Black and White

Author's Note: Well, I thought I'd write something a little closer to canon if Steven got to meet White Diamond. But when Blue and Yellow take him back to Homeworld, she might end up being corrupted instead. It was a theory I'd been tossing around in my head a while, so I figured I'd write a one-shot for it.

"A sick thought can devour the body's flesh more than fever or consumption."

― Guy de Maupassant, Le Horla et autres contes fantastiques

"Every sickness has an alien quality, a feeling of invasion and loss of control that is evident in the language we use about it."

― Siri Hustvedt, The Shaking Woman, or A History of My Nerves

By: VampireQueenAkasha

~O~

Blue and Yellow had been staring at him for a long time.

After the fighting had stopped and Steven had reached out to the two Diamonds, they could still not fathom how Pink Diamond was now...him. Blue was far more curious by the notion and thrilled to have Pink back at all in some form; it was Yellow who studied him with a more clinical eye.

"How could this have happened?" Blue asked, glancing down at him, awestruck. "How could Pink have shaped her form into...this?"

Yellow leaned forward, studying Steven curiously. She tapped her chin with one finger and ignored the shifting nervousness of the others standing close to him. She knew that despite the fighting having ended, they would not stay away from him.

"Do you have her memories?" Yellow asked Steven, "Do you remember anything before?"

Steven held up his shirt a little to expose his gem. "No. I don't know anything about Homeworld or you two. I'm sorry."

"Hm..." Yellow murmured thoughtfully.

Blue took her hand and guided Yellow from the group, whispering to her. "Yellow, she will know what to do. We should take Pink back to her. It would help."

Yellow's eyes darkened a little. "Do you really think it would help? You know she isn't..."

Steven could hear a bit of their discussion from where he stood. He turned to the others and inhaled slowly. They still seemed on edge from the recent battle, but everyone was still in one piece, so there was that at least.

"How's everyone doing?" he asked, with a weak laugh.

"You almost died. Again." Connie said, eyes wide. She managed a laugh of her own, still shaken by the experience.

"Yeah. And the Diamonds are here. Talking." Bismuth added, clenching her fists a little. "To us. Right now."

"You're right. It's weird," Steven agreed, scratching the back of his head. "It's a lot to take in. But no one's hurt and we're all together. It'll be fine now. I mean...I hope so, anyway."

"Yeah, for now." Peridot pointed out. "I mean, you don't seriously think the Diamonds are going to listen to us and stop attacking. Just because you're Pink - Rose?" She groaned with frustration. "UGH. This is just too confusing!"

Steven turned to the Diamonds and watched them continue their discussion before he decided to approach. The others insisted he stay on the porch, but he held out one hand and calmly rebuffed them.

"Hey, uh..." Steven began carefully, walking up to Yellow and Blue. He didn't know quite how to approach this whole thing, "Everything okay over here?"

Yellow and Blue turned to him now.

"Yes," Yellow said, evenly, "Blue believes your presence would benefit one of us on Homeworld. However, I disagree." She shot the other Diamond a look with that last word. "You know that she's been unwell. I don't think she'd handle this revelation as well as we have."

"Wait, who's..." Steven held up two hands. "Unwell? What do you mean? Is there actually someone sick on Homeworld? I didn't think gems could get sick."

Yellow and Blue glanced at each other and Steven noticed an uneasy look touch their faces. It was the first time he'd seen concern like this from them. So there was something on Homeworld happening that they weren't telling him.

"Pink, you've been...gone for a very long time," Blue told her, sadly, "Things have changed on Homeworld." She hesitated again before continuing. "Gems have changed. But I believe there is one who can benefit from your presence."

"And I think we've just had Pink returned to us," Yellow argued, frowning at her. "It would be an act of folly to just throw her into another problem. I don't believe she would particularly - "

"Hold up." Steven interrupted. "'She'? Do you mean another Diamond?"

Yellow and Blue stared at him strangely.

"You can't be serious." Yellow said, dryly.

Blue looked at her. "Pink does not remember anything about herself or us before she became..." She gestured to Steven with a single wave of her hand. "this. Why would she remember her?"

Yellow sighed, but didn't disagree with her on that fact.

