I - Tell the World I'm Coming Home

It is a big world, full of things that steal your breath and fill your belly with fire...But where you go when you leave isn't as important as where you go when you come home."- Lindsay Eagar, Hour of the Bees

•••

As the mechanism inside of the lock on her front door released with a familiar click, Bird pulled her key from the slot and pushed open the door to her townhouse.

The setting sun to her back cast a stretched out the shadow of her body down the entrance hallway past where she stood frozen in place.

"Bird?" Her driver questioned.

"Hmm?" She hummed, pulled from her thoughts at the sound of her name.

"Your bags?" He repeated, wondering where she wanted them at.

"Oh, just, uh…" She breathed, seeming frazzled as she finally stepped over the threshold inside of her house and flipped on the lights, "Just leave them in here."

She stood in place off to the side, watching as he lugged her travel bags inside, all seven of them to be exact.

Which was precisely six more than she'd left town with.

With a nod of thanks, she wished him a nice night and shut the door behind him as he left.

She'd kicked her heels off somewhere down the hallway as she made her way into the kitchen and flicked the lights on in there. Her eyes were immediately drawn to something shiny that reflected the bright lighting from above laid out on the kitchen island.

Her heart sank when she realized it was a set of keys; the keys to her house.

At what during the two months she was gone did Jim finally give up the hope of her coming back and separate those keys from the others he owned?

Walking over to the refrigerator, she opened it to reveal a few leftover bottles from his brand of beer.

Then she headed for the stairs, walking at a slower than usual pace until she reached the master bedroom they'd shared.

One of the doors to the spacious walk-in closet stood wide open.

Like a ghost had been there; a poltergeist rattling doorknobs and leaving all the cabinets open.

Jim's clothes were gone.

Despite her owning no less than four times the amount he did and the absence of his belongings being relatively small in the larger picture, it was the vacancy of what was his that left the closet looking and feeling empty.

A walk around the bathroom made the house even emptier; gone were his electric razor and the near empty bottle of cologne she'd grown accustomed to seeing on the counter.

Jim wasn't there, probably hadn't been for quite some time now -and yet there were still traces of him everywhere.

His brand of beer.

The bottle of his body wash still in the shower.

A charging cable to his phone still plugged into the outlet next to the bed.

Bird found those little goodbyes all over the house that night.

Small reminders of how things used to be; of the life that was.

A time capsule of sorts.

No wonder Jim left, she thought; he must have felt her ghost there still haunting him in the days after she'd taken off.

And now here she stood alone in the figurative rubble of what she'd left behind.

Wondering at which point in the last sixty days he'd finally give up on her.

It had been six months since they'd went after Hugo Strange and nearly all lost their lives inside of Arkham.

That was when they'd first confessed their love for one another and later diffused a bomb which saved countless lives.

That was six months ago.

26 weeks.

182 days.

4,380 hours.

262,800 minutes.

15,768,000 seconds.

Approximately, of course.

Bird knew this because she'd looked it up on her way back to Gotham on her new phone.

Trying to pinpoint the moment where everything had gone wrong, but some tasks are far too impossible to accomplish and this was one of them.

It wasn't any one single moment.

No span of seconds grouped into minutes.

It wasn't abrupt; more like the tarnishing of once fine silver.

A slow decay.

Two months.

8 weeks.

60 days.

1460 hours.

87,600 minutes.

5,256,000 seconds.

Approximately, since the night she'd packed a bag and left town.

Since she stood on the bridge staring across the dark water to the illuminated city skyline at night.

In the same spot she'd stood with Falcone once before and declared Gotham her home as she'd chose to stay.

She wasn't sure why she'd stopped there by the bridge two months ago.

Her lungs had collected enough of the city's stale air to last lifetimes after all.

Maybe she thought there would be something there to keep her leaving this time around too.

After all, she had more to lose now, but she couldn't stay.

So she sent a group text to Jim, Oswald and her secretary Charmaine -letting them know she was leaving town.

That she had to go but didn't want them to worry about her.

She'd typed it all out; which really only equaled out to a few lines on the screen, distorted under the droplets of tears that had splashed onto her phone.

Then she hit send, exhaled for what felt like the first time in so long and threw her phone into the river.

-And then she got back in the car and left the city lights to fade in the rear-view.

••• flashback •••

"Stop it!" Bird yelled.

