The after-life smelled funny. Not like death, or rotten tomatoes, or even ramen if it was a good kind of after-life. No rather it kind of just smelled clean, and kind of like fire, and other chemicals. Ahh, that's what it was it smelled like, the hospital. Except it wasn't the hospital. Probably. His head was still spinning and everything hurt.

Especially the giant hole in his chest. Wait, where was the giant hole in his chest? It was the size of, well the size of most of his chest, he could see growing a finger back maybe, but there was no way that Sakura or granny could replace something like a heart...maybe. He wasn't a medic.

The ceiling was tall and made of white stone with some fancy lights hanging really high up there. Again, this probably wasn't a hospital, but then again it might be some kind of super hospital that could replace important things like a heart, and stomach, and other important things. Like lungs, those were important. But hey he could breathe. So he was either dead, back in time, or in a hospital.

And one of those seemed a lot more likely after getting a giant hole getting blasted into his body. Still, the ceiling was white, wasn't the afterlife supposed to be white? But what was with the lights? And the whole pain thing? Hopefully, it went away soon.

"Right, well I am never taking that contract ever again," A gruff and vaguely familiar voice said from his right. It wasn't familiar in that he heard it before it was just familiar in how annoyed the voice was. "Still, it's nice to finally be home."

He grit his teeth moving his head over just enough to see a man with thick well-groomed mane of red hair and a square face, kind of like if Jiraiya cut his hair and dyed it red, especially with how tall and built the man was, his clothes were black and different from any he had seen before.

But it was the nine red tails that flowed behind the man that truly caught his eyes. With a grunt, he sat up on his elbow and looked up at the man. "Kurama?"

The man turned to him with red eyes and had to blink in surprise. He adjusted the tassels that hung around his neck, covering the buttons of his white shirt. "Oh, so uh you're alive and umm here. Hmm, this uhh complicates things." Kurama - or at least he thought it was Kurama - sighed running a hand through his hair. "Of course work would follow me home."

"Home?" Things were starting to hurt less, well everything but his head, that was still hurting like it was the part of his body that had a massive chunk missing out of it. Sakura would probably say that he wouldn't be missing anything too important. "Are we in Konoha?"

"No, you see well," Kurama reached down, his hand was bigger than he thought, and covered in multiple rings that shined with a light of their own. With no effort, the human that looked, and sounded a lot like the giant angry tsundere fox that used to live in his stomach stood him on his feet. "Long story short, you're not in Konoha, you're not even in the same dimension. You're in my home."

Kurama shoved him towards a giant window that looked out across a lush garden filled with life and fountains that shined like sapphires, and roses like rubies. The greenery came to a harsh stop, giving way to a background filled with red like the very sky was bleeding and the horizon blended away into nothing, broken islands floated in the air like clouds would have, some were barren scrapes, others looked to be thriving cities all on their own.

"Welcome to Hell Naruto," Kurama patted him on the back with a giant toothy smile that showed off a set of sharp looking teeth. Then that smile faded. And Kurama took a more regal pose with his hands clasped behind his back. "Though this really is complicated, you should be dead back in your own world I'll have to-"

The twin doors on the other side of the hall opened with the sound of thunder. A woman with long red hair came running in, her hands grabbing at the hem of her skirt as she sprinted towards them. She was easily the most beautiful woman Naruto had ever seen, slender frame, wide hips, large - okay, so maybe Jiraiya had rubbed off on him more than he'd care to admit, still, the woman was very hot.

Wait, did she have fox tails? She had fox tails.

"Daddy!" The girl screamed, holding her arms out as she pounced on Kurama. Well, that explained the tails and the hair. Wait the Kyuubi had a daughter? The Kyuubi had a hot daughter? "You're home! It feels like it's been forever!"

"Kumiko! Look at you! You've grown so much! How old are you now? Twenty? Twenty-one?" Kurama laughed spinning around his daughter in the air.

Kumiko laughed, hugging her father around the neck. "No silly, I'm only nineteen still."

He was eighteen, that meant that they were close enough too - No, no matter how hot she looked he was not going to hit on Kurama's kid! More importantly. "Umm, is there-"

She looked at him, her red eyes turning into daggers. "Who's this daddy? Why don't I sense any demonic energy coming from him?"

"A headache," Kurama laughed, pulling his daughter away from him. "Let's see, I'm sorry Naruto but I'm really not quite sure what to do with you."

"Can you send me back? There's still a-"

"I'm sorry, but that would be impossible." Kurama sighed, pointing towards a swirling green on the far end of the room. "You need demonic energy to pass through that, and furthermore time works differently between our two worlds it's not even consistent, anywhere between a few weeks to a decade could have passed by now." Kurama placed a hand on his shoulder, "and to be honest with Kaguya gone, my contract is up and I can no longer return to that realm."

