A/N: Hooray! It's the final part...and oh my stars, this final chapter was a total beast to write and edit! It's so long, haha. I feel like I'm not so great at writing more action-y scenes, which is why I was nervous about writing about the Rite in the first place. Hopefully it came out okay! And I hope you enjoy this final chapter :) It's a doozy!

Part IV - Together

Day Seven of the Blood Rite:

By some miracle, she had made it to Ramiel.

For the past two days, she did not stop despite the fact that her body begged and begged her to. Her empty stomach made it difficult for her to find the energy to go on. The wound in her thigh and the bruises and scrapes on her arms grew more tender and raw as they rubbed against her leather clothing and the stone of the monolith. Her hands kept cramping. Her eyes demanded to be shut. The cold air that blew around her sent shivers through her entire body. That dark voice within her still repeated "You're weak" over and over in her mind.

However, Nesta remained strong and tenacious.

She still had no idea how much time she had left to reach the top of Ramiel...or if she even had any time left.

Ascending Ramiel was the toughest part yet, as its incline was nearly completely vertical. She had been forced to constantly grab hold of the jagged rocks jutting from it to stay on the enormous stone. So many times, her feet nearly slid out from under her, or her hands nearly lost their grip. Being without water for many hours left her lips chapped and her mouth dry.

She was nearing the top of one side of the monolith. Once she reached it, she would still have to hobble or crawl up the slope to reach the summit and the black stone that she needed to touch to complete the Rite.

Once the top of the monolith was within her reach, she stretched out her arms to grab hold of the edge. Summoning all her remaining strength, she pulled herself up, using her feet to help push herself upward. She managed to get her upper body on the flat surface, where she found a large stone blanketed by snow to grab hold of and help yank the rest of her body up.

Laying on her back upon the snowy ground, Nesta momentarily closed her eyes and panted from the exertion of her climb. It felt like it took an eternity to get that far, and she still had a bit more to go.

Suddenly, the sun that she felt shining upon her eyelids seemed to suddenly go away.

Nesta's eyes shot open to find a tan-skinned Illyrian male standing before her, eyeing her with a look of disdain. "I'm certainly not going to let Cassian's whore complete the Rite," he grumbled and moved his foot to kick her.

Before his foot made contact with her stomach, Nesta turned on her side and tightly grabbed the large stone nearby to hang on. At the impact of his foot, Nesta let out a long wail as the force sent her legs to hang off the edge. Fury raged through her as the male kept kicking at her, trying to knock her off the monolith.

She forced her eyes to stay open as she attempted to analyze his movements. When he wasn't expecting it and his foot came toward her, she seized his foot instead. The sudden weight upon his foot when he tried to pull it back sent him tumbling to the ground on his back.

Nesta tugged on his leg to help bring her whole body back up on the cliff. She scrambled to stand up and limped away from the monolith's edge. Her thigh wound felt like it was completely inflamed.

"You bitch," the male, having recovered from his fall, said as charged toward her and tackled her to the ground from behind. Nesta squirmed face-down beneath him as he moved his hands around her neck in an attempt to suffocate her.

But Nesta was quick to jerk her head back, knocking it roughly into his chin and causing him to release her. She then placed her palms against the ground and popped her upper body up, causing him to slide off her back.

However, now he was on top of her legs, still pinning her to the ground. Nesta tried to kick him, but the weight of him anchored her down and her legs were too weak. He stretched out his arm and picked up a nearby rock and pounded it repeatedly against her booted feet.

As she screamed, Nesta twisted her upper body so she could start whacking at him with her hand, but her hits seemed to have no effect on him at all. There was no strength in her slaps.

He ended up tossing away the rock and grabbing one of her hands when it came at him, tugging it toward himself as he stood up. Nesta quickly turned her body over so she was on her back. But the male came around to where her head was and kneeled one leg down on the ground. He pulled her arm out across his thigh and pushed down on it until a loud pop from her elbow joint was heard. A cry of anguish escaped her lips as the pain surged within her arm.

Dropping her injured arm, he moved to the other side of her, preparing to repeat his previous action on her other limb. Nesta kept her arm against herself and refused to let it be pulled away from her. But it looked like another idea appeared in the Illyrian's mind, and he decided to head toward her feet instead. When he leaned down to grab them, Nesta kneed his chin, sending him stumbling back. In a quick motion, Nesta unsteadily rose off the ground and onto her now battered feet, ignoring the pain she felt.

