Garrett may be his boyfriend's best friend, but Simon doesn't know that much about Garrett. He knows his birthday is June 7, he dyes his hair blond, plays as a forward in his recreational and school teams, and that he's known Bram since they were literally in diapers. None of this information or time spent with him prepares Simon for the text, come get your mans, sent at 11:49PM on a Friday night.

why, he texts back, vaguely amused. He knows that Bram and Garrett have a long upstanding weekly bro-night, the date and activity vary depending on how busy the week has been. As far as Simon knows, and based on Bram's last few texts, right now they're just chilling at Garrett's house, drinking flavoured sparkling water and playing FIFA.

he won't stop talkin about u, Garrett says, he keeps talking about a missed date night ? he's ruining our bro-ness.

Simon smiles, can't stop himself from blushing. Just a little bit. I'd hate to come between your bromance.

shut up spier. come get ur mans. he keeps waxing poetic about ur eyes. i thought the pining would stop once u began dating

Unfortunately, Simon can't just leave for Garrett's house at midnight, Friday night or not. He settles for the next best thing: Skype. Because Bram has a stupid android phone and they can't Facetime.

The Skype calls rings exactly once before Bram picks up. His face fills the screen in pixelated squares, then smooths out. Simon smiles helplessly at him. He can never get over how handsome his boyfriend is - all cheekbones and a perfect smile and the cutest eyes and perfect brows that Bram has mastered at doing himself. "Hi," he says, a little stupid. It's okay. Bram's seen him stupider and far less coherent.

"Hi," Bram says back. "What'd you call for?" He's sitting on a black sofa, wearing a pristine white hoodie. There's indistinguishable music in the background. He looks so comfortable and cute, Simon can't.

"Well," Simon grins, "your best friend sold you out. Apparently, you've been aggressively pining for me."

Bram's eyes close for a moment, making a pained face. "Oh my God," he says, but he's smiling a little. "Garrett's such an asshole."

"Come on," laughs Simon. He leans back in his desk chair, pulling his long legs up to sit cross-legged as best as he can. This worked better when he was younger, he thinks, his legs are too long now and bump into the arms of the chair.

Bram rolls his eyes, good-natured. "He is," he says, but he doesn't really sound mad. He sounds a little resigned, mostly fond. "I can't believe he told you that."

Simon coughs. "Something about my eyes?" he prompts. "You were waxing poetic about them? Hopelessly pining after me. You should do something about that."

On the other end of the video call, his boyfriend laughs. "I wish I could," he tells him. His voice is, in fact, a little wistful. His face is unbearably happy, though, enough that Simon's face hurts from smiling back so much. "But it is Bro Night. Mandatory bro bonding time. I've basically been in Garrett's presence for the past eight consecutive hours."

"Garrett told me to come get you, actually. I don't think he can stand much more of you allegedly loving me from afar like a loser."

"I'm a loser now, huh?" Bram raises an eyebrow, shaking his head. "God, and this betrayal. He's been 'in the bathroom' forever. I think he's in his room, I'm gonna go get him."

Simon says, "I'll help you hide the body," to watch Bram's shoulders shake as he stands up, watching as he angles his phone further back to accomdate more of him in the frame. "I'll let you get back to your Bro Night," he adds. He could spend hours talking to his boyfriend, but he knows how much Garrett means to Bram, too.

Bram smiles at him. "Thank you," he says, "goodnight. Baby."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Simon tells him, "sweetheart." They've been trying out pet names for each other. Leah calls them sickeningly cute and makes a face everytime they say something ridiculous like muffin cakes or snookie pie. Abby cackles and high-fives them the weirder the names get.

So far, Simon likes when Bram calls him babe and baby the best. He's pretty sure Bram enjoys honey badger and cream puff because they're funny, muffin in an ironic sense, and boo genuinely.

Simon picks up Bram on Saturday for their standing brunch/study date. Every week they choose somewhere different to go, then end up at one of their respective houses for family-ordered studying.

When Simon pulls up to Garrett's house, with the text just walk in door's open sitting in his phone, he's itching to see his boyfriend. He lets himself into the Laughlin home (bright, warm, clean, lots of soft rugs and throw blankets) and makes his way downstairs. Bram and Garrett are sitting in front of the television, watching soccer.

