Everything Wrong With
No Such Luck!
Spoilers!
(duh I know you are already expert at this episode)
(Loud house intro)
1 minute of intro. - 1
(Title card appears, No Such Luck)
Using word Luck. I just hate luck personally, and with all those times I lost dice game. - 2
Lori: Hey, you guys! Don't forget my golf tournament's this afternoon!
Why do you tell this right in this morning? What if someone already got another appointment? - 3
Oh yeah I forgot, families except Lincoln didn't have friends till this episode. - 3
Lori: You're all going to be there to support me, right?
(everyone cheers)
Imagine what would happen if your 10 younger sisters play and mess on the golf field, as well as your golf game. - 4
Lola: And after that, you're all coming to my charity fashion show, right?
(everyone cheers again)
Golf field is pretty far... So you're immediately going to fashion show after sweating a shit off in the sunlight? - 5
Also, that two event somehow doesn't overlap, like a miracle. - 6
And why you have to hold beauty pageant for charity? I'm starting to think that that's no good charity. - 7
Lucy: And after that, don't forget my grave-digging competition.
Is that really a feature? - 8
And what's that for? I think Lynn and Lana will do it better since it's just digging. Or are they really using corpse? - 9
Looks like I unlocked a lot of things with NSL AU fanfics by digging this plain start scene. - 10
(everyone cheers, while Lincoln just crawls under the table and escapes)
Lily: Inkin'!
Nobody notices. Even it's a rare case of Lily speaking a word. - 11
Also how did she know he was there? Does she have ultimate hearing or something? - 12
Lincoln: Shh!
(he notices Lily's bottle on the fridge, and puts her in Lana's skateboard, making her arrive right in front of the fridge and the bottle drops. Lincoln catches the chance and runs to the living room)
Oh no, I have to stop you right here... how does he look up? Because everytime when I tried to do it I hit my head on the table. - 13
And a magical skateboard that makes no noise! - 14
Wait, who rides skateboard in this house? - 15
And it was breakfast and no one was feeding Lily! - 16
Lincoln: (to the viewers) I know what you're thinking. "Lincoln, why are you running away from your sisters" activities?"
It became season 2, Lincoln. You're not the only protagonist anymore. - 17
And also, no one hears this? - 18
Lincoln: Well, you don't know my life.
We watched whole season focused on you. And there's still thing to make you look like more miserable? - 19
(cuts to a calendar, which shows days full of schedule)
Lincoln: With ten sisters, my calendar's booked everyday with stuff. I'm supposed to go to rodeos, pageants, open mic nights... once in a while, a guy just needs some time to himself.
Seriously, everyday? Oh I'm starting to have pity. Let's remove a sin for this poor boy. - 18
But wait, if there's that much schedule, you can just have meeting, cause everyone would be tired as well! Suck it, man with a plan! - 19
(suddenly, Lynn pops in front of him)
Lynn: Hey, Lincoln! You're coming to my softball game today, right?
So golf tournament, digging and pageant is cancelled? Or they're going to all 4 places?! - 20
And why no one also hears this and comes to ask him again? - 21
Lincoln: Dang it. Should've done a head count.
He didn't learn by Left in the Dark at all. - 22
Lincoln: Actually, Lynn, I've got some important business to attend to. Like Ace Savvy VS the Card Shark.
Really good excuse to someone who doesn't like nerdish stuffs at all. - 23
Lynn: Lame. My team has won our last six games, and you're the only member of this family who hasn't come out to support me.
Impossible! Only Ronnie Anne can say lame to Lincoln! - 24
Also she did head counting? Wow, that's actually smarter than Lincoln! - 25
Lincoln: That's because I was supporting six other sisters at their things. Sorry, Lynn, I just can't do it today.
Lynn: (holds her bat, like threatening) Sure you won't reconsider?
