VoltronPals
Published on Oct 26, 2029

Part one of two. Intros and exactly what you'd expect to happen when you decide to fly a mysterious alien spaceship.


"Greetings Earthlings!" chirped a young woman as soon as the video began. Behind her a trio of teens snickered into their hands while a fourth watched on, confused. Behind them was a young man who had a hand over his face and an older man who just smiled at the camera.

The scene cut away to show the smallest of the teens sitting in front of a starry background. "Hello, losers, and welcome to the first day of space school. First lesson: the Galaxy Garrison is run by a bunch of jerks and liars. Some of them are even bo-"

The video skipped and now the young man from before was standing behind the teen, who looked annoyed.

"I apologize if I've insulted anyone by referring to them as losers or jerks," the teen said in a monotone. "The guys at the Garrison are liars though," they added with a grumble.

The young man cleared his throat.

"What? You disagree, Mr. Pilot Error?"

The man sighed. "Fair enough."

"Anyways, we've decided to put together this account mostly as our own little video diary while we're out here kicking alien butt and defending the universe.

"Oh yeah, that's right! ALIENS ARE REAL PEOPLE! THE TRUTH IS RIGHT HERE!"

"Pidge, please."

"I don't need to believe, Shiro!

"Right so introductions before we get to the good stuff. My name's Pidge. You can thank Hunk and I for all this. We're the tech geniuses of the group with him on hardware and myself on software. We basically just-"

"Pidge, I don't think they need all the details on how we're posting videos from space," Shiro said, leaning forwards. "I doubt many of them would even understand what you're talking about half the time."

"Yeah, you're right I guess," they grumbled, slouching.

"Besides, won't that just make it harder for the Garrison to shut us down?"

"Yes, yes it will," Pidge hummed. "Well let's just say it involves satellites, wormholes, alien pseudo-science, and a makeshift relay." They waved at him and he straightened up to avoid getting hit. "The guy you see behind me is Shiro, by the way. Say hello, Shiro."

The guy smirked. "Hello Shiro."

The camera paused and zoomed in on the teen's appalled face.

The camera returned to it's normal angle as the man chuckled and waved. "Hello, my name is Takashi Shirogane, but everyone's just called me Shiro since middle school. I am - or was, I mean - a pilot for the Galaxy Garrison."

"Yeah, until you got abducted by aliens," Pidge said, wiggling their fingers.

The video switched to a cartoon of an angry purple person in orange armor with bat ears and a robot eye standing over a Shiro in torn clothing and chains. "Yeah, I don't remember much about my time with the Galra, the aliens. I didn't even realize it had been a year since I was taken until I talked to Keith," Shiro's voice said over the picture.

The scene changed back to the star room, this time with two of the other teens sitting in front of the camera, the skinny one and the confused one.

"Hello there, the name's Lance," the skinny one said with a wink. "Seventeen, cuban, ridiculously handsome."

"Are you done?" the other asked.

"What are you even doing here?"

"That's what I want to know! Why are we doing this?"

"We told you already, it's fo-"

The video began fast forwarding through the two going back and forth as a caption came up reading They did this for fifteen minutes before the camera even started and over ten while it was recording!

The video returned to normal speed as the shorter teen threw his hands up. "I still don't understand."

"Look, we're just doing it for fun, okay?

"Alright, so Pidge will have to edit that out. Where was I?"

"Flirting with the camera."

Lance glared at him. "Either do your introduction or leave."

"Fine," he stood up and walked out of frame. A moment passed of Lance watching him then he came back and sat down next to Lance. "I think Pidge locked the door."

A caption scrolled across the screen reading Darn right I did!

"Guess it's introduction then," Lance said, gesturing to the camera.

The shorter teen growled and crossed his arms. "I'm Keith."

"… And?"

"And what? What else am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know. Some fact about yourself, backstory, interesting tidbit, just anything. We're trying to break the ice."

"I hate stuff like this. I don't know what to say!"

"Start easy, what's your favorite animal?"

"Hippos."

Lance paused for a second and just stared at the other boy. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Keith just shrugged.

"Okay," Lance said slowly. "What's your favorite color?"

"Color of what?"

"Just color. In general."

"I don't know. None?"

"Right, this isn't getting us anywhere. Moving on!"

Accompanied by a lion's roar, yellow banners slid across the screen to replace the two with the last remaining teen.

He gave a nervous wave and smile. "Hi internet, my name is Hunk. I'm an engineer and culinary artist. The food part's more of a hobby though. I just like good food… but who doesn't right?" He held up a plate of green goop. "Alteans apparently."

The scene returned to the star room, this time with the four teens and Shiro. The three sat in front of the camera while Shiro stood behind them and Keith stood off to the side, leaning against the wall.

"Alright, now that that's over, let's get on with our story!" Lance cheered.

"Right, so Shiro basically covered what happened to him, or what he remembers at least. Aliens abducted him and the rest of the Kerberos Mission - if you don't know what that is, what are you doing with your life?" Pidge scoffed.

