meet until later. I didn't know her and knowing her was what influenced that description earlier. I can freely admit I was intrigued right from the jump, but I had no idea how important that moment would turn out to be. How life altering. After all, she's one of the main reasons I am who I am today. Still, it'd only be fair to briefly look back at that monumental night.

Raise hands, how many of you enjoy having dinner with your family? How about dinner with your family after you've dropped out of college, spent their money on your runaway trip, dodged their calls when they figured out they weren't paying for your tuition anymore and, finally, asked them to bail you out of jail (don't ask) so you could come back home? Yeah, I didn't think so. Now take that situation and add the info I gave you on my parents. Also, include a few of their snobby friends. All in all, fun times.

We didn't even reach the main course when I finished my fifth glass of whiskey, my father's disapproving glare following my hand every time I brought the glass to my lips. I remember how much my blood was boiling and not from the alcohol. I felt trapped, defeated, miserable. I wanted to run, but I had nowhere to go. I knew my demons would follow me everywhere. Running was pointless. I learned that the hard way. Still, I would've gone crazy if I stayed in that room a second longer. I don't recall what I'd said to excuse myself, but I know my father was less than pleased by it. However, he made no attempts to stop me. Stopping me from doing what I'd intended would cause a scene, a scene he couldn't afford if he wanted to prevent me from soiling our good name further.

I took my coat from the checkroom and rushed to the closest door. It led to a large porch that was empty thanks to the sharp weather. I expected the cold, but I didn't think it'd make my teeth clatter, not after the drinks I'd consumed. The alcohol coursing through my veins should've kept me warm, but buttoning my coat, putting on my gloves and huddling against the wall proved to be necessary if I didn't want to freeze to death. I smoked a cigarette and then another one. I think I was half-way through the third when the sound of snow crunching underneath someone's boots caught my attention. I glanced across the porch, at the beaten path beneath it and there she was. Curly hair with snowflakes trapped in it. Flushed cheeks and reddened lips. Thick lashes that hid her eyes. Oh and a big, nasty shiner taking up a big chunk of her beautiful face.

She climbed on the porch, vigorously stomping snow off her boots while I took a drag from my cigarette, somehow inhaling her scent along with it. No perfume, no hair or skin products, nothing masking the smell of her skin that instantly made me think of hot chocolate. But her looks and scent couldn't top the magnetic pull of the energy surrounding her. It made me incapable of peeling my eyes away from her. It made me want to know her, speak to her. I couldn't explain those feelings, couldn't blame them on alcohol or boredom. It was her fault. Rose was irresistible.

I found myself fighting to find words to address her. Somehow, I ended up using her obvious and not particularly flattering traits to form a nickname I didn't know would stick for quite some time.

"Hey, Little Dhampir."

Through the conversation that followed I'd decided I liked her. She had a feistiness to her that reminded me of Kat. She was outspoken and tough. She wasn't easily charmed and that meant she was a challenge. I loved challenges. But then, she told me who she was meant to guard when she graduated and all of those things I'd noticed became unimportant because she was Rose Hathaway, Vasilisa Dragomir's best friend. She was my way in.

Alright, fine, settle down! I'll admit, getting chummy with her didn't hurt. She was one of the most gorgeous girls I'd seen after all. But, I promise, she wasn't my primary goal. Not at first at. Befriending her meant I could get to Lissa. They were as thick as thieves and shared a connection so rare and intriguing not a single person on this planet could claim to be indifferent towards it, Spirit User or not.

My patience was already running thin, so it was no surprise I found myself starving to learn more about them. My first step: pulling Rose into a Spirit dream. I couldn't look at her aura when I first saw her. I'd dulled my magic with alcohol. But when I brought her back to that porch and took a look at her again, I was blown away. See, aura's usually follow the complexity of someone's personality. If someone is plain, shallow or simple their aura shows it. Little colors, faint density. Follow this logic, figure it out on your own what Rose is like when I—, actually, when the younger version of me tells you what he saw:

I'd never seen anything like it. Her aura wasn't made of sparks. It wasn't a lenient cloud floating around her. It was a tsunami of colors. Radiant, vivid, hypnotizing. I was drawn to it like a moth, helplessly falling into the merciless flames she seemed immune to. In its essence, her aura was a warning. A STOP sign. If you ignored it, you risked heading straight into a car crash. And I took a risk. A big risk. I allowed the bright, passionate red streaked with vibrant orange to consume me. I enjoyed sinking into the dark, erotic purple that proved she was as wild as I'd assumed. I smiled at the lulling yellow that popped up when I made jokes or flirted with her. No one was perfect. The muddy blue and grey showed me sides of her I was sure she wouldn't be proud of. They also proved she wasn't as fearless as she wanted people to think.

