OMG I'm so sorry this chapter took so stinking long to update. Seriously, writer's block x 1000. I'm glad with how this chapter turned out though, and I do have ideas for future chapters. It just came down to deciding what direction I wanted to go, and once I finally found one I agreed with, I ran with it. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and please be sure to follow, favorite, AND REVIEW!

Chapter 13: Behind the Surface

You know where you're just having a terrible day, and you are just lashing out at everyone around you because you just want to be left alone. Otherwise known as pmsing. That would be my day.

The past few months have been exhausting. First it was dealing with the dream phenomenon's with Rin. Then it was discovered Sesshomaru had been captured (because kidnapped just didn't feel like the right word to be used in that context.) To put the cherry on the top, somehow I was responsible for the latter.

It wasn't easy trying figure how to rescue said dog demon, nor handle a child going through what could only be described as prepubescent angst. Lets not even talk about Shippo and his antics.

So could anyone seriously blame me when I officially jumped off the deep end with Inuyasha's constant need of drive me completely insane? Honestly it hadn't taken much. A snarky remark. Thats all it had taken for me to officially lose it.

So here I was, in nothing more than a light sweater and a skirt that suddenly felt too short, sitting in a tree, crying my eyes out and wishing that for five freaking seconds, the world could leave me alone.

I just wanted something, anything to go right. Yet everything I did seem to go wrong. Every turn was just another disaster.

As a crunch noise sounded a few steps away from me, I couldn't help but sigh. No, the world would not leave me alone. Honestly, what did I expect? The day my luck changed would be the day Naraku was defeated at this rate.

"Go away. I'm not ready to deal with life right now." It was childish, I know, but a small part of me really did hope that the intruder would take my words to heart. As I slowly pulled my face out of my knees and looked up, I could feel dread invade my body.

Think of the devil and he shall appear. At least, if Sesshomaru could be considered the devil in this case. I could only sit incredibly still, my blue gaze taking in his gold. A quick scan of the area showed no possibility of escape, though on the bright side, Kikyo and Kanna didn't seem to be present either.

I couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing at this point.

"S…Sesshomaru." I hated how whispery my voice sounded, or the way he just stood there, staring at me as if I was an ant that had crossed his path. I could feel my aura flare in irritation and fear.

Why? Why was it every SINGLE time I needed a moment, that was when the world had to go to crap? When would I learn to keep my temper tantrums local, and just stay in the vicinity of everyone else?

"Priestess. Do you not realize what time it is, or are you just daft?" I felt myself jolt at the question. He was…talking… to me? I tilted my head at him, silently assessing him from my perch. Had I dreamed the whole Sesshomaru possessed thing last week? Or was this another dream, and I was slowly losing the ability to tell the difference anymore?

"It's not that dark out…and shouldn't you be like…following Naraku's orders or something?" Okay, maybe that was a dumb question, but quite frankly, I was curious. No need to tiptoe around the bush so to speak.

I watched his eyes flash, the beast that hid behind his beautiful exterior coming to the surface for only a moment, before receding.

"This Sesshomaru answers to no one." Okaaaaaaay. Seemed like a pretty believable thing of Sesshomaru to say.

"So um… are you like free now? Or am I just having a moment in the twilight zone?" At this, a single eyebrow raised, either because he was trying to figure out what a twilight zone was, or what I meant about the first question.

"That is a…difficult question to answer." Well, that didn't sound promising. Somehow though, I felt myself relax slightly. He didn't seem to want to cause me harm this time. In fact, he almost seemed…friendly. Weird.

Against my better judgement, I climbed down my spot on the tree. It wasn't like he couldn't obliterate me if he wanted too. I was better off just having my feet on the ground anyways. As I stood in front of him, I couldn't help but allow my eyes to slowly drink him in.

To watch the way his silver bangs shifted around that blue crescent moon, or the way his smirk felt so…right. Everything about him felt so painfully familiar, as if I had seen him this way a million times over and over.

But I hadn't. I only had a handful of my only memories of him. The rest were someone else's. Somehow, I had a feeling he wouldn't appreciate knowing that Rin had shared something so personal of him with me.

At that moment, I felt reality come crashing down. He wasn't here, at least, not really. This was a dream, or possibly even a vision. It was stupid to believe that he would just appear out of no where as if nothing had ever happened. That everything was going to be okay.