Wriggling out of Jim's arms she pushed him back away from her, but not before he'd managed to snatch the glove off of her left hand.

Quickly spinning around, she turned away from him and looked down to her injured hand, then cradled it against her stomach.

"Let me see it." Jim's voice had quieted significantly since the screaming match they'd been in for the last several minutes.

"It's fine." She cleared her throat and tried to steady her breathing, but her chest was heaving up and down, "I'm fine. It's -it's nothing. I'm fine."

"Bird." His voice was even softer now as he stepped up behind her and reached out to gently lay a hand on her shoulder, but hesitated.

For the last few months she'd become increasingly uncomfortable with him touching her.

Letting out the breath he'd been holding, he walked around to try and face her, but she turned away from him again.

"Come on." Jim said, laying his hand on her upper arm and feeling her body tense from the contact, "Let me see."

Defeated, Bird took her time in turning back around to face him.

"It's nothing-"

She tried to excuse again, but he'd taken hold of her hand and was already inspecting the injuries.

The skin on her middle finger and her thumb had rubbed off, both digits had open wounds that looked like they were on the verge of getting infected.

"It's not nothing." Jim argued, keeping hold of her hand so she couldn't just walk away from him again.

They stared at each other in silence.

Him wanting to know why she's been hurting herself; all while she looked more lost by the second.

The last few months had been rocky between them, to say the least.

She'd been keeping something from him.

At first, he'd thought it had something to do with her and her brother trying to find out about the clandestine organization they'd learned of the night they'd all went into Arkham after Hugo Strange; the night the professor tried to set off a nuclear bomb, but now he wasn't so sure.

He knew of her past.

The sexual assault she'd lived through as a teenager and so he was always mindful of the trauma.

Knowing better than to take it personally if she flinched away from his touch at times.

But it really hadn't been an issue at the beginning of their relationship. She'd seemed to have worked through most of it before they got together.

Then gradually she'd start to freeze when he'd touch her and refused to talk about it when prompted.

Her compulsion to keep items in sets of threes had spiraled and over the last month, she'd snap at him for moving anything in the house away from the spot she'd placed it in.

She was nearly impossible to be around on a day-to-day basis now.

Flying from one emotional extreme to the next and back so fast it gave him whiplash.

Bird was drowning.

And Jim felt like he was just standing on the shore watching the waves pull her under deeper.

He wanted to help her, but he didn't have a clue where to start.

It was close to a month ago that he'd noticed she seemed to pick up a new nervous tick.

She'd started to rub her finger and thumb together absentmindedly.

Pretty soon she was wearing gloves around the clock and he had a feeling it must have gotten rather gruesome lately because she refused to let him see her without gloves on.

He'd just had to physically wrestle it off of her.

"Bird!" Jim loudly said as she tried to jerk out of his grip, "Why are you hurting yourself."

"I'm not!" She screamed back, forcefully jerking away from him.

Looking down to her hand, she sighed in defeat.

"Not on purpose."

"I'm…" She stammered, "I'm doing good things. The shelters opened and we're getting women and children off the streets. Since I took over the community outreach chair at Wayne Enterprises, we've raised twice as much money and funneled it back into the community to those in need. I'm good at my job-"

Her breathing had grown ragged, she had to stop talking and gasp for air.

"I know you are." Jim nodded.

He knew how seriously she'd taken her position within the company.

"You don't understand!" She argued, shaking her head frantically back and forth.

"Then tell me." He pleaded, carefully stepping closer to her, "Help me to understand."

Honesty weighed in his voice, "Because I don't know what to do here."

She looked up; her eyes locking with his as a sad smile turned up a single corner of her mouth.

Running her tongue over her chapped lips, she spread the bitter taste in her mouth around.

Of course, he didn't understand.

How could he?

"I'm not like you." She managed to say, trying to sort out the thoughts racing through her mind.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept for more than twenty minutes at once.

She'd had heart palpitations for days on end, making her all too well aware of how unsteady the beat had been.

Sometimes it was a struggle to force air into her lungs.

Knowing she was falling apart only made the reality of it that much harder to swallow.

It's one thing to spiral into a breakdown, but it's a different thing entirely to feel the whole downfall.

Watching your own feet moving you closer to the edge.

Step by step.

Ever closer to falling off a ledge and somehow being completely unable to stop yourself.

