Anyway, I've had some personal problems and writing them out helped me.
I'll have about six chapters in mind, so I'll try to update as soon as I finish my finals.
So if you read it, let me know what you think!
I rated M for language and some scenes (I'll let you know which ones).
"When I look back at this, I won't remember performing and competing."
Beca wasn't that kind of person who'd open up herself, but after all, it felt like the unofficial goodbye for them, so she tried to choose the words from the bottom of her heart.
"I'm gonna remember you weirdos. Makes me really sad to think it won't be like this again." Playing nervously with her fingers. Beca couldn't look up to their friends. Couldn't show her tearful eyes.
"I'm gonna miss you guys." Said with a little crack in her voice, not even noticed for any of the girls, except for one, who was looking at her across the fire with those shinning eyes that made her lost herself.
She could hear some other Bellas agreeing with her. How would she live without her new family in a few months? The Bellas changed her, made her a better person and they taught her to let herself be loved.
"I got my ticket for the long way round…" She could feel her favorite blue eyes on her. A reserved look from her best friend, the only person who knew her better than herself.
"Two bottle whiskey for the way." Beca was trying to handle the tears in her eyes. When her eyes connected again with Chloe's. Their special connection felt stronger than ever, like something powerful was growing between them.
"And I sure would like some sweet company
And I'm leaving tomorrow
What d'you say?
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my hair
(Miss me by my everywhere)
You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone."
It was getting late and the girls progressively left to the tent until Beca and Chloe were the only ones left around the campfire.
Beca moved next to her friend and placed the blanket around them and sitting close enough to get warm. The night was getting colder and they just enjoyed each other company in silence.
Beca was one of those people who didn't like being around people, but when she was, it made her uncomfortable being with someone in silence. She needed music or something as background, or the other people talking.
She couldn't relax around other people.
That was until Chloe came to her life. She could read her perfectly in almost every angle.
"Do you think there are bears in this place? Somewhere?" Asked Chloe looking around the camp.
"I don't know, you tell me. You're the animal expert." Said Beca confused trying not to laugh at her friend.
"Yeah, I know." Smiled "but orientation is not my best and I have no idea where we are at."
"Maybe? I don't know. Why?"
"I'd be so cool to see one. I'd feel like Merida in Brave."
They looked at each other. Chloe with a big smile on her face.
"Oh my God, you're so weird."
That was one of Chloe's superpowers. She could make her forget everything and just enjoy that exact moment.
And then both girls started laughing. It felt so good having that time for themselves. It had been a few long and weird weeks where they would only talk about the Worlds and Beca avoiding her friend so she wouldn't have to tell her about her new job.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my internship." Said Beca after a while, changing the subject.
She turned around to look at Chloe's blue eyes.
"It's okay Becs. It just made me sad that sometimes I feel you don't trust me. I just want the best for you and I…" She sighed scared of making her friend mad.
"I'd never try to crash your dreams or something." She broke eye contact and looked at the fire. Her eyes were tearful, but she managed to keep them in place.
Beca could see that sadness and it broke her heart. She searched for Chloe's arm under the blanket.
Chloe has warmer than her. Beca spotted her friend's soft arm and ran her hand down until she found her hand and intertwined their fingers.
Beca wasn't a touchy person. She'd never liked that cheesy physical contact. It made her feel comfortless most of the times when Jesse tried to hold hands or cuddle while watching a movie, but it was all different with Chloe.
Chloe was Chloe.
"Oh God." Said under her breath before meeting her eyes again.
Chloe looked back at Beca's eyes the second she felt their hands together. It was like a lightning running through her body.
"Chlo, you know you're my best friend. Don't tell Amy I said that."
Best friend. Of course. Anybody would love to be friends with Beca, she was special, and under the walls, she was loving and caring, but those words just broke Chloe's heart more.
She had a crush on her friend since the first day they met, on the activity fair. It was when they did the mash-off of Bruno Mars when she first realized it wasn't a simple crush anymore.
Her 'best friend' was the reason she failed Russian Lit 3 times. The reason she was thrilled of graduation. The reason she had eyes for nobody else.
She looked away. She should be happy for the words of Beca, but the pain was again inside her chest.