That gives prejudice to athletes. - 26
And Lincoln you're not caught in this situation only once. You were in the house with like 3 extreme sisters and you never thought of escaping physical harm? - 28
(His familes and Bobby are in the bleachers, and Lincoln is not that happy)
Mascot: Let's do this!
Just a teenage team of softball have mascot? Who the hell would volunteer to do it? - 29
Announcer: Well, it's a beautiful day at the park. Isn't it, Pep?
Pep: (unenergetic) Oh, sure it is.
Announcer: It's the bottom of the ninth with the Royal Woods Squirrels up 3-nothing. Could this be another shoutout for star pitcher Lynn Loud?
Wait, ninth? But the announcer's saying like it was on first! - 30
(the crowd cheers, and Lynn waves her hand to her family)
(Then she does her ritual, lifts her leg, turns her cap, tosses some dirt on her right shoulder and pats her right cheek)
Lynn must have tried many pose, so now she's doing all poses that she believes to bring good luck. Or, she's just paranoid. - 31
Also no one ever thought of distracting her ritual? Don't you know the 'mental attack' strategy? - 32
Lynn: (does cossack dance) Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut!
Someone take her to TF2 mercenaries. - 33
Announcer: Hey, Pep, you believe there's anything to these kinds of superstitions?
Pep: I don't know.
Announcer: Well, here's the windup and the pitch.
(Lynn throws the ball, but the oppositing batter slams it out of the park)
Last round cliche. Enough said. - 34
Announcer: Ooh! Looks like the softball gods did not love that Cossack dance.
(And the other team hits 3 more times, beating Lynn's team)
And another cliche. This is not a problem to blame Lincoln's bad luck, but a problem to find out how they got good luck. - 35
(Lynn is looking down, due to losing the game)
Lincoln: Hey sis. I'm really sorry you lost.
(Lynn yelps and hides behind the dumpster)
Lincoln: Hey.
Lynn: (holding rotten banana peel) Stay back! You are bad luck! (throws peel at Lincoln)
Ok ok. Calm down fanfictioners. So I'm adding 7 sins for this, because if I don't do that I might be bullied by the whole Loud House community. - 42
Lincoln: What are you talking about?
Lynn: My team has been dominating all season, then the one time you show up, we lose!
I experienced this a lot of times before. When I show up, everything strangely screws up. And Lynn you didn't experienced it for this time? Or it simply means she was good luck enough. - 43
Also discount Murphy's Law. - 44
Lincoln: That's ridiculous. I'm not bad luck.
Lynn: Yeah-huh, you are! Which is why I'm banning you from all future games. Now scram! I have to make things right with the softball gods. (does cossack dance again)
Animators really love cossak dance. - 45
(Back in the house)
Leni: Lincoln! Are you coming to my charity fashion show? It's for a great cause: oysters without pearls.
Lynn: Leni! No! He'll ruin your fashion show just like he ruined my winning streak! HE'S BAD LUCK!
'Our' fashion show. Weren't you selfish, Lynn? Just make sure he don't go to 'yours'. - 46
Lincoln: Oh, come on, Lynn! That is absolutely... (gets an idea) ...true. (to the viewers) I think I may be onto something here. (to leni) Leni, I'd love to go to your fashion show, but I'd hate for my bad luck to make you trip, or jam a zipper, or break a heel...
Leni: Horror! Maybe you should sit this one out.
Lincoln: I'll be there in spirit.
Wait, isn't it his spirit that causes bad luck? - 47
Lana: Hey, Linc, you coming to my alligator-wrestling match?
That match doesn't have age constraint? Where's child protectment law? - 48
Leni: (pulls Lana, paranoid) Don't invite Lincoln! He could make your alligator trip, or jam its zipper, or break a heel!
Lana: what?
Leni: He's bad luck.
Lincoln: (feigning) I can't deny it.
Of course you can't. - 49
(Cuts to Lola)
Lincoln: Sure, Lola. I'll come to your pageant. I just hope my bad luck doesn't make your hair go flat.