"What?" Jim's voice was airy.

Breathless even.

"I'm not wired the same, Jim." Bird's entire body seemed to shrink at least a few inches.

Slouched in complete defeat.

Up until this very moment in time, she'd thought she could get herself back on track.

Tomorrow.

That's what she'd been saying for a month now.

That tomorrow would be different.

… Only it never was.

"You see someone hurting and you want to help them. Your first instinct is to protect other people-"

"What does this have to do with anything?" Jim asked.

His tongue growing dry from how long he'd kept his mouth open waiting for a response.

"My job requires me to be like that. To think like a normal person." Bird explained, "But I'm not. I'm not normal. I have to work at it."

Seeing the stunned and confused expression on his face, Bird looked up at the bright light on the ceiling and tried to focus in an attempt to keep any tears from spilling out.

"I care about you and my brother and the few friends I have and then beyond that…" Her voice trailed off, "Beyond that, I have to work at it."

The confusion fled his eyes and their blue hues took on a different expression entirely.

Fear, maybe?

With a sense of dread?

Bird wasn't sure.

"Work at it how?" Jim questioned.

"By remembering." Bird admitted, a single tear breaking free and making a line down her cheek, "By remembering what it felt like to be helpless. To be fragile and human and broken."

Another tear joined in the same trail the first one had left and she pinned her eyes shut so tightly her entire face ached.

Jim watched her, his mouth agape yet again.

He'd gotten the answer he'd been asking for.

Complete honesty.

Now all the cards were on the table.

Every strange behavior she'd had for the last month clicking into place and finally it all made sense.

Every last bit of it.

His gaze fell to the floor, unsure of what to say in response.

Slowly, his eyes lifted, but on their way to her face, he caught sight of her left hand.

Down at her side as she rubbed her finger and thumb together repeatedly.

Drops of blood splashed onto the hardwood floor by her feet, but she didn't seem to be aware of it.

It was as if she couldn't even feel the pain she was inflicting on herself.

"I'm sorry." He breathed, walking up to her once again and taking hold of her hand -only this time it was to stop her from causing more damage, "I didn't know… I should have figured it out, but I didn't and that's my fault."

This might not have been what he'd expected, but he wasn't going to give up.

He wasn't about to walk away from the woman he loved.

The person who'd refused to give up on him when he'd been in Blackgate; during the times he'd given up on himself.

The one who'd stood beside him at his darkest moments.

He knew he didn't say it enough, but Bird meant the world to him.

And now that they were on the same page.

Now that he knew what had sent her hurling towards a breakdown, they'd fix it.

They'd tackle the problem together.

The same way they'd faced down everything for months on end now.

"I don't know what to do." Bird spoke.

The admission sounded foreign in her own voice.

"We'll figure it out." Jim promised her.

Reaching around and pulling her against him, he held her snugly in his embrace.

He knew how much she hated breaking down. The way she'd just do just about anything to keep from crying in front of other people -even him.

"We'll figure it out." He repeated.

His hand cradled the back of her head as she slumped against him.

Giving up the fight and letting him hold them both up.

"First." He began, "You need to take some time off work-"

The words had barely left his mouth before Bird shot them down.

"No." Her voice as muffled against his shirt, "I can't do that."

If there was one thing she'd been aware of since her first day on the job, it was that many people were waiting for her to fail.

It would be a win for them if she gave even the slightest hint of not being fit and capable enough to do all she was expected to.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself." Jim argued, his arms tightening some as he felt her trying to pull away from him, "I can't keep watching you do this yourself."

"Then leave."

Her words came out etched in ice.

Carved with the sharpest of blades.

Getting both hands between them, she pushed him back enough to break free of the embrace.

"If you don't want to be here then go!" Her voice raised, breathing changed and he saw her cheeks growing flushed.

"That's not what I meant!" He tried to get her to listen to him, but it was useless now.

Anything else he said would be fruit of the poisonous tree.

Tainted by having convinced herself that he meant something entirely different from what he was actually trying to say.

If Bird had mastered anything, it was the art of pushing people away and convincing herself that she'd be better off on her own.

But isolating herself only served to send her deeper down into the pits of despair.

