ANTE UP

A Beast Wars script written by Abhorrus

Beast Wars is the property of Hasbro

The scene: Megatron, Terrorsaur, Rattrap, Optimus Primal, Dinobot, and Waspinator are seated at a round table. There are piles of energon chips neatly stacked next to each robot.

Megatron: The game is seven card draw. Kings are wild because, quite frankly, it's good to be the king, yes.

Primal: (annoyed) You never shut up, do you Megatron?

Megatron: You would do well to remember that it isn't polite to insult your host.

Primal: Just deal already.

Megatron: Oooo. Such a commanding, authoritative tone, Primal. I can tell you're used to having your orders followed.

Primal: Is he always this annoying?

Terrorsaur: Oh yes! He never stops rambling on about himself.

Waspinator: That's right! It's always "I'm the mighty Megatron, yes. I'm the powerful Megatron, yes. I'm the annoying Meg..."

(Megatron grabs Waspinator by the neck.)

Waspinator: (Frightened) Eh? Nooooo! I'm the annoying one, Megatron! I'm the annoying one!

Terrorsaur: (Frantic) That's right! He's the annoying one. Not you. He is!

Megatron: Enough! Both of you! Pick up your cards!

Waspinator & Terrorsaur: Yes, mighty Megatron.

Rattrap: (Disgusted) Uh. If you ask me, I'd never follow a guy who gets the cards all slimy because he has to hold them in a big mouth.

Primal: (reprimanding) Rattrap!

Rattrap: What? Am I wrong? It's not my fault the big bozo's got a giant head for a right arm, is it?

Primal: That's not the point. Megatron's right. We could try to be a little nicer to him. After all, he was gracious enough to call a truce and call us over.

Dinobot: Besides, rodent, you said you were craving some excitement.

Rattrap: Excitement? Yes. Tyrannosaurus drool? No.

(Megatron slams his fist on the table and growls at Rattrap.)

Rattrap: Any time, any place, Megs.

Megatron: Very well then, vermin. Right here, right now. You in or out.

Rattrap: Yeah, yeah. I'm in.

Dinobot: I also.

Waspinator: Waspinator want in too.

Terrorsaur: I'm in.

Primal: I'm in too.

Megatron: As am I. Dealer takes two cards.

Terrorsaur: I need three.

Rattrap: Give me two.

Primal: Me too.

Dinobot: Grrrrr. I need three.

Waspinator: Waspinator needs no cards. He he he. He he he he he he!

(Everyone pauses and looks at Waspinator.)

Megatron: Ahem. Yes. Bet's to you, Terrorsaur.

Terrorsaur: I start with 5 energon chips.

Rattrap: I'll match that.

Primal & Dinobot: Me too.

Waspinator: Waspinator match and raise by 100.

Megatron: I'm out.

Terrorsaur: Fold.

Rattrap: I ain't stupid. I'm out.

Primal & Dinobot: Same here.

Waspinator: Eh? Why everyone fold? Waspinator have good hand.

Rattrap: That's why we folded, ya big maroon.

Waspinator: (sulkingly) Not fair. Waspinator supposed to win big.

Megatron: The deal is yours, Terrorsaur.

Terrorsaur: The game is 5 card stud. Aces are wild because I'm such an ace in the sky. Ha ha! Get it? I'm such an "ace" in the sky!

Rattrap: Oh brother. Another wild card theme.

Dinobot: Just deal the cards.

Terrorsaur: Okay, okay. Sheesh, no sense of humor at all among this bunch.

Primal: I must admit, Megatron, your invitation to play Poker came as a quite a surprise. I wasn't sure you were on the level until Dinobot assured us that you wouldn't use this as a means to trap us.

Dinobot: It's true. Megatron has always enjoyed a good game of Poker over anything short of conquest. He would play with his worst enemies if he thought it would provide a worthy challenge.

Primal: We are his worst enemies.

Dinobot: Precisely my point.

Megatron: Exactly. The game is probably the one good thing to come out of Cybertron's association with the humans. I found myself wanting a good challenge and you have to admit it is hard to find good players on this planet.

Rattrap: Boy, you said it. Snow Cat's too rigid to relax, Rhinox is too square, and Kid Cat's too green, though I think Cheetor would've proved a bigger threat than Bug Boy over there.

Waspinator: Hey!

Dinobot: Quit your incessant babbling. Let's get on with it.

Rattrap: Right. Open with 5.