He came charging after her once more, looking like he was determined to dive for her legs and hoist her off the ground. Sticking out her good arm against his shoulder, she halted him and curled her arm around his neck. With her arm wrapped around him, she fell back onto the ground, taking him with her. Then, she lifted her knee to smash it into his groin, causing him to let out a muffled yelp. She kneed him between the legs once more with such force that she flipped him over her body. A cracking sound was heard when he collided with the ground upon his back.

He lied there groaning, with his eyes tightly shut. But he did not move. In fact, it looked like he was unable to move.

Nesta tried to catch her breath and steady her racing heart. She gingerly rolled up the sleeve of her injured arm, then scooped up some snow from the ground beside her to hold it against her elbow joint. She grimaced as she did so, but she hoped the coolness of the snow would at least help reduce the swelling.

Looking up, she noticed the sun was setting…

Who knew if this was her final night to make it to the black stone? If this Illyrian male was on the monolith too, it must have been close to the end of the week of the Rite...

With a grunt, she turned her body over so she was now on her knees. The pain within her thigh was still there from the impaled stick, but not as strong as the pain that was throbbing through her arm and her aching feet.

But she couldn't think about the pain. She had to keep moving. Putting the pressure on her knees and the palm of her unharmed arm, she crawled using three of her limbs.

It was the final day of the Rite, and Cassian was utterly restless.

There was an ache within him that no beverage or tonic could soothe. His anxiety could not be eased, and the frustration and regret he felt toward himself for the past mistakes he'd made with Nesta were at an ultimate high.

He certainly didn't have any time for the taunts that were thrown his way that day either. As soon as he rose and dressed for the day, he stormed out of his cabin and headed toward the heart of the camp. Along the way, a few Illyrian males cackled and heckled him by asking where the "witch" or his "whore" was, implying that there was no way Nesta would survive. Each of those Illyrians were promptly punched in the jaw and knocked down into the snow.

Once he reached the center of the camp, Cassian paced around the unlit firepit with his fists clenched at his sides.

When he, Azriel, and Rhys had completed the Rite, their touch upon the black stone had immediately transported them back to the middle of their camp. The same would happen for Nesta if she made it.

The aches he felt throughout his body grew stronger. While clutching his stomach, Cassian plopped himself on the snowy ground beside the pit. He sat cross-legged as he prayed to the gods that Nesta was safe and would complete the Rite.

With his eyes constantly scanning the area around him, Cassian waited.

And hoped.

Nesta continued to crawl up the steep incline to the summit of Ramiel. The sky was getting darker and darker.

Her bones kept pleading for her to stop and give up, especially with her body constantly losing its balance and her clumsily trying to hang on. With all her willpower, she resisted that urge by thinking of Cassian's words.

"Come back to me. Please."

"Continue fighting and surviving as you always do."

"Keep going, sweetheart."

Fortunately, the black stone was in sight. Not a single snowflake had fallen upon it as if its mystical power was shielding it. It had the shimmer of a black diamond, and it served as her beacon.

She needed to hang on a little bit longer…

But as soon as she passed through a row of pine trees, a gust of freezing wind blew past her that made her look down and tighten her grip on the ground beneath her. She could sense magic thrumming around her and calling to her. It seemed to pull at the magic within her from the Cauldron that had lied dormant for over a year now.

The sky suddenly turned black, causing Nesta to freeze. The wind continued to howl around her, and suddenly a young woman materialized before her.

When the woman lifted her head, Nesta recognized her face…

"Feyre?" Nesta questioned weakly in disbelief.

"I don't know why I take pity on you. You don't deserve it. You let me and Elain nearly starve to death, while you sat and did nothing," she spoke with such contempt.

Elain appeared beside Feyre and nodded along to Feyre's words. She gave Nesta a scornful look...It didn't look right to see such a facial expression upon her face.

"And you let me die," a male's voice said. Nesta whipped her head to her left, where she saw her father. "How could you do nothing when the king captured me? What kind of daughter are you?"

"You will never be one of us," Rhys stated as he appeared beside Feyre, along with Azriel, Mor, and Amren behind him.

Nesta couldn't stop the tears that formed in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks.

She wished she could say these words and scenes were unfamiliar to her...but she had seen all of this and heard all of these words in her nightmares since the war.

Her nightmares, fears, and insecurities had all come to life before her.

This isn't real. This isn't real, she repeated to herself in her head as she closed her eyes, trying to shut them out.

But when she heard the sound of Cassian's voice, she felt compelled to open up her teary eyes and look behind her to see him.