"I want to be here." Jim didn't mince his words, hoping that he could somehow push through the walls she'd suddenly put up, "I want to be here." He repeated, "I want you-"

"Fine." Bird dismissed, her formally frantic tone of voice had now lowered to an eerily calm, "You stay. I'll go."

••• present day •••

"Why can't we see the escapee?" A reporter questioned, stepping to the head of the crowd gathered in the GCPD headquarters.

"Because crews are still picking up the pieces." Captain Barnes answered.

With one hand on his cane and the other on the railing of the interior balcony overlooking the first floor of the police station.

It had taken months of hospitalization and physical therapy, but he'd finally been approved to get back to work.

Though physically chasing the bad guys and kicking in doors would likely be a thing of the past.

He was told there would be lasting and probable permanent complications from the severe wounds he'd sustained the night Azrael had attacked the station.

He'd expected to have a rough go of it when came back to work, but this was far beyond what he could have imagined.

The entire city was on edge knowing that Arkham escapees were running loose -especially considering most of them looked the part of monsters straight from nightmares; thanks to Professor Strange's experiments.

"This isn't the first time that a bounty hunter has apprehended an escapee. Is the GCPD incapable of handling this threat themselves?" Another reporter pointed out, their pen already pressing into the pad of paper awaiting a response.

Bird made her way through the back of the crowd of reporters and concerned citizens until she found a spot by an unattended desk towards the rear of the room.

"Only a handful of these escapees have been brought in by bounty hunters. The vast majority were apprehended by GCPD." Barnes immediately was defensive at the insinuation that his officers weren't able to keep Gotham City safe.

The reporters were only allowed a few more questions before Mayor James stepped forward from where he'd been standing behind Barnes' and addressed the crowd himself on how there should be confidence in the GCPD.

But also that if everyday citizens wanted to help out then, of course, they'd be rewarded monetarily.

"Bird."

Glancing over when she heard her name, she offered up a smile as she saw Butch walking towards her.

"Butch, hey." She greeted.

"When did you get back?" He questioned.

"Last night." Bird answered, "I thought I might find Jim here, but…"

Her voice trailed off into a sigh as she looked around the station but didn't see him anywhere.

"Gordon?" Butch repeated back with a lazy shrug, "Might catch him here picking up a check now and then. I think it was him who caught the Arkham guy last night."

"He's one of the bounty hunters they're talking about?" Bird's eyebrows lowered.

When she'd gotten back to town and saw that he'd moved out of her townhouse, she'd assumed he'd gotten his job back with GCPD.

Though now she knew that wasn't the case.

"Hell…" Butch breathed, "Five thousand a pop. I'm surprised there aren't more people out there trying to get a quick payday."

It took him a small while until he was able to read the expression on her face and see how thrown off she seemed by the news.

"You didn't know?" He realized.

"No." She cleared her throat and waved a dismissive hand through the air, "I just figured after I left that he'd go back to being a detective-"

"You're tellin' me you didn't keep an eye on him?" Butch's filter between his brain and mouth faltered as he brought up, "You rigged Dent's house with cameras after the two of you called it quits."

"That was different." She quickly and harshly defended.

She hadn't checked on anyone since she left town.

For those two months she hadn't spoken to anyone in Gotham, it was just better that way.

It was easier not to miss her life there if she didn't keep constant reminders around of everything she'd left behind.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Bird asked as she looked back over at him.

"Oh, I'm here with Penguin." He explained, nodding over to the side.

Leaning forward to see around him, Bird caught sight of her best friend, he was standing by the exit, his suit flawless as usual and he was trying out a new hairstyle,

His intense eyes were locked back on her, face tensed into a scowl.

"He's giving me the murder eyes." Bird sighed and leaned back to where she'd been standing.

She'd expected some static when she got back to the city, but she'd hoped at the very least that someone would be happy to see her again.

"He'll get it over it." Butch assured her, "It's mainly this Fish coming back to life business that's got him so rattled."

"Still?" She asked, getting a nod from Butch in response.

The night that Bird and Jim had stopped the bomb from going off, Fish Mooney had stolen a bus to escape and it turned out the bus was filled with Strange's monsters.

That same night Oswald had gone after the bus planning to exact revenge on Strange for how he'd messed with his head in Arkham, but had found Fish instead.

He'd been so sure the moment he saw her face again that she was going to kill him for what he'd done to her, but she hadn't.

She left him alive and it had made Oswald ever the more paranoid about what her motives must be.