"But what about Sakura? Kakashi? Sasuke? What about everybody else?" Could years have gone by just like that? His head was pounding and his stomach felt like there was a pit growing in it that wanted to swallow him whole. This had to be a dream, a nightmare. Why wasn't he dead?

"They're probably fine, worlds have a habit of making heroes when they need them." Kurama gestured towards a soft looking couch that sat below an expensive looking painting of Kurama that stretched up to the ceiling. Well, at least Kurama's ego was still the same. But that could hardly be called a positive.

"But how will I know if they're okay?" Naruto asked even as Kurama sat him down. It really was a soft couch. "Can't I just have some of your energy and go through that portal?"

"Just have a bit of patience Naruto," A smooth green orb appeared on the low table with a crack at the snap of Kurama's fingers. One of the rings on his pointer finger glowed even brighter, and the orb began to shift in color, before at long last he saw -}

"Konoha!" All the faces were still there! The leaf was still there! That was great! Wait, there were two extra faces on the mountainside, Kakashi's and a woman's. A woman with a diamond in the middle of her forehead. It was a big forehead too. "Wait! Sakura's the Hokage? How'd that happen? Why? How long has it been? Why isn't the sun like flying by?"

"I don't know, and I have to go, a human is rare enough here as it is, a human from your world is even more unheard of. Kumiko, how many or the Lords are still around?" Kurama stood dusting his hands off as he did, once again making small corrections to his suit.

Kumiko bounced up, placing a finger on her delicate chin. "Hmm, I think that there's at least ten at the moment. Why? Are you calling a meeting?"

"Yes, I'll have to discuss," Kurama gestured towards him. "this with them. I really shouldn't be surprised by him anymore but here we are." Kurama started for the door, "Can you do daddy a favor and make sure Naruto doesn't do anything stupid until I get back. Please?"

Kumiko bounced down onto the couch next to him, "Fine, I'll make sure the human doesn't get eaten by anything."

"I'm not worried about that," Kurama muttered shaking his head. "I'll be back as soon as I can, hopefully, we can find out something to do with all this."

Naruto reached out for the orb, touching the smooth surface, Sakura was the Hokage? How did that happen? What about Sasuke and - The orb shifted scenes projecting into the Hokage's office where Sakura sat at a nearly empty desk plugging away at some kind of a T.V. thingy. She looked sad and lonely, but proud too.

The window opened and he saw her smile for the first time, it was Ino, bringing in-wait did Ino marry Sai? That was a mini-Sai! What were they saying? "Why can't I hear anything?"

"It's an Ocular orb, it doesn't do audio, it just kind of records a bit of footage at a time, that's why it's not jumping all over the place." Kumiko laughed pulling up her legs to the couch, her feet were small, pale and bare. Just like all of her really. She hid her smile behind a large red tail, and blinked at him, her red eyes filled with mirth. "So how'd you know my father? He normally doesn't like you guys."

"Kurama was sealed inside of me since I was born." The orb shifted again. A large crowd dressed in black was gathered. Pictures of Tsunade were scattered about and there was a casket. Granny. She was. He took his eyes off the orb. His world was safe, and it was leaving him behind.

"Oh, that sounds like fun! Was he being a big giant scary demon fox to you?" Kumiko giggled, kicking her legs and hugging her tails like it was a blanket. It stopped him from looking at her chest which was probably a good thing considering how tight her shirt was. Great, now he was depressed and horny. That had to be one of the worst possible emotional combinations there was.

Naruto nodded offering the girl a smile. "Yea, he hated me at first and threatened to eat me a few times. But eventually, we became friends. At least I think we're friends."

"You are, Daddy is very lazy, if it's easier to just kill something than deal with it then its dead, the fact that he's actually trying to figure out what to do with you is a sign that he kinda likes you." She extended a hand out from between her tails that now served as a barrier obscuring all but her eye. "My name's Kumiko by the way."

He took her hand. It was softer than it looked. But she had a firm grip. "I'm Naruto."

"You know, when you take a ladies hand you're supposed to kiss it right?" Her tails writhed like they had a mind of their own revealing just a flash of her smile.

"On the hand?" His voice cracked as he stared at her hand. At least he hoped that's what he meant. There was no way that he could gather the courage to kiss every girl he met in this place. Especially if they looked anything like Kumiko or worse were all Kurama's daughters.

She giggled a high pitched noise that was actually rather cute and charming. "Yes, on the hand. Right on the knuckles. It's only proper."

With a shrug, Naruto placed his lips on the girl's hand. She giggled again, and her tails unwrapped themselves like she was taking off the covers. Pale angular face, cute nose, sharp fangs, pointed ears, and large red eyes all gave her a beauty that was something more than human. "Now say, it is a pleasure to meet you my dear and look me in the eyes."