Primal: See that.

Dinobot: Match and raise by 10.

Waspinator: Waspinator no play this hand.

Megatron: I'll match that wager.

Terrorsaur: I'm out.

Rattrap: I'll match your 10, Chomper Face, and raise you 15.

Primal: Too rich for my fluids.

Dinobot: I match and raise 20.

Megatron: Discretion is called for at this point, I believe. I'm out.

Rattrap: You and me, Lizard Lips. Match and raise 25.

Dinobot: No way I'm letting you get this pot. Match and raise 50.

Rattrap: I call.

Dinobot: Three of a kind. Eights. Beat that if you can, vermin.

Rattrap: I think I just might be able to with these two Kings and this here wild Ace.

Dinobot: What? It cannot be!

Rattrap: (gloating) Read 'em and weep, Lizard Breath.

Dinobot: I smell a rat.

Rattrap: And he's taking your loot. Now listen up, the game is 5 card draw. Nothing wild. I'm sick of the themes.

Primal: I don't blame you.

Dinobot: I knew it! You're cheating!

Rattrap: Hey! Just 'cause I took your energon...

Dinobot: Vile rodent! You're dealing from the bottom of the deck!

Primal: Rattrap!

Megatron: I declare this a misdeal. Primal, I believe the deal is yours.

Primal: Sure, as soon as Rattrap gives me the Aces stashed in his right arm compartment.

Rattrap: Ah slag!

Dinobot: We shall have a discussion later about whose energon that is, rodent.

Primal: I agree.

Rattrap: Oh man, you all are no fun.

Primal: The game is 5 card draw. No wild.

Silverbolt: Excuse me. May I play?

Megatron: No! This is a private party! Get lost!

Silverbolt: Oh well, maybe next season.

Terrorsaur: Who was that?

Rattrap: Who knows? Who cares? I need two cards.

Dinobot: Give me one.

Megatron: I also require one.

Terrorsaur: Two here.

Waspinator: Is a two, three, four, five, and six of Spades a good hand?

Megatron: No. You need five new cards.

Primal: For once, I agree with Megatron.

Waspinator: Waspinator need five new cards.

Primal: Dealer takes one. Well, Dinobot?

Dinobot: I bid ten.

Waspinator: Oh, this hand as bad as last one. Waspinator folds.

Megatron: I match and raise ten.

Terrorsaur: I raise that another ten.

Rattrap: I'm out. Say, just out of curiosity, Waspinator, what did you have?

Waspinator: Ace, king, queen, jack, and ten of Spades.

Rattrap: (Sarcastically) Yeah! Pretty bad hand there. Good decision.

Primal: I'm out of this one.

Dinobot: Me too.

Megatron: I'll see your bet Terrorsaur, and raise you 25.

Terrorsaur: Why don't we make this interesting, Megatron?

Megatron: What do you have in mind?

Terrorsaur: If I win this hand, I want you to make me leader of the Predacons for a month.

Megatron: Very well, and if I win, you shall address me as "Lord Master of the Universe" for a month. Oooo. That does have a nice ring to it, yes.

Terrorsaur: Fine. What do you have?

Megatron: Two pair. Sevens and Queens.

Terrorsaur: I have three Tens. I win! I did it! I'm leader of the Predacons!

Megatron: And I have another lonely Queen.

Terrorsaur: What? A full house!?

Megatron: A full house... what?

Terrorsaur: (whispers) A full house, Lord Master of the Universe?

Megatron: I can't hear you.

Terrorsaur: (mumbles) A full house, Lord Master of the Universe?

Megatron: A little louder please.

Terrorsaur: A full house, Lord Master of the Universe?

Megatron: Why yes. I do believe that it is a full house. My, it does please me to hear you sing such high praise of your leader.

Terrorsaur: Yes, Lord Master of the Universe.

Rattrap: (giggling) Oh boy, this is too rich.

Megatron: I believe the deal is yours, my former colleague.

Dinobot: Hmm yes. The game is seven card stud. I also desire no wild cards.

Megatron: Ah yes, you do like those fair fights, don't you?

Dinobot: There is no honor otherwise.

Megatron: That was your problem, Dinobot. You always allowed honor to cloud your ability to be devious.

Dinobot: And you never fought with honor.

Megatron: Honor does not win battles.

Dinobot: But it does win wars.

Megatron: We shall see.

Primal: Can we get on with it?

Waspinator: Waspinator bid 5.

