Disclaimer: not my characters.

takes place after Lara Jean asks Peter if they should just call it because she over heard Peter and Gen talking on the bleachers *

•••••••••• Chapter 1

I can't help but feel like I'll seem more like a loser if I admit to Peter that overhearing him with Gen hurt my heart a little. By a little, I mean a lot. Here I am, talking to Josh about things and I don't feel anything for him. I was once so in love with Josh and Peter changed that. I want Peter. I feel so dumb for even agreeing to this fake relationship that I let myself fall for him. Especially knowing how obsessed he was over Gen.

As soon as Peter spotted Lara Jean talking to Josh in the hallway, his stomach turned to knots. He wasn't really the jealous type but he liked Lara Jean. She was different. He thought about her more than Gen which said a lot because as Lara Jean put it, he was obsessed with her. He called out to her and could see that Lara Jean had seen him already and broke away from Sanderson towards him.

Lara Jean walked a little faster than usual when she got to Peter. An indicator that something was bugging her.

"What do you think people are gonna say when they see my girlfriend cozying up to Sanderson?" Peter said with accusation in his voice.

"What do you think people are gonna say when they hear you're practically begging to get back with Gen on the bleachers?" Lara Jean shoots back.

Peter scoffs.

"So you're spying on me now?"

"Not intentionally." Lara Jean replies as they turn into a small empty hallway and face each other.

"So I was talking to Gen. So what? You don't even post about us on your instagram." Peter says.

"Cause I don't want my sisters to see." Lara Jean says with an implication of duh!

"Yeah, like Kitty's gonna care."

"I'm not talking about Kitty. I'm talking about Margot." Lara Jean replies before pausing for a moment.

"Look, Peter... (Peter immediately has his hands at his sides as if to say "cut" or "don't go there")

"...I don't think either one of us thought this was going to go down for this long but Josh and I are cool, Gen's officially jealous, I think that we need to call it." This is what Peter didn't want to hear.

"I can't believe you're trying to break up with me before the ski trip. That's in the contract!" Peter says.

"Only if we're still together."

"We are still together! You're just trying to pull out because you're scared."

"What do I have to be scared about?"

"You tell me Covey." His voice a little harsh.

Lara Jean thinks for a moment and Peter's eyebrows immediately show sadness.

"It doesn't make any sense to keep this going anymore. We've both achieved what we wanted. Why keep it going?" Lara Jean looks Peter in the eye and her heart is full of hope that he'll say something to change her mind.

Peter sighs. His face still sad. He can't bring himself to say what he's feeling so he goes along with Lara Jean. Logically, she's right.

"You're right. We both got what we wanted out of this and this should end. If not now then when?" He said.

Lara Jean gives him an small smile, "Thank you for helping me with Josh. Thank you for bringing me out of my comfort zone. Even if we were just pretending. Good bye... Peter Kavinsky." She turns to walk away and hide her face. She can feel the lump in her throat. Her body hot with emotions.

Peter grabs her arm.

"Hey Covey," he says softly. She stops walking but doesn't face him. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

She smiles, but he can't see. She doesn't say anything because she knows if she does, she'll cry. Instead, Lara Jean pulls her arm away and gives him a thumbs up.

That was it. Kavinsky and Lara Jean broke up. The burning question of "what if?" Burning in their brain. But both too afraid to be that vulnerable with each other.

The school was buzzing with the news. So many scenarios of Peter finally came to his senses and Gen and her boyfriend broke up so Peter broke up with Lara Jean, although Peter and Gen weren't officially a couple again. Lara Jean quickly went back to being invisible to everyone, except Peter. He couldn't help but look for her in the hallways or cafeteria. Sometimes he found himself going to the diner hoping she'd be there. One time she was there, but she wasn't alone. Josh Sanderson was there and Peter was filled with jealousy. Peter quickly left before either one could see him. He was happy that Lara Jean didn't seem to be hurting. That they really were just pretending so "breaking up" didn't affect her. He thought she was really lucky to be able to do that.

What Peter couldn't see was how Lara Jean cleaned her room. To someone else that wouldn't seem like a big deal but for Lara Jean, it was a big gesture. She also baked so much that she had to go to her neighbors' houses and drop some off. She was distant from her family which made Kitty sad because Lara Jean was the closest to a mother figure after Margot. Lara Jean's dad gave her the space she needed. It made Lara Jean happy that he didn't pry because he had been so proud of her for branching out when she was with Peter that she didn't want him to be disappointed now that she's not.