"Do I have to?" Why couldn't he just shake their hands? Or like high five people.

"Yes, its the only way not to offend someone that could rip your throat out, this goes for me and all of the other lady's you meet, except my mom, just bow to her." She said between fits of giggles.

Wow, people were really uptight here. Still, probably a good idea not to make Kurama mad. "It's a pleasure to meet you, my lady."

"Good," She bit her lip wiggling a bit. "Now make sure that you do that to every lady you meet and we'll be fine. Oh, but don't do it to guys, you can just shake their hands like normal. Oh and make sure you call them by their first name only."

That was fine he didn't want to kiss any guys, even on the hands, he already did that once. Never. Never again. He looked at the globe and spotted another face on the mountain, Konoha was also bigger. A lot bigger, with buildings he didn't even recognize, they were all so tall too and mostly windows. It was barely recognizable from the Konoha he knew. Even if he went back now there was no way that things would be the same.

"Kumiko!" The doors slammed open once again, and two more redheads walked in, well one walked, the other tripped, but caught her self into a summersault where she landed in a victory pose. The one that tripped had short red hair framed her face down to her chin, and a loop on either side of her head right behind her ears, she was fit, kind of stupid looking and had violet eyes, kind of like his mothers. Alone fang tended to stick out of her mouth whenever she talked.

The other one was more regal and walked with grace and purpose, head held high, her red hair was the longest of the three, easily reaching the back of her legs in long straight waves that fanned outward around her narrow waist that only emphasized the fact that her chest was on another level. She had blue eyes that looked like the sky he once knew. "Honestly Satania, I told you not to run or you'd trip."

"I didn't trip! I was just making my grand entrance!" Satania shouted spinning on her heels, arms out to her side, fists level with her hips. She was wearing blue shorts that showed off her long legs and she had weird sandals on that covered her toes, she had on a white and red striped tank top that was tight enough that he could make out her bra strap from here.

"Is that what you call it?" The other redhead laughed, taking a step forward laughing softly, her blue eyes locked onto him, like her friend she had on a tank top that hugged her killer rack like a glove. So much bounce. She also had on white shorts and the same weird sandals as Satania did but a different color. With a soft smile, she brushed her hair from her face, crossing her arms over her chest. "So, Kumiko, is your new friend why you ran off?"

Kumiko stood, bouncing over to the other girls. "Not really, my Dad showed up and then left to call a meeting. Mostly because of him," She laughed waving him to come over. A chance to talk to three redheads hot enough to make his Mom look plain? There was no way he was going to pass on that. "This is Naruto, apparently he was who my father was sealed in back in his home dimension."

"I'll never understand why your father insists on taking contracts beyond the dimensional rift." The still nameless redhead smiled her eyes still locked onto him. She held out a hand to him practiced and graceful. "Greetings I am Rias Gremory, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Satania stuck her hand out as well, stiff and almost like she was doing a Karate chop. "Nice to meet ya whiskers! My name is Satanichia Kurumizawa McDowell"

"Yea, you can just call her Satania, her real name is a mouthful and she's the only one that bothers to say the whole thing." Kumiko laughed, elbowing Satania in the stomach. She kept raising her eyebrows at him.

Oh! Right the hand thing!

He leaned forward grabbing Satania's hand and placing a single kiss on her knuckle. He heard her gasp. Did he do something wrong? Was he supposed to go with Rias first? Satania was just closer! "Satania,"

Rias was next, he placed a kiss on her knuckle as well.

"Oh my," She laughed.

"Rias," She gave a soft eep, tensing up and standing more rigid than she had before.

He looked at both of them, a composed blush on Rias face that brought out her eyes and a hand over her mouth trying to hide her smile. Satania was completely red from the tip of her heads to her toes. Did he mess up? "It's a pleasure to meet you, my dears."

"A pervert!" Stania screamed and bolted behind Kumiko. "What's the deal Kumiko! Why'd your dad bring home a pervert!"

"Your new friend certainly is rather friendly." Rias dropped her hand and gave a small bow.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Kumiko burst into laughter. "No, you did great! That was everything I hoped it would be!"

Satania took a step back glaring at the fox girl. "Kumiko! You jerk! Why'd you prank us like that! It's rude!"

"Oh come on Satania, it's not my fault you and Rias are both so sensitive when it comes to boys." Kumiko gave a cat-like pose holding her hands up like they were paws. "Besides, I am a Kitsune, after all, we are known for our trickery."

"Yes but not on us!" Satania pouted, her face still red.

"You shouldn't have used Naruto like that either, did you even think to consider how he felt?" Rias asked her blush already fading, though she kept looking his way.