"Not focusing it around space travel?" Shiro offered.

"Lame!" Lance and Pidge said together.

"So if you don't know what the mission was, you can look it up. The public information on it is all accurate as long as you ignore the fact they lied about the mission failing because of pilot error," Pidge said.

Keith said something that was covered by a chime. Shiro just rolled his eyes while Pidge shot him a glare and said, "Rover, mark the time so I can go back and bleep that out."

A series of beeps came from off screen.

"Keith, we're trying to make this family friendly," Hunk pointed out.

"Yeah, watch your quiznaking language!" Lance chuckled.

"I thought they said family friendly," an accented voice said from off screen. "Shouldn't Lance mind his language as well."

"Naw, it's cool. No one's going to care about their kids running around yelling alien swears, just the Earth ones," Lance said.

"Do I really need to be here for this?" Keith could barely be heard asking as he leaned closer to Shiro.

"Yes," all four of the others on screen said at once.

"Back on topic," Lance said, clapping. "So Shiro got abducted during the mission along with the other two members."

"My father and brother," Pidge interrupted

"Right, but then Shiro managed to somehow escape three… four days ago?" Lance turned to the others, who shrugged. "Something like that."

The scene changed to a picture of a ship crashing while cartoon versions of the three watched on. Lance stood on a boulder in a heroic pose, while Pidge and Hunk hugged each other with scared expressions. A caption read Not an accurate reconstruction, LANCE!

Over it, Lance's voice said, "So Pidge, Hunk, and I had been chilling when we saw Shiro's ship go crashing into the desert. We thought it was aliens, mostly because Pidge was talking about the aliens he was spying on. Of course that meant we had to go check it out."

The picture switched to an actual photo of Shiro tied to a gurney surrounded by people in hazmat suits, captioned Courtesy of a Galaxy Garrison surveillance camera.

"I managed to hack into the Garrison's cameras and we found out that they had Shiro," Pidge's voice said. "We started to plan how to break in and get him, but Keith beat us to the punch."

The video switched back to the group, four of whom were staring at Keith.

"What?"

"It's your turn. What happened with you?" Shiro said.

"Pidge already explained. I rescued you."

"Yeah, but why? The people want details!" Lance said.

"What people?"

"Keith please," Shiro said, setting his hand on Keith's shoulder. "Just explain why you came to rescue me."

"Yeah, you did kind of just come out of nowhere," Hunk pointed out. "At least we were already out hunting aliens at the time, sort of."

"Uh, well, the same as you. I thought it was aliens too."

There was a pause as the four just stared at him.

"Back up, you thought Shiro was an alien?" Hunk asked.

"Yes. I mean, no. I know Shiro's not an alien, I just didn't realize it was Shiro in there."

"You broke into a government facility, and assaulted medical officers, all because you wanted to meet an alien?" Pidge asked slowly.

"Well, I mostly just wanted answers from the aliens, but yeah, I guess."

"Keith, buddy, I think this conversation says more about you than anything you said during your intro," Lance snickered.

Keith huffed and marched off screen, only to be pushed back on. Shiro wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders before he could try again.

"So Keith rescued Shiro -"

"With my help," Lance cut in over Hunk.

"Not really," Pidge snorted.

"- then gave us all a ride away from the Garrison guys before they could catch us," Hunk finished.

"He drove us off a cliff," Lance butt in again.

"I had everything under control."

" You drove us off a cliff!"

"Boys," Shiro warned.

"After that Keith brought us to his creepy cabin in the des-" Hunk started again, but was once more cut off by Lance.

"I think cabin is being generous. It was a shack."

Keith shrugged. "Shed, technically."

"And after that Keith started rambling on like a crazy conspiracy theorist about weird energies and lion carvings," Lance said.

"It's wasn't a crazy conspiracy!"

"It sounded like a crazy conspiracy at the time."

"Then Hunk revealed he had gone through my bag," Pidge said over the two's bickering. "Without asking, might I add."

"I was hungry and looking for food!"

"Keith had food in the cupboards!"

"Keith had hermit food, not people food! Oh, no offense, Keith. I just don't understand how you can live off canned beans, meat, and fruit."

"Food's food."

"No, Keith."

"Bet that stuff would have tasted better than the food goo," Lance pointed out.

"True," Hunk agreed and some indecipherable grumbling came from offscreen. "But while I was in there I read some of Pidge's diary."

"I still have to get you back for that."

The scene changed to an overhead view of what appeared to be a bedroom. Hunk came in through a sliding door, yawning. He pulled back the blanket on the bed, revealing the words You know what you did! written in green goo across the sheets. "Oh come on Pidge, I said I was sorry," he whined, heading back out of the room.

The scene returned to the group.

"Sorry Pidge, I was just curious."

"Hunk, I love you, but you really need to remember that curiosity killed the cat," Lance said, leaning against the bigger boy.