I suddenly couldn't help but question everything. When had I fallen back into the void? Had the fight between Inuyasha and I ever actually happen? Or had I imagined everything? I could feel my earlier irritation creep back through me.

"This is the mirror isn't it? I don't understand, before when Rin had shown me a vision in the mirror, I was just watching it from the sidelines, so what is this? Are you even real?" That last question was nothing more than a broken whisper as I finally broke my gaze from his to stare at the ground.

How many times would I fail? How many times would I allow myself to fall into false hope, only to have it torn out from under me?

Within a blink of an eye, Sesshomaru had shortened the distance between us, his face only a few inches from mine as his fingers grasped my chin with enough pressure to force me to meet his gaze.

"Foolish woman, do not dare question the reality of my presence. This reality might not be one that we would consider ours, however, that does not make this Sesshomaru any less real. My soul was bound here in this mirror, separated from my body. You, priestess, were the one who sought me out with your ridiculous self pity, not the other way around.

I could only gape at him, not expecting the tirade, nor the irritation that flushed through me. Trying to push it down, I tilted my head, my eyes blazing with challenge. So I had a bad day. He didn't need to be a jerk about it!

"So…what now?" His grip tightened for just a moment, his eyes narrowing at me in a way that had strange butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I decided to just chalk that one down as nervousness.

I stubbornly held his gaze, watching as he seemed to contemplate on my words. I could feel my neck start to burn from the awkward angle I had my head tilted, but I refused to back down.

Finally, after careful deliberation, he let me go. He held his ground however, and did not step back. Knowing that I didn't have all day for pride, I took two steps back. I didn't have anything to prove at this point. I had held my ground where it counted. That was all that mattered.

"You mentioned Rin…Is she well?" His question made my heart melt, and whatever strange agitation I felt towards him instantly vanished. He missed Rin. Was worried about her. Somehow, that meant more than anything else.

"She is. She misses you a lot and talks about you all the time. When we found out…what happened, well she's been a trooper about it. I don't know if you can see what your body is being used for, but she helped me escape the last time we ran into each other. She's…a force to be reckon with." I couldn't stop my proud grin as I thought of the little spit fire.

I watched his posture just barely relax, the only hint of how he felt about the situation. As I continued to stare at him, I slowly began to realize why I was here. The demon I had just been searching for so vigorously was right in front of me. God only knows he was too proud to ever ask for help. It was up to me to extend the olive branch here.

"We've…been looking for you. I've been wanting to make things right…to find you, but I just… I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

It was hard to admit it out loud. It was something I didn't even want to tell Rin. To acknowledge that I had no solutions. That the reason I was so frustrated lately was that I had no idea what I was doing.

I wasn't sure what exactly I had expected Sesshomaru to do. Yell at me? Tell me that I worthless? Have me grovel for forgiveness of what my inexperience had cost him?

He did none of those things, instead he walked around me and took a seat at the base of the tree I originally had hidden myself away in.

"Sit." I felt myself involuntarily flinching at the command. It was silly really. Inuyasha was the one wearing the rosary, not me. So why did I suddenly feel as if Sesshomaru's words could hold power over me? Shrugging it off, I took a seat across from him.

"I felt your power being used against me. Why?" I felt my heart clench, a thousand needles of guilt piercing through me. But he deserved an explanation, even if it meant earning his hatred and disgust.

"Do you remember when we fought against Kanna and Kikyo together?" At the slight narrowing of his eyes, I swallowed.

"The arrow I shot at Kanna, the one that was absorbed, well the power remained in the arrow that I had shot at her… and thats what they used against you. Believe me when I say I had absolutely no intention of that ever happening!" The sincerity in my voice earned no points, his face could have been made out of stone at this point.

Knowing that I had displeased him, I looked down and began fidgeting with my skirt. If this thing with Kanna and Kikyo had never happened, would he be looking at me like that right now? Would I have cared?

It didn't matter. What happened had happened. There was no going back. All I could do was move forward, and try to make the best of a situation. I owed it to him to fix this, and one way or another, I would.

"I heard your voice calling to me, demanding my assistance. That was you, yes?" At this, I couldn't stop a tiny smile.

"Yeah, that was me. Rin got better shortly after we moved her. If you hadn't… I don't know what would have happened. I was really scared I would lose her." Golden orbs closed, and he seemed to think on this.