"How could someone love a selfish and rotten person like you? You're worthless. I'm only forced to love you because we're mates."

Seeing him stand before her and saying these things - even though she knew this was all contrived - still wounded her.

"That's...not true," Nesta weakly spoke aloud and shook her head up at him. Sliding her hand within her pocket, she felt around for the letter the real Cassian had given her. When her fingertips found the parchment, Nesta closed her eyes tightly and relished in the memory of what his letter had said.

These past several months, you have been irritating, infuriating, and ridiculous...as well as inspiring, enthralling, and intoxicating.

I am in love with you, Nesta Archeron.

I'll be waiting for you, ready to not waste anymore time.

Her eyes shot open, and she sought out the black stone. In the darkness, she could no longer see it, but she knew the direction she had to go. With newfound vigor, she rushed forward on her hand and knees.

But as she did so, all the figures around her vanished, except for Cassian.

Now Cassian was flying, when a blast of light powered through the air and hit him square in the chest, sending him to the ground right in front of her. Nesta stopped and stared at him as life left his eyes.

Another nightmare had come to life. But the tears didn't stop flowing from Nesta's eyes. Seeing him die before her was a dagger to her chest. All this time, she had feared having these feelings for him because of how that love could make her suffer...but she couldn't deny it anymore. She couldn't shield herself any longer.

She couldn't resist placing her hand against the fake Cassian's cheek. She half-thought her hand would go through him as if he were some kind of phantom. But he was solid beneath her palm. She could even feel the stubble on his cheek.

This isn't real. This isn't real. Keep going.

Suppressing a shudder from what she just witnessed, she continued her crawl toward the black rock. The figures of her sisters, her father, and the Inner Circle all appeared once more, calling after her and yelling at her.

She shut them out and weakly continued her journey, hurting her knees and hand when she roved over jagged rocks in the darkness.

When the front half of her body collapsed to the ground after her arm suddenly gave out from under her, it was then that she could make out that the black rock was a short distance before her. Her body shuddered as she let out a sigh of relief.

But when she tried to move forward, she felt a hand grab hold of her boot, causing her to wince. She turned behind her and saw Cassian was there.

"Why are you leaving me, Nesta? Why are abandoning me and shutting me out like you did after the war?" he demanded to know.

Nesta just carefully shook her head. "I'm not," she said softly. "I'm not."

She grimaced when she tried to yank her foot out of his grip, but the apparition wouldn't let go. She outstretched her uninjured arm as far as she could and lunged for the black rock.

But she couldn't reach it.

She was so close…

Breathing heavily as the tears cascaded down her cheeks, she thought of all she had endured the past several days. The cold. The stick impaled in her thigh. The hazardous climb. Her broken arm. Her bruised feet. Even her own mind and magic had betrayed her.

This couldn't all be for nothing.

She wouldn't let it be all for nothing.

She focused on imagining what could be, if she made it back.

What it would be like to see Cassian again... to tease him as she loved to do...and to also feel him against her.

She wanted more time in this life. Not just to be with Cassian, but to actually live and enjoy life.

"Why are you leaving me, Nesta?" the apparition of Cassian whined.

"I'm not," Nesta firmly replied. "I'm coming home to you."

Once more, she threw out her arm so far that it was taut and she felt the strain within her muscles. Her fingertips grazed the edge of the stone.

Everything around her faded away in an instant.

The sun had set over an hour ago...meaning Nesta only had a few hours left to complete the Rite.

Cassian hadn't left his spot beside the pit. Despite the fact that his body had begun to shiver after the sun descended and the cool winds blew through, he did not budge.

The aches within him grew stronger and in the past hour or so, those aches seemed to move to his head. If he and Nesta were mates as he had suspected...Nesta must have been suffering greatly.

He let out a long, slow breath. He closed his eyes and sent up another silent prayer that Nesta would return.

At the sound of a thump against the ground, Cassian suddenly opened his eyes. He lost his breath at the sight of Nesta appearing and lying in the snow before him. Her eyes were closed and one of her arms was stretched out. Her body was shivering, and her hair was disheveled, with most of the strands having fallen out of its hair ribbon, and her Illyrian leathers were all torn up. But one of her arms...something didn't look right. And her thigh was covered with a bloodied handkerchief...the handkerchief he had given her.

Tears formed in his eyes as he rushed toward her. "Nesta," he whispered as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him. Her breathing stilled when she saw him. "Are you really here?" she asked feebly.

