"Kakashi, have you heard?"

Kakashi grunted, pulling the blanket over his head and pointedly ignoring the persistent annoyance that was disturbing his morning peace. He missed the old Obito—the one who woke up late and not this chattering morning bird. Sure, he was grateful that the other half of his sharingan was alive and now was rightfully his—bonded by the oath to be loyal to each other until their last dying breath—but it was still annoying to be awakened at the crack of dawn for absolutely no emergency what so ever. Kakashi fisted the blanket tighter and steeled his determination to not give up his last barrier against the cursed morning even if Obito tried to bribe him with a fun morning workout.

Sadly for him, in between his morning grogginess and headaches of dealing with morning people—Kakashi has forgotten that he shared this blanket with Obito.

Obito wriggled around inside the blanket until he was draped over Kakashi's naked torso, peering over the silver-haired's shoulder with a huge grin that was so unfitting to be worn so early in the morning.

"Too early, Obito," he groaned, throwing the blanket away. "Badger me when the time is more reasonable."

"Oooh," Obito crooned, wrapping his arms around Kakashi's waist and hooked his chin over the grumpy jounin's shoulder. "But Kashiiiii," he whined, nipping on Kakashi's ear. "Gossips knows no time."

"You're not supposed to piss off your spouse during the honeymoon, idiot," Kakashi grumbled, but turned around so that he was tucked under Obito's chin anyway, nose nuzzled to the pale collarbone of his fully awake spouse. "Bastard."

"Touchy, touchy," Obito sang, wrapping his arms tight around his partner's slim waist. "Rumours spread from Konoha," he started once the annoyed lines on Kakashi's face has softened to sleepy adorable frown. "They say to never make the Yondaime Hokage mad or else there would be grim consequences."

Kakashi snorted. "Minato-sensei wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Did you not remember what he did to Danzou?"

Kakashi shuddered. "That was one time?"

"He still grinned and giggled every time he looked at those frames."

Kakashi was silent for a long time before he let out a long line of swears.

"I knew Gaara's sadism is a learned trait."

Obito watched the way Kakashi's nose crinkled, feeling his imaginary adorable metre being jacked up beyond the limit at the sight. A maskless Kakashi was a beauty to behold, but a naked, maskless Kakashi with crinkled nose and distasteful pout was the death of Uchiha Obito. Obito promptly leaned down to nip on the cute little nose once said imaginary adorable metre in his head exploded. Kakashi squirmed half-heartedly against him, though it wasn't long till the Copy Ninja let out a sigh, allowing Obito to trail his lips lower to catch his pretty annoyed spouse into a sweet morning kiss.

"I'm glad Minato-sensei saved me," Obito murmured, burrowing his face into Kakashi's hair. "I never thought I could be this happy."

"Too bad that we didn't even think to tell him that we're married," Kakashi mused, tracing random patterns over Obito's collarbone. "He would've freaked and thrown a party or something if he knew."

Obito stiffened (and not in the fun way).

"Oh, fuck."

Kakashi tilted his face up. "What?"

"We didn't tell sensei that we're married."

"So what? Itachi marries us in the middle of the invasion," Kakashi huffed, back curved off the bed as he stretched his arms above his head. "Considering the chaos that follows the invasion, and Izuna's impromptu offer to sponsor our honeymoon, it is logical that we don't have time to tell him about our marriage before we left."

Obito stared at his spouse like he thought Kakashi has lost his mind.

"Kakashi, we're practically his kids," Obito whispered, horror filled his voice. "You're basically Naruto and Gaara's elder brother," he hissed, hands gripping the pale shoulders tightly. "And we didn't tell him that we ask Itachi to marry us in the middle of the invasion."

"Well, you thought we're going to die back then."

"YOUR CHEST IS IMPALED, DUMBASS."

"Such a romantic wedding, isn't it?" Kakashi drawled lazily, honestly not seeing the reason Obito needed to freak out over this. They forgot to tell their sensei of their impromptu mid-invasion wedding. What even was the big deal? They could tell sensei when they got back—no big deal.

"Kakashi," Obito hissed. "Sensei will be mad."

Kakashi was finally awake enough to register the implication of them not telling Minato of their marriage before they left on their extended vacation.

"Oh, fuck."

"Itachi-kun?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"I didn't know that you're getting married."

"Oh, that is not mine."

"Eh?"

"That is on behalf of my clan member, whom I married off in the middle of the invasion two weeks ago."

There was a beat of silence as the Hokage read through the marriage application form.

"Hokage-sama?"

Itachi promptly backed away when Minato looked up—a saccharine bright smile was on the Hokage's face.

"Those little brats~" Minato sang.

Itachi prayed that the number of the Uchiha would not be reduced when Minato was through with his two newly-wedded clan members.

Tobirama was cackling.

No, Hashirama could not see him because the Nidaime has locked himself up in his home laboratory as soon as they lugged their tipsy asses home from the bar (said bar now was looking for a way to ban all of the Hokage from stepping into their property ever again) but the Senju compound was empty enough for the Shodai to hear his little brother cackling ominously.

It has been going for three full days.

It was not helping when he sought Tsunade for comfort, only to see the decorative frame of weird holey preserved thing hanging on her wall.

That was Danzou. Danzou's limb is on my wall—oh god oh god oh god.

"Ojii-chan?"

Hashirama snapped to attention so fast he toppled off his own ass.

"Anija, what the hell?"

Hashirama blinked towards the door, eyes brimming with hope upon meeting the annoyed gaze of his adorable fluffball of a baby brother—his hopefully normal baby brother as Tobirama strode into the room straight towards Tsunade. The Nidaime spread out his notes on the table in front of Tsunade.