"I'll go." Steven suddenly said.

At that, every gem on the porch immediately rushed to her side, talking at once and protesting this action. Pearl shook her head frantically.

"Steven, you can't go!" she cried, "We just got you back from Homeworld!"

"She's right, this is crazy!" Amethyst added, "You can't trust them! It's not - "

Steven shook his head, facing them. "Guys! I know it's crazy. I know it's messed up. But if there's the slightest chance we can fix everything, we need to take it. We have to have faith."

Pearl looked frightened now. "Steven, you don't understand, she's - "

"Pearl, it's okay. I do understand now." Steven interrupted. "We need to fix what mom did. And if this is how we start, then we have to do this. You HAVE to trust me."

"Steven - " Garnet started to protest.

"Please, everyone just listen to me!" Steven insisted. "I HAVE to do this!"

No one wanted to see him leave. Everyone definitely had their arguments thrown out at him. Steven knew it was bad. He was leaving again and had no idea what was waiting for him. But he had to take the chance if it meant the fighting would stop. The Diamonds were talking to them now. It was a step in the right direction, anyway.

Pearl took a step forward. "I'm coming with you."

"Okay." Steven said, with a smile.

Yellow glanced at Blue with dismay. "This is ridiculous." she snapped, taking her aside. "We're putting more at risk bringing Pink to her like this. We don't even know ourselves how she looks like this. What makes you think SHE will?"

"Who is she?" Steven asked.

O

The return to Homeworld was tense and sombre.

Pearl stayed close to Steven, cautiously watching the two Diamonds sitting beside each other on the ship. She was nervous. Yellow's vessel had been damaged, but not to the extreme of Blue's. They would have enough of it left to return to Homeworld.

Steven could feel Pearl shaking a little. He put his hand over hers and she relaxed somewhat. Whatever it was, it scared her. But he had to work to fix this. He had to meet this other Diamond if it meant stopping the fighting.

"Who was she?" Steven asked, looking up at Blue.

Blue glanced over at Yellow briefly before she spoke. "A Diamond. Like us. Although, not...like us." she explained, "I am Blue, she is Yellow. You are Pink and the other... White Diamond."

Pearl reacted to the name with a visceral shudder. Steven looked at her worriedly, but said nothing else and looked at Blue. Now he wanted more answers.

"White Diamond? Isn't she the same as you?" he asked.

"No." Blue told him. "She wasn't just another Diamond."

Her gem projected a memory. Pearl and Steven watched the image play out in a series of colors and shapes without features; the outline of a Diamond with white eyes, standing above gems with one gentle hand raised.

The tall, enormous being loomed over Homeworld, with a crest of white hair and enormous shoulders. Gems knelt before her and White Diamond gestured with one hand again.

"White Diamond is driven by logic. Order and a pursuit to continue our race." Blue continued. "Patient, kind and adored by all."

Pearl scoffed under her breath and it had Steven glance briefly to her with confusion before he turned his attention to the hologram.

The outline of White turned when the memory changed, standing before the small image of Pink Diamond. She had happy pink eyes and she waved at the stoic image of White standing before her.

Steven reached out with one hand and touched the holographic particules that made up Pink's visage.

"We all loved Pink. We loved her so very much, but White? White was different in this case. She spoiled her. Gave her what she wanted at every turn. She was the one who handed her the human zoo. But she didn't quite understand Pink's love for humans. None of us did, I suppose."

Steven looked toward Yellow, who didn't speak on the matter. Her face was pensive, but he could see a glimmer of guilt there come and go. He had heard it first hand when he connected with their minds after she'd stomped his shield.

Pink's hologram reached up to White and the larger being didn't move before she finally picked Pink up in her arms. The eyes of both holographic beings seemed happy. Pink was pointing up and White seemed to be talking with her.

Again, the hologram changed and White was now standing before Pink with a spherical object in her hand. She was pointing at it and Pink nodded her head every so often in response.

"She was her teacher for a time. Then, the task fell to Yellow and myself. White was busy constantly and could not devote time to many things. And then..."

The hologram changed, revealing White leaning against a table, holding her face in one hand. Another outline of Blue and Yellow approached, trying to console her, but she bit them away with a rough jerk of her hand.