"And the fact you told him you were leaving town in the same text you sent your secretary." Butch added.

"I had to leave." Bird defended her actions, "And I couldn't come to say bye to him in person, because I'd have changed my mind."

He'd have begged her to stay, she knew he wasn't above sending her on guilt trips or trying to manipulate her to get what he wanted and she wasn't even going to chance that.

"Why is Hugo Strange the only one who's been arrested?"

"What about the rumors that Indian Hill is a Wayne Enterprise facility?"

"And how many more of these escapees are at large?"

Bird's attention was pulled back to the sea of reporters firing questions at the mayor -yet no one would let him get a word in to answer.

"The situation is firmly in hand!" Mayor James finally yelled over the noise.

"Liar!" Oswald shouted.

When everyone turned around to see who was yelling, Oswald stepped forward and the crowd parted for him.

Cameras flashes momentarily blinded him and the T.V crews pushed their microphones in his direction.

Pausing for both the pictures and for dramatic effect, he then started to walk through where the floor had opened for him, "My name is Oswald Cobblepot-"

"We know who you are Penguin." Barnes loudly exclaimed, "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" He echoed, "I want you to tell the truth to the people of Gotham."

Turning slightly to get a better view of the crowd and glancing over to see Bird again, he continued, "They would have us believe there is no danger, but I was there the night those creatures broke out of Indian Hill. I saw them and I saw who's leading them."

He made his way towards to the front of the room as he spoke until a reporter stepped in his way and asked, "Are you saying the escapees are organized?"

"Hello!" He called out sarcastically, "Yes, that's what I'm saying."

"There is absolutely nothing to support that theory." Mayor James acted quickly to try and shut that topic of discussion down.

"I told the police who to look for!" Oswald cried out with such conviction he was practically shaking where he stood, "I begged them time and again and they have done nothing! So now I am here to speak directly to the good people of Gotham."

Turning around he stood just in front of the platform where Barnes and the mayor were, he faced down the crow of reporters and announced, "The enemy's name is Fish Mooney."

A low gasp spread through the room and Barnes' pointed out, "Mooney? She hasn't been seen in close to six months. She's either long gone or she's dead."

With a bitter laugh, Oswald replied, "I wish I shared your simple belief."

Immediately spinning back to face the reporters, he added, "She is a criminal. She is a murderer. And now God knows what kind of monster Hugo Strange has turned her into. I implore every citizen of Gotham; if you love your family, if you love your children… find Fish Mooney. Until then no one is safe."

By the end of his plea, you could have heard a pin drop anywhere in the station, the room was in utter silence. The reporters hanging on his every word.

With a smirk, Bird shook her head and whispered, "Well played, Oswald. Well played."

It was brilliant really to set the entire city on a witch hunt for their former boss.

There was no rock she'd be able to hide under without being seen after the news that night and the papers the next morning.

Having said his piece, Oswald made his way around the now buzzing crowd -leaving behind a very pissed off Mayor James to deal with them.

"Hey." Butch said as he nudged Bird's arm and nodded towards the far set of stairs leading down from where the captain's office was.

"What-" Bird started to ask until she saw what, more like who, he was pointing out; it was Jim.

With an appreciative nod to Butch, she turned and started to push her way through the tail end of the crowd to make her way over in his direction; still not entirely sure what to say to him yet.

A fact that eventually brought her to a stop before she made it all the way over to him.

Butch walked past her to meet back up with Oswald.

"Hello, Jim." Oswald greeted him.

"Oswald." Jim answered with a sigh; as if he had far more important things to do then stand there and speak to him.

"I'm surprised you haven't caught Mooney. I hear you're quite the bounty hunter these days." He said with a smile.

"You haven't made it worth my while." Jim countered, glancing over at him before he turned to leave.

"Ooh, tough guy now." Butch taunted, but Jim didn't stop.

He didn't turn around or look back -until he heard what Oswald said next.

"Bird." Oswald finally spoke to his best friend who he noticed seemed to be hanging back away from them. His guess was she was about to turn and flee in the opposite direction right before he said anything, "Happy to be home?"

Bird's eyes moved from where Oswald was smirking at her to where Jim had stopped just steps away from the exit.

"I don't know yet." Bird finally answered his question.

"Let me know how that turns out." He said in a snippy tone before calling on Butch to follow him.