Cassian smoothed her hair away from her face. "Yes," he breathed. Then, without his eyes leaving hers, he slid his hands beneath her body and scooped her up as he stood. Her face contorted with agony as he did so. He looked at her apologetically and realized he needed to get her to a healer immediately.

"What were your last words to me before the Rite? Before you said goodbye?" she asked seriously as she lifted her hand to his cheek.

"'Come back to me please,'" he answered softly as he recalled that heart wrenching conversation that replayed in his head multiple times the past few days. "And now you have, but I need to get you -" he began to mutter, but was interrupted by Nesta lifting her head and crashing her lips against his.

He was caught off guard, but once he got over his astonishment, Cassian responded to her delicate kiss. Despite loving the taste of her, he knew they did not have time for this right now. He needed to get her injuries taken care of first. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers. "Why do we only kiss when one of us is dying?" he wondered huskily. "We need to get you to a healer."

"I don't want to waste anymore time," Nesta said honestly while she ran her hand across his jawline before bringing it down to his chest.

"If we don't get you to a healer soon, you won't have much time left."

Flying would've been the fastest way to get back to his cabin. But she didn't enjoy flying, and it would just make her sicker. Plus, he risked jostling her and injuring her more if he flew. Speed walking back would just have to do.

Nesta closed her eyes as she leaned her head against his upper arm, while her hand now gripped onto to the center of his shirt.

"Hold on, Nes. Stay with me," he said to her, and she nodded.

Cassian began to stride through the camp in the direction of his cabin as he carefully held onto Nesta.

"Now I definitely know something is wrong. I just called you 'Nes' and you didn't bite my head off," he joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

She looked pale and kept her eyes closed, but when he briefly looked down, she was smiling.

As they passed a few of the other camp's cabins en route, the door to one of them suddenly burst open and an Illyrian female ran out. In the light of the camp's outdoor torches, Cassian realized it was Morwenna, a female he had been training and one he believed Nesta had befriended. She charged toward them, her long dark hair flying around behind her.

"She's back!" Morwenna exclaimed as she came to Cassian's side, keeping pace with him. A look of shock and awe was upon her face.

"Yes, but she needs medical attention immediately," Cassian stated seriously as he continued to plow forward. At Cassian's reply, Morwenna's facial expression quickly transformed into one that was solemn. "Morwenna, could you please go find one of the healers and send her to my cabin?"

"Yes, of course," she replied with a firm nod before darting off in another direction.

Nesta groaned as he strolled through the snow and walked up a small, steep incline. The sound propelled Cassian to move faster. Within the next few minutes, they had finally reached his cabin.

As soon as he entered, he headed straight for his bedroom. Gently laying her down on one side of the bed, he pulled down the blankets on the opposite side. Then he picked her up again to lay her down on the uncovered sheets and brought the blankets up over her body. Nesta opened up her eyes as her head hit the pillow. "Cassian, I need...water," she requested quietly.

"Yes, sweetheart," he called out to her as he rushed out of the room. Very slowly, Nesta sat up and was about to attempt propping up her pillow when Cassian returned holding one tall glass of water and a bowl of beef broth. He quickly handed the glass to her in her good arm and placed the bowl on the stand beside the bed. "Stop trying to move. Let me do that," he said as he reached behind her to prop her pillow against her headboard.

After a long sip of water, Nesta swallowed. "I thought I told you I don't take orders from anyone," she said softly as she leaned back against the headboard and grinned slyly up at him. She took another swig of water.

"And here I thought, considering your state, you would indulge me only for today," Cassian said as he laid the back of his hand against her forehead. She was burning up. Cassian internally pleaded that Morwenna would be able to quickly find one of the healers.

Nesta gulped. "Never," she stated, the small grin still on her face.

"Well in between sips, could you please tell me what happened to you?" Cassian requested as he looked at her arm that was out of place.

"I think one of the males broke my arm," she replied. "Another male impaled a stick through my thigh."

"What?" Cassian's eyes widened. Then he carefully pulled the covers off of her and looked back down at the bloodied handkerchief wrapped around her thigh. Very gingerly, he untied it. Seeing the piece of stick that was still lodged within her thigh, he fought to keep his rage under control. The wound looked to be completely infected.

"Forgive me, sweetheart, for being so forward, but may I remove your clothes?" Cassian asked, covering up his concern with his casual bantering. He needed to get her out of her dirty clothes and prepare for the healer to look her over.