"White didn't show herself much after Pink was shattered or..." Blue looked at Steven tearfully. "How long we've all mourned when we believed you to be gone. White, she... Well, you will soon see what happened soon enough."

O

Pearl stayed close to Steven as they walked the pristine path toward an enormous silver spire. He took her hand and noticed she was shaking. Blue and Yellow walked ahead of them, so it gave Steven a chance to talk with her.

"Pearl, are you okay?" he asked, quietly.

"No, Steven. I'm far from okay." she mumbled, wide eyes focused on the spire. "We're going to meet White Diamond."

"I know. I'm nervous too." Steven tried to alleviate her fears a bit. "But we're here together. So that's something, right?"

Pearl's frightened eyes focused on the statues and pale structures. Gems standing there like the very statues around them. They were colorless beings wielding sharp spears and staring straight ahead, unblinking and unwavering.

"Steven..." Pearl whispered, with a choked sound. "Who do you think creates pearls?"

Steven blinked, stunned. "What?"

Blue looked down at them and gestured with one hand. "Pink," she addressed Steven. "When we walk inside, I'd like you to not tell White who you are yet."

"Really?" Steven asked. "Why?"

"Just...not yet." Blue said, hesitantly. "Yellow is right. She may not handle it well all at once. We need to ease her slowly into this. You must understand, you've been gone a long time. Much has changed. SHE has changed."

Yellow made a face. She seemed worried all the same.

"But isn't that the point of me being here?" Steven asked. "To tell her I'm - Pink - wasn't shattered?"

"Yes, it is the point. But believe us, she will not handle such news so suddenly." Blue continued. "Now, come. Let's meet her." She started forward, but stopped and looked back down at Steven. "Another thing; do not stare at her."

Steven frowned. "Stare?"

"Please, Pink. Give me your word."

Steven could see how important it was. "Okay. Okay. I won't stare at her. I promise."

The Diamonds led them into the spire and passed two silent, silver and gray gems. Steven paused, stared at their unblinking faces for a moment before he followed them. He held Pearl's hand now to comfort himself, but also looked around at everything.

It was dark in the spire, barely lit by glowing stones. Gems like the ones outside were positioned in the corridors and saluted the two Diamonds as they passed. They didn't react to Steven's presence at all.

The two Diamonds walked into a larger chamber barely lit by sconces. A figure rested in an enormous cathedra in the shadows. Whoever it was, Steven felt a change in the air; the two Diamonds before him were suddenly guarded.

Yellow approached the figure and leaned down to whisper. Steven and Pearl stood in silence and watched cautiously at the interaction. The figure in the cathedra raised one hand and the sconces ignited brightly.

Steven was shocked by the sight of the being in her throne.

White Diamond.

O

She looked horrific.

One half of her face was pristine; bone-white. She had a crown of white, spiked hair, long black fingernails and a flowing, elegant cloak. Broad shoulder pads, long throated collar and black heels; she was definitely dressed like a Diamond should be.

The other half of her face was twisted, eye a pool of black. Her teeth were sharp, the hair on the other half wild and unkempt.

"What have you brought before me, Yellow?" White spoke in a soft, oddly serene voice.

It certainly didn't match such a grotesque, twisted being. Steven quickly averted his eyes as Blue instructed when she looked down at him. She smiled and it made her features look more frightening.

"Come now. Don't be shy, little thing," she said, "Come closer."

Steven looked up at Blue and she nodded reassuringly. He swallowed thickly, but stepped forward anyway. White smiled when she sensed his fear.

"Yes, you are right to be afraid in my presence, human." she told him. "What do they call you?"

"S-Steven..."

"Speak up." White said, with a faint edge in her voice.

Steven winced before he straightened and spoke louder. "Steven! I'm Steven!"

White smiled her approval. "Good. That's better." she told him. "Now tell me. Who are you? Truly? Yellow and Blue would not take a simple human before me if you didn't have something of interest to them."

Steven glanced up at Blue, who warily met his gaze.

"I'm Steven Universe." he told her, keeping his word of not telling White who he was exactly.

White reacted somewhat. She gave a small chuckle. "Steven Universe? Oh!" She laughed gently now, amused. "Ah, yes. The legendary Steven Universe. Oh, the stories I have heard of you."