It was exciting to see who Rose Hathaway was beneath her shield, learn those little details she had no idea I could easily see. Then, the eclipse happened. One minute she was this neon explosion of colors, the next she was... death. Black, menacing shadows wrapped around her so quickly I could do nothing but watch them snuff her light out. They were everywhere, they were inescapable. And when they settled down, I realized they were there to stay. Always dancing around her, surrounding the lively palette, threatening to take over.

Yep, as you can see, Rose was almost as big of a mess as me. A hell of a complex mess too. And, if you thought her aura was crazy in that dream, you should've seen it when I first ran into her and Dimitri. Shish! Oh, come on, not you too! Seriously, is there a single person on this freaking planet who doesn't swoon when I mention Dimitri Belikov? What was that Buttercup? Ha huh, see, my wife's got my back. Yep, sorry, no nicknames, GOT IT! You Dimitri lovers are really gonna get me in trouble. Don't worry though. I'll talk about your precious Russian Warlord soon enough. But, for now, back to Rose.

Rose in a bikini. Now that's a sight you don't forget easily. Or a sight you can stop from invading your dreams for quite some time after it. However, the night she and her friends came to the pool party, I had more important things to think about than Rose's swimming suit. Like Lissa. Not that I didn't make up for my lack of attention to Rose later. The perfumes I'd bought her were in a way my apology for using her without her even knowing it. The non-stop flirtations were, to her annoyance, my other way of 'making up' for it. Ultimately it was a fun and, at first, carefree dance between us.

I'd realized Rose had become important to me when she and the band of idiots I now call my friends took off to go to Spokane. Using my abilities to try to find her... well, I wouldn't do that for just anyone. Especially, after how long I'd tried to stay away from my powers and their toll. Sure, to Lissa and her, it probably seemed like I was using Spirit on a daily basis, but the reality was — I was still terrified of it. And, once she was rescued... okay, rescued isn't the word anyone should use in the same sentence with Rose's name, for their own sake mostly. I'm pretty sure she'd suckerpunch you for making her sound like a damsel. So instead, I'll say: once she was back from Spokane, something in her changed. I could see it clearly whenever I looked at her aura. She had several brushes with death over the course of her life and when I say brushes, I mean they mostly rubbed together like horny teenagers. Seeing someone she loved and even felt responsible for die... well, for her, that was something else entirely. And it happened more than once unfortunately, but we'll get to that later.

At first, I thought it was nothing more than plain old survivor's guilt that made the darkness following her around increase. Then again, nothing was ever really that simple when it came to Rose. It took some time, a lot of observing and investigative work that'd put Sherlock Holmes to shame, but in the end I realized her state could be blamed on more than the loss she'd suffered. It was Spirit. Its side-effects were tormenting her. Odd, huh? Understatement. She wasn't a Spirit User or even Moroi yet it was clear she was experiencing the hell Spirit brought on. Since she didn't wield magic and her only "access"to it was through her bond with Lissa, it wasn't hard to put two and two together. She was soaking up Lissa's madness and neither of them even knew it. Combine that with death's claws still hooked into her and you've got yourself a lethal combination.

I was terrified. I couldn't do anything to help Rose as she thrashed and begged us to make whatever was hurting her stop. The restricting shell of our plane became suffocatingly small when she started screaming, desperately trying to fight off her invisible assailants. The black circles around her aura spread and it felt like they'd wrap around the rest of us too, like they'd fill the plane from its tail to nose until there was nothing but darkness left. Was this what it'd be like? Would I be just as defenseless and paralyzed by my own mind when madness finally claimed it? Will I drag everyone down with me?

