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Prologue: Everyone has a limit

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"Time to turn off the lights. Goodnight my loves!"

"And no spiritist rituals or fugues to assist a midnight rock concert."

Lincoln closed the door of his room calmly, ignoring what his parents said, it was the same as every night, the only period where the Loud house was silent.

The white-haired child sighed before throwing himself into bed, exhausted physically and mentally. Taking his faithful friend, Bun-bun, and hugging him.

"I'm sure you'll wonder why I'm like this? Well, it's been a tough day" Lincoln rested his head on the soft pillow while looking at the ceiling, talking with someone.

"This day was a disaster. Ms. Johnson scolded me in front of the whole class for being the only one who didn't pass the stupid math exam. I couldn't even study all weekend, I was helping Luan with her children's parties all Sunday, and on Saturday I was in bed, thanks to a baseball blow to my head, a "bad throw" said Lynn" Lincoln sighed, tired and trying to forget how bad his weekend had been.

"To make a long story short, Chandler and his group began to bully me, I stepped in Charles' poop in the yard, and well, you can guess how each of my sisters made my day worse."

"Lincoln! Stop complaining to yourself about your life! I need my ten-hour beauty sleep!" Lola screamed annoyed, with some background whispers that supported the spoiled princess.

He had forgotten the walls here can barely hold this old house. From his room, he could hear Lynn's snoring, and Luan telling jokes in her sleep.

"Oh no" Lincoln covered himself with his sheets, and bit his left hand. Fighting those horrible sensations that made him feel panic, it was awful to feel punctures in the area of the heart, and how your arm was numb for no reason.

Before jumping to any conclusions, no, his sisters didn't give him anxiety. Even he doesn't know what causes these sensations. They happen anywhere, for no apparent reason, for two and a half months, Lincoln has tried to cope with this problem.

"Relax Lincoln. Everything is in your mind. Nothing is gonna happen" he repeated the phrase over and over again, still biting his hand to make sure he was still in reality.

You're wondering. Why doesn't Lincoln seek help from his family or friends? Let's go for points.

First and foremost. Insecurity

After the incidents of his bad luck with his sisters, not to mention the more serious ones. He began to doubt his importance in the family.

Of course Lincoln knew they loved him, in a deep part of his mind. He had the example of when his sisters brought his favorite band to a private concert for him. But sadly he had more negative memories than positive ones, and doubt remained in his head.

Why did most of the misunderstandings happen to him?

Besides, it was apparent he contributed less in the home, his role was to support his sisters, and to maintain the order between them. Of course, when the girls don't need him they send him away.

Recently, it was starting to bother him that he contributed least for family vacations, his sisters work with their talents, Lincoln didn't have one.

Second. Bad time

For some destined coincidence, all of his sisters, except Lily for obvious reasons, were preparing for important events. Lori had her colleges exams, Leni was getting ready for a clothes designing contest, Luna had managed to get a gig for a concert at the English restaurant with her band. Luan prepared unique content for her Youtube channel, trying to reach the 100,000 subscribers mark, also to get the silver play button, and Lynn was getting prepared for the state-level soccer finals, to get a win in the last sport she lacked.

As for his younger sisters, Lucy had a local poetry course, Lola had her local beauty pageants, Lana was working on improving Vanzilla, and Lisa is working on a thesis of a complicated subject, which she wasn't going to send to anywhere less than to Harvard.

They were all working on their dreams. But the important detail was the most complicated, money.

Keeping such a big family in these times is very complicated. Two weeks ago the company where his father works had to cut their workforce, so Lynn Sr. had to accept a pay cut to avoid his dismissal.

His parents had explained to them things were going to be tight for a while, everyone had agreed to help in whatever way they could.

You know how much sessions with a good psychologist cost? A clue, a lot of money.

"As long as I don't go back to that state, I'll be fine" Lincoln rested his body on the comfortable bed, he hoped to at least sleep a few acceptable six hours of sleep.

Lincoln closed his eyes, ready to go to the world of dreams. Trying to ignore the fact he wasn't alone in the room.

