Not a DumbArse Rizer Phenix Si

I'll tell you something for free, dying sucks. Like I would literally be doing anything else other then bleeding out on the ground like I am right now, the panicked face of my would be murderer above, panicked tears streaking down her face as she tried, rather uselessly to keep my insides from becoming my outsides.

My death was a culmination of a few days of horrible mistakes, first, I had lost my temper at work, screaming at my boss when she had utterly failed to inform me of a number of points, things that needed to be double checked, and presentations that needed to be made. As a result of the boss passing the buck and flat out lying to her own bosses face, I had to fire five members of my ten person team.

I had not been particularly happy about that. Like at all.

That would have been bad enough, but through some weird coincidences over the next week, we kept bumping into each other, the first time was bad enough, but for the sixth time in a week? That was a little much. Although I probably didn't help by making a creepy joke about stalking her the sixth time we met.

The seventh, and final time I ran into her was when I was in a cafe working on a way to hire some of my teem members back, I had been looking for clients or loopholes in already existing contracts like mad, and I had finally found one, a tiny loophole that allowed for the extension of contracts, providing just enough revenue to hire back my team. I looked up, and by some miracle, there was my boss walking outside the cafe window.

I frantically shoved all my work into my bag and grabbed my phone. Now, I admit I'm a nerd, my phone case was made out of a graphene/teflon fiber combination that supposedly makes it bulletproof, but also is a shiny black color, and a little reflective like a well oiled gun. So when I rushed out and called out to my boss, she understandably panicked, and when I followed her, she understandably ducked into a side alley to try and get away.

What was far less understandable was when she stabbed me five times in the chest and gut as soon as I turned the corner.

And the knife she stabbed me with was damn big too, like Rambo big. Not something I really expected by shy stuttering boss to be toting around in her handbag. I'll admit, I took a ceartin amount of satisfaction as she saw that rather then a weapon, all I had on me was a phone open to a PDF of the contract with the parts I had been researching highlighted, her face paled and she immediately began stuttering apology after tear-filled apology.

I looked at her as I absentmindedly felt one of my lungs collapse. I knew I was going to die, and I had to options in front of me while I still had the breath for it. Either forgive her, or curse her, cause I sure as hell wasn't going to break down crying like a little Bit%h.

But as I looked up at her face, I realized, I didn't want to curse her, it wouldn't help me, and you know murdering me aside, she was a rather nice lady.

But I sure as hell wasn't just going to forgive her for stabbing me five. Goddamn times!

So instead I decided to just close my eyes, ignore my murderer, still screaming in my ear, and breath my last breath.

Scene Break

And then I opened my eyes and screamed!

Holy shit! Everything hurt! It felt like I had had just been squeezed out of a damn ketchup bottle! One of the those glass ones too, the ones you basically have to break or shove a fork up its mouth to actually get the ketchup from.

And then I heard 10 horrific words.

"Lord and Lady Phoenix, congratulations! Its a healthy baby boy."

No no no, no no, no no no no no.

Hell to the fuck no.

End of Chapter one

So, I was reading a Devil high school fan fiction recently, (not sure what the English translation for the name is so Im'a just call it Devil high school.) And the one thing that stood out to me, is I alway see Rizer portrayed as an ass-hole. Think about it this way, Rias was refusing to carry out a contract that was instated before she was born in the last days of the great devil war, (so like 50-75 years ago), rather then I don't know, marrying and then filling the last bits of her peerage with people she could actually stand sleeping with? Instead she spits on the ideals of a race on the verge of extinction, on the honor of an important clan, and basically does the equivalent of marrying the handicapped homeless boy from behind the corner store.

(Sorry, but always hated how goddam perverted Issei is)