Yep, as you can see, Rose's breakdown after Victor Dashkov's trial made me think about what fate awaited me since I quickly realized she was only taking a part of Lissa's negativity. See, at that time, I was all alone. No sharing of Spirit's toll for me, no Sir. I was royally fucked and I hadn't even lost my mind yet... not entirely at least. I think.

Anyhow, most of you probably had enough of this dreadful talk so let me cut in with a little something else. To quote Dr. Shrink: Let's talk about feelings. Feelings are fickle. Good or bad. Weak or strong. Anticipated or surprising. I'd go on, but surely you've all felt them so you don't really need wordy elaborations. As soon as I developed them towards Rose, I was in trouble. Big trouble. Because they were strong. At times too strong even. And though they didn't exactly take me by surprise, they still struck me hard. I told you she and I had tangoed for a while and it was all fun and games at first. It was easy, amusing and, honestly, kind of liberating. But then I found myself paying attention to my own flirty comments, realizing I wanted them to have a bigger impact. I wanted Rose and, at some point, that desire turned into more than a challenge or fantasy of getting her into my bed.

As you might have noticed, I rarely denied myself anything. And, though I knew it was ultimately up to her whether something would happen between us or not, I was certain I wouldn't pass on having her if such opportunity was to arise. So, imagine my surprise when it was exactly what I did. I put my fast growing desires aside and resisted her when she had no resistance towards me at all. Why? Because I'd rather be bulldozed to death than force someone into something they don't truly want. See, the first time I came close to feeling her lips on mine was the time she'd asked me to compel her. Oh, but how I wanted her. I knew it wasn't real, but seeing her look up at me as if she was worshipping me, parting her lips while she waited for mine to conquer them... maybe she was the one being compelled but I was just as charmed and hypnotized. Still, I couldn't, wouldn't have her until she was the one who wanted me and not her manipulated mind. I just didn't realize how long that would actually take. I know some of you may argue she'd never want me, at that moment or any other in the future, just as I've tried to convince myself a few times to make what had happened between us later easier on my broken heart. But she did want me, just not as much as Dimitri. But I also know now that actually turned out good for the both of us.

Back to the dreadful talk: Rose was a wreck when Dimitri died. Oh right, you little devils already know he didn't die die. He simply took a short vacation from aging and having a soul. Still, to this very day, I'd never seen Rose in the same state she was in after the attack on Saint Vlad's. And I don't want to. Ever.

It was then that I was reminded of what it felt like to be selfless. And I was, despite what you may think. Sure, I asked her to give me a chance once she came back, but that wasn't why I gave her money. I funded her plans because I didn't know how else to help her. It was impossible to take her pain away. It was (at least I thought it was) impossible to bring Dimitri back. But if going away would help her heal, I was willing to go as far as piggybacking her to the other side of the planet.

Oh, fun fact, it was while Rose was on her Russian egg hunt, as I like to call it, that she'd met my lovely future wife. Yes, I know you're well aware of that, but we all also know how difficult it is for me not to mention the love of my life whenever I get a chance. Anyhow, while Rose was on her crazy journey I kept in touch with her through Spirit dreams. I won't bore you with details because there might be one too many of them, but those dreams were all I could do not to go insane from worry and longing. That was definitely a good time for me to start admitting I was hooked on her and she was pretty hooked on... endorphins. Yep, you can blame your precious Dimitri for that or, at least, the not so charming and nice version of him.

From everything I've told you so far you know I for one wasn't judging Rose, but I was past being worried. Getting rid of an addiction was tremendously hard on any given day, but under the circumstances she was in, it must have been a nightmare. But, I did say she was a fighter, didn't I? She made it through all of it, killing (as we initially thought) her lover and coming back home. Funny thing, I picked her up from the airport and guess what? That time around I was the one with a shiner on my eye. We made quite a pair. No, seriously, we still do. Just not as lovers, but as friends. After everything, good and bad, Rose and I discovered it was awesome to be just friends. It took us... okay, me, a bit of time to get to that realization but I'm glad I did. I love Rose, truly, and she's one hell of a friend to have too. But before we became friends (for the second time), we were something else. Want to know how I managed to finally take her out on a date? You already do to some extent, but here's something special for those of you who've stuck around so far:

Why dating me is the BEST idea ever

By Adrian Ivashkov

1. I'm awesome. No really, I am. You've got to know that by now!

2. I'm almost as pretty as you so we'd make a gorgeous couple.

3. I vow to continuously flirt with you (even when you think I'm overstepping) 'cause I'm a sound believer in keeping things interesting.