"How were you able to call to me, if you had not intended for your powers to be used against me?" His distrust was palpable. Biting my lip, I tried to explain how exactly that had occurred. He listened to my story calmly, never interrupting, only wishing to hear all the facts.

It was such a huge difference to Inuyasha. Were they really related? It was still hard to believe that he was here, in front of me, real…well…sorta.

"Can I ask… how you got here?" I felt almost rude for asking, but I couldn't seem to curb my curiosity. After all, wasn't this how I figured out how to rescue him. The time to get answers to all my questions.

"I am the one asking the questions priestess." I was unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes, knowing that was his way of telling me to wait my turn.

We continued on like that for what felt like hours, answering all his questions regarding what I knew about Kikyo and Kanna. Soon though, he asked a question I wasn't sure if I should answer.

"Where is my body now." It was an honest question. He deserved an answer. Even if he wouldn't like it.

"Last I heard, you were causing havoc in the southern lands." He had been busy to say the least. Causing fear and death where ever he went. It made an easy enough path to follow, but Naraku's intentions were becoming clear.

"Naraku intends to cause a war." Figures he had it all worked out in seconds, when it had taken us a week to figure out what Naraku was up to. I could only nod, no longer finding the voice to answer.

Where my powers had been used to destroy Sesshomaru's life, his body was being used as a catalyst for war. He was the Lord of the West. It was not something a demon could easily ignore. His trespassing had upset various lords and ladies of the higher court.

If we got Sesshomaru's body back, he would have a lot to answer for during his "hibernation." Inuyasha and the others did their best to help where they could, but it seemed like every fire we put out, there were five more in its wake.

It was becoming exhausting to say the least.

We sat in silence for awhile, just listening to the wind blow through the trees. It all looked so realistic, was nothing here really real? I mean, I know this was Sesshomaru's "soul" but wasn't the mirror supposed to be a void? So where was this?

He seemed pretty convinced we were somewhere in the mirror. It was possible that the mirror had several dimensions, and I had been in merely a part of it, hidden away with Rin where no one else could find us.

A sudden heavy sensation came over me, and suddenly I knew my time here was up. I took him in one last time. The way he looked when he was lost in thought. How his hair seemed to dance with the wind. The shadows of the night seemed to make his skin even more fair.

"I have to go…" It shouldn't feel so sad. I felt like I was abandoning him. I didn't even find out anything on how to rescue him yet. He only nodded before standing up and walking away, never looking back as I felt myself slowly fading away.

Waking up was disorienting. Waking up in a tree however, was terrifying, especially when you fall out of said tree.

"Dammit woman, can you learn to take care of yourself for more than five freaking minutes? You could have busted your stupid head open!" Inuyasha's grumble fell on deaf ears as I tried to force my brain to work.

Why did everything suddenly feel so foggy? Like something was missing? The memory of just meeting Sesshomaru had felt so crystal clear…yet suddenly, it was as if something in the background had disappeared. For the life of me, I couldn't figure it out.

"You okay?" Inuyasha's voice was soft with concern, tilting my head back to look into my eyes. It wasn't the gold in his eyes that caught my attention though. It was a single golden flower hanging from the tree behind him.

Without a thought, I moved away from him and picked it. I had never seen anything like it. No, that wasn't right…I had seen something like this before but… I couldn't remember where. A flash of silver and gold shifted in the back of my mind, but than there was nothing.

I couldn't get the odd feeling out of my mind that I had somehow forgotten something important. With a shrug, I kept the flower, before turning to Inuyasha.

"About earlier…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost it like that on you. I guess with everything going on I've become a little short tempered. Thank you for checking on me." I watched his ears perk up at my words, how his shoulders relaxed a little at my lack of anger.

"Keh, yeah I already knew that Kagome. Come on, lets go." With that, all was forgiven.

As I later curled into my sleeping bag, I couldn't help but think about the nights events. Had that really happened. Had I really met Sesshomaru? The real one? He didn't seem particularly angry. Than again, was he really the type to show how angry he was?

Would I see him again? Or had I wasted my one and only chance without learning anything that could save him? It hadn't really been my fault though! Sesshomaru didn't seem to want to answer any of my questions.

Of course, he probably was worried about things. About Rin. His body. His lands. He had the right to demand answers. All this time I had been focusing on finding him, I hadn't even thought where his mind had gone. Or rather, his soul.

