23 minutes. We were locked inside, not knowing what was going on for 23 minutes. But it felt like an eternity. I can barely believe all that happened, only took place in 23 minutes. But it was the most terrifying 23 minutes of my life. Not knowing whether it was the police or the gunmen outside our door. Not knowing if we were getting rescued, or if it was just a futile attempt to save us, when we had no chance. I couldn't hear any words. I could just hear indistinct murmurs through the walls. I could hear the static of walkie talkies, the sound of peoples feet hitting the floor as they ran. Then I could hear them at our door. "This is the police, were coming in. Stand up and put your hands above your head," they yelled in at us. We all stood up, facing the door. I had no idea what we would see on the other side of that door. I expected a few cops with their small hand guns drawn. But when the door swung open I saw how wrong I was. It was dozens of heavily armed members of SWAT with bullet proof vests, and huge guns. I didn't think I would see that. It had to be bad. It had to be real to send something like this to get us.

It wasn't really real. Even with the gunshots, and the screaming, and the running, even SWAT. I kept telling myself it was a prank or something. I kept lying to myself, putting the truth in the back of my mind, trying to ignore it. Tell myself it wasn't real, that it wasn't actually happening. But then it was. I knew it had to be true. We walked out of the room, hands above our heads, where we were immediately told to run. We had to sprint to the door. I kept thinking if I turned around someone would shoot, so I just told myself to look forward and sprint as fast as I could. But then I saw it, and I couldn't help but slow down.

The hallway. The hallway that my best friends would eat lunch in most days. The hallway I practiced speeches for my class in. the hallway with the door leading outside at the end of it. The floor was coated in blood. There were dark, heavy, streaks of blood running down the length of the hallway. It was still wet. I was so worried I would slip in it and fall. And I kept thinking, if I fall I die. "Keep running," someone from SWAT yelled at us. I couldn't bring myself to run, I kept staring at the pile of clothes on the side. They were soaked in blood, to the point where I couldn't even tell what color they originally were. I kept wondering whose it was. Whose blood I was currently standing in, running over. I wondered if it was one of my friends, or some random person, or even one of the shooters. It couldn't be someone I knew and loved. It couldn't. That would break me.

But I ran. I ran over the blood, past the soaked clothes. Past the ambulances, and the police cars. Past the members of SWAT urging us to keep our hands up, stay low, and run. We ran, we ran until they had us jump behind a police car. That's when the told us. They got some of the shooters, but were not sure if there was another one or not, and were still looking. There could still be someone in there. I couldn't do anything. I just had to keep going. I followed them across the street, to a large grass field, where they told us we could put our arms down, and didn't need to duck. Right there was where Alexa collapsed. She fell to the ground, wrapped her arms around her knees, curled in a ball, and started sobbing harder than ever. I kept trying to tell her we were safe. But she was so worried, about everyone still inside. About who's blood it was. She was thinking all the same things I was. But we had made it out. We were alive and safe.

That day one kid died, and eight more were injured. Two boys did this. One in the grade above me, one a senior. It was a complete surprise. No one expected it to happen to our school. No one thought they would ever be capable of anything like that. All of us were shocked. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It completely broke me. It took months to be able to fully function normally again. Its been two years now, and I'm still not okay. But I have people now. I have Garret, and Jaques. I have them, and they make my world. So I will do whatever I have to do to be able to stay here with them. Even if Jaques is just a possibility, it's a possibility I will fight for.