He loves it.

He loves every second of it.

He craves it.

Her soft voice as she whispers to his ear in her signature, tender tone.

Every single inch of her body, the way her small but firm hands move slowly against his skin in delicate patterns, in such a caring way that makes him feel wanted.

Makes him feel loved.

He felt ashamed at first. The first time they tried this, they didn't even go all the way.

''Just…why are we even doing this?''

His whisper was half-hearted, to himself, but it was heard by her.

She realizes suddenly, the absurdity of their situation. She feels a sudden surge of embarrassment and makes her best efforts to cover her body with the mattress as she sits on the bed, with him in front of her staring down back at her.

He laughs a bit, a bitter laugh she deduces, and walks to the other side of the room.

They reserved one of the fancier rooms of the hotel, a tall building ten stories tall, with a beautiful view of the Chiba skyline. It's not like they had a lot of money, but they made just enough, and for the benefit of the occasion, they wanted the night to be special.

But what does a one-night stand have to do with something special?

He stares out the window.

It's just stupid.

''You know,'' he starts but stops abruptly. Some seconds pass, followed by his voice again.

A voice so soft and calm she has grown to love in the three years they have been working together.

''I'm sorry for this. I really am. I guess this was a really stupid decision of mine.''

Her heart clenches a bit because he always blames himself for everything.

He continues, ''Some part of mine believed this is what I needed. But you what? I only feel…dirty.''

She can't bear it anymore. So, she stands, grabs a towel, wraps it around her naked body, and walks towards him.

''You know,'' she starts as one of her hands touch his bare back, an action that makes him flinch, and she smiles softly.

''It wasn't only your idea, you know. You need to always stop blaming yourself,'' she whispers.

''Well,'' he mocks, not leaning away from her touch. ''If I recall, I was the one who came up with the idea.''

She laughs softly, a laugh that he loves so much. It's just such a genuine laugh, one that stood out against all the fake laughs he has heard in his thirty-two years of life.

''I guess you're right, but hey, I was the one who eagerly accepted it, wasn't I?''

She can see a small smile thanks to his reflection against the glass. Every time she made him smile, she felt a strong sense of warmness in her chest because she knew he did so no more than ten or fifteen times a year.

And so, they did nothing that night, because it wasn't the time. Instead, they drank some wine, lied down just there on the floor, admiring the beautiful sight of the city, talking their worries away.

When it happened, they both laughed.

''What are you implying?''

''You heard me,'' his whisper is almost inaudible, but she is already used to those, and her ears are more than prepared.

''You…you don't want to see me again,'' she almost whimpers.

''I like you. And experience has told me that's a bad sign.''

They are currently at his apartment. He called her out of the blue, something that made her feel happy because she was tired of the loneliness she felt at her home.

She's supposed to feel fluttered, happy even. But she only feels sadness and a bit of despair. Years and years of regret and failed relationships come crashing back at her.

''I…then why are yo-''

''Because it will fail,'' his voice raises a bit, and his fists are clenched. She's unable to deduce his face, as his bangs make a good work at covering it.

''It will fail, and then, we will part on bad terms. It's always like that. And I can't allow it. Not with you,'' his voice is almost desperate.

Her body trembles and she finds herself unable to control her feelings.

''Hachiman, please, just don't do this to us. I…just don't…please,'' she whispers. Tentatively, she closes the distance between both. With her hand, she delicately removes the bangs from his face and she's able to look at him at the eyes for the first time.

Those dead fish eyes.

Physical contact was something they did often, as it was something they both craved a lot. It was so calming and relaxing, and neither said no to the other when one needed it.

Her hand travels to his cheek, and he leans into her touch.

''These…things,'' he whispers softly, and they glance at each other, her hand softly caressing his cheek. ''They just… don't work with me. The dates, the outings, I have failed so many times that I just don't want to try again.''

''Then skip it. All the fancy shit. Let's just skip all of that. Those are just rules imposed on us. We don't have to follow them,'' she whispers. ''Hachiman, please, don't do this to us. We have something. You're my friend, my only friend, and I'd be more than happy to be more than that.''

He seems to reconsider, and she can't tell what's about to happen next.

So, before he can do anything else, she silences him with a kiss.

And that was it. Rough and silly kisses were shared, clothes were thrown around the living room and the hallway, and screams of passion were heard from the master bedroom.

And then, after their bodies trembled from the ecstasy of their orgasm, it was over.

He laughed. He laughed like he never did in his life. And she followed him too, either because of the finality of it all, or the fact that they accomplished something they thought was unreachable.

They realized that night, how lucky they were.