Megatron: Match and raise 15.

Terrorsaur: I'll match that.

Rattrap: Yeah, me too.

Primal: Match and raise 25.

Dinobot: I fold.

Waspinator: Waspinator folds too.

Megatron: I'll match your wager, Primal, and raise 50.

Terrorsaur: I'm out.

Rattrap: You won't be accusing this rat of stupidity. I'm out.

Primal: You and me, Megatron. Match and raise 50.

Megatron: You could sense that it would come to this, couldn't you Primal? Shall we make our own unique wager?

Primal: What do you have in mind?

Megatron: I was wondering if you would wager a night with Airrazor for a night with Blackarachnia?

Primal: I don't think so, Megatron.

Megatron: I never figured you for a prude, Primal.

Primal: Nothing like that at all. I'm just not stupid enough to want to interface with a black widow.

Terrorsaur: He saw right through that scheme, Megatron.

(Megatron growls at Terrorsaur.)

Terrorsaur: Ulp! I mean Lord Master of the Universe, Megatron.

Rattrap: Besides, Big Butt here is miffed at the way Airrazor flirts with him, but then gets all googily eyed whenever Tigatron stops by.

Waspinator: That's true! Waspinator see how Bird Bot stares at Tiger Bot too!

Primal: (a little angry) That's not true!

Rattrap: Oh? Then why are you getting testy all of a sudden?

Primal: (Angry) I'm not testy!

Megatron: Oh obviously. All right then, Primal. What is it you really want?

Primal: You want to know what I want? All right. I want one month of nothing but peace. I want to spend a month enjoying the splendors of this world without having to watch for the next Predacon ambush. I want to relax without wondering when you will try your next scheme. That's what I want.

Megatron: A tall order. Very well, I see your bet and raise with my own stipulation that if I win, the Maximals bow out of the Beast Wars. You will provide no interference for my plans to mine the energon and conquer the universe.

Primal: Agreed.

Rattrap: What? Hey, fearless leader, you sure about this?

Primal: I see your bet and raise with this. If I win, the Predacons have to surrender themselves to my Maximals. You will be imprisoned on our base until we find a way to transport you back to Cybertron where you will be tried for your crimes. Well, Megatron? What do you say? Come on. Call me and end the Beast Wars. One way or the other.

(Long pause)

Megatron: Very well, Optimus. You will have your month's vacation. I fold. Now, if you please, I have grown very weary of this game and wish to call it a night.

Primal: As you wish, Megatron. Come on, Rattrap and Dinobot.

(Sounds of walking)

Rattrap: Beast mode. Hey boss! That one some risk you took in there with our lives!

Dinobot: I agree with the vermin for once. What made you take such a risk?

Primal: Relax guys. I knew Megatron was bluffing.

Dinobot: And what pearl of wisdom did you use to divine that possibility?

Primal: It was really quite simple. His right arm grins when he gets a good hand.

Rattrap: What?

Dinobot: By the abyss, I never even noticed!

Rattrap: No joke! If I had noticed that, I could've taken Megajerk for everything he had.

Dinobot: Speaking of taking, we still have to discuss the matter of you cheating during the game.

Rattrap: Relax, Dinobutt. I'll give you your energon chips back.

Dinobot: No. I think I'd rather, beast mode, snarl, take it out of your hide.

Rattrap: Yipe! Feet, don't fail me now.

(Primal laughs)

Rattrap: YOWCH! That's my tail!

-The End-

Author's Note: Page one of this little script of mine was actually read by David Kaye, Gary Chalk, Scott McNeil, and Doug Parker at BotCon '98. If you're interested in how that happened, please read my little behind the scenes of a fanfic below:

The story behind ANTE UP

It started on the evening that I received a packet of information for BotCon '98. I had thoroughly enjoyed BotCon '97 and was eagerly anticipating this packet because I wanted to see what the team of 3H Enterprises was planning for the next convention. The previous year had great panels with the voice actors, musicians, writers, and toy designers and I was pleased to see that BotCon '98 had another great selection of panels, especially since it doubled the number of voice actors from Beast Wars, my favorite Transformers series. I especially got a thrill to see that Scott McNeil was going to be one of the Beast Wars actors coming. He voices four of the characters on the show, including my favorite Transformers of all time: Rattrap. Just judging by the panels alone, I knew the convention was going to be incredible.