"...Sweet dreams Lincoln..."

Days without incidents: 73

"...you too Lincoln" his mother's voice woke him up.

At least he slept well. He got up, grabbed his usual clothes, ready to line up to go to the bathroom.

"Okay Lincoln Loud, calm down, just act normal, prove you can overcome this alone" after a deep breath, Lincoln put on a happy face, but with a tired expression to adapt at daytime, and went out to face another day.

The bathroom line passed on ordinarily, helping Lucy with her poem, later thumb wrestling with Lynn to kill time, losing every time.

After bathing, he felt it again, now in the jaw area, dang it, it was still very early, normally the first sensations come around noon.

"Just ignore, just ignore it." the middle child calmed his mind, and walked out of the bathroom, letting Leni pass, desperate to fix her hair.

"Four minutes, guys! I have a History test at seven. So if you don't want to walk to school, hurry up" Lori cried from downstairs, with the same threat as usual.

Lincoln opted for a piece of toast as breakfast. One by one, his sisters went outside, when he was going out, he couldn't help it, he didn't want to, but he looked at that piece of furniture.

The Loud trophy showcase.

Lincoln saw every trophy that his sisters had won, all deserved in their respective specialties. And in his part. A little five-dollar award, to the best developing brother, at least there was something there. However, with the passing of time it had lost all its meaning, it was like looking at a consolation prize, he hadn't won anything.

Lincoln tries to avoid seeing the showcase every time he passed, he even tried asking his parents to take it down, an idea to be ruled out almost immediately.

The showcase was an inspiration for the Loud family, of continuing to improve and see their accomplishments. To him, it was a sign of pressure, the shadow of the family. Seeing their successes from behind, and when he discovered Lily won a trophy for sucking her finger, well, the pressure only increased.

The Louds were know in Royal Woods for their noisy life. Although, no one denied the great talent the family had in several areas, being the exception to the rule frustrated him a lot.

"Tick tock Lincoln, tick tock."

"Lincoln! If you don't have your butt in vanzilla in the next ten seconds, I will literally leave without you, and you'll have to walk to school."

"Wait, Lori!" Lincoln grabbed some coins and put them in his pocket, running to get in Vanzilla in time.

Why did he grab coins? They have their purpose, and it's not for buying lunch.

The school was the same as usual, boring stuff, the same old food in the cafeteria, chatting with his friends about an Ace Savvy comic, manga series, and the new chapter of Arghh. The worst part, holding his breath in the toilet, courtesy of Chandler.

Now that Ronnie Anne wasn't here to defend him, he was on his own, embarrassed to ask Lynn or someone else for help. He had to endure these abuses, always against answering abuse with violence.

"Brother, are you sure you don't want to talk to the principal about Chandler?" asked Clyde, his best friend, his brother from another family. Although he suffered the same abuse, it seems Chandler had some preference for bullying Lincoln in the last few days.

"No Clyde, remember the principal wants evidence to punish him. Also, his rich parents will manage to reach an agreement for a two-day suspension, and when he returns, everything will be worse, remember Cameron Anderson?" a shiver ran down both boys back. Cameron dared to accuse Chandler to the principal, and when the abuser returned from the one-day suspension, the humiliation he suffered came to a degree that he had to change schools.

"I understand, but—"

"It's fine Clyde, as long as I let myself be bullied, nothing more serious will happen, just pray he gets bored of me" interrupted the white-haired child with a forced smile.

Both heard a car horn in the distance, Clyde's parents had come, ready to pick him up.

"Dang it, I want to see Lori, to admire how her blonde hair moves with the wind" Clyde was still in love with his oldest sister. Though the work with Dr. Lopez had managed to stop the nosebleeds when Clyde saw her, he still had a lot of work to do.

"I'll have to wait for another time, see you tomorrow brother" they separated with their secret greeting.

Lincoln saw how Clyde was happy with his family, could never deny how many times he thinks how beautiful it would be to be an only child, with all the advantages involved.

"Ah, at least I have a person who supports me" Clyde still didn't know about his current situation, although he had come to a decision. If he had another change like last time, he would tell him everything.