How had Kikyo and Kanna done it? Before, it only seemed like Kanna could suck in human souls with her mirror. If now it was possible to suck out a demon soul than…did we even have a chance?

That couldn't be right though. They had tortured Sesshomaru for months. Holding him captive with my spiritual energy, slowly wearing him down. So maybe they had to what? Break him first? Wear him down till there was nothing left.

I honestly had never wondered if demons even had souls before. Mine always seemed like the prime target with any given situation. He had seemed well though. Calculating. There was no way he had given up, I wouldn't let him!

It all seemed to be coming down to the mirror. It needed to be destroyed, one way or another. If I could just destroy the mirror, both Sesshomaru and Kikyo would be freed. But what then? Would Sesshomaru kill Kikyo? She had been a puppet, just the same as my powers had been. Would he truly not forgive her?
And what about me? Would he forgive me for this mess? He didn't particularly seem pleased with my role in it all. Did his forgiveness really matter at this point? He needed to be freed. Simple as that. Anything else was a bonus.

Shippo and Rin soon joined me under the covers, both tense from the events of the day. With a sigh, I pulled out a story book, cuddling them close until they were relaxed and warm, before I began the tale of the fox and the hound. Shippo's personal favorite of course.

The next morning, as we were packing up for the day, the golden flower I had picked decided that moment to float to the ground, catching Rin's attention.

For a moment she stared at it, her eyes lighting up with childish delight.

"It's just like the one Lord Sesshomaru brought me to see!" Tilting my head to look at her, I took in her happy expression.

"Oh? Lord Sesshomaru showed them to you? They must have been lovely!" I told her, watching as features changed to one of confusion. She looked at me, then the flower, before looking back at me.

"You don't…remember?" Her words were soft, her eyes filled with a sadness that I suddenly felt bad for causing. Gently, I brushed her bangs out of her face, trying to soothe her in the only way I knew how.

"Was there a dream with flowers like this one? I don't remember one." I said, looking once more at the golden flower she held. She took a step away from me, her eyes filling with tears as the flower was crushed in her little hands.

"How could you….HOW COULD YOU FORGET!" Her anger had me jumping to my feet, staring after her as she ran to Inuyasha, who shouted in alarm before cradling the child soothingly in his arms. He stared at me for a moment, his expression confused before once more focusing on Rin, who at the moment seemed content to cry her heart out in his chest.

I had forgotten something. Something important. Yet as I stared at the crumpled golden petals on the ground, I had no idea what it was. Suddenly, I felt scared.

Knowledge had a price. It was something the mature Rin had said in the void. When I had learned about Kikyo, that price had been silence. I couldn't talk about what I had seen, not even to Inuyasha.

I had just met Sesshomaru, and learned that he was very much still mentally alive. That the mirror was somehow the key to everything. That realization however had come with a price tag that I had unknowingly paid.

Would I slowly lose my memories one by one, every time I visited the void? By the sounds of it, it had been a dream that Rin had originally shared with me. One that had to do with Sesshomaru, and most likely, golden flowers.

Surely she could just dream about it again and share the vision with me? Somehow though, I was beginning to feel doubtful. Why was this happening? Why bother sharing all those dreams with me, why have me learn so many things about him…when in the end it was only going to be taken away?

What if at some point, I didn't even remember anymore why I was looking for him? What if I lost more than just memories of him, but memories of other important events as well? I suddenly felt myself questioning my identity, and the memories I currently held.

Could I really see Sesshomaru again, with the knowledge that I would lose something in exchange? As I watched Inuyasha gently rumble whispers into Rin's ear while rubbing soothing circles around her back, I knew this had to come to an end and soon.

We had to find Sesshomaru, no matter what.

Since it's been a long time, I just wanted to point out that the memory Kagome lost is dreams of gold from chapter 2. it was her first and favorite memory of Sesshomaru, where he sat upon his throne of golden petals.

In case anyone is wondering, Sesshomaru and Kagome share a connection through their souls due to the amount of exposure they had to each other during all those months. Kagome is able to access the part of the mirror Sesshomaru is in due to that. Yup, I know, I'm running with something crazy here but just humor me lol!

Hopefully soon, Kagome will rescue Sesshomaru and we can move on to some romance. This angsty nonsense is killing me! If you guys need something a little more light and fluffy, please feel free to check out It Takes a Village. Waiting for a few more reviews there before I feel motivated to update. Thanks again guys and see you next time! Reviews are appreciated!