This is what I need. I neeedz it.

(Not a native English speaker. So this is riddled with spelling errors and mistakes. Read at own risk)

Following the events of 5x12, when Bellamy finds and confronts an unwilling Clarke.

"Clarke! Stop!" Bellamy shouts at her back as she walks away. She doesn't turn around at his exclamation. But he can see that she tenses at the sound of his voice. He runs to her, when he's in reach he grabs her arm, forcing her to turn his way.

"Clarke, stop.." He says again, but there is a light plea in his otherwise demanding voice.

"What?!" She hisses, but looks elsewhere, beside him. Trying her hardest not to meet his gaze.

"I just thought that you might be interested, that I'm alive." He tries to light the mood, but fails. There is too much accusation in his voice.

A slight gush of shame washes over Clarke, but is quickly quelled by hurt and anger. She tears her arm free from his grasp. She says nothing and starts walking away. But Bellamy still has more to say.

"I did the right thing. I was going to save you, and all of us! " His voice louder again.

Clarke turns her attention towards him again, this time meeting his eyes. Her gaze cold yet burning right into him. He sees her taking a strengthening breath before she erupts.

"By putting a child in danger!? How could you?! How is that right?!" Her voice stings him, matching his in volume. She's facing him completely now. At least she's not trying to get as far away from him as possible. He takes a calming breath, and lowers his voice, "just hear me out." His hands are stretched in front of him.

Clarke huffs at his request, "I can't even look at you".She says through a clenched jaw and gritted teeth. He sees she's holding back tears and is affected by this. He has always had a weakness for her tears, wanting to comfort her whenever she cried.

"Clarke.." there's a severity in his voice, "I was trying to stop a war that would kill hundreds. Can't you see that?!" A heartbeat passes.

"All I can see is that the person I trusted the most, almost got the person I love the most killed". There is no anger in her voice now, just hurt and betrayal. Tears start to fall from her eyes.

He himself is holding back tears as well. Her words hitting him hard and cutting deep.

"You told me! You told me to use my head!" He takes a few steps towards her. They are in reach of each other, but still at a significant distance.

"Yeah! I told you to use your head! But you're acting like you don't even have a heart anymore Bellamy!" She cries, clenching her fists.

Before he can stop himself, words he never thought to say out loud now falls from him like rain from the sky.

"BECAUSE IT DIED WHEN YOU DID!" He yells back.

They both freeze. Eyes widened as they look at each other. Bellamy suddenly looks down, breaking the gaze, trying to find the right words.

"I thought you died and.. I changed. My head was all that was left". A tear falls from one of his eyes as he struggles to explain.

Clarke doesn't know what to say next. His words touching on something that has been unsaid between them for a long time. She finds herself unable to face it. It's irrelevant now anyway and it hurts too much.

"Go back to your family, Bellamy. You've made it clear that we're not a part of it". She doesn't meet his eyes again; instead she turns and walks away.

Bellamy drags his hand across his face, wiping the fallen tears away. He stands there for a moment. But when he's about to turn and walk the other way a voice stops him.

"You know she loves you right?" Bellamy turns his startled attention on a figure leaning against a tree behind him. Stunned by her words he lets out a shaky "Uh.. It's complicated; well you did warn me that she wouldn't forgive me". He looks down again, wondering if it was worth it after all.

Madi speaks again. "I also know that she called you on the radio every day for 2199 days. Never giving up hope that you'd come back.. It seems wrong that you're the one giving up now."

Bellamy's heart stops, his breath ragged. She'd called him? The realization echoing in his head. "I didn't know, she didn't tell me." His voice low, deep in thought.

"Everyone she's ever loved, you know THAT way, has died. She believes she's cursed… Not that it matters now. You've moved on. She will to.." Madi pauses, as though wanting her words to sink in before continuing, ".. If that's what you really want."

His head snaps up. The words hitting him like a blow to the chest. Knowing the meaning behind it all. He looks in the direction Clarke disappeared to. Having trouble controlling his breathing, something that he has buried deep a long time ago starts to awaken.

He looks at Madi once again. She nods and walks off, leaving Bellamy alone in the company of the swaying trees and the bright moonlight.