She'd been sitting in this bed for an hour now. Idly, she wondered when he would come back. Setting her book aside she looked out of the window. It was getting dark outside, she felt it was time for lunch. But her musings were stopped when her sensitive ears picked up the coming storm that brewed, or better yet, marched through the hallways.

"Oh fuck no..." Sighing, she braced herself for what could only be the longest evening in her life. Damn being bedridden!

The door was kicked off it's hinges and smashed hard into the white tile floor of the hospital room, followed by a startled scream form the doctor outside and the man who had put her in here in the first place.

Hm, expected something else...

"Tayuya!" he wheezed, looking as if he had sprinted all the way from Suna to Konoha. Which was, Tayuya mused, entirely possible, given that that's where he was supposed to be at the moment.

She waved lamely at him. "Hey there, lover boy. What brings you here?"

"What? I-... You-... Hospital!" he shouted and almost jumped onto the bed when he came to her side.

Tayuya laughed. "And whose fault is it I'm here?" she asked, barely containing her wide smile.

"How are you? Anything hurt? Did Sakura hit you again?" he asked, rapid firing his questions. "I swear to kami, if she hit you I will exile her flat ass!"

"Calm down!" she laughed, "I'm fine, just fat."

"You are pregnant, not fat, Tayu," he said with a sigh.

"Isn't that the same thing?"

He groaned and buried his face in the mattress right next to her. Tayuya ran her hand though his short blonde hair. Gods, why was it so soft? "How long do you have?" he asked, his voice muffled through the mattress.

"I'm going to die in three hours."

He turned his head and glared at her, though she could catch the glimmer of honest fear on his eyes. "Ha. Ha."

She flicked his forehead. "Start asking the right questions, daddy-to-be-in-about-a-day."

"A day!?" he exclaimed, jumping almost up to the ceiling. "The nursery isn't even-! I need to buy diapers!"

Tayuya laughed and pulled him back onto the mattress, bringing his head gently to rest on her heavily pregnant belly. He stilled immediately. "It's fine, the scarecrow and Tsunade got everything arranged."

He didn't say anything, obviously intent on hearing something from his little spawn. He smiled suddenly and Tayuya knew why, he had felt the little one kick. "She kicked!" he said giggling like a child.

"Yeah, she's gonna do that for the rest of your life, lover boy," she said, rolling her eyes.

He smiled so widely at her, it must have hurt. "I know!" he said excitedly, "And I'll love her all the more for it."

The look in his eyes made her smile as well and suddenly she felt like crying. Goddammit, these fucking hormones! "Get over here, lover boy!" she ordered, pulling him up so he would lay down at her side. She tried not to move too much and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He gently drew circles on her stomach and she tied not to sob. Eventually a sniffling noise escaped her and he immediately stopped.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his and gently cupping her cheek.

She sobbed loudly this time. "Of course!" she chocked out, wiping her eyes in his neck, "It's just... the damn hormones! I am too fucking happy, it makes me cry!" She sniffed. "Bullshit!"

Naruto laughed quietly. "Then I'm glad."

And she sobbed again. "God, fuck you! Stop making me cry! It's stupid!"

He laughed, deeply laced with content before kissing the top of her head. "I love you, Tayuya," he whispered.

She slapped his arm, well, the half that remained. "I told you to-" Her voice cracked and she mewled. "Fuck! Gods! I-" Tayuya pulled back so she could look him in the eyes. "I love you, you stupid idiot, now stop making me cry or I will throw you out of the room!"

He kissed her, Tayuya cried even more, but she never threw him out of the room anyways.

"Momma!"

"Mum!"

"Mama!"

"Ma'!"

It could have been such a nice morning, Tayuya mused grumpily, but she just had to have children. Four of them, no less! Why did she let that happen again? Right, her husband was a horny, over-fertile, sex god. That was all nice and good but after the third child the cons had evened with the pros and the forth had just tipped the balance in their adorable favor. Groaning and still half asleep Tayuya rolled over in bed and groped for the second pillow that was supposed to be somewhere in front of her (or under her dumbass of a husband's head) until she found it and quickly pulled it over her own head.

Judging by the startled breath coming from besides her, it had evidently been underneath Naruto's head.

"Wha-?" he mumbled, dazedly. Tayuya cracked an eye open to watch him fumble with the mattress underneath his head as if the pillow had somehow been sucked into it.

"Daddy!" all four of them crowed once they realized their dad was awake.

Tayuya was rudely startled out of her satisfied dozing over having shifted the brats' attention to her unfortunate husband when the mattress dipped low right behind her, forcing her body to roll onto her back.

"Dammit!" she hissed when a sun ray hit her face. "Why are you flunkies even awake?" she huffed at her brood, covering her eyes with both of her forearms.

"Dammit mommy!" her oldest huffed from where the mattress had dipped. "You promised us strawberry pancakes!" The girl was like the perfect blend of her and Naruto, though her hair were a red so deep and intense it put the thickest of blood to shame. Now if only she weren't such a glutton with just barely nine years... Bet ya she reminded them of the pancake thing!