Next, I eagerly looked at what the special events were going to be. BotCon '97 had a special preview dinner and a concert featuring Stan Bush and Vince DiCola for those who wished to pay a little bit extra. Both were well worth the price of admission, especially the concert. BotCon '98 though decided to make their special Saturday night event open to all, but it really exited me. The four Beast Wars actors attending BotCon '98 were going to perform a live script reading for everyone. "Holy cow! That is sure to be an awesome event!" I thought as I read that announcement. I was really pleased. I couldn't imagine what else 3H Enterprises could think up to make the event better.

That's when I read their announcement that there was to be a script writing contest, with the winner's story also to be performed during the script reading by the Beast Wars actors on Saturday night.

I was floored. The previous year, my friend and I had seen some of the amazing artwork done by the fans for the art contest. It was fantastic, but I wasn't an artist. Never could I compete in something like that. Writing, on the other hand, is something I had discovered that I do very well. This was something I had more than a good shot at winning. A sudden desire to write a script so good that not only would it win the contest, but the fans would enjoy hearing it read by the voice actors gripped me. I had to win this contest.

So I emailed 3H Enterprises asking for information on how to submit a script for the contest and got around to thinking of ideas for the script. The challenge was considerable. I wouldn't have access to special effects, like transformation and gun sounds. The best thing to do was to write a story that didn't involve either, if possible. I also wanted a scene where Rattrap and Dinobot argued, just to watch Scott McNeil argue with himself as he did both voices. But what type of scenario could one have that produced high stakes drama without actual fighting?

That's when I actually heard David Kaye speak the first line in my head in Megatron's voice: "The game is seven card draw. Kings are wild, because it's good to be the king, yeeessss."

Poker game! Brilliant! It would take place in season 1, since Doug Parker's character is killed in season 2, but have a cameo from Silverbolt, a second season character whom no one recognizes and tells to get lost, to which he laments that maybe he'll have better luck next season. The fans would eat that up!

While ideas were popping in my head about what I wanted to happen in the game, I received bad news from 3H Enterprises. They informed me that due to legal issues raised by Hasbro, the contest had been cancelled.

I was devastated. This was a great shot for me to showcase my writing skills and possibly have something I had written read by voice actors whose work I thoroughly enjoyed. This was a rare project that had inspired me to write something I knew was going to be extraordinary, and then the opportunity vanished before I could even start.

Fortunately for me, I got a call from a friend of mine. Still feeling all the emotions of elation and crushing disappointment, I ranted about how 3H Enterprises announced this great contest with a stellar prize worth shooting for, that I had an amazing idea that could actually win that prize, and the injustice of them just cancelling the contest. It would have been better if they had never announced the contest to begin with. I poured out my soul to my friend, telling him all the ideas I already had for the story and now it was all for naught.

That's when he told me, "Screw 3H Enterprises! I need to read this story!"

I realized then that he was right, the story needed to be written. It took me less than 24 hours to finish it. I immediately shared it with my closest friends, all Beast Wars fans, and awaited their verdict. They all exclaimed that the story was amazing and would have won the writing contest for sure. I was really pleased. The story came out exactly as I hoped.

I also had time to think while my friends were reading the story. While it was true that the writing contest was cancelled, I could still give the story to the voice actors as a gift. I had seen it happen the year before, where a few fans had given art, crafts, and even sculptures to the voice actors as presents. So I decided that I would take 5 copies of my story to BotCon '98: one to give to each of the four voice actors and a master copy for myself that I would have all four autograph.

After much anticipation, the event finally started. My friends and I were having a blast at BotCon '98. We had met and talked with Vince DiCola earlier, a thrill for me since I love his music, and when we spotted David Kaye, he actually greeted us warmly because he recognized my friend and I from the previous year. That was awesome. Later, we saw a group of fans talking with Scott McNeil and joined them. Scott was as funny as I imagined and when he started singing "Sweet Transvestite", one of our group surprised the rest of us and him by joining in.

The really great thing was learning that they smoked. Since some of our group also smoked, we got to spend more time with the voice actors in the smoking area than the other fans. That's when I saw my opportunity to share my story with them.

The first voice actor I approached was David Kaye, the voice actor for Megatron. He seemed genuinely touched that I was giving him a story written specifically for him and the others, and graciously autographed my master copy. I then said, "I think you will really like the first line." He opened the script and then, to my delight, read the first line in his trademark Megatron voice. I was ecstatic. Here it was, everything I hoped for realized: an actual voice actor from Beast Wars was reading a line from my script out loud.

