Here's the actual first chapter!

Ultimately a Hiccstrid endgame, but not gonna spoil the adventures this lot go on.

For clarity; naturism is not an inherently sexual thing, so if anyone you know is into being comfortable and naked... don't assume they'll misbehave like these lot. But I'm an awful person who smuts up everything.

On we go! (I don't know where the naked places are I am making this up as I go)

-HTTYD-

Fighting over the wine bottle, and already fairly tipsy, Astrid managed to wrestle it from Heather and take a long swallow. Heather stole it back, draining the rest while their glasses sat empty and unused on the table.

"Why are all the men we date terrible? And that woman, in your case."

Heather shrugged, raising the empty bottle with a sigh.

"We need more alcohol."

"No, we need a holiday. A totally jerk- and man-... a date free holiday. No drama. Just sunshine and alcohol."

Her friend went quiet, tapping her fingers on her chin.

"Just us getting drunk on beaches with no disaster dates? Excellent idea."

Heather crawled off her bed, rather ungainly after more than two drinks and Astrid very lovingly laughed herself silly as Heathers awful balance saw her trying to stand with the support of her desk. She returned with her laptop and another bottle of wine, which Astrid confiscated to ensure no liquid-electronic accidents.

"Where are we going? Wait. Don't we both have jobs?"

"I'm being nagged to use up my annual leave anyway. So are you, probably, cus you never take time off."

Humming, Heather nodded.

"Ok. Where?"

They pondered drunkenly, thinking longingly of sun, sea and sand.

"Australia? It's hot there."

Heather frowned.

"It's one Hel of a long flight though."

Astrid nodded, pulling on the wine bottle again. It was horrible, but she was drunk enough to drink it anyway.

"Greece?"

"How longs that..." Heather rolled over, tapping at her keyboard "under four hours? Ok. Greece it is. Ok... Greek. Beach. Ho-li-days..."

Heather talk-and-typed a lot. Astrid always knew when her friend was sexting someone, as she kept quiet. Drinking some more as she pictured tanning on a baking beach somewhere, Astrid listened to Heather mumble to herself.

"Oh hey, found a good deal. Two weeks at a resort with it's own hotel and beach, plus they do day trips and guided tours if you wanna go see places in Mykonos. And both indoor and outdoor pools?"

"My-ka-who?"

Maybe Astrid was drunker than she thought.

"The city. Beach filled place. Which is what we want."

"Can you pay it and I pay you back? Since I think that's how it works."

An hour of giggling over Heather's clumsy typing and apparently booking in as a couple who wanted separate rooms - Astrid wasn't sure what happened there - and an argument with the website where they booked flights, they were much drunker and in possession of a holiday booking.

"So we go book the time off work and then I guess we had better go shopping?"

Astrid nodded, dimly wondering if booking the holiday before telling work was a good idea. Ah Hel, she could always lie.

"But we gotta promise. No boys. Or girls. Or jerks. Which comes under previous."

"Promise. Just us."

Luckily, they both got the time off with no real incident. Impressive considering Astrid a rotten hangover and wished everyone who breathed too near her was dead. Both not massive fans of shopping, she and Heather did the full holiday-clothes, new swimwear and buckets of sun protection all in one days work.

Next was being turned into a pin cushion with a few booster shots for safe travel, not that Astrid really expected to pick up rabies or hepatitis, but better safe than sorry. Which was also her logic for putting condoms in her and Heathers suitcases - despite their promise, they were grown women. It was sensible, even if Astrid still had zero intentions of putting anything in her mouth that wasn't Greek food, alcohol or ice cream. Maybe water.

Clearly, she needed to unwind. Astrid was tense and wound up, more so than usual if all she wanted to do was get drunk and dream about murdering her boss. But first, she needed to find her passport.

Lugging suitcases to the airport at the crack of dawn, Astrid argued with security about the 'weird shape' in her suitcase that turned out to be where she had rolled up her socks and tucked them in shoes as a space saver. Heather was so tired she handed over a receipt from service station breakfast instead of her boarding pass, but eventually they were packed in like sardines on a plane, jetting off for a much needed break.

Heat hit them as soon as they exited the plane, and the two groaned in concert as they shoved sunglasses on their faces.

"Oh gods yes. That's what I wanted."

After an incident with the taxi guys bad English, they made it to the hotel. The hotel wasn't five star grandeur, but it was light and airy and smelled clean. The sun poured in through every available window and open door, gentle breeze waving past their legs as they went to check in.

"Enjoy your stay ladies."

"Thanks!"

Their rooms were next to each other, but not much more expensive than getting the same room - and Heather snored. Astrid went in to dump off her stuff, taking a quick shower and noticing there was an awful lot of beach towels, not to mention a couple of bottles of complimentary high factor sun cream.

Slathering herself in said cream, then putting on her two piece, Astrid stepped into her flip flops and wondered how nobody had invented beach footwear that didn't make a stupid noise. For whatever reason, they had given the girls key cards to each others rooms, so Astrid let herself in to Heathers. Seeing her friend naked wasn't exactly new for Astrid, and Heather looked up with a smile.