4. I'm a great partner to have when playing board games... I swear, I can kick serious ass and I know how much you like to win.

5. I'll try to keep alcohol consumption to a minimum, I promise. And I'm just as fun sober as I am drunk. Maybe even more fun.

6. Because I know your dislike for them: I'll give up cigarettes. Unless I really, really need one. How's that for devotion?

7. You do remember I told you I'll heal amputees one day? I think that's pretty impressive.

8. I'll unleash romantic surprises every week, such as: an impromptu picnic, roses, or a trip to Paris - but not actually any of those things because now they're not surprises.

9. You have no idea how good I am at kissing (and other related activities) and if you date me you'll find out. Hmm, maybe I should've put this at the beginning of this list and just left it at that. It's a really good selling point.

10. I made it to a double digit even though I hate homework which this totally feels like... that's ought to count for something, right?

Okay, yeah, I could've done a better job at this, but HEY it did the trick. She gave me a chance to prove myself and I believe I've done well. I must have because I'm sure there wouldn't have been a relationship for me to talk about if I didn't. And, in the course of a few months, what a relationship it was. Sure, it wasn't always great. We had our problems. I'd say they were the same kind all couples have, but it'd be a lie. I'm pretty sure most couples don't argue over undead lovers and jailbreaks for starters.

When we began dating I discovered a side of her I never knew existed. She'd kill me if she could hear me say this, but Rose could be quite... shy. For someone who looked ready to bite half of your thigh off for foreplay, it sure surprised me to see her gentle side shining through. It was adorable how flustered she could get. At first I thought she simply wasn't used to the idea of us dating, but soon realized she was more insecure than she'd let on. Give her a Strigoi to fight and she'll be fearless. Let your hands wander where they shouldn't and she'll blush until you mistake her for a strawberry. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised though. Most stories about her were nothing more than false and empty tales of envious people. But Rose was still Rose. I didn't let that small, for the lack of a better word, weakness fool me. She could kick ass like nobody's business.

Okay, I really tried not to, but... I just have to tell you about the first time she did something I didn't expect, but secretly hoped for. Not because I'm kinky (though I admit I am) but because it meant something entirely different to me. I know what you're thinking and no, it wasn't her letting me bite her. It was what she did after graduation. That was the moment I actually began believing what we had will last. It was also when I started lying to myself so much I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. Because I wanted it to be true. I was desperate to hold onto the idea that she was over Dimitri. That she was all in. That she was mine.

We were walking back from the party, hand in hand, chatting about... hell, I don't even remember what, when she halted midstep. Her abrupt stop made me still too. I turned to ask her what was wrong, but before I could speak she threw herself at me. With her, the line between fighting and loving was pretty thin. I guess Dimitri could be blamed for that too. Sometimes when we were making out it was more like we were wrestling. Knowing she felt comfortable with that, I played along. And she appreciated my efforts. We both knew she could overpower me and yet she'd often let me win. But, when she jumped me that night, I actually thought she might really want to beat me up that time around. If not for her lips on mine, perhaps I would've even tried to fight her off. She kissed me with more passion than ever before and, when she pulled back and looked up at me, her eyes darker than usual, I shivered when she said: "Take me to your room."

I didn't need to be told twice. The next thing I knew, we slipped into one of those cliche movie scenes: running and laughing, kissing each other dizzy while I tried to find my keys, tumbling through the door and kicking it shut, tearing each other's clothes off and then... the cold shower came. She ripped herself out of my grasp, blushing fiercely as she mumbled: "I, I don't want—. I mean I do, just not—."