Then, the most unexpected thing happened. David became engrossed in my story. He simply excused himself from the small group of fans around us, found a place to sit, and read the rest of my story, laughing hysterically at times. I knew having David read from my script would make me feel incredible, but never did I realize how utterly fantastic it would feel to watch David actually enjoy my story.

Doug Parker, seeing David walk off with my script, asked me what I had given him. I then told him that I had written a story for the four of them, gave him his copy, and asked him to sign my master copy. Doug also signed my copy, opened it, and started reading. He too became engrossed in the story as well. Like David, Doug also found a quiet spot to read.

It was at this point that David finished reading the story. He then spotted Doug reading my story, yelled out "What part are you at?" enthusiastically, and then joined him as Doug continued to read. The two were laughing at my story, thoroughly enjoying it. It was official. My story was a hit with both Doug and David. I felt giddy, weightless, so overcome with glee that these two men that I admired for their work were acting like schoolboys reading a really great comic book.

This, of course, caught the attention of Gary Chaulk, Sue Blu, and Scott McNeil. I explained what the story was to them, and gave Gary and Scott their copies. When I asked Scott to autograph my master copy, he immediately exclaimed "Only if you sign my copy." Deal! I wrote, "To Scott McNeil, thank you for the great memories" and signed my name.

David and Doug came over and told the others how good the story was. Sue said that this was really cool. I apologized to her for not having the foresight to bring a copy for her, but asked, if as voice director for these four if she might also sign my master copy. Being the cool lady that she is, she did so.

When I and my friends left them, my friends started making jokes about my floating along the ceiling. They weren't wrong. That's how awesome it felt to have them appreciate my work. I played along with them, putting out my arms like I was a bird in flight, running around, and exclaiming, "SQUEEEEEEE!"

One of my friends made a statement that they were going to read my script for sure at the script reading event. I wasn't so sure, but then again, I really hoped that they would. The others also agreed that they would, and I started to believe that they would. So, we made plans to make sure we'd be as close to the front as possible, just in case.

Our planning ahead to come early got us seats on the second row. Even better, we were seated right behind Vince DiCola, who greeted us warmly. Seeing a keyboard next to the stage, I said, "I hope this means you're going to be playing for us tonight." He said that he was going to be performing a new piece of music that he had written specifically for this event. When asked what the title was, he told us that it didn't have a title yet because he didn't know what to call it.

My friend said, "Wow, sounds like a real trial by fire." "Trial by Fire!" exclaimed Vince. "What a great title!" We slapped our buddy's back, convinced that he had named Vince's new song (author note: we later learned that Vince named his song "Dawn on a New Day". Bummer.)

The event started with Doug, David, Gary, Scott, and Sue singing a rousing rendition of the "Star Spangled Banner". We sprang to our feet immediately, followed swiftly by the rest of the people in attendance. Vince started playing halfway through, startling the voice actors, who clearly had decided to start the evening this way impromptu. It was magnificent. The fans loved it.

Then they started singing "O Canada" and left the room in stitches as they comically pretended to not know the words to their own country's anthem. It was hilarious.

Doug then motioned to the others to join him at his microphone. My heart leapt. Could they actually be doing what I thought they were doing? It was confirmed when Gary Chaulk announced, "We have a special treat for you today. A young man has written a script for us and we would like to read the first page of it for you. Would the author please stand up?"

I shot up out of my seat like a cannon ball and the room clapped for me. I don't know how enthusiastic the clapping was. I wasn't famous. No one really knew me, but for that moment, Gary Chaulk had recognized me and let the fans know who I was. That was a special moment.

The reading of my script was amazing, even though David flubbed a line and ad libbed something incredibly lewd that had me screaming "CUT! CUT! I DIDN'T WRITE THAT!" while laughing hysterically at his improvised line. The audience also laughed at all the jokes I had actually written, David made another improvised change from script when he grabbed Scott by the throat instead of pounding the table, and overall, the reading was a huge success. This time, the room genuinely clapped enthusiastically and even Vince DiCola turned, shook my hand, and said, "That was really good!"

Unexpected praise from an artist I think is amazing? My friends joked that I suddenly broke through the ceiling and entered the stratosphere. They weren't wrong. This evening had exceeded my expectations by magnitudes I couldn't even believe. For one night, my spirit felt like it walked amongst the stars.

It's a day I will never, ever forget.