After pulling the glass away from her mouth, she nodded. "Usually, you're so barbaric, I'm shocked you even bothered to ask," she said sleepily as she rested her head back.

Cassian walked over to the chest at the foot of his bed and opened it, pulling out one of his shirts and tossing it on the bed near Nesta's feet. "Well, once you're all healed, I'll be barbaric and we can reenact a scene from that smutty The Barbarian and the Maiden novel you read," he said with a mischievous smile.

Nesta nearly choked on her water, causing Cassian to immediately rush to her side out of alarm. Gods forbid he kill her with his sexual innuendos after she survived the Blood Rite...

But she recovered quickly, and her eyes narrowed on him while her lips threatened to break out into a devious grin. "You've been reading my books?"

His eyes gleamed when he looked back down at her body to try to figure out the least painful way to get her clothes off of her. "One or two," he replied casually, but then had to pause their playful conversation and return to the task at hand. "I'm sorry if this hurts," he stated unhappily, and Nesta nodded in acceptance as she sat her now empty glass down on the nightstand.

When she closed her eyes, Cassian slid his fingers beneath the waistband of her pants and slowly pulled them down past her thighs. Nesta only winced a little when her pants peeled away from her wounded thigh. The wound was all red and had some white spots around the stick that could've been puss. Streaks of blood covered her thigh.

"When I've fantasized about bringing you to my bed and ripping off your clothes, this isn't exactly what I had pictured," Cassian commented with a glint in his eyes to distract her as he continued to pull her pants off of her legs and feet.

A slight blush came across Nesta's cheeks, but she didn't open her eyes. He tossed her pants to the floor, then stood beside her again. "I'm going to untie your top," he informed her, and she leaned her upper body forward to grant Cassian access to her back.

"I never thought such fantasies could become a reality," she said softly as he began to untie the laces on the back of her Illyrian leather tunic. "I never thought you could ever truly want...me."

Cassian's fingers faltered in their task, and it felt like his heart had been pierced. He took a deep breath before continuing to untangle the laces. "I've wanted you for a long time," he said honestly.

Once he finally finished pulling out the laces, he pulled the ribbon out of her hair and pushed her hair to the side, over her shoulder. Leaning forward, he placed a light kiss on the back of her neck. He thought he saw a slight shiver go down her spine.

Then he went to the front of her body to carefully slide the leather sleeves of her shirt from her arms. A pained cry escaped her lips when it went over her dislocated arm. After he threw it to the ground, he grabbed the bottom edge of her black shirt that was beneath the leather tunic and gingerly lifted it up and over her head. She let out another pained moan when she outstretched her arms above her head.

All she was currently wearing now was a bra and underwear. Out of politeness, Cassian looked away from her body. He swiftly reached for his shirt that he had tossed on the bed and put it on her. It was large and loose and would probably go down to her knees if she stood up.

She leaned back against the pillows and stared up at him as he brought the blankets back over her body. He placed his hand against her cheek. It was the same spot where he had put his hand when he said goodbye to her before the Rite. And now to have her before him after the Rite...He could feel that she really was here. This wasn't a dream. This time, he leaned forward and placed a kiss to her forehead.

"Cassian, I…" Nesta began to say feebly when he pulled away, but stopped when Morwenna and Leta, one of the Illyrian healers, burst into the room.

He would need to figure out what she wanted to say later. But for now, he was thankful the healer was finally here to take care of her. Cassian stepped away and let Leta look her over. The female pulled back the blankets to analyze her injuries. "Explain to me what happened," Leta kindly ordered.

Nesta recounted the skirmishes she endured the past week, and Cassian fought to keep his rage minimal as she spoke. He wished he could break the necks of those snotty males...or at least break something. But who knew if they even made it back...he didn't know which he hoped for more: that they suffered and perished in the Rite, or that they survived only to return and have to deal with Cassian's fury.

When Nesta concluded, Leta immediately ordered her to consume the beef broth on the nightstand as she dug through the medicine in her bag. Before Nesta could even attempt to grab the bowl with her good arm, Cassian beat her to it. He picked up the bowl and began feeding her spoonfuls of it.

As she ate, Leta added tonics to heal her and to knock her unconscious into the broth. Once she finished eating, Nesta stretched out her good arm toward Cassian. He put down the bowl and spoon on the nightstand and eagerly accepted her hand in his grasp. "Thank you," she whispered drowsily.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," Cassian answered. He brought their hands up to his face and kissed the back of her hand.

Nesta squeezed his hand as her eyes closed, and she instantly fell into a deep sleep.