"Hello Lincoln" a voice made him jump, but not like when Lucy appeared from behind out of nowhere, but one that made him nervous.

"H-Hi Paige, what's up?" Paige Rivers, his recent new friend, and the girl he still had kind of a crush for.

"Just want to confirm you're still coming to the arcade on Friday afternoon, I need a partner to break the record for couples in the dance game, and you're the best player I know to help me with the challenge" Paige said, smiling, which made Lincoln more nervous, thank god he was able to maintain control.

"Sure, everything's still on, Friday at four o'clock, we go for that record" Lincoln answered with a confident voice.

"Thank you Lincoln, it's good to have a playmate with skill. I owe you one, see you there" Paige ran down the hallway.

On the other hand, Lincoln made his way to the back of the school, making sure nobody saw him, once sure of this, he let out an exhale of relief.

"Yes, I managed to form a friendship with Paige, now that Ronnie Anne is not in town, I needed a new playmate. Just want to clarify it's not a date, it's a challenge we both agreed to do," he said to nothing again, drawing his thoughts.

He could play with Clyde and his others friends, but Paige had more skill. She was even better than him.

It was normal to try to socialize with new people, at least he was distracted from his problems.

Love, something that a child about to turn twelve would typically not care about, but there he was, already troubled in this field.

His relationship with Ronnie Anne was complicated. Yes, he kissed her on the lips, and don't get him wrong, it was something incredible.

However, they both opted to stay as best friends. Especially now that she had moved to the city, and they didn't want a bad relationship to break their friendship, you know, the typical fear of taking the next step.

Cristina and Cookie had not changed too much. Cristina almost always avoided him, for the videos fiasco, occasionally greeted him for education, but didn't pass from there. And Cookie was just like his cookie taster, ordinary conversations, they were just friends.

What was bothering Lincoln on the issue was that his sisters, to highlight Lori, began to ship him with Ronnie Anne, so he avoided going out with his female friends, or bringing them to the house.

After Paige came to his house for Biology homework, he received a reminder of how he had to be faithful to his girlfriend, even though he has repeated over and over again Ronnie Anne is not his girlfriend.

Do you know how depressing it is for your sisters to force you to date a girl? Without having the right to choose, it's horrible.

"I'm jealous, not even twelve and you're a lady killer, maybe it's because you spend most of the time surrounded by girls, and know how to deal with them."

After clarifying the situation to himself, Lincoln walked to his new favorite place, a small tree house on the edge of a wooded area. Only half an hour walking distance from home, ideal for resting.

Lincoln took out his cell phone, to make sure there were no problems or misunderstandings with his absence at home.

Lori, I'm going to Rusty's house to do a geography project, don't wait for me at school, see you at home – Lincoln. 2:37 PM

Fine twerp, be home before it gets dark, or you'll be a human pretzel - Lori. 3:01 PM

He knows to lie is wrong, but he has no other choice, Lincoln needed his space to relax, something that inside the Loud house he couldn't do.

"I discovered this place the other day, I've stayed here at least three hours every day to help me maintain my mental stability, I owe so much to this old three house" Lincoln commented to anyone, feeling the need to explain everything.

"God bless you, good luck...hehe...luck, still have fun memories of those days."

Inside the tree house, there wasn't much, some scattered water bottles, fried bags, a small rug he took from the attic, an improvised table with a wooden board and old books, on top of that, papers with sketches and written notes.

Lincoln had found a way to relax in drawing, since the comic contest. He decided to improve his drawing skills, creating his own characters, he's never shown his work to anyone, not even Clyde, for fear of criticism.

The reason for doing it here is apparent, if his sisters see his drawings, they would surely mock how bad his drawings are, and if that happens, his secret could come to light.

After drawing for forty minutes, he still had to improve in the structure of the bodies, but the faces had significant improvements. Doing the drawings in both American comics and manga styles. However, another puncture in the chest stopped Lincoln in the middle of a drawing.

"Calm, calm, enough for today" he whispered to calm down. Sitting on the edge of the door and looking out at nature, breathing quietly, sadly, the sensation expanded to his arm and throat.

