MY DINNER GOES UP IN SMOKE

"The names just keep getting ridiculous" Hera muttered to herself. It was bad enough that she was reading about a demigod, even if this demigod seemed not as bad as the others, the titles looked like Hermes had written them.

Said god sneezed and looked around. Guess someone was remembering him.

Word of the bathroom incident spread immediately. Wherever I went, campers pointed at me and murmured something about toilet water. Or maybe they were just staring at Annabeth, who was still pretty much dripping wet.

Said girl threw a glare at the son Poseidon. Said son of Poseidon threw back an apologetic smile.

She showed me a few more places: the metal shop (where kids were forging their own swords),

"That would be us. We make the weapons for the camp" Beckendorf said to those that didn't know. But his eyes were on his brother specifically, he had to know what role his half siblings played.

the arts- and-crafts room (where satyrs were sandblasting a giant marble statue of a goat-man),

"Pan" Hermes said with a smile, his tone laced with sadness. No one knew what had happened to his son and that was killing him.

and the climbing wall, which actually consisted of two facing walls that shook violently, dropped boulders, sprayed lava, and clashed together if you didn't get to the top fast enough.

"No one ever died from that" Grover said quickly as his eyes fell on Percy, who had a horrified expression.

"Our cabin excels in healing. We take care of you before you know it" Will grinned at the boy.

Finally we returned to the canoeing lake, where the trail led back to the cabins. "I've got training to do, " Annabeth said flatly. "Dinner's at seven-thirty. Just follow your cabin to the mess hall. "

"Annabeth, I'm sorry about the toilets. "

"Whatever. "

"It wasn't my fault. "

"Uh it kinda was" Nico pointed out.

"No it wasn't" Percy huffed.

"You made the water do it all. Even if you didn't realize it" Bianca said in support of her brother.

Percy huffed and looked away, he could argue it if she said it like that.

She looked at me skeptically, and I realized it was my fault. I'd made water shoot out of the bathroom fixtures. I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.

"One with the plumbing" Hermes and Apollo roared with laughter, the demigods joining them, much to Percy's embarrassment. Even the ocean rulers had a small smile on their face.

"You need to talk to the Oracle, " Annabeth said.

"Who?"

"Not who. What. The Oracle. I'll ask Chiron. "

Apollo sighed at the mention of his Oracle. Once a beautiful woman she was now reduced to a mere husk of a once human, unable to change vessels. He never got to know why this had happened.

Hades though scowled deeply. She was the reason the Di Angelo children lost their mother. It was hers and Zeus' fault.

I stared into the lake, wishing somebody would give me a straight answer for once. I wasn't expecting anybody to be looking back at me from the bottom, so my heart skipped a beat when I noticed two teenage girls sitting cross-legged at the base of the pier, about twenty feet below. They wore blue jeans and shimmering green T-shirts, and their brown hair floated loose around their shoulders as minnows darted in and out. They smiled and waved as if I were a long-lost friend.

Amphitrite huffed. Young as they may be, they shouldn't be that friendly.

I didn't know what else to do. I waved back.

"Don't encourage them, " Annabeth warned. "Naiads are terrible flirts. "

"They are!?" Leo said with a gaping mouth. The campers all nodded and a smile crept on his face, much to the ire of Piper.

"Naiads, " I repeated, feeling completely overwhelmed. "That's it. I want to go home now. "

"That's all it took" Poseidon chuckled. He had decided to enjoy the little moments, try to let it balance things out for him.

Annabeth frowned. "Don't you get it, Percy? You are home. This is the only safe place on earth for kids like us. "

"You mean, mentally disturbed kids?"

"I take offense to that" Connor spoke out.

"You're the last person that should be offended" Katie grumbled, smacking the boy with a cushion.

"I mean not human. Not totally human, anyway. Half-human. "

"Half-human and half-what?"

"I think you know. "

I didn't want to admit it, but I was afraid I did. I felt a tingling in my limbs, a sensation I sometimes felt when my mom talked about my dad.

"God, " I said. "Half-god. "

"So you did know!" Leo gasped dramatically.

"It less of him knowing and more of a gut feeling. Something he would understand better than anything else" Annabeth explained, adding a bit of a smirk to the last part.

Percy nodded his head before the last part truly struck him. At which he glared at the girl.

Annabeth nodded. "Your father isn't dead, Percy. He's one of the Olympians. "

"That's ... Crazy. "

"Is it? What's the most common thing gods did in the old stories? They ran around falling in love with humans and having kids with them. Do you think they've changed their habits in the last few millennia?"

"You know" Ares leaned forward. "Mouthing around like that gets you killed" he said with a sweet smile.

A smile that sent a shiver down Annabeth's spine and earned him a glare from Athena.

"But those are just-" I almost said myths again. Then I remembered Chiron's warning that in two thousand years, I might be considered a myth. "But if all the kids here are half-gods-"

"Demigods, " Annabeth said. "That's the official term. Or half-bloods. "

"Then who's your dad?"

Her hands tightened around the pier railing. I got the feeling I'd just trespassed on a sensitive subject.

Annabeth in the room had the exact same reaction, except she was gripping her thigh.

"My dad is a professor at West Point, " she said. "I haven't seen him since I was very small. He teaches American history. "

Athena frowned slightly. She hadn't checked in with Annabeth much growing up. SO why she would run away from home like that and never once think back was a mystery to her.

"He's human. "

"What? You assume it has to be a male god who finds a human female attractive? How sexist is that?"

"In his defense, you did mention only the gods. Not the goddesses" Thalia pointed out.

Annabeth just huffed, not even gracing the son of Poseidon with an apology.

"Who's your mom, then?"

"Cabin six. "

"He would know that" the younger Stoll began.

"If he had seen the film" the elder Stoll finished.

"not my fault he didn't see" Annabeth mumbled under her breath.

"Meaning?"

Annabeth straightened. "Athena. Goddess of wisdom and battle. "

Okay, I thought. Why not?

"And my dad?"

"Undetermined, " Annabeth said, "like I told you before. Nobody knows. "

"Except my mother. She knew. "

"Did she?" Percy looked to his father who nodded.

The other demigods looked at the lord of the seas in shock. None of them had thought a god would reveal himself like that.

"Maybe not, Percy. Gods don't always reveal their identities. "

"My dad would have. He loved her. "

Poseidon shifted slightly as Amphitrite gave him a cold sighted eyebrow raise. Neither though spoke.

Annabeth gave me a cautious look. She didn't want to burst my bubble. "Maybe you're right. Maybe he'll send a sign. That's the only way to know for sure: your father has to send you a sign claiming you as his son. Sometimes it happens. "You mean sometimes it doesn't?" Annabeth ran her palm along the rail. "The gods are busy. They have a lot of kids and they don't always ... Well, sometimes they don't care about us, Percy. They ignore us. "

"Of course we care!" Hermes said immediately.

"It doesn't look it" Travis stated and all gods turned to him.

"Half of our cabin is filled up with kids that aren't dad's" Connor pointed out.

"Some of them have been waiting for years" Katie added.

"Almost all of them have