Character(s): Ratchet, Ultra Magnus,Optimus Prime, Sentinel Prime, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Prowl, Jazz

Universe: Transformers: Animated

Warnings: Humor, traumatized Sentinel meets Earth fauna.

Summary: Sentinel Prime should learn to listen when Earth experts tell him NOT to do something...

Harmlessly Slimy

Ultra Magnus' glare would have made lesser bots flail around in panic – and indeed, Bumblebee has jumped to hide behind Bulkhead, who himself had taken a few steps back, and it was hard to begrudge them their reaction. Ratchet hadn't seen that peculiar glare since somewhere along the last stellar cycles of the Great War - and he hadn't missed it the slightest. He glanced at Prowl, who had his back to the Magnus, crouched on the floor next to Jazz as the pair was slowly and methodically picking the lock they were working on apart. Must be a Ninjabot thing, he decided.

Back to Ultra Magnus. Ratchet refused to feel intimidated, but he was old and he liked to think he had seen and lived through enough things to give him a solid backstrut when it came to standing your ground. But Optimus, though… Optimus was a surprise. He hadn't thought the officer had it in him to stand at attention when Ultra Magnus' displeasure seemed to be concentrated on him. Really, it was anybot wonders how Optimus could keep his shoulders squared and not imitate the younger bots.

"Optimus Prime. May I ask what exactly happened to my Second and why he's currently locked in the decontamination unit, refusing to answer any of our calls and screaming about 'get them off' and 'more solvent'?"

It wasn't supposed to be funny, Ratchet mused. You didn't need to hear Magnus' voice to know he was angry and smiling or sniggering wasn't going to help the situation any. Still, Ratchet just had to glance above Jazz and Prowl's heads and through the transparent walls of the showers and watch Sentinel Prime sitting on the floor, hugging himself and rocking back and forth while mumbling about cleanliness to feel a strong, vicious feeling of self-satisfaction warm his old Spark.

An Autobot and his superior Sentinel Prime might be, but the young punk hadn't done anything to ender himself to the old medic since his arrival on Earth.

What killed the fun, though, was the way Optimus actually flinched at the question (so the glares he could handle, but the words were another thing; something to ponder about) as if he had been slapped – as if he was the one at fault. Which he definitely wasn't, and Ratchet wasn't going to hold his glossa for the sake of the (traumatized) upstart that seemed to take pleasure in grinding Optimus down whenever he could.

"Oh, for the Allspark's sake," he groused, arms crossed over his chest and glaring back at the Magnus – he had done it enough during the war not to feel the slightest bit intimidated anymore (or not that much anyway). "Sentinel Prime just found first hand why we told him NOT to slip in recharge anywhere nears the park after it rained!"

Ultra Magnus shifted, though his glare didn't lessen; it just shifted target, passing from Optimus to the old medic. Jazz perked up, though. "Oh? And why is that, Doc Bot?"

"The damn slugs come out crawling in mass once it's wet," the medic replied flatly, not breaking optics contact with the Magnus. "And they get everywhere, including on deeply recharging 'bots chassis." He should known; he had 'enjoyed' the experience once, and it was one time too many. Prowl might have found it fascinating, but he hadn't been the one cleaning slime out of his gears.

"Slugs?" the taller mech asked with a frown.

Optimus coughed embarrassingly. "Ah, slugs are a local life form. Non-sentient creatures the humans call 'gastropods'; they ate plants and foliage and they're generally considered a nuisance by humans who enjoy the hobby of 'gardening'," he explained, bringing Ultra Magnus' attention back to himself. The Prime tried not to fidget; the glare had lessened, but their leader still had a serious and untrusting expression on his face that made him nervous. "They're harmless to us Cybertronian, they really are," he added quickly, "but the thing is, uh, they, uh… they are…"

"Slimy," Bumblebee provided, peeking out from behind Bulkhead's larger body before disappeared again.

"Yeah. That," Optimus grimaced. "Slimy and producing a mucus to make themselves slippery to advance and be harder to catch for predators. It's… touching them is a little..."

"It's gooey and viscous and kinda awful, especially if you accidentally crush them while trying to remove them - I think that's what happened with Sentinel Prime, Sir," Bulkhead finished. "But the mucus gets removed easily and you won't see a trace after, promise!"

Ultra Magnus stared at them all then slowly his optics shifted to Sentinel's rocking form, then to Optimus, then to the rest of the team. He stayed silent a long moment before ultimately sighing and facepalming. "Are you telling me Sentinel is having a freak out over… getting dirty?"

"I wouldn't put it in that many words, Sir, but basically… yes, he is," Optimus confirmed, trying very hard not to smile because, well, it WAS amusing when you really thought about it.

"Sentinel," Ultra Magnus groaned. He turned toward Jazz and Prowl. "Make sure he gets out of here soon. I don't want him to use all of the Steelhaven's solvent reserve on something so trivial."

"Yes Sir," the two mechs saluted.

Ratchet smirked. Score one for them and a good laugh on top of it.

Of course, once Sentinel calmed the frag down, he certainly wouldn't be amused at all himself. But eh, that was for later. And there would always be time to worry about it when the time came.

End