Steven managed a weak laugh. "Yeah, I have been busy," he tried to joke. "I...hope all those stories were good."

Blue quietly cleared her throat and Steven glanced up at her again. She surreptitiously shook her head once. A nonverbal warning.

Oh. No jokes.

It certainly proved to be true as White's good eye narrowed somewhat. "Hm." she said, her tone darkening slightly. "If Blue and Yellow have spoken with you, then surely you know that I have little appreciation for human humor."

"You're right," Steven stammered, "I'm sorry."

White seemed content with the apology. She leaned back in her cathedra. "So, what brings you before me?" Her eyes landed onto Pearl. "What a curious matter; you owning a pearl. And she is a special model."

Pearl withered under her sharp stare.

"In fact, this particular pearl looks quite...familiar." White's voice filled with fascination. She leaned forward a little, claws tapping her chin. "Where have I seen it before?"

Steven looked at Yellow, then to Blue. Moment of truth. They confirmed permission to speak to her with nods.

"White, you know what happened when we used the weapon," Yellow began. "How it corrupted you and everything on Earth. Pink was gone. Or so we believed."

White furrowed her brow. Her voice shook slightly. "Take care in how you speak, Yellow." she warned.

"I am," Yellow continued, firmly. Her voice caused Blue to look at her hesitantly, but she continued anyway. "Pink wasn't shattered as we thought. She put on a ruse to escape. She wanted freedom of choice, a desire we were too blind to see."

White blinked, staring at her strangely. She looked down at Steven now and he felt himself stiffening under her stare.

"This is Pink." Yellow said, gesturing to Steven. "In another form."

White's eyes widened in a strangled gasp. For a moment, she stared at Steven and a tormented grimace touched her face. It made the corruption look far more frightening.

Then, her features smoothed out and she regarded Yellow with coldness. "If this is a joke, Yellow..." she whispered, with menace. "I am not amused."

"It's not a joke!" Steven insisted. "It's hard to explain, but if you give me just a minute, I can prove to you I'm really Pink Diamond."

White abruptly stood, startling them. Pearl instinctively put her arms around Steven and backed away. The larger being stared at them, her features filled with anguish before twisting into an unsettling sort of fury.

"You...come to me claiming you are Pink? You are truly cruel..." she whispered.

Yellow heard the change in her voice first. "Blue, take Pink outside." she quickly said.

Blue immediately scooped up Steven and Pearl in her hands. Steven struggled and shook his head anxiously.

"Wait, what are you doing?" he cried. "Put me down!"

White's voice took on a dangerous, shaken pitch. "You bring this thing to me and call it Pink?" she hissed, glaring at Yellow now, "I see now that my last lesson didn't sink in."

Yellow stood her ground. "White, don't..."

"You bring this upon yourself."

O

Steven struggled against Blue. "Put me down! Blue, stop! She's going to hurt Yellow! We need to go back inside and help her!"

Blue was silent, watching the doors over her shoulder. Steven and Pearl looked at her, knowing exactly what that look meant.

"This happened before." Steven said, matter-of-factly.

"Yes." Blue replied, sadly. "I should have known it would happen again, but I had truly hoped that White would see reason."

"Get me back inside! I can reach her just like I reached you and Yellow!"

Pearl shook her head. "Steven, this was a bad idea!" she insisted, "We need to get back to Earth and get you far from her!"

Steven ignored her. "Blue Diamond," he said, addressing the Diamond, "I need to get to sleep. I can reach White again, but I need your help."

There was a rough sound of blows being struck. Yellow's grunts of effort.

"White! AH! Enough!" Yellow shouted from behind the doors. "DO NOT MAKE ME HURT YOU!"

White snarls echoed and chilled the others behind the door. "Do not make ME hurt YOU."

"I will put the shackles back on you, White, so help me - AH!"

Steven looked up anxiously at Blue. "Blue, please!"

Blue seemed to hesitate for a moment before her gem glowed brightly. Her aura enveloped him mere moments as his world blackened.