He was waiting to say this? - 50
(to Luan)
Lincoln: I'd love to attend your performance. I'm just afraid my bad luck might cause a clown car collision.
They have a clown car? I've never seen one driving in actual circus. - 51
Lincoln: Oh, Lily, I sure would like to come to your play date, but I'd hate for my bad luck to cause a boo-boo.
Lincoln, Lily can't ask you to come, you can just ignore her. So... why did you do that? - 52
Lisa: Pshaw. There's no such thing as bad luck. There's only science. All else is hooey.
Roll-credits. - 53
Lori: Lisa literally has a point. You're coming to my tournament, Lincoln. This family supports each other.
Lincoln: You're right. I'm being silly. Let me get those for ya. (gets Lori's golf club) whoa whoa whoa! (trips over to the bathroom, and many crashing sound could be heard; comes out with a club dented)
Lori: My sand wedge! You are bad luck! You are literally uninvited to my tournament.
Nobody catches his intended action? - 54
Lisa: I retract my earlier statement. BACK, YE CURSED WRETCH! And don't even think about attending my lecture series on thermodynamics!
One proof-done. Without any re-checking. I doubt she has ever written a proper thesis. - 55
Lincoln: (looking at their family leaving) (sarcastically) sorry to miss it all!
(slides back into house, he's wearing sunglasses and white clothes like a star)
Lincoln: Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky! Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky!
I've seen Lincoln doing a lot of shit by himself, but this is getting out of hand. One more episode and I guess the writers will make him look like real idiot. - 56
(reading comics in underwear in everywhere of the house) Tough break, Card Shark. Looks like Ace Savvy just called your bluff!
Someone can see you if you're outside of your house. - 57
Also he reads one book for that long period ? Switch place 5 times like he has some anxiety disorder? - 58
(The next day, Lincoln's breakfast is on the desk in front of TV)
Lincoln: What the? Why is my breakfast on the coffee table?
When did you started calling it coffee table? - 59
Rita: Oh, sorry, sweetheart, but would you mind eating breakfast in the living room today?
Lynn Sr: I've got a big presentation and your mother's got back-to-back root canal patients. We-we can't risk your bad luck spreading to us.
Lincoln: Just another perk of the bad luck life. Now I can play video games while I eat.
Wait, if he can play games, it means there's lots of free time, and it means it's Saturday or Sunday. They have presentation and big surgery in weekends? That job is bad. - 60
(cuts to night)
Rita: Come on, kids! The movie starts in half an hour!
Lincoln: Dibs on holding the popcorn!
Lynn Sr.: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast, son. I wish you could come, but with your bad luck, who knows what could go wrong?
Lola: The movie could sell out!
You are watching with 11 people, but don't mind anyone isolated like 10 seats away? Why didn't you buy tickets in advance? - 61
Luna: I could get stuck behind some lady with a beehive!"
Lisa: Someone could get scalded with molten butter!
Lynn Sr.: I didn't even think of that one! Sorry, kiddo.
Lincoln: Oh...no problem. You guys have fun.
Leni: Don't worry. I'll tell you how the movie ends.
"No Spoilers" Spoiler. - 62
Lincoln: Eh, what's missing one movie when it means having more awesome me time?
The show's too lazy to create movie names. - 63
Lincoln: (Not looking fun) Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky. Who's unlucky. I'm unlucky. Take that, Wild Card Willy. Ace Savvy just dealt you some justice.
(pulls out milk, but puts it back away)
(Later, he gets ready for the bed, but his door is boarded with hazard tape.)
Lincoln: (reads the note) Sorry, Lincoln, but you can't sleep here tonight, we can't just risk it? Are you kidding me?!
Why are they doing it now? I mean... they could have already done it right after they realized he was bad luck. Did they do some serious discussion about his luck in the movie? - 64
Everyone: No!
