"Sugar honey ice tea," Jason's savior (Guardian angel? He's never been one to think about what's after but the blonde who'd appeared out of no where and then saved him from the Joker might just make him change his mind.) exclaims and he blinks before raising an eyebrow.

"This is bad," she mutters out loud.

"Who are you," he asks the girl.

"A dead girl walking," his angel in pajama answers him (her face completely serious) without answering him at all. "Your dad is finally going to murder me. I'm still surprised he didn't when I slapped him."

It probably says something that Jason doesn't let her weird ass answers phase him (much). He had Dick for an older brother that occasionally visited him; he was used to weirdness. The guy ate ice cream from a batarang. Enough said.

There are many important questions. Are you angel? Why are you wearing pajamas then? (Well togas were uncomfortable. Jason knew this from the incident Alfred called a charming play which it HAD NOT been.) If you aren't angel how did just appear out of nowhere and saved me and my mother? Instead of asking this questions Jason asks: "You slapped Batman?"

A blonde eyebrow was raised. "Like you're one to talk. You told him to try and catch you before calling him a big boob!"

Jason felt no shame. Instead he was left more confused then ever. "How do you know that?"

With a completely serious face she answered, "I'm Batgirl."

"Bullshit," was Jason's immediate reply. "And that doesn't answer my question."

"Sshh, baby-older-brother. Let me untie you then you can help me save some other kids. This time Damian shall grow up knowing the miracles known as Disney movies, Cass will have a family earlier, and Tim will be saved from his pretty much neglectful parents," the supposed Batgirl declared.

Jason blinked at all of that. If his hands weren't still tied up he would be pinching himself. "You want me to help you kidnap kids?"

She gave him a bright grin. "If B going to murder me for this I might as well make as save the others. You know, the whole of you're going to make a mess might as well make a big mess."

"You're insane." Or possibly an insane dream from eating chili dogs before bed. Which one Jason wasn't sure since he had yet to pinch himself.

"I'm a member of the longer existing Dead Robins Club that doesn't even give you a lousy shirt. Not shocking Jay."

And that was how the big boob found his (alive and not beaten from a crowbar) son, the Joker (who had been knocked out by a crowbar which when asked the supposed Batgirl said was well deserved), Jason's biological mother, and a cheery (possibly slightly insane) blonde teenager who had taken out the Joker in Lion King pajama pants and a tank top that said "After this we're getting waffles."

Despite his years of being Batman that surely consisted of seeing weird shit Jason was pretty sure this was the weirdest shit his dad had ever seen.

A/N: Originally posted on ao3 under the pen name youngjusticewriter.