She wasn't sure how many hours or how many days had passed, but she slipped in and out of consciousness.

Most of the time, Nesta was in a deep sleep. But every so often, she'd awake or be nudged awake by Cassian, who would be sitting beside her, ready and waiting with a bowl of broth to feed her containing tonics to help her heal and sleep. As soon as she would finish, he'd hand her a glass of water to drink.

Too drowsy to speak and too preoccupied with eating and drinking whenever she awoke, words were not exchanged between her and Cassian during the short periods of time she was awake, save for his gentle orders for her to either eat and drink and his whispers of "Goodnight, sweetheart," when she would slowly fall back asleep. Before she drifted off, she felt him kiss her temple each time.

Overall, her sleep had been dreamless...until one instance where she thought she had woken up on her own. She searched for Cassian, expecting him to be nearby and ready, as usual, to feed her.

But he wasn't there...instead she found a letter addressed to her on the nightstand. Opening it up, she read through its contents:

Nesta,

I thought I loved you, but I think it was just the mating bond that messed with my brain and deceived me. I don't love you. I don't want anything to do with you.

Don't expect to see me ever again.

-Cassian

The words sent tears streaming down her face, and she felt like she was suffocating.

Gasping for air, her eyes shot open and she found herself still in Cassian's bed and no letter beside her. In the dim room, she reached her hand out to the side of her along the mattress, hoping to find Cassian beside her to reassure her that what just occurred was just a nightmare.

But her hand never found Cassian's. She turned her head to find no one was beside her. Hyperventilating, she tried to push away her fears that Cassian really did run off and abandon her. Surely, he was just in the cabin somewhere...

But the nightmare had felt so real...Was the dream actually a premonition of what was to come?

Pushing away her covers, she got up off the bed without wincing.

Looking down, she realized she was still wearing Cassian's shirt. Stretching out her arm, she found it no longer looked dislocated and didn't ache. She also lifted up her leg to examine her thigh and saw that her wound was stitched up and healing.

She felt so...brand new. It was as if she had never physically suffered from the Blood Rite. There certainly were benefits to having a fae body….

Determined to find Cassian, she strolled out of his bedroom and headed down the hallway toward his study. Peeking her head around the door frame, she discovered he wasn't there.

Ignoring her nerves, she went back down the hallway in the direction of the kitchen and the living room. But she still couldn't find him.

Going to the front door, she turned the knob and opened it.

There, she found Cassian carrying a brown sack and about to take a step up to the small porch that led to his entryway. At the sound of the door creaking open, his head perked up. At first, he was beaming, but in a flash, that beam faded.

"You should be lying down," he said seriously.

Nesta stepped back, pulling the door open with her to allow him entrance. "We've been over this before. You can't order me around," she said sternly.

Cassian stepped inside, and Nesta closed the door behind him. She turned around so her back was against the door, and Cassian approached her.

"Where were you?" she asked in a tone mixed with panic and irritation.

"I needed to go buy you some more food. We were nearly out of broth, and I think you'll be ready to move onto more solid foods soon. Then I ended up flying to Velaris because I remembered there was that one tea you enjoy from one of the shops so I had gotten that too," Cassian explained calmly as his eyes tried to search hers for...something. "I'm sorry. You'd been sleeping for over nine hours at a time the past few days. I didn't expect you to be awake so soon. I shouldn't have gone."

He was out buying food for her, even going as far to find her favorite tea...to even further take care of her. All her life, she felt let down...especially by men. Her father abandoned her and her sisters, not even bothering to ensure they were nourished or caring that they lived. She thought Tomas Mandray would be the one to help take care of her...but that was all a facade. All he wanted to do was feed his own lustful desires.

After such experiences, she had previously sworn to herself that she would never trust a man again.

But then Cassian came into her life...and had been slowly breaking that resolve down.

Right now, she just needed to feel him and assure herself once more that all of this was real. She needed to truly know that he was before her and really taking care of her and not just part of her imagination. Abruptly, she tightly wrapped her arms around Cassian's torso and closed her eyes as she laid her head against his chest. Cassian dropped the sack he was carrying to the ground, which made a small thump when it hit the floor. Some items in the bag spilled out and scattered on the floor, but he ignored it. He wrapped his arms around her in return.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

"Is that how you always respond when someone shows you affection?" she said, careful to not let any tears escape her eyes. Trying to hide her concern, she continued. "Are you so unused to it that you assume something must be wrong with someone to want to embrace you?"