Her words trailed off and she looked away. I took a step towards her and picked up one of her wild locks, twirling it around my finger before tucking it behind her ear. I waited until her eyes flickered up to say: "I'm not in a rush."

I didn't have to elaborate. We understood each other completely. I wanted to take things further with her, but at her pace. She was more than worth the wait. I kissed the tip of her nose and she giggled, her fingers coming up to curl around my neck. She tiptoed her way to a kiss and then whispered: "You're awesome."

"Which is exactly what I stated in my dating proposal. It was the first thing on the list Little Dhampir. Pay attention."

She laughed before adding: "What was number 9 again?"

"This", I replied and then I kissed her again.

We didn't go too far that night, but it was the first time Rose slept in my bed. She glued to me and nuzzled against my chest. I played with her hair until she drifted off. I got high on her scent, the feel of her heated skin against mine, her closeness. And then, just as I was about to fall asleep as well, I heard her mumble something. I knew she was dreaming and wasn't aware of what she had spoken, but my eyes still snapped open and my heart skipped a beat. I love you. Those three words made my mind burst and I quickly found myself with a decision to make. And I decided to chose a lie. It was a dangerous lie, but I convinced myself she was dreaming of... well, anyone but Dimitri. It didn't have to be me. Not yet. I just didn't want it to be him. So, it wasn't him as far as I was concerned. That was the start of my downfall, though I didn't know it yet. Because it was him. It was always him. Everything she did was either for him or Lissa. No one else mattered. Not that much.

Now, if you wondered what I did when Rose went on her second "Save Dimitri" mission, here is your answer. Nothing. I let it happen. I didn't stop her, not that I or anyone else could. I didn't exactly help her either. I just tagged along. I kept telling myself it would be fine. We'd be fine. I repeated it over and over, until the last whispers of warning disappeared from my head. And when she succeeded and brought him back, I continued deluding myself. I was a goddamn fool. Contrary to what I was trying to make myself believe though, I accused her of the opposite which I admit was even more foolish. As a dream-walker, I should've known the difference between reality and imagination, but as a half-lunatic, I guess the line between the two became too blurry to pick out. What certainly didn't help was that she chose to hide the truth from me. I could've sought it out. One glimpse at her aura and I would've known everything I needed to know. But I was afraid, of what I'd see, of losing her. So I stayed blind.

The last thing that tipped the scales, the reason Rose and I stayed together was—, I really need you to settle down ma'am! I promise, I'll keep it PG 13. My wife is in the other room for fuck's sake. And yes, I'm going to talk about the best non-sex or at least the best for 21 year old Adrian. See, it wasn't just about the act itself. Sure, I enjoyed everything preceding the moment my fangs pierced her skin and then fell into a delirious bliss when it happened. However, the more important thing was the meaning behind her actions. She let Lissa bite her to survive. Wanted Dimitri to do it because he got her hooked. But with me... I knew she didn't do it to please me or because she felt obliged to give me something. She did it for herself as much as for me. It was a show of trust that made me trust her back. It was an unspoken promise that she'd try to put me first. And she did try, but fate had different plans. Also, as usual, I didn't even have time to relish in that moment because my life went to shit pretty soon after it. Like literally the next morning.

You think it's bad when you hear your girlfriend's been hauled of to imprisonment while you were sleeping. Trust me, it's even worse when you hear the reason for it. The Queen is dead. Those words nearly killed me. I tried to keep it together for my friends, for Rose, for everyone really. But I'd lost the person who cared for me the most. I'd lost someone I loved beyond words. I'd lost my rock. And for what? Why would anyone kill her? Sure, she wasn't the sweetest, but she didn't deserve to die. Especially not like that. However, I didn't have a lot of time to grieve her. Perhaps it was for the best. Distractions always proved useful to me, despite making things more difficult to deal with once they were gone.