The ski trip was only 2 weeks after Peter and Lara broke up. Naturally, Lara Jean didn't go. She didn't feel like she missed out on a lot. It didn't surprise her to hear that after the ski trip, Gen and Peter were a couple again. Gen had a smug look on her face anytime she saw Lara Jean. Lara Jean brushed it off like she had the last however many years Gen had deemed Lara Jean her enemy. But of course Lara Jean was hurt. She would catch Peter staring at her sometimes but most likely it was because she had been in his line of vision not because he wanted to. He gave her a smile anytime she met his eyes. She often thought about what he said that day, "don't be a stranger." But what did that really mean? Gen would flip if Peter had text Lara Jean or vice versa. So why would he say that? Did he only say that because he wanted to be on friendly terms with her? Because he felt like he had to say something?

Lara Jean noticed that he wasn't his old self with Gen. It almost seemed like he just tolerated her. Or maybe that was just Lara Jean in dreamland again.

One day after school, Kitty brought Lara Jean a notebook and a pen. "What's this for?" Lara Jean said. She had been laying on the couch watching The Office to cheer her up. She had been trying to watch funny things since her breakup with Peter to keep herself happy.

Kitty sighed. "I want my sister back." Lara Jean felt a pang of sadness. Had she really been that bad all this time? "I don't understand it, but last time you wrote your letters it was to close an open wound. You need to do it again. With Peter." She looked so grown up right then. Lara Jean sat up. Hugged her little sister even though Kitty quickly pulled away. Nodded at her sister and went to her room. She spent the rest of the night writing one last letter to Peter Kavinsky before placing it in an envelope and tucking it away in her hat box.

The rest of the school year went by like a breeze. It was the last day of school and it was pretty much a blow off day where the students cleaned out their lockers, signed yearbooks and chatted with friends.

Lara Jean was sitting in AP Lit reading a book while everyone around her was talking to friends, watching videos on their phone or wandering the hallway when Chris came in with a twinkle in her eye.

"What's up with you Chris?" Lara Jean said amused.

"Oh nothing." She said with a smirk on her face looking down at her feet. This made Lara Jean curious. "Tell me!" She demanded.

"I heard that my dear cousin broke up with PK."

She said and immediately stared at Lara Jean with such happiness in her eyes. Lara Jean's heart did a flip but didn't let it show. What did it matter that Peter was single? It's not like he even liked Lara Jean.

Despite Chris' face full of hope, Lara Jean calmly said, "That's nice.. or I guess sad? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say here."

Chris let out an UGH. "You're supposed to be thrilled! You can get back with Kavinsky! Come on LJ, you were a different person with him. Not that I don't like you now or before PK, but you were so happy."

Lara Jean doesn't know what to say so she doesn't say anything, just continues to read her book hoping Chris takes the hint. She does. "Fine. I just wanted to tell you what I heard. Anyway... want to go outside? School is almost over." Lara Jean doesn't think long about it, "Sure, I cleaned out my locker already so I'm ready to go home." They head outside and spend the rest of the period talking and listening to music before Lara Jean heads down to her car to wait for Kitty.

After Lara Jean drops Kitty off at home, she heads to the diner for a last day of school tradition she had with Margot. She invited Kitty but Kitty said her friend Allison was going to come over so they could plan their summer.

When Lara Jean walked in she didn't notice the familiar face sitting in a booth staring at her. She was trying to get her keys in her purse before going to sit at one of the stools near the front.

"Hey Covey." Lara Jean looked up but not at the voice who said it. Her heart sank. She finally turned her head to face him and there he was. Peter Kavinsky. Handsome as ever. Looking at her.

"Hi Peter." She turned her head to her purse, wanting to get her phone out so she could avoid whatever this was between Peter and her. She found her phone and placed it in front of her while Peter moved from a booth to a stool not far away from her. Almost exactly like the first time she met him here all those months ago that started their fake relationship. Except that time, she felt nothing for Peter and this time she felt everything.

"How have you been?" He asked. Lara Jean turned and faced him.

"As good as I can be. I heard about Gen. I'm sorry. I know how much you like her and I hoped things worked out between you guys after... us." Lara Jean couldn't believe she had said that out loud. She was comfortable with Peter but the boy was probably heart broken and she said everything without thought. She started to explain herself, "I just mean-"

"Liked." He said it without hesitating. Without a doubt. Lara Jean saw Peter's expression change. It wasn't sadness. It wasn't happiness. It was content. Was he actually happy to not be with Gen? The letters had worked before. But this time, everything she tried to hide away in her hatbox. She couldn't help it. Peter was here. The closest she's been with him in months. Staring at her. Staring at her with those eyes that could make Lara Jean fall in love with him in a heartbeat.