He awoke once more in the mindscape; he could see the shapes of Blue and Pink standing still as he had during the fight on the beach. Pearl's mind-projected visage was sitting down, worry on her face. Blue's loomed over her and her mind-projected visage was swathed in blue flames. She too sat down, fear on her face.

"This was a mistake." Blue's thoughts echoed in the air. "White can't accept it. I used to be like that, but White is far gone. She blames herself..."

Pearl was holding herself. "White Diamond can't be reasoned with. She can't. Steven can try, but it isn't like it was before. She's...scary."

Steven furrowed his brow and made his way through the doors. He was shocked to find White's figure standing stock still, but her mind-visage was a swirling mass of black and silver. She had multiple versions of her face attached to the mass, talking together at once. Yellow's was standing near her, grunting and punching in the same golden fire.

White's talked all at once and it was difficult for Steven to hear one particular voice. Still, he made his way up to her and grimaced at the sight.

"No. Stop it..."

"...Liar. You're lying to me. I'll show you what becomes of a liar..."

"...Pink, I didn't mean to frighten you. Forgive me..."

"Filth. Filth and lies! It's not her! She's gone. Far from my eyes and it's all because of me. I didn't see..."

Steven carefully approached, but the black mass gave a thunderous roar of rage.

"BEGONE! TORMENT ME NO LONGER!" the chorus of voices wailed.

Steven was almost thrown from the crown of hair. He gripped it with two hands and winced at the anguished snarling and hisses. He yelled over the voices as loudly as he could.

"WHITE DIAMOND! PLEASE LISTEN! IT'S ME! I'M PINK!"

"Why are you doing this?" one of the voices moaned in a high, distressed voice. "Why do you keep doing this to me?"

The plaintive wails tugged at Steven's heart. He didn't know what it was, but it gave him enough strength to pull himself closer to the mass of black and silver White Diamond faces.

"Go away. Please...leave me in peace."

"You have to go away. It has to go away. Like before..."

"I can't do that, White. I can't leave you like this." Steven told her. "You have to stop hurting Yellow. Please. She and Blue only wanted to help you. But Pink is here. I'm here."

He raised a hesitant hand toward the black mass where he found her chest and once he touched her, the form of the being froze. A wash of pink warmth flooded her and White gave a shocked gasp, eyes focusing on the gem of Steven's belly.

"It...can't be...!" she gasped. "It's not possible!"

"It is! Now you have to stop, White! Stop hurting them!"

O

White's eyes snapped open and she looked around the room. She didn't notice she'd pinned Yellow to the floor with her hands at her gem. Yellow weakly looked up at her and White quickly scrambled from the smaller Diamond. She stared at her mismatched hands and gave a few choking sobs.

"Oh, Stars... What have I become...?" she moaned.

The doors opened and Yellow struggled to her feet. White looked up and gasped tearfully when she noticed Steven and Blue standing there. Steven looked at her with a determined smile and she reached out with two hands.

"Pink! By the Stars above, you really are here!" she gasped.

Steven looked up at Blue, who smiled reassuringly. He made his way to her and White took him gently into her hands. She was much larger than the other two and Steven found himself barely going up to her finger.

"Pink..." White smiled sorrowfully. "Forgive me."

"It's okay, White..." Steven said, "I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"...Everything."

Blue helped Yellow straighten herself and the three Diamonds looked down at Steven. Then, they looked at each other before embracing. Steven was between them all and he looked toward Pearl, who seemed relieved.

"I have so many questions, Pink," White said, breathlessly. Tears trickled down her cheeks. "So many."

"I do too." Steven agreed, with a sheepish smile.

White laughed gently and fresh tears fell again. "Oh, Pink. You cannot fathom how much I've missed you."

Steven looked at Blue and Yellow before laughing quietly.

"I think I can."

He looked at her, at the gruesome corruption she had been made to bear for so long. He had no idea how it had happened, but maybe there was a way to fix it.

"We have a lot of work to do to fix this," Steven told her. "What do you say?"

White was contemplating that for a moment. She smiled and nodded.

"Yes. Let's get to work, Pink."

O

Note - Steven encountering White's mindscape form was inspired by the OST "Vicar Amelia" from Bloodborne. The various voices you can hear in that OST also inspired the numerous forms of White talking at once.