Notes: Inspired by the true story of Zafar, the horny dolphin xD I'm trying to get a bit of my writing mojo back, so I apologize that this is so short, but real life and health issues are kicking my butt.

"Stupid Zafar," Kurt mumbles, scowling as a local tour guide explains to a troupe of disgruntled tourists that no, they won't be allowed to bathe in the crystal blue waters off the shore of Landevennec today. The whole shoreline has been closed off, thanks to Zafar, a local dolphin popular with tourists and residents alike for his friendliness and easygoing nature – accompanying swimmers during their morning laps, letting bathers grab his dorsal fin to give them rides, that sort of thing.

Except not now.

Now the pesky porpoise is in heat.

Kurt throws his hands up in frustration when he spots the sleek body of the male bottlenose cut through the cool water – water he was looking forward to immersing himself in. "This is something that would only happen to me!"

"Technically, it's happening to us," Sebastian points out, lying out on their beach blanket, not quite as upset by the antics of a lovelorn dolphin as his sulking husband, "and about two hundred other tourists. On the Bay of Brest, too." He snickers. "Kind of ironic."

"Yeah, but it's my honeymoon."

"Our honeymoon."

"Yes, it's our honeymoon," Kurt grouses in an unflattering rendition of his husband's voice. "But during your life, you've practically lived in France. I've only been here one other time so far. I wanted to enjoy myself."

"Pfft. We're still going to enjoy ourselves." Sebastian sits up and hooks his chin over Kurt's shoulder. "One randy dolphin isn't going to destroy our fun. At least it's not raining the way the weather forecast predicted."

"Rain I can deal with," Kurt says, throwing in the towel, literally - tossing it and the rest of his things into his bag. "Rain is even romantic. Horny dolphin … not so much."

"Now, you see, that's where you and I differ." Sebastian puts and hand on his husband's arm and stops his furious packing. "Besides, why do you want to be out in the sun anyway? You're so pale, you'll probably burst into flames."

Kurt's gaze shifts from glaring at the dolphin, rubbing indecently up against a moored boat, to glaring at his husband.

"Don't make me regret marrying you."

"Don't worry." Sebastian grins, wrapping his arms around Kurt's torso. "Come with me back to the hotel and I'll make sure you never regret marrying me."

Kurt raises an unamused brow as his husband teases him with barely there kisses across his shoulder. "So, is have sex all we're going to do on this honeymoon?"

"Of course not," Sebastian says, moving down the line of Kurt's spine. "Apparently we have to do other stuff, too. But you know what they say – when in France, do as the dolphins do."

Kurt snorts, shivering when Sebastian's lips brush a ticklish spot above his right hip. "Who the hell says that?"

"You know … they …"

"Well, they should be shot."

"Harsh."

"Can't we just go to another beach?" Kurt asks as Sebastian stands, grabbing his husband's arm and tugging him to his feet. "I mean, Zafar is terrorizing this shore. But there's got to be others …"

Sebastian holds Kurt's bag out to him. "True, but do you really want to take that chance?"

A startled yelp catches Kurt's attention. He turns in time to watch an intrepid kayaker have his vessel overturned by the dry humping dolphin. He'd heard horrifying tales of hapless swimmers receiving that same treatment. Seeing it with his own eyes makes him shudder; the thought of being on the receiving end makes his stomach go cold. "Sex it is." He takes his bag and throws the strap over his shoulder. "Let's go."