When Bird looked back to Jim she saw he'd finally turned back to look her way.

"Hi." Bird finally said when all other words or thoughts seemed to evade her at the moment.

His eyes locked with hers, his forehead lined as he answered back, "Hi."

The eye contact was brief, Jim was the one who broke it first, looking away from her with a pained expression on his face.

It took her longer to look away from him.

He looked different than when she'd last seen him.

His usually clean-shaven face was a little scruffy, his hair was combed back and a little longer then she remembered, he was even wearing a black leather jacket.

Apparently wanting to look the part of the rogue bounty hunter he was playing.

And if it wasn't for the brokenness in his expression she'd have thought it was a good look on him.

"How-" Bird started to ask before she cleared her throat and took a few steps closer, "How are you?"

"Great." He answered back with a smile that was all teeth and no emotion.

And unlike Bird, he stayed where he was standing and didn't make an attempt to move any closer.

"Really?" One of her eyebrows darted upwards.

"Really." He answered back with a tone just as empty as the smile.

"You, uh…" She stepped even closer and lowered her voice, "You always carry a flask around in your pocket when you're doing so great?"

His eyes darted up from the floor to her face, but before he could even question how she knew, she raised a hand and gently patted the pocket where the metal flask was.

With a small shrug, she answered the question he hadn't asked, "Lucky guess."

He'd started drinking more and more when things started to go downhill between them.

She hadn't missed the change when he'd gone from a few beers a night to seven and then onto the hard stuff not long before she'd taken off.

"You sure you're okay?" Bird pushed.

Knowing that neither of them wanted to have this conversation inside the police station, but she'd have settled for angry stares and flared nostrils over barren smiles.

He stared back at her, wondering where she'd been for the last two months, but not having it in him to care enough to ask.

Her skin was lightly tanned, the freckles spanning her nose darker than he remembered and her hair looked a little lighter.

He deduced she'd probably been on a beach somewhere.

Must be nice to just take off on a vacation like that.

He couldn't bite back the bitter taste on his tongue.

There was so much he wanted to say to her, but not a word of it would come out.

"See you around, Bird." Jim finally said.

He didn't even give her a chance to reply before he turned and left.

Closing her eyes, she blew out a breath and rubbed her face, running her hands through her hair before resting them on her neck.

She thought she'd prepared herself for this situation.

Part of her reservations about returning to Gotham was the fear that maybe the people she left behind wouldn't want her back.

But she'd tried to chase those thoughts away.

Hoping that at the very least they'd be happy she was doing better than when she left; that maybe they could understand why she had to go and give her a chance to set things right.

"What are you doing?"

Hearing Bullock's voice, Bird let her arms fall to her sides and turned to face him.

She readied herself for one of his signature smart-ass remarks, figuring he'd take a few jabs at her to make up for lost time.

Instead, he just stared back at her; either really expecting an answer or waiting for her to figure something out, she wasn't sure which.

"I'm standing here…" She lamely answered.

"Yeah, crazy eyes." Bullock nodded, "I can see that."

"What-" She started to ask him what he wanted, but didn't get the chance when he kept talking.

"Why are ya standing here, huh?" He continued, "Aren't you gonna go after him?"

"And say what?" Bird questioned with an exasperated laugh.

"I don't know." His face scrunched up, "You figure it out. I got to work to do."

Taking a few steps backward, while holding onto the open sides of his suit jacket he gave a shrug and said, "How about… I'm sorry for running off and staying gone for literally months…"

"Shut up, Bullock."

With a feigned look of hurt, he put a hand over his heart; playing like she'd hurt him before he turned and headed back up the stairs.

When Bird stepped outside, she looked down both sides of the sidewalk, towards the left she saw someone in dark color jacket for a split second before they were out of sight.

Pulling in a breath, she didn't waste another second in chasing after them.

Once she, herself, rounded the corner and confirmed it was, in fact, Jim that she'd seen, she called out to him, but he kept walking.

"Jim!" She yelled again, jogging the last of the distance between them and catching the sleeve of his jacket to stop him.

When he faced her, she realized how much it felt like a role reversal after all of the times he'd tried to catch up with her and she'd walk off and blatantly ignore him.

Of course, that was before they got closer; before the bond turned romantic.