"Hey," Simon says, and Bram turns his head, smile bright enough to make Simon a little weak. He watches his boyfriend stand and walk over to him; he sighs into a greeting kiss, tilting his head up just slightly.

Bram's mouth is warm, tasting faintly of mint. "Hey," says Bram, face open and soft, before giving him another chaste kiss. Simon's so distracted, he doesn't even notice Garrett until Garrett is right there behind Bram.

"Get outta my house," he tells them, with this unbearably fond look at his face. His eyes are locked on Bram's though, as Bram pulls away from Simon to lean into Garrett a little, whose hand is on his shoulder. "Take your pining asses away from me. Finally."

Bram smiles back, equally as fond. "Love you, bro."

Garrett rolls his eyes. "I know, I love you too. Hi, Simon."

"Hi, Garrett," he says, nonplussed. "Bye, Garrett?"

He grins at him. "Correct," he says, "10 points to Hufflepuff. Get the fuck out of here."

They end up at The Waffle House. Simon orders chocolate chip waffles, as always, with lots of maple syrup. Bram's partial to their peanut butter waffles, a side of scrambled eggs. They discuss Reese's versus Oreo cereal, school, and how Harry Potter is one of the most underrated characters in Harry Potter.

"I'm just saying," Simon says, swallowing a mouthful of bacon, "he's hot. Heroic. Decent character development and a dark part. He's literally a classic character, he should be a fan favourite."

Bram shrugs. "It's because he's such a classic character," he points out, reasonably. "Besides, the side characters are so complex and diverse that it's also interesting to explore them." He offers Simon a bite of his waffles. He accepts - they're good, better than the pecan but not as good as the chocolate ones. He tells Bram as much. His boyfriend laughs, and Simon's only a little in love.

They split the bill and hold hands back to the car so they can kiss while leaning against it. Bram does this thing where he likes to cup Simon's hip and rub his thumb against Simon's hipbones when they makeout. It's really nice.

Eventually, they make it back to Bram's place. Bram's mom isn't home, so they sprawl out in the living room. Simon doodles in the margins of Bram's papers, and Bram steals all of Simon's highlighters. He's such a highlighter thief. Simon's lost five different highlighters within the last month, and he can see the tip of his favourite purple gel highlighter peeking out of his boyfriend's pencil case. It's okay, he loves him regardless of his thieving habits.

"I love you," Simon says outloud, absentmindedly. Then he freezes as Bram looks up, both eyebrows raised. It's not the first time they've said it to each other, but it's a recent enough development in their relationship that it's still surprising to hear.

Bram's eyes, though, are full of nothing but warmth. "I love you too," he says, smiling. He leans over to peck Simon on the lips, but Simon tilts his head up for more. Bram is weak, and gives in. One peck turns into two, which turns into five, which turns into a full blown make-out session.

"We should, probably actually study," Bram says, breathless, into Simon's mouth. His boyfriend kisses him again, mumbling a mmhmm. "Simon," Bram says, and actually pulls away this time. His lips are swollen. He's so fucking cute, Simon wants to die.

"Yeah," Simon says. He would try and be convincing, except he still remembers when Bram's mom and Garrett walked in on them kissing in the middle of the living room. It had been mortifying. He's already resigned to his fate of playing it safe and just studying. "Just. Until we finish our homework?"

He smiles at him. "Until we finish our homework," agrees Bram.

They make it through three-quarters and ninety minutes of their homework before making out again. It's almost a personal record. Garrett walks in on them, this time, again, and makes so much noise that Simon almost falls off the couch. Bram reaches out with lightning-fast reflexes to catch him, hauling him back on the couch by his waist.

"You're such a disaster gay," Garrett says, shaking his head. "Imagine if your mom had walked in, Bram." He's kind of laughing, and definitely not serious at all. He puts both his hands on his hips, like some sort of stern soccer mom. "What would she say?"

"'Do your homework, boys,'" Bram intones, completely deadpan. He looks embarrassed, but Simon knows that he can never not joke with Garrett. "'Do homework, not each other,' maybe."

Simon snorts, still blushing. Garrett shakes his head, fully laughing now, hands falling from his hips. "Disaster gays," he repeats, "the both of you."