"Oh great. Can you do my back?"

"Sure. Do mine after?"

In their swimmers, complementary beach towels slung over their shoulders, Astrid and Heather headed down to the ground floor. Following the sign to the beach, a staff member points out the changing area to them. Astrid thought it a bit odd since they were already in bikinis, but maybe it was standard patter since he'd said it like it had left his mouth a hundred times before.

As they got outside, the changing areas resided on the turn of a path they'd follow to the beach. The sun was beating down on her skin nicely already, and the prospect of a fortnight with no work, no bad dates, no concerns other than sunscreen and how much ice cream she could eat was highly inviting.

Then a naked woman exited the changing stand.

She and Heather stopped dead, looked at each other before looking back as though checking if it was a joint hallucination.

Nope. She was still there, still naked, holding only a towel and a bundle of yellow fabric.

"You took your time Val!"

"Oh, the buttons on my dress got caught on my hair! All fine now."

The voice belonged to a very large and equally naked man who was coming back up the path in search of this woman. Astrid didn't know where to put her eyes, but found herself drawn to the freely hanging genitals of the large man like one would be drawn to the scene of an accident. He was just... standing there. Naked.

Astrid had a terrifying lightbulb moment. Suddenly the staff comment, the complementary suncream and pile of towels all made sense.

"Heather... have you booked us into a naturist resort?"

She managed to drag her eyes away from the strangers penis, staring in horror at her best friend. Astrid glanced at the ocean, and realised there was a litany of naked bodies leaping in and out of it.

"Are you girls alright?"

Oh no. The naked woman was looking at them. Astrid had to work very hard to look up, even harder when the woman transpired to be inordinately tall, putting her chest basically at Astrid's eye level.

"I uh..."

"I think they might be here by accident Val."

The large naked man approached too, thankfully stocky enough that she couldn't see his... genital area now.

"Oh my. You do know this is a naturist resort, right?"

Heather shook her head; Astrid couldn't find her voice.

"I don't think this has ever happened before. Well, jf you decide to join in, I think you'll find it very... liberating. Come along Stoick, I'm sure they are nervous enough."

The two naked people walked off hand in hand, leaving Heather and Astrid stood there, stunned. Well, only Astrid, as it turned out. Heather was already moving to the changing rooms.

"Heather!"

"What? We'd look weirder wearing clothes. When in Rome, yanno?"

"We're not in Rome!"

Astrid knew Heather was comfortable stripping off in front of her, but not a beach full of strangers. Even so, her friend exited a minute later, completely naked save for sunglasses and flip flops.

"Come on! I wanna sunbathe."

Shooed into the changing room, Astrid pulled the thing along the front to ensure she was totally covered and private. Was she really doing this? What if people stared? Would they stare? Wasn't everyone naked?

Taking off the swim gear was easy enough, tucking it into her little beach bag equally simple. Convincing herself to go back out there was another matter altogether. Taking a deep breath - Astrid Hofferson didn't get scared! - she swished the cover back, and walked out. Without her bag.

Swearing, Astrid went back and grabbed the damn thing. She may or may not have positioned her things to cover herself up a little. Heather tapped her feet impatiently.

"You done?"

"You could have gone without me."

"You would have killed me and tossed my body in the ocean."

Astrid conceded that; Heather was right.

"True."

Swallowing thickly, Astrid forced her reluctant legs to follow the path around.

And seriously, everyone was naked. Completely naked. Just walking around... naked. Astrid was still in disbelief. Looking around, there was a wide variety of body types everywhere she looked. A complete spectrum of colour, height, size and shape.

"Ah, you decided to join in then!"

Oh gods it was the couple. Astrid very purposefully looked only at faces.

"Well, figured I would have a go. Although I am worried about sand..."

Heather seemed to have gone native already.

"That's one of the reasons everyone has a towel."

Naked woman was very friendly and smiley.

"Good shout. Hi, I'm Heather. This is Astrid."

"I'm Valka, this is my husband-"

"Stoick! I thought I heard your mellow presence."

A tall blonde joined the couple, also totally naked. This would take some getting used to. Especially that they hugged, touching each other in a clearly platonic way despite no clothes whatsoever.

"Mala! So glad you made it."

"I would not miss it. Who are your friends?"

"Ah, these ladies booked in here by mistake. Still, they seem to be joining the spirit. We were just about to offer to show them around."

"Oh, that would be great. Astrid will remember how to talk soon."

"I hate you."

Heather grinned.

"Told you."

The couple - Australian woman with long braided hair, Scottish man with large reddish-ginger beard - led the two confused girls amongst a sea of other naked people, pointing out things like the way to the indoor pool, the beach house that had drinks and ice cream, and even where they could play mini golf. All in the buff.

Astrid knew she was never letting Heather book a holiday drunk again.

-HTTYD-

I'll be back to this once I've caught up on one shots and other stories... but here's the first proper chapter!