Chapter 3

AN: I intentionally spelled a word wrong in here. Don't worry, it is totally, intentionally, obvious. I made Gibbs OOC here. But, I think, given what is happening, Gibbs would go to this extreme, had he not wanted him to go. UNLIKE the cannon lack of response from anybody. It was just like they didn't give a damn. And I HATED it. I think the characters, being in character, would have, at least thrown Tony a going-away party. Not the shitty insult we were had to witness. I was and still am so, so very disappointed in the way MW's character was just wasted and then thrown away. Okay, jumping down off the soapbox now. Enjoy the fic, JL.

Gibbs was pacing. He was conflicted. He understood Tony's desire for answers. But, there was one thing he didn't understand. What he could not understand and that was what he would have done if he had only lost Shannon and Kelly had survived.

Gibbs could not help but see the parallels. It made him wonder what he would have done had he suddenly become a single father on that day. For one thing, the military career he had would have been over. No more tours abroad. He would have, most likely, found a desk job. One with regular hours and little to know risk of job-related injury.

He wondered, also, would he had carried on a vendetta. Would Kelly has suffered from his need to avenge Shannon? Or would he have set all that aside to raise his daughter?

Whatever it was he would have done, Gibbs needed to advise Tony to do what was best for his daughter. And maybe taking a two-year old all around Paris was not something DiNozzo should be doing.

"It's crazy, Boss." Tony said shaking his head as he entered the bullpen. "It seems everybody in the building is suddenly an expert. and they are telling me how to raise my child."

Gibbs didn't say anything.

Tony looked at him. "Oh, on! Not you, too!"

Gibbs shook his head. "I'm going to tell you what no to do, Anthony."

Tony stopped and listened. Gibbs rarely called him Anthony. But, every time he did it got DiNozzo's attention.

"I couldn't…I couldn't help but think about Shannon and Kelly. And I…I wondered what I would have done if Kelly had lived." Gibbs paused. "I don't honestly know the answer to the question, DiNozzo. Except…except to say I would like to think I would do all in my power to raise my daughter to be as happy and as healthy and independent as possible."

Tony opened his mouth to speak.

"Vendettas are all-consuming, soul-sucking, personality-changing bustards, Tony." Gibbs stated. "I wallowed in mine for decades." He sighed. "Don't do that to yourself. Don't do it to Tali. Revel in your time with your daughter. You never know how long it will last. Revenge is hollow, it leaves you empty and unsatisfied." The Team Leader paused. "Trust me on that one. Be glad for the gift you have been given, regardless of how you got it."

"Kort did it. And he's…." Tony replied.

"I know. But, these things are never that simple."

Tony needed and he understood. He had cautioned many of the family members that NCIS had helped over the years from doing the same type thing.

"I'm not looking for revenge, Gibbs. I honestly have not given it any thought. Kort was it for me. I think he worked alone on this. He became obsessed, went against orders, and worked alone. I just want answers as to why Ziva didn't tell me. Why she left Paris, and…I think that's where it happened. I just…."

"Do you have help while you're in Paris?"

"Help?"

"Baby-sitter, nanny, whatever it is…aupaire, on par, whatever they're called in France." Gibbs stated. "You know what I mean."

Tony chuckled and nodded, pronouncing the word correctly.

"Yeah, that. Do you have one of those?" Gibbs asked.

"I will find one." Tony said. "I speak fluid French. It won't be a problem."

"You know, if you need our help. NCIS, me, your team members. We are all…very glad, very willing to help you." Gibbs stated.

Tony shook his head. "Don't do this to me?"

"I want to get to know my adopted granddaughter."

"Boss?"

"We're all thrilled you have a daughter. We just want to see her grow up."

"You're all ganging up on me. It's not fair." Tony replied.

"We've your family, Tony. We don't have to play fair." Gibbs stated. "We are here. I can help you. Jimmy has Tori. You have many willing aunts and uncles to help you." Gibbs paused. "Like I said, Tony, this journey for answers can't consume your life like it did mine. I was all alone in my quest. You have to stop this. And the best time and place to stop it is not to start it. Don't go about it this way. You don't have to do this alone."

"I promise you, Gibbs. I am not on a covert revenge mission. I couldn't do that to Tali. She's…she's already lost one parent. She is not going to lose me. She's not going to be an orphan."

Gibbs grinned at him.

"What?"

"They grab you by the heart, and they don't let go." Gibbs said. "It is the best and the worst feeling in the world. And I had nine months to get used to the idea. I can't even imagine what this is like for you. I just know the first time I saw my girl, that was it. That is what pure love is, Tony, that's it. Romantic love is amazing. But, the love of a parent for their child." He paused. "Then you realize that this tiny little person is completely, utterly dependent on you…for everything. And you wonder how in the world you can do it."

Tony nodded. He had felt that first little tug at his heart when he found out that Tali was truly his. And, it just seemed the longer he was with her, the more he loved her. He loved this little girl more than he ever thought he could possibly love another human being. He had to do what was best for her. And getting away for a while, clearing his head, and taking control of his life was what he needed to do.

Tony looked at Gibbs. "As much as I appreciate what you're saying, what everybody has been saying. I need to do this. And, I am doing it with no thoughts of revenge. I just need to know, for myself what happened. I want to be able to tell Tali the truth. Regardless of what it is. When she is old enough to hear it."

Gibbs nodded. He did another very uncharacteristic thing. He gave Tony a huge hug. "We'll be here when you get back."

THE END

END NOTES: As you can see, by the end I sort of changed my mind a little. When I originally wrote his I thought I was writing with the intention of him staying. I just wished the series had him leave over the hiatus and come back. A any rate, I hope that you guys like this ending. I was just unable to make Tony do what I wanted him to this time. He's a pretty strong willed guy when he wants to be. But, at least in my AU he is coming back. Hope you enjoyed! JL