"This is more of an I'm terrified yet so relieved to see you kind of a hug rather than a Cassian, you are the sun my world revolves around and I just want to worship you constantly hug."

Nesta rolled her eyes. "I would never hug you like that."

Cassian pulled back and gripped his hands on her upper arms as he stared her directly in the eyes. "What's wrong?" he repeated.

Nesta paused, then shook her head. "Nothing."

Cassian sighed out of frustration. "Is that how this is going to go?" he asked angrily. "You're just going to shut me out again? If I have to go through that again...I won't be able to take it. I don't want you just at arm's length, Nesta. I want all of you. The good and the bad. I don't want to be just a meaningless fling for you."

The old Nesta probably would've fired back at him, telling him it was none of his business to know everything and it was presumptuous of him to think she'd want him to be more than a fling. But now...Nesta's heart raced beneath her chest. She didn't want to lose him. She was screwing this up. She wanted him more than anything. She needed to be honest with him and fix this. After all she realized in the Blood Rite…

"You're not!" she exclaimed.

"Then what am I to you?"

How could she even find the words to explain what he meant to her?

"You're...everything to me," she finally said. "And that scares me," she added softly as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Why?"

She hesitated, but finally decided to bring up her suspicion that they'd never spoken of. "What if these feelings are just because of...a possible mating bond between us? What if this is just one more thing in my life that I have no control over?"

When she mentioned the mating bond, Cassian seemed to go still for a moment, but then shook his head at her. "Remember what I told you? Mates don't have to care about each other. As far as I'm aware, Elain still doesn't seem to have any kind of feelings for Lucien. Rhys and Feyre are an extraordinary case. Do you feel something more than a strong pull to me or more than a feeling of possessiveness? Then whatever you feel is real. It's not something that's been forced on you."

"The thought of losing you...or of you betraying me or disappointing me...it leaves me feeling dead inside. I just don't know what I'd do if any of that happened, and I couldn't tell if I truly felt like I couldn't live without you, or if it was because of some ridiculous bond between us," Nesta shook her head as the tears continued to fall.

Cassian brought his hands to the sides of her face and started wiping away her tears with his thumbs. "For the week of the Rite, I couldn't stop thinking about you and worrying about you. I missed you walking into my cabin unannounced and you rolling your eyes at me when I made some comment that you insisted was ridiculous. I missed your glares, your insults, and those rare times you'd give me a small smile. I missed you. I know, without a doubt, my feelings for you are real and are my own. They aren't because of some possible bond."

Her heart hammered within her chest. She remembered how it occurred to her during the Rite that she may never be able to tease Cassian again, never get to hear him make a silly sexual comment again, never feel the thundering of her heart when he called her "sweetheart," and never get to just simply...talk to him.

She had missed him immensely. Even the week leading up to the Rite where they didn't see each other...she missed him.

Was she relieved that her feelings were indeed her own? Her feelings for him were so overwhelmingly strong that it slightly frightened her.

She took a deep breath. "When I was on Ramiel...something in my magic called to the magic of the monolith. It brought to life all the nightmares I had had in the past year."

Cassian's eyes widened at this information.

"And those nightmares involved you saying I was unworthy of love, or you dying by that Cauldron's blast of light...and they always left me feeling so broken. Then today, I dreamed I woke up, and you were gone for good, claiming your feelings for me were just because of the bond. So when you weren't here when I really did wake up, I was terrified."

Cassian continued to rub her face. "I'm so sorry. I know I've given you reasons to not trust me by failing to protect you and failing to keep some of my promises...but I'm determined to follow through with my promises now. I will not abandon you."

Nesta nodded as she grabbed onto his forearms. "I know," she whispered. "And I'm sorry for the way I've treated you and for shutting you out."

"We both have things to work on," Cassian replied honestly. "And we can work through them together."

"Are you sure you want this? That you want me?" she couldn't help but ask, still feeling skeptical that this was all real.

Cassian sighed. As he firmly held her face still, he looked deep into her eyes. "I've never wanted anything more. Don't let your doubts consume you. They'll drive you mad."

"You're ordering me around again," she stated as she narrowed her eyes at him, but she failed to be truly stern with him. A smile spread across her face.

Cassian hesitantly smiled back. "But do you want this?" he asked seriously.

While it was indeed a risk to be with him and that she feared where this fierce love would lead her... Who knew how much time she would have left in this life? This life she had never wanted...until now.