Beca moved gently Chloe's chin so she would look at her again. "You know I trust with my life, Beale."
"Look…" continued. "I didn't want to disappoint you and not telling you made it worse. I just was trying to wait for the best moment and it didn't came. I'm so sorry Chlo."
Chloe felt she was drowning on the eyes of the girl in front of her. Unlike the other times, she was unable to read her friend. Beca looked different that night. Her eyes were almost dark and she could sense something was in Beca's mind, but she knew her enough to know when it was better not to ask.
And she was right. Beca couldn't stop thinking about what Chloe said the night before:
"You know, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do enough experimenting in college."
Why would Chloe say something like that? She did A LOT of experimentation with Tom years ago. She was forbidden from the library for a whole year for doing God knows what.
That sentence made Beca's mind a mess. It had been a while since she felt her stomach flip around Chloe for the first time, and now things were getting worse.
Lately, her heartbeat was out of control when Chloe was in the room. She discovered what blushing was like and she found herself thinking about Chloe a lot more, and not in the best friend way anymore.
Where was Jesse in this equation? Why did she have all those doubts now?
She really liked Jesse, she loved him. They've been together almost 3 years now, she didn't even remember what was Barden like before him, but she hadn't ever felt this way before.
Her chest burned next to Chloe.
She was starting to feel the lack of oxygen in her lungs, the anxiety and the overwhelming feeling were back and Chloe noticed at the second.
The anxiety attacks weren't as usual now as years before, but Chloe had learnt how to handle them.
She put her arm around Beca and pulled her closer to her chest, hand on her cheek.
"Becs, breath. It's gonna be okay. I'm not going anywhere." Said as moving her finger through Beca's cheekbone. "Focus on the fire, it will help you calm down."
"What am I supposed to do?" Thought Beca. The guilt was back and it was too much to handle at that moment. The feeling that everything was about to fall apart was chasing her.
It was the moment for a change before it was too late.
She could feel the soft kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes. Hearing the heartbeat of her best friend made Beca calm.
"Do you feel any better?"
Beca nodded.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not now, but I'm good." Said trying not to worry her friend.
"Can I do something to help you?" Beca didn't sound convincing enough.
"Just keep being you." Said without thinking it. As soon as she realized what did just said, she felt ashamed of her words as she sit up.
"Oh my God Beale, what did you do to me?" Said blushing as both started laughing.
Chloe's hand was still in her cheek and they were facing each other. Close.
The tension was built again.
The light of the fire reflected on the ginger hair of Chloe down her shoulders. Pink cheeks. Red lips.
Eyes on each other eyes, and looks that escaped down on the lips. It would take just a second to reach them. They both wanted and somehow, they knew, but sometimes it was easier if they ignored it.
They were best friends. Would it mess everything up? Would they be ready to face all those feelings?
Anyway, Jesse was still in the equation. Beca loved him and would never cheat on anybody. Not after what her dad did, and Chloe knew. She just knew her friend so much that Chloe would never forgive herself to make Beca cheat on her boyfriend.
Chloe was just late. Someone took her friend's heart before her. She was glad it was him. He was a good guy, who loved Beca, but not much more than her. **
The breaths against their skin didn't make that situation any painless. The pressure on their chest it felt like it could exploit anytime.
"So…" Said Chloe clearing her throat and pulling away. "Maybe we should head back to the tent, we still have a long day before going back to Barden."
She didn't mean it. She would rather stay there forever, not moving an inch, next to her best friend, her loved one, but it wasn't fair for Beca nor her.
"Oh…em… yeah, sure." Said nodding as came back from her daydream.
Chloe was the first to get up as she offered her hand, which Beca took and held while they walked back their way to the tent where the other girls were already sleeping.
"Hey…" Chloe stopped Beca before going inside the tent. "Would you please tell me or wake me up if there's something wrong or you're not feeling okay? Please." Murmured the older girl with her worried look.
"Yeah, I'm good." Responded heart warmed with a shy smile on her face. "Thank you, Chlo." Rubbing her fingers on her best friend's hand.
"Okay." Smiled back. "Good night Becs." Said as she made her way inside the tent.
"Good night Chlo." Sighed.
It would be a long night