A/N: OK I'm absolutely new to NCIS LA but totally in love with Deeks since I discovered the show like two months ago. Since then I watched the whole series and started to watch it AGAIN from season 2 (guess why?:) and since I'm also addicted and devoted to ff I couldn't resist trying my very poor skills at Deeks so be patient with me.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything. Like nothing at all. But if I could I would like to have Deeks just for one night (oh a girl can dream, can she?)

02x01 "Human Traffic"

Just after the end of the episode...

"Deeks?" Kensi came running around the corner where her new partner had vanished in a state that she had never seen him in before. Not that she had much experience with his states, they barely knew each other but somehow Kensi felt obliged to go and check on him. She spotted him leaning against a stone wall his back to her pulling at his hair trying to compose himself. "Deeks!" She called him again and she could see how his whole posture stiffened and he looked up at her. Moving closer Kensi could see the red circles around his blue eyes with a haunted and painful look that somehow made her think about hugging him. But she fought this feeling, she didn't know if Deeks would appreciate that form of affection just after what happened. Kensi was still trying to process half of the information that was revealed a moment ago.

"Now is not the best time for lecturing me." He spoke when she came closer his voice harsh and unwelcome without a trace of that warm banter he always had at his sleeve since they met. Only that made Kensi take a step back. He looked like a wounded animal ready to strike when feeling cornered.

"I wasn't planning on doing that I was …" She started talking trying to look into his eyes, but he shook his head and lowered his eyes.

"You were what?" He cut her off mid-sentence looking back at her his voice angry and hurtful. "You wanted to tell me that everything will be OK?" He almost spat the words, Kensi just stood frozen not able to make any move. She was petrified by his look and words but Deeks was talking more to himself than to her "Or how could I be so stupid to get involved, or maybe why I was such a crappy partner to not only get her killed but also to get her framed for being a dirty cop." He pulled at his hair that fell into his eyes.

"Deeks…" Kensi said in a very soft voice, she reached her hand to put on his shoulder but decided against it. She absolutely had no idea how to make him better but what made her even more surprised was that she cared enough to want to make him better and that was new to her.

"No Kensi." Deeks pushed himself from the wall of the building and took a step back from her. "This is not a good time to talk to me or even to be around me." He sighed and shoved his hand into his pockets finally looking at her and Kensi didn't like what she saw in his eyes. He was hurt and betrayed and beyond tired, but he continued to talk "I'm sorry…but you haven't known me long enough to be dealing with the crap that I dragged to myself. I don't need you, I have enough with my own conscience screaming at me right now. I need to go…"

He turned around he needed to return to his car. He needed to return home to get a grip on his life and to sort out those feelings that were building inside. He needed to clear his head and he knew that Kensi was trying to help but it was just too soon. He needed to be alone. He could hear her walking behind him her eyes staring at his back. When he was at his car she called after him. Sam and Callen were waiting by their car with LAPD officers that had come to the crime scene. It should be an easy case since the recent events. He was not needed here. He could go home.

"Deeks" Kensi's voice made him look at her again. There she was all badass and confident but the look in her eyes was different. Deeks didn't know if he liked that look. He didn't need her pity.

"Yeah?" He answered not really wanting to look at her. But she came closer to him so only he could hear what she wanted to say.

"Whatever stupid idea comes to your mind please call me before you do it…" She wanted to add something, but she decided not to, the words I'm still your partner died on her tongue looking at the circumstances they weren't the best choice to finish that sentence. But she could see that Deeks heard them anyway. He looked at her and she could see a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. It was progress.

"I don't know if I can promise you that." He answered and got into his car but before he closed the door he looked at her and added in a softer tone. "But I will call you later…"

A/N: tell me what you think. I just couldn't stop thinking about this scene after watching and rewatching this episode, I definitely LOVE emotional Deeks!