"I'm sorry." Bird blurted out and caught her breath, "I didn't plan to be gone for so long."

"You told me you were leaving through a text message, Bird." He reminded her, shaking his head from side-to-side, "I had no idea where you were. You wouldn't answer any of my calls-"

"I didn't have a phone." Bird interrupted, "I threw it in the river before I left town."

"And that's supposed to make it better?"

"No." She replied, "Or maybe, I don't know."

"It doesn't." Jim stated.

"I know you're mad at me." Bird blinked before trying to catch his line of sight when she asked, "Can we just talk?"

"Talk?" He repeated back.

"Or maybe you can at least stop repeating what I say back to me like it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard?" She countered.

"No, it's just…" He breathed, "Now, you want to talk. Not in all that time, you know before you ran off when I was trying to get you to talk to me. That was asking too much, but now you're back and now you want to talk?"

When she didn't say anything back, he made up an excuse, "Maybe some other time. I'm kinda busy."

Jim started to turn and walk away but hesitated when he caught the look on her face.

Almost as if she was shocked that he didn't feel like talking to her.

"What did you expect?" He stepped forward, "You'd come back and everything would go back to the way it was?"

"No." She was adamant about that.

Running her tongue over her lips, she gave a weak shrug and rawly admitted, "I just thought…"

Her jaw tensed as she bit back the rest of the sentence.

He was either still too hurt and angry to really hear her or he actually didn't care anymore.

This time when he started to walk away she stopped him immediately, "Jim, wait!"

"What?" He questioned in a tone of voice that made her feel like she was inconveniencing his entire day by just being there.

"I just wanted to tell you…" Her voice trailed off again; she wasn't entirely sure the sentence was headed when she'd started it.

What could she even say at this point?

She could tell him how she still loved him. How she missed him every single day that she was gone. How her chest physically hurt from being there with him, but not actually being with him.

There were no shortage of confessions she could make in that moment; any of them would at least be a start at maybe getting things back to how they were.

But instead, she explained, "Bruce has a meeting at Wayne Enterprises tomorrow morning and there's a chance the people behind everything at Indian Hill could come after all of us."

"I can handle myself." He pointed out.

Eyeing her, he doubted that was what she'd originally chased him down for.

"I know. I just thought I should give you a heads up so you can be extra cautious." She struggled to offer up a wavering smile with her words.

"Yeah." Jim eyed her one last time, "Thanks."

•••

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Bird guessed as she handed her little brother a cup of hot tea and took a seat next to him on the couch in her living room.

"Yes." Bruce admitted as he wrapped his hands around the warm glass mug and watched her from the side of his eye as she tucked her legs up underneath her and sat sideways to face him better.

"Truthfully I am too." Bird blew out a breath and took a small sip of her own tea; immediately regretting it when it singed the tip of her tongue.

Making a face she added, "But it's the only way to draw these people out. We haven't been able to find them, so we'll have to wait for them to find us."

Tomorrow was an important meeting with the board of Wayne Enterprises.

Bruce was going to say he'd uncovered information on the group running the company and that he's prepared to turn it over to the federal government.

It was a bluff, of course.

In reality, they didn't have much in the way of actual evidence; more like conspiracy theories.

But word would surely get back to the cabal and they'd seek the siblings out.

He hadn't been able to stop his mind from going back the night they'd all nearly met their fate six months ago when they'd gone after Strange.

When the gas seeped into the room, he thought it was toxic like Nygma had said; not that it was only something to knock them out.

He remembered losing the feeling in his legs, how hard the side of his face had hit the floor, the utter helplessness of it all.

But most of all he remembered the guilt of thinking he'd gotten everyone around him killed.

Lucius had told him that even if they did all die, that it wasn't his fault, they had all made their own decisions.

Ultimately, it hadn't made him feel much better, but it was growing increasingly clear that he was going to need to help and that asking for it was going to continually put the ones around him in peril.

"There is a chance they could kill us." Bruce stated the obvious.

"Ha." Bird bitterly chuckled to herself, speaking into the top of the cup she muttered, "And put me out of my misery? I'm not that lucky, little brother."

"What happened?" He questioned.

Bird looked over at him and slowly let out the air she'd been holding onto.

He and Alfred had left town shortly after the Arkham escape and while they'd stayed in contact, Bruce hadn't known about what happened or why she'd left town herself.