"Oh please, he should totally be used to it." Kumiko slapped him on the back. "Besides, he thought it was funny, didn't you Naruto?"

Not in the slightest. Still, it was a good prank. "Hey, I'm a victim too, just you wait Kumiko, I'm going to get you back for that one."

"Yea!" Satania cheered rushing over to his side and giving him a high five. "This means war!"

"I'll be staying out of this one." Rias smiled folding her hands in front of her. "Though, I do look forward to seeing the results.

The door slammed open once echoing throughout the chamber like a building was falling down. It was Kurama, a sour look on his face as he walked forward with purpose. When he saw his daughter and her friends he smiled if only for a moment. "Girls, I'm sure you have many questions to ask Naruto but I'm afraid I need to talk to him for a bit. You'll have plenty of time to bug him later."

"What's going-" Naruto tried to ask but Kurama grabbed his arm and pulled him away like a jealous tsundere. Was he mad that he was being so friendly with his daughter? Was Kurama the overbearing parent type? Oh god was he going to get eaten? "Look if this is about your daughter I'm sorry I-"

Kurama silenced him with a glare as they exited the room, the doors closing with but a gust of wind. The hallways were long, with windows looking out over the red abyss and garden for miles. The hallways split every so often and they took a right, then a left, and he was lost. They eventually arrived at a door that looked exactly like the rest. "First off, I'd like to apologize for dragging you here with me, not only is it unprofessional but it's my failure as your friend."

"It's okay, I mean it beats being dead right?" Naruto asked shrugging. Being alive was generally better than being dead at least he thought so. Kurama pushed him through the door to reveal a bedroom that was larger than his entire apartment had been, complete with the largest T.V. he'd ever seen, a fireplace even a miniature fridge. Okay, so apparently Kurama was rich.

Kurama sighed sitting down on one of the seats in front of the fireplace, motioning for him to do the same. With a breath that sounded more like a growl he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small blue flame that seemed to dance in a wind that wasn't there. "Normally when people die, their soul gets sent into their world's afterlife. You would have been sent to yours, where you'd probably meet your parents and a bunch of other stuff. But, well this soul represents your soul."

"Right now it's strong and healthy," Kurama held the flame up. "However, because you're not in your own world and you are technically dead your soul is going to slowly diminish until you poof away." The flame grew smaller and smaller until it vanished. "With no afterlife, so no, this is one of the rare cases where being alive isn't better than being dead."

"So I'm just going to vanish?" That lump in his stomach was back. "How long will that take. Can't I just go back?"

"Two, three years tops? Hard to say, as for going back, that'd probably make things worse. But don't worry there's a way for you to live if you were to become part of this world your soul would be attuned here, as an additional perk you'll basically be immortal." Kurama laughed, a flame appearing on his finger that he tossed into the fireplace.

"So how do we do that?" Immortality sounded better than dying.

Another sigh that almost sounded like a growl. "There's only one way for a mortal to become a devil in this land, and honestly I think it might be to difficult for someone like you. You need to marry a devil."

"Marry? How does that make me a devil?" That seemed kind of arbitrary.

"It's a ritual, we share everything with our partner forever binding our fates and our souls. It's the ultimate expression of love and devotion and not something to be taken lightly, if I wasn't already bound to my wife, and not into men I'd do this myself, but sadly only one bound for eternity." Kurama shrugged, a soft smile on his face.

Okay, so he had to get married or he'd poof. That wasn't so bad. Maybe it was one of the redheads he dealt with earlier? "So, umm who am I marrying?"

Kurama gave a sharp bitter laugh. "Oh no Naruto, I think you misunderstood me. We don't do forced marriages here."

"Ohh, so what does that mean?"

"It means you, dunce, that you have two years to convince a devil to marry your or you die." Kurama stood slapping the arms of the chair. "Oh, and before you ask my daughter is very off limits. So good luck with all that, I'll be rooting for you. This room is yours, by the way, make yourself at home, I'll see about having a maid bring you some new clothes."

Naruto stared at the fire as Kurama left without another word. He spent years trying in his own world trying to get a normal human girlfriend! He didn't even get Sakura to go out with him even once! Now he had to get a devil to marry him in two years?

He was so fucked. So very very fucked.

AN: Beta'd by xxTerror33xx

Hello! And welcome to a fic I've been wanting to do for a long time. Finally got drunk enough to write it! Anyways, in many ways this is a harem fic, but at the same time Naruto will only end up with one girl. Who will it be? Well you'll just have to keep reading to find out.

As to why I'm posting this in the Naruto Highschool Dxd Crossover area and not just generic crossovers. Well that's easy, Naruto dxd is popular and I want more exposure. Please forgive this authors greed.

Anyways! Until next time. (As for power levels and that kind of thing, this isn't a fighting fic so uhh, just handwave that stuff)