"Enough!" in a startup of frustration, Lincoln hurt his knuckles on his left hand by hitting the wooden wall, scratches and slight lines of blood appeared.

"Shit...Eh?" he noticed something peculiar, the feeling was gone.

His knuckles ached, still felt uncomfortable, but the sensations that frightened him had gone.

"Could it be?" he quickly shook his head, absolutely not, he would never fall so low as to reach those limits.

"Glad you have some logic there, would be bad if you considered hurting yourself, at least you know at this point, your sisters are not the main cause of your pain."

Lincoln sat down to look at the emptiness, hugging his legs, thinking, allowing itself to be carried inside his thoughts. If the plan to hide his state failed, he had to shuffle his options of trust.

Besides Clyde, for now, he only had Luna and Lucy. Both sisters had a strong bond with him, there was also Lana and Lily, but Lana was too young to understand, not to mention Lily being a baby.

Lori, Lynn, and Lola, hell no. They would make fun of him for being weak, for not being a man, cruel as ever.

Leni wouldn't understand, her innocence and limited IQ are a big problem, it was a coin in the air on how Luan would take it, and Lisa would most likely use him as a guinea pig to study about anxiety. About his parents, he didn't want to think about it.

The sound of his cell took Lincoln out of his trance, seeing the phone screen, he saw that it was Luna who was calling him. He pressed the green button and switched it to speaker mode.

"Hey Luna"

"Bro! Are you coming back home? Lori and Leni have been trying to call you for an hour, but you didn't answer, we thought something had happened to you" her voice sounded worried, wish he could believe his sisters were concerned for him, he really did.

"Of course, you blocked Lori´s number when you're here, and since Leni forgot to give you her new cell phone number...I wonder who she calls."

"Sorry, left the phone in silent mode, we needed to concentrate on the work, but I'm on the way, give me twenty minutes" Lincoln replied with a calm tone, realizing it was already late, the sun was on the horizon.

"Ok, we're waiting for you."

"Ok, see you in—"

"...Lincoln?"

"Something happen, Luna?"

"Nothing...just remember I love you with all my heart. If you need help with something, anything, you can come to me any time to talk."

"...I know... " he hung up the call, without leaving a chance for her to answer.

Luna would have noticed a change in his attitude. Lincoln was not the best actor in the world, at least he managed not to raise suspicion for almost three months.

"I am interested in your next move. Your plans always are entertaining"

Lincoln walked to his house, knowing what awaited him, he mentalized all possible scenarios, from the most optimistic to the worst.

Once he is at the corner of the house, about thirty steps away from the door, he felt frightened again. Lincoln hugged himself.

I didn't want to. I didn't want to. I didn't want to.

The anger caused by those past situations with his sisters, with his family, was transformed into fear, then came back in a dangerous combination.

Lincoln Loud was afraid

Lincoln Loud was terrified

He had to overcome this alone, had to prove to himself, to that voice, he is strong. It's his problem, his final test.

Lincoln had to endure Lori´s abuse, had to endure modeling Leni's dresses, had to endure Luna´s rock practice, had to endure Luan´s pranks, had to endure Lynn's physical sport practices, had to endure Lucy´s questions, had to endure Lana´s exotic pets, had to endure Lola's whims, had to endure Lisa's experiments, had to endure Lily's cries, and had to endure his parents.

The white-haired kid bit his arm, calming his emotions, ready to put back that mask of happiness and charismatic attitude that defined him.

He was afraid of his own emotions. How much time should I go on like this? A bad situation could cause his mind to explode.

"This will be fun."

Lincoln ignored the voice in his head, sure, this is a clear example he is losing his mind, also with the fact he knew someone was following him the past three days.

The mask is cracking and could break at any second. How much time will pass before that happens?

When Lincoln enters his house, pretending to be his old self, a phrase passes through his mind.

"I'm going to snap."

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I know the start follow the same "tragic Lincoln" theme, but I wanna try something a little different, hope this fic is different from the rest. You decided if you want to continue or not.