"You know how a couple months ago I let you know I was getting out of Gotham for a while?" She asked.

Leaning forward, Bruce set his tea down on the coffee table before he turned to face her and nodded, waiting for her to go on.

"What I didn't tell you is that things got pretty bad before I left…"

Her voice trailed off and she looked down to the scars on her finger and thumb where she'd previously developed a subconscious habit of rubbing them together.

"With you and Detective Gordon?" He guessed.

"Partly, but it was mainly me. After that night in Arkham, the truth serum, and everything… I don't know, I just hadn't felt entirely right since then. I had a lot going on at work too and Oswald was calling me around the clock and showing up all the time because he's been worried about Fish finding him. Jim and I were fighting all the time. And- and I wasn't sleeping, like at all. I was just stuck in this like endless terrible day." Pulling in a breath she paused for a moment.

"A while ago I did something." She opened up further, but didn't tell him she'd played a part in Lily's death, "And I lied to Jim about it and then I just kept lying about it and I felt so bad."

"Over what you did?" He tried to follow.

"No." She stated, "Over lying to him."

"What did you do?" Bruce asked though he knew she probably wouldn't tell him.

"It doesn't matter." She dismissed, "But Strange got into my head about it and it just made everything messier and soon this little pang of guilt for not being honest with Jim got worse. Turned into this crushing weight and I guess just mixed with everything else… it was a lot. It was too much."

"That's why you left." He realized.

"It was too much." Bird repeated, "I was still messed up from that night; still had Strange's voice in my head. Jim was miserable not being a cop, but he wouldn't go back to GCPD, he was always here at the house and started drinking more. Oswald was driving me crazy, constantly going on and on about Fish and I was there trying to make things better for everyone until I just couldn't anymore. So I left. I sent a text to a few people so they wouldn't worry first, but I still left."

"And now." She laughed, "When I let Charmaine know I was coming back to work, she hung up on me. Can you believe that? I could fire her, I won't but, my own secretary hung up on me. Oswald can't look at me without scowling. Jim's freezing me out and… I don't know, I guess I just thought someone might be happy to have me back home."

"I'm happy you're home." Bruce spoke up, not sure what else to say to her.

"You don't count." She smiled, "You just got back a few days before I did."

"Still." He argued, "I feel better knowing you're here."

She gave him a smile and looked back down at her cup of tea.

Bruce's eyebrows lowered as he played back his own words in his head.

It was true what he said, he did feel better knowing she was there.

She was the one he'd come to with his problems and call on when he got in trouble, especially in the last few years.

"It must be exhausting." Bruce realized out loud as he spoke, "You're always fixing problems for everyone else. I don't think I realized how often you do that until now."

"Amazing I can do that and hold a company position, right?" She tried to joke, but he could see right through the humor she was using a shield for the pain she was in.

It wasn't fair, he thought, how she spent so much of her time being the one people came to with problems and then when it was too much and she left, everyone was mad at her.

He couldn't argue that there were a hundred other and better ways she could have gone about taking off then how she did, but he knew just like with everything, she did the best she could.

"I saw Selina today." He admitted, both because it had been on his mind and because he could sense she didn't want to talk about her own heartache anymore, "She says she's not mad that I left Gotham for so long, but her actions revealed otherwise."

"Apparently that is what we do now, huh?" Bird somberly smiled, "Leave town and then come back to find out no one really wants us here."

"Apparently." He agreed with a sad smile of his own, "Maybe I should go back to Switzerland."

"Take me with you." Bird said as she slid down further on the cushions and rested her head against the couch.

"Deal." Bruce said.

He picked his tea back up from the table and took a few drinks now that it had cooled off some.

"I was thinking maybe I'd just stay here tonight." He offered; thinking that it was time he be there for her.

"Bruce, I'm okay." Bird promised.

"I know you are." He nodded, "But we really don't know how tomorrow is going to go and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be."

Reaching out, she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze as she near silently mouthed, "Thank you."

•••

A/N - I ended up getting this story posted quicker than I'd expected too. ^_^
I'm so excited to share this installment of Bird's story with all of you!

In case you didn't know, you can find me on tumblr, username: twofacedharveydent ,I post quite a bit of edits for my stories on here.

I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know what you thought of the chapter. I can't wait to hear your feedback and the support really helps to keep me inspired.