Now she had a life where she no longer stood by and did nothing. Now she could actually help other females and train them, help them find a greater purpose that was bigger than themselves.

And now she had the chance to freely love someone without the worries of status and if a man could merely provide for her for the rest of her life. Now she was able to take care of herself, while also being truly loved for who she was.

"Yes," she replied confidently.

The joy she saw on his face...It sent her heart racing, and she never wanted to see him without such joy again.

"Are you sure you want to risk being with an extraordinarily handsome male who sends your heart aflutter with every touch and will do anything to prove his love for you?"

Nesta rolled her eyes. "Against my better judgment, yes."

Cassian grinned, then brought his face down closer to hers so his breath brushed against her lips and tickled her nose. "So you admit that I am extraordinarily handsome?"

"Will you just kiss me already?"

Cassian chuckled. "Maybe I should tease you just a bit longer to give you a taste of the painful waiting I had to endure while you did the Blood Rite."

"Cassian," she said sternly and leaned forward to kiss him herself, but he dodged his head away from her.

"Have I told you how proud I am of you, my sweet Illyrian warrior, for completing the Rite?"

"No, but you can tell me later and just reward me now," she requested anxiously as she wrapped her hands around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I can't wait to see Devlon's face when he sees you. And when you start training the Illryian females...I don't know if I'll be able to control myself and keep my hands and lips off you," Cassian rambled on.

"Well, there's no need to control yourself right now," Nesta remarked impatiently.

"How are you feeling?" he questioned her sincerely.

"Physically, I'm completely fine. Emotionally, however, I'm so frustrated, I could slap you."

"Fine. I know how irresistable I am, so I'll put you out of your misery."

"How kind of you," she said sarcastically and groaned at his pompousness, but she was interrupted by Cassian capturing her lips in a kiss, and that groan turned into a moan of pleasure.

The kiss was firmer and more passionate than the two kisses they'd previously shared since neither of them was dying this time. Cassian pushed her back against the door. With something behind her helping to support her, Cassian began to kiss her even more forcefully, as if nothing could satiate his appetite for her.

The passion and the force of his kisses nearly sent her knees buckling. Sensing her falter, Cassian ran his hand up along her thigh, sending an electrifying sensation through her body. His kisses didn't stop as he lifted her thigh up, then wrapped both of his hands beneath her bottom and lifted her off the ground. His wings flared out behind him, and Nesta lifted both her legs to encircle them around his waist.

When he tried to pull away from her, she wouldn't let him. Instead, she used her teeth to tug on his lower lip, eliciting a moan from him that sent a delighted thrill through her.

Eventually, Cassian managed to reluctantly pull his lips away from hers. Their faces were only an inch apart as they breathed heavily on each other. He tilted his head up at her, and Nesta rested her forehead against his.

"I love seeing you in my shirt," he growled. "And I love you, Nesta Archeron."

"I know," she answered smugly. "I got your letter."

"And what did you think of it?"

"It could've been written more neatly."

This time, Cassian rolled his eyes at her.

"It was a bit long too. It nearly put me to sleep," she added nonchalantly.

Cassian gave her a look to show he was unimpressed with her comments.

"And I don't think I would've survived the Rite without it," she finished seriously.

The amusement left Cassian's face and was replaced with a tender expression.

"I meant what I said when I wouldn't know what to do if you didn't survive the Rite," he told her. "The week of the Rite was unbearable...words cannot describe how it felt to see you return."

Nesta rubbed the back of his neck. "I may have been ill, but I meant it when I said I didn't want to waste anymore time either."

"Then we'll stop wasting it," he said in a low voice before leaving a trail of kisses along her jawline.

"I love you, Cassian," she mumbled before pulling his face so he was back to staring right at her. With a deep inhale of his woodsy scent, she fiercely kissed his beaming face.

The End

A/N: Man, writing this fic really took over my life. I'm a bit relieved it's over and will now probably take a break from writing Nessian :)

Thank you SO much to everyone who has read this/left reviews/subscribed to it/bookmarked it! I hope you enjoyed this final part! I would love to get a review from you and thank you personally! :)

When I first had this fic idea, I only wanted to write an angsty Nessian goodbye before the Rite and a cute reunion scene between them after Nesta survives the Rite...my how this mini fic evolved haha. I feel like the Rite is probably way more difficult than what I've described... I'm still learning how to write scenes that are action-y and aren't focused on romantic drama, haha. So that's really why I only focused on some days of the Rite for Nesta. :D

Anyway, thanks again! I hope you all have a fabulous day!