No. - 65
(Lincoln goes outside to Charles' home)
Lincoln: Hey, buddy, think I could bunk here for the night? (charles growls at him)Et tu, Charles?"
(he looks around to sleep. Next day, he was seen sleeping on a pile of leaves)
Where did all that leaves come from? I'm pretty sure there are few trees around his house... - 66
And with all that leaves it means it's fall, so with that shirt he must get at least hypothermia. But he didn't even get cold. - 67
(Lincoln shakes out acorns in his clothes, shoos the squirrel and goes to the back to back door)
I'm more sure that they didn't have acorn trees. - 68
Lincoln: Guys? I think you accidentally locked me out!
(while inside the house)
Rita:Kids, we've got a special treat for you! Since your father's presentation went so well...
Lynn Sr.: And your mother's root canals, too...
Rita: ...we thought we'd celebrate with a trip to the beach tomorrow.
Yay! Did that even exist on this show? - 69
(The sisters all cheer)
Lincoln: We're going to the beach tomorrow?
Lynn Sr.: Oh gosh. Sorry, son. Not you. Someone could get attacked by a shark.
Lynn: Or caught in a riptide.
Luna: Or Stung by a Jellyfish.
Lana: If that happens, I call peeing on the wound!
As you know... that's wrong way. - 70
Lincoln: Come on, guys! Be reasonable!
Lola: You're bad luck, Lincoln! You can't come!(shuts the door)
Lincoln: (to viewers)...I think I brought this on myself.
(Lincoln approaches the front yard with a megaphone)
Where'd and how'd he get it? Did they give him survival money so he could buy supplies? - 71
Lincoln: attention, the loud family! (fixes it) I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE!
(Everyone pops up at front window)
Wait but... Some of rooms are not connected to front window. So how could they all appear at the same time, even though some of them should walk into other room? - 72
Lincoln: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, I AM NOT BAD LUCK. I JUST LET YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT SO I COULD GET OUT OF GOING TO YOUR STUFF. IT WAS A REALLY SELFISH THING TO DO. WE ALL NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER. I'M REALLY SORRY.
Mr. Grouse: Nice confession, Loud!
Lynn: If you're not bad luck, then how come after I banned you, my team won our doubleheader, and now, we're going to the playoffs? Huh?
Mr. Grouse: She's got you there, Loud!
Lincoln: COULD YOU PLEASE JUST GO BACK INSIDE?
(Everyone agrees with Lynn)
Lynn Sr.: Sorry, buddy!
Rita: Sorry, honey!
(The family closes the curtains)
Alright again, I have to add 3 sins, due to some sort of 'peer pressure'. - 75
Lincoln: Ugh, Lynn and her superstitions! As long as she thinks I'm bad luck, I'm doomed. I have to find a way to prove her wrong. (Shakes out more acorns out of pants) Dang squirrel! Squirrel. Hmm...
(In the softball playoff, Bobby and the family are there to support her. There is a squirrel mascot)
Lola: What's with that squirrel today? His choreography is so dated."
Mascot:(familiar voice)Hey, man! You try dancing in this heat!
So where did the original mascot go? - 76
Lincoln: (in the suit) My plan is simple: I watch the game in disguise, and when the Squirrels win, everyone will see I'm not bad luck.
The answer is RNGod. This tells us an important lesson - luck does all. How convinient! - 77
(five minutes later)
Announcer: Talk about bad luck. Everything is going wrong with the Squirrels today. What do you think, Pep?
Pep: I think I've wasted my life.
Announcer: Just look at our poor squirrels!
Wait, they're rematching? Or not why do they have same announcers? - 78
(Lynn's team is losing miserably. The score is 3:0, with Lynn's team 0.)
Announcer: Two outs in the bottom of the ninth, and the bases are loaded. Lynn Loud steps up to the plate, but with the luck she's been having today, the Squirrels are looking a whole lot like roadkill.
Luna:Way harsh, dude!
(Lynn swings and misses)
Umpire: Strike one!