Seriously, name one person who'd willingly help their girlfriend escape prison and run off with her former lover. Go ahead. I'll wait. No? I didn't think so. I guess that means I remain the proud president of Club Idiot all by my lonesome. Don't get me wrong. I didn't, for a second, regret helping her escape what would've quickly turned into death row, but I regretted not going with her every day we were apart. I was yet again forced to only see her in her dreams and each time I did, it got harder and harder to let her go. And the weird thing is, the fact that Dimitri was with her wasn't what bothered me the most. Actually, I was glad he was because I knew he'd protect her with his life. What I actually found impossible to deal with was that she was away when I needed her the most. Because when all this shit hit the fan, I realized I'd been lied to by not one, but two people I loved and thought of as my true family. My mother and aunt had more secrets than I could comprehend. I suddenly felt like there was a crazy party going on and I wasn't invited. That was definitely something I wasn't used to. I was betrayed and I had no one to turn to.

Now, remember how I told you I avoided looking at Rose's aura. Well, sometimes it was impossible to do it. And it's just my luck that I'd unknowingly done it right after she had sex with her not so ex lover. Oh JOY! If that wasn't a hint she was no longer sticking to her 'stay away from Dimitri and be with Adrian' plan than I have no idea what was. But, I told you, I was a fool. Just before I left what was to be the last Spirit dream she and I would share for a while, I kissed her. What was that kiss like? How did it feel? What did it tell me? Well, I guess you'll know when I say it was the last time I kissed her like that too.

I ran from the truth a long time, but it was bound to catch up. I could tell you how I felt when I was smacked with it, when I saw Dimitri and Rose... but I won't! Not now. I'll save that story for another time. The tale of Adrian Ivashkov's heartbreak will have to wait. I'll tell you this though. Despite how I felt and what I'd said to her when we officially broke up —I loved her. And the pain of her unfaithfulness was nothing, NOTHING compared to the agony I'd felt when I thought I'd lose her and not because of Dimitri, but because of her getting shot.

I remember that moment, every detail of it: the gun going off, Rose falling despite Lissa's attempts to catch her, Lissa's screams when they dragged her away, hands grabbing me as I tried to fight my way to Rose, someone pulling me back while I begged them to let me help her. I remember being on lockdown with Lissa, pacing back and forth as I prayed to... hell, whoever would listen, for her to be alright. For her to stay. And I swore on my life, I'd do anything, give anything if death allowed her to escape it one last time. And it did, it let her slide. If it didn't, who knows what our lives would've been like. When I say our, I mean all of us who love her, all of us who were touched and changed by her.

Now, I know this might seem like an abrupt way to stop (I'm not gonna lie, it is), but I've decided to conclude this day by skipping waaaaay up ahead. This isn't the last time I'll talk about Rose Hath—, sorry, Belikova. First off, I owe you a story about our break up. Second, which is certainly way more important to you all if I'd learned anything about my auditorium, I owe you a story about the one and only Dimitri Belikov. And let's face it, you can't talk about Dimitri and not include Rose. Lastly, hers and my life had ways of tangling and intercepting quite a lot so I'm pretty sure I'll be obliged to mention her every now and then anyways.

Cue epic background instrumental for the waaaaay ahead part:

Years have passed, she has grown. Her face, those lines that formed around her lips and eyes when she smiled — tell-tale to her age, they paled in comparison to what she still had within her. One day, when she takes her last breath, even though I probably won't be there to see it, I know there is going to be a child in those old, dark eyes. I'm sure it will be there, smiling back at the person she'll spend her last moments with, giving the world one last victorious bow.

Wow, I can't believe it's already been a year since I started writing this little monster! It's taking me forever, I know, but this is the story I'm most proud of so I'm not rushing it! It's very special cause it was dedicated to and inspired by a VERY special person who's bday is today! Happy birthday Gaya, you wonderful woman! I hope this year of your life is 10 times better than the last and I hope all of your wishes come true!

Special thanks to my amazing helper Megan! As always, I couldn't have done this without you!

Songs for this chapter: 1. Tribulation - Matt Maeson (the ultimate Rodrian song) 2. Like That - Bea Miller 3. Tightrope - The Score 4. Over and Over - Three Days Grace 5. Car Crash - Three Days Grace 6. Naked - James Arthur 7. Angel - Theory of a Deadman 8. Lonely Boy - The Black Keys 9. How You Remind me - Nickelback 10. Chains - Nick Jonas

Thanks for reading! Reviews and PM's with feedback are always appreciated!

XOXO T!