"But satisfaction brought it back."

"Shut your quiznak, Keith."

"I still don't think that's how that word is used."

"And I don-"

The video cut and both Lance and Keith were gone.

"The children are in time-out because they can't play nice together," Pidge snorted.

"Pidge."

"And by time-out, he means they're locked in a maze and have to work together to get out."

"Hunk!"

"Hopefully they won't kill each other. Just in case, my bet's on Keith surviving longest."

Shiro groaned and ran his hand over his face.

"So Hunk figured out some of the data I got while spying on the aliens was the emission spectrum of a foreign element. We figured this element must have been apart of this weapon Shiro and I had heard the aliens talking about, Voltron, so Hunk rigged up a device to track it down."

"Yeah, and it lead us to this crazy alien ship that was shaped like a giant blue lion!" A photo came up of said lion with Lance leaning against its paw. It was captioned Blue boy included for size reference. Hunk's voice carried on without missing a beat. "We thought it was Voltron at first, but then Lance knocked on its force field and suddenly these images were flashing through our minds! We saw the Blue Lion flying with these other four lions and then BOOM!" The photo switched to another featuring a humanoid robot with different colored lions acting as its limbs. "They came together to make one even bigger robot guy!"

"It turns out the big guy was really Voltron. The Blue Lion was just a part of it," Shiro's voice explained.

"Speaking of Blue, Lance, genius that he is, decided to take it for a joy ride."

The video switched to Keith and Lance, both disheveled, half-awake, and in odd armor.

"Who wouldn't want to fly an alien spaceship if they found one abandoned and ready for flying?" Lance asked, throwing his hands in the air. He turned to Keith, looking ready for a fight, but the other boy just nodded. "See, even mullet agrees!"

"Although, your flying was terrible and you're an experienced pilot. If someone else with less skill than you tried that they probably would have died."

Lance opened his mouth to shout, the snapped it closed. He turned to look off to the side of the camera. "Was that a compliment or insult?"

Quiet snickering could be heard close by.

Keith blinked a few times before yawning. "Neither? I was just saying the truth… right?"

"How long were they in there?" came Pidge's whisper.

"Just under four hours," Shiro's voice sighed.

"Hey, it's not our fault! Who thought invisible electrified mazes were a good idea?" Lance shouted.

Keith shrugged, holding his hands up in an I don't know position. "Aliens?"

Lance glared at him as Pidge's muffled laughter rang out. "You did that on accident, didn't you?"

"Did what?"

The scene cut back to the others and Hunk turned to Pidge. "Speaking of which, we should probably put a disclaimer on these videos. The stuff we do isn't exactly stuff other people should be trying."

"He's got a point," Shiro agreed.

"You mean something like," Pidge started before the screen went black. "Warning: these people are all either professionals, geniuses, aliens, idiots, or some combination thereof. Do not try this at home," they continued as a caption reading just that scrolled up the screen.

The screen returned to the group and Shiro shrugged. "Works for me. Most are probably just going to assume this is fake anyways."

"Right, so where were we?" Pidge asked.

"Lance took Blue for a ride," Hunk said. "And then we went into space and ran into a Galra ship. It was pretty scary, but Lance managed to evade their lasers and we lead them away from Earth."

"And by away, we mean away. The lions are way faster than anything on Earth," Pidge added. "We traveled a month's worth of distance on the fastest Earth shuttle in just a few seconds in Blue."

"Yeah! And in no time at all we were shooting right past Kerberos! Then this giant blue wormhole opened up in front of us and Blue said we should go through it." Hunk paused and looked at the others. "We talked about the lions being sapient right?"

"I think so."

"Yeah, pretty sure."

The video paused and a caption scrolled across the bottom saying We did not. The lions are, in fact, sapient.

The video continued.

"So we all decided to go through it, mostly because we were still being followed by the Galra ship. The wormhole dropped us off right above this planet, air-us… Are-us?"

"Arus," the woman from the beginning of the video said from offscreen.

"Right, thanks Allura. So we landed on Arus and found this giant castle. And that's where we met our second batch of aliens."

"A story that will have to wait until next time," Pidge said as a chirping sound came from offscreen. "The video'll run too long if we keep going."

"Oh man, what are we going to do for a sign off?" Hunk asked.

"Can't we just sign off?" Shiro suggested. "Just, Team Voltron, signing off!"

"No!"

"We can do better than that. How about…"

"Cavast quiu!"

The group turned to Coran and Shiro asked, "What?"

"It's a traditional Vanix parting saying. It vaguely translates to, Until our stories meet again."

"Um… we might want to stick with something a bit more familiar, Coran," Hunk said.

"I thought it was a good idea," Allura hummed.

"What about, Let's go, Voltron Force!" Hunk tried.

"Voltron force?" Pidge raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it could be our team name."

"Nah. Hey, what about," the camera zoomed in on Pidge as they saluted to the camera, "Until next time, everyone! Voltron, disband!"


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