Lincoln: (scared) Lynn's right! I am bad luck!
(Lynn misses again)
Umpire: Strike two!
Lincoln: Maybe I can move into Lisa's fallout shelter. Lead walls will keep my bad luck from affecting anyone.
If that existed, why did you slept outside last night? - 79
Also it isn't seen for the rest of the episodes except a few. - 80
Baseball announcer: And the pitch! (Lynn hits the ball, and it flies far away)
Baseball announcer: It's going...it's going...IT'S GONE! LYNN LOUD HITS A GRAND SLAM! SQUIRRELS WIN! SQUIRRELS WIN!
(The families and Bobby cheer for Lynn)
(Lynn finishes her run and gets picked up by her family for celebration)
Families: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ROCKED IT, LYNN-SANITY!
(Lincoln in disguise joins them)
Lola: Um, do you mind, fur ball? This is a family moment.
Lincoln: Guys, it's me! (revealing his head) I was here the whole time! This proves it. I'm not bad luck.
Lynn: Oh my gosh, you're right. Wow, Lincoln, I'm really sorry.
(The rest of the family apologizes)
Rita: Sorry we sold all your furnitures.
Lincoln: Wait, what?
Gentlemen, you're witnessing 'how one carelessly written line can be taken as seriously as possible in a family show'. - 81
Also how can she sell all of it in a day? And Lincoln couldn't see her carrying his bed out? - 82
(On the beach)
Lincoln: Well, my family doesn't think I'm bad luck anymore. In fact, now they think I'm good luck.
Lola: Hey, Lincoln! (shouting) Put thehead back on before we get stung by a jellyfish!
(the test of the family is enjoying)
Lincoln: But unfortunately, only when I'm in the squirrel suit. (sighs in exasperation and puts head back)
So what lesson do we get here? Get some random dice god? beware your suit can steal all your fame? - 83
Also completely independent ending that has nothing to do with timeline. 'Loudest mission' hates this episode. - 84
Total Sins: 84
One Sentence: RNG
BONUS ROUND
multiply for the numbers of all fanfics using no such luck!
Fanfic search result: 87 fanfics (bruh smaller than I thought)
Total sins: 84 X 87 = 7308
BONUS ROUND 2
X2 for every time when word 'luck' is used in this episode!
Title card - 1
Lynn: You are bad Luck! - 2
Lincoln: I'm not bad luck. - 3
Lynn: He's bad luck! - 4
Lincoln: I just hope my bad luck doesn't make your hair go flat. - 5
Lincoln: I'm just afraid my bad luck might cause a clown car collision. - 6
Lincoln: I'd hate for my bad luck to cause a boo-boo. - 7
Lisa: There's no such thing as bad luck. - 8
Lisa: You are bad luck! - 9
Lincoln: Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky! Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky! - 13
Lynn Sr.: We-we can't risk your bad luck spreading to us. - 14
Lincoln: Just another perk of the bad luck life. - 15
Lynn Sr.: but with your bad luck, who knows what could go wrong? - 16
Lincoln: Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky. Who's unlucky. I'm unlucky. - 20
Lola: You're bad luck, Lincoln! - 21
Lincoln: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, I AM NOT BAD LUCK. - 22
Lynn: If you're not bad luck, - 23
Lincoln: As long as she thinks I'm bad luck, I'm doomed. - 24
Announcer: Talk about bad luck. - 25
Lincoln: I am bad luck! - 26
Lincoln: Lead walls will keep my bad luck from affecting anyone. - 27
Lincoln: I'm not bad luck. - 28
Lincoln: Well, my family doesn't think I'm bad luck anymore. In fact, now they think I'm good luck. - 30
Total Sins: 7308 X 220 = 7,662,993,408
For the next... choose one in season 3 and comment!
Also after this time, I'm just going to copy and paste all scripts from wikia. Since it takes too much time to do it myself. That's fine, right? Sins will be still created.