"Yeah! Pancakes! PANCAKES!" The hardcore enthusiasm belonged to the second, seven year old daughter, who had either inherited Naruto's boundless energy or simply came to be the opposite of her lack of motivation for most things (aside from making babies, apparently). Then again, she had Naruto's blonde hair, so it was most definitely his fault.

"I want chocolate." As deadpan as a five year old could possibly be her third daughter seemed to decisively pout at the entirety of all existing things. Aside from chocolate, of course. A bit timid, perhaps, but woe betide thou if a cat got close enough to be petted... Now they had three cats and wouldn't dare claim one had run away. Kurama was sufficiently annoyed to share his food.

"Da!" it came from right sides her. The youngest was just two years old and so so very adorably that Tayuya could not bring herself to ever be too far from the tiny redhead with the shiny blue eyes.

She was just about to cave in and lift tiny baby Haku up onto the bed when Naruto shifted to reach over her, nicely pressing against the entire length of her back. With the way her heartbeat hummed for his touch, Tayuya wouldn't be surprised to have a fifth child... Maybe a boy at last...

Baby Haku was lifted over her head and Tayuya took the opportunity to capture Haku's feet, producing some overbearing mock growl while she tickled them a bit.

The girl shrieked loudly, laughing and babbling. "Naah!" she squeaked. "Da sav' me!"

The other girls joined the fray, trying to save their baby sister from the red monster's clutches, which merely amounted to all of them smothering Tayuya with their weight, basically burying her in red and a bit of blonde.

"I give, I give!" she laughed, blowing a strand of blonde hair out of her mouth. "Off me you brats!"

"Hey!" Naruto injected, pushing the red hair of their eldest, Hinori, out of Tayuya's face, his sparkling blue eyes meeting her violet ones. She smiled up at him, not even able to scowl playfully at him. He grinned. "Leave some for me!"

"EEEEW!" the three older girls made once he had leaned down to kiss her. Haku merely gurgled excitedly from somewhere in Naruto's lap.

"Mom. Pancakes. You promised, you know?" Straight to the point was just Fukai's thing, even if she was just five, and Tayuya blamed the entirety of that on the one time they had Kakashi babysit her. And now they had a hard-ass daughter and Haku shortly (nine months exactly) thereafter. But Tayuya couldn't, for the life of her, count that as a loss. She just lorded her wonderful spawns all over Sakura's measly twins.

Tayuya didn't let Naruto pull back when he tried, she let the kiss last, long enough to make her second daughter's, Tsukuyo's, (who had been named after Karin's mother) terribly nonexistent patience slip. "Moomm!" she bemoaned loudly. "I. Want! PANCAKES!"

"Quiet," Hinori shushed her little sister, "Maybe they get out of bed once they stopped eating face!"

The blonde girl pouted. "Just 'cause uncle Kashi' told you that, don' mean it works..."

That stopped Tayuya short. She pushed Naruto up, who grinned down on her like an idiot, and tried her hardest to look intimidated, freshly snogged and buried underneath her own children. Still, Hinori and Tsukuyo were sufficiently cowed by the stare.

"The odd uncle told you what?" she asked, trying to ignore baby Haku as she ambled from Naruto's lap onto her chest.

"Uhm, I mean..." Hinori, despite being the oldest, was probably the worst liar of them all. Even the baby managed to look convincing, even if she had eaten the cookies.

"Nothing!" Tsukuyo chirped, grinning like the biggest ditz out there. "He didn't tell us you'd need a lot of kisses and licks to be distracted enough to-!"

The blonde girl was promptly shut up by Fukai's flat hand. "Tsu! No rambling!"

Tayuya let her head fall back into the pillow. Damn that cyclops! "Never!" she said aloud. "That silver haired perv won't get near my daughters again!"

Naruto rested his head on the pillow besides her, idly toying with Haku's red hair, which she found far too interesting and therefore stopped trying to tear off Tayuya's shirt. "You know, it was you idea to-"

"You agreed!" she interrupted, blowing a bit of air into his eye. "And now look at us! Four of them!"

Pushing his head against hers, Naruto hummed lowly. "I didn't hear you complain."

"Are you trying to have even more children?" she asked incredulously.

He shrugged, propping himself up on whatever remained of his left arm, waggling his eyebrows at her. "Wouldn't dare."

Tayuya glared half halfheartedly at him before huffing. She sat up, cradling little Haku to her chest. "Fine," she said, "Pancakes with Strawberries-"

"And chocolate," Fukai injected evenly, slipping off the bed.

"-and chocolate, yes," Tayuya added, rolling her eyes and slipping off the bed herself. "Then we get Kakashi and beat his ass. After that..." She slipped off the bed, the shirt she wore just barely covering her behind. "... we'll see about what you'd dare or not, luv." She threw him a smoldering gaze over her shoulder. "And I dare you a boy."

Tayuya sashayed her way out of the bedroom, dragging her brood with her, and was pleased to note that it took Naruto almost five full minutes to follow them.

A/N: I'd be content with ending it here but if you want more epilogue fluff, let me know. Story will still be marked as complete, though. :3