"Tsuna, I need your medical expertise," Tobirama said solemnly.

Hashirama peered over Tobirama's shoulder, honestly already lost it at the scientific names of internal organs and the shifting seals that his brother has scrawled on one of the papers. Tsunade seemed to have more understanding than her grandfather, brows pinched near the marking on her forehead as she rearranged the papers into a neat stack.

The legendary sannin inhaled a deep breath.

"Granduncle, if you and your partner wished to repopulate the Uchiha clan," Tsunade exhaled a long breath. "Izuna's womanizing would be enough," she said, voice stoic and firm.

Hashirama weighed the pros and cons of asking what the hell was on Tobirama's notes.

"Dear grandniece, this is not initially for us," Tobirama said, lips curled to a somewhat sadistic smile. "The Yondaime contacted me yesterday morning, asking me if it would be possible for his sons to give him grandchildren, despite being in a relationship with each other."

Tsunade frowned. "Isn't it too early to think about that? Gaara and Naruto are only twelve."

"Not the two brats," Tobirama cut her off. "They are brothers and only have training in their heads. Gaara definitely does not view Naruto in that light and vice versa," he explained, flashing his teeth in a dangerous grin. "The Yondaime was talking about his other sons—the more adult ones."

Tsunade took a moment to digest the information. "Wait, Kakashi is taken?"

"Uchiha Itachi used his authority as a Clan Head to marry Hatake Kakashi to his clan member, Uchiha Obito during the invasion," Tobirama explained. "It is stated in the form that Uchiha Izuna was the witness of their holy matrimony."

"So that was the epic romance Izuna was talking about," Tsunade huffed, looking down onto the notes again. "Then, what about you, granduncle?"

"What about me?"

"Silver hair is not common," the Sannin huffed, sipping on her tea. "And I remembered that you have never talked about the months you have vanished from the grid. Your last sighting before you vanished was close to the Hatake's lands," she hummed, lips curled to a knowing look. "What do you think would appear if I run a test on Kakashi's blood?"

Tobirama's facial expression shifted into shock for a split second before it fell into his flat stoic mask again.

"Hmm, I wonder," The Nidaime huffed, not rising to the bait after all. "But if this jutsu is a success, perhaps we could expect a baby with rinnegan from Obito and Kakashi."

Hashirama wanted to say something, wanted to ask if this conversation meant that the Hatake kid was sort of his grandnephew or something but then he noticed the dark aura emitting from Tobirama and decided to not risk his second life for a question that he could answer with a little bit of snooping around.

Plus, there was a better news in horizon. Great grand-babies!

"Can we expect the same from you and dear Granduncle Madara?" Tsunade was not giving up, lips curled into a more vicious smirk. "A rinnegan baby for our households?"

Hashirama wondered where did his innocently playful gene had gone and why this vicious mind-game genetic was the one his family chose to activate.

"Perhaps you will," Tobirama hummed, standing up and dusting his pants. "If the experiment is successful and Yondaime Hokage is officially a grandfather, that is."

Tsunade snorted. "Your ethics are questionable, granduncle."

"In my times, it was called being opportunistic," Tobirama smiled. "Yondaime offered me a chance to experiment, why would I not take it?"

Tsunade snorted again.

"Poor Kakashi."

"Naruto," Gaara called, looking up at the stone face of his father. "Do we want to know?"

Naruto turned his head to give Gaara a horrified look. "I don't know," the blonde boy squeaked. "Do you want to know?"

Gaara gulped, staring at the carved large fiery words right under the Yondaime Hokage's stone face.

'Best Hokage Ever – signed, Uchiha Madara and Nidaime-sama'

The jinchuuriki brothers were not sure if they wanted to know what their father has done to earn this flambouyant vandalism from the two most influential men in shinobi history.

In the end, they chose silence—even when the burning fire of the carved words did not perish when they returned to Konoha after completing their two years training journey with their respective sensei. Rumours has spread across the Shinobi World during those time. Whispered words that whoever who piss the Yondaime Hokage off would end as a decorative piece in his office.

Also, there was news that the infamous Copy Ninja of Konoha was infected by a parasite and has to be taken off duty. As much as that was a good news for the enemy of Konoha, that rumour came with an undeniable news that Uchiha Obito was now violently offensive to anything that he deemed as a threat to Konoha.

Naruto refused to believe that Kakashi was bedridden. He only started believing the news when he went to what was supposedly his first training with his team since he left for his training journey with Jiraiya—only to be greeted by the stand-in teacher, Captain Yamato.

Gaara wisely not mentioned anything about the times he heard his sensei cackling ominously during their training journey. He knew that his sensei was involved with Kakashi's 'parasite' infection, but two years on the road with Tobirama has honed his self-preservation senses well enough to cause him not to mention anything about the Nidaime's weird experiments.

Regardless of the mysterious things that were happening in Konoha, the effects of the rumours persisted.

Everyone seemed to hold a fearful respect to the Yondaime Hokage.

Even Shukaku and Kurama pointedly not glance at the decorative frame above Minato's head whenever they attended the council meeting. Nor did anyone mentioned anything when Kakashi returned to duty with both a welcoming party and a baby shower party that the Yondaime has thrown for the whole Konoha.

Some things were better left unspoken.

Though, regardless of everything, there was something that the Shinobi World agreed on.

Namikaze Minato is the best Hokage in history.

He was probably the most insane, but definitely the best. Any arguments?

A/N: Yep. Crack at its finest. Hope you enjoyed reading this. Read and Review (and please do not argue with Yondaime. He is the BEST, okay?)