"I'm not even clumsy," complains Simon. Garrett raises his eyebrows at him, giving him an decidedly undeserved judgemental face. Simon turns to Bram for help, and finds his own boyfriend betraying him with this soft, sheepish expression. "I'm not!"

"Sure, Spier," Garrett says. "And I'm not pan as fuck."

"Be nice," Bram chides, settling back against the couch. He tucks Simon in close to him. Simon decides to be nice and cuddle, instead of kick him off the couch. "It's not like we all don't know that you first began watching Uruguay play because of Cavani."

Garrett rolled his eyes. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, a little defensively, but doesn't seem altogether too bothered. "You say that like it's embarrassing, except that anyone with working eyes can see how fucking hot he is."

"It's a little embarrassing," Simon says, just to see Garrett's reaction.

"Spier, you've never watched a game of pro soccer in your life." Well. He can't argue with that.

"What're you even doing here?" asks Simon, abruptly, as it suddenly dawns him that, yes, his boyfriend's best friend did in fact barge in on them making out in his boyfriend's own home.

Garrett grins. "Bram's mom told me she'd be home early for dinner, asked if I wanted to come over. I'm here to warn you that you only have about an hour left with each other, so I'd be more careful with the kissing if I was you."

"You could have called," sighs Bram. He sounds kind of unbearably fond.

He raises both eyebrows at him. "I will bet you five bucks that your phones are either on Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode." Simon makes a face at him. Of course they're both on Do Not Disturb - they didn't want anybody interrupting them. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I actually gotta be somewhere, so I won't be here for dinner. Have fun, you crazy kids."

"Bye, Garrett," Bram intones, sounding just as dry as Garrett had.

"Bye, Garrett," Simon echoes, waving, his other hand half-covering his face. Garrett is a Molotav cocktail mix of dryly-humoured and chill. He's funny, but him sayigng have fun reminds Simon distinctly of a horrifying safe sex talk his parents had forced him into. The moment Garrett leaves, Simon says, "He's kind of sweet. To come all the way over here to warn us so we won't be walked in on by your mom. Except that was almost as awkward as the last time."

Bram hums in agreement. "He has very little shame," he says. "But it was nice of him."

"Where is he even going now?"

"I don't think I can tell you that," Bram says, after a moment's pause. He looks faintly amused, a little apologetic. "It's Garrett's secret to tell."

Simon raises an eyebrow. "Can't break the Bro Code?"

"Something like that," Bram hums, and tugs Simon a little closer until he's basically on his lap. "Do you still want to talk about Garrett?"

"No. Tell me the functional group for amine," Simon says, just to be contrary, before kissing Bram.

About half an hour into this makeout session, Bram sets a timer for fifteen minutes. They manage to stop kissing and be finishing up their work by the time Bram's mom arrives home to a PG-13 situation.

Two weeks later, Garrett introduces their friend group to his boyfriend, Cal Price. Leah, who has been trolling everybody by saying exes who do monthly movie nights together, stay friends together with Garrett, is surprisingly the first to welcome him.

"This is Nick. I'm sure you know Bram and Simon already. And Abby, my girlfriend," she's saying, unusually forward, as Simon looks at Bram, a little bewildred, to find his boyfriend smiling fondly, completely unsurprised. Simon looks at Garrett, who looks fond and a little grateful. Cal looks, as usual, completely unfazed. He's nodding along as Leah speaks.

Simon looks back at Bram, and finds the soft thing in his chest that keeps melting at the sight of his boyfriend. I love you, he thinks, and smiles a little because he knows the feeling is reciprocated fully.

for misty. i love u. here's some soft bram/simon with indulgent garrett/cal because of that one (1) time you told me about them. i saw that you had asked for casual bram/simon date night headcanons on tumblr and i just... got inspired? garrett and leah are exes but leah is dating abby now. it's a little awkwardly put in because i wanted so badly to fit it in. i hope you like this even though it's a steaming pile of fluffy trash.

also psa that i dont own anything from simon vs the homosapiens agenda/love simon, all rights for that to the original creators/producers. title of this fic inspired by the song "sink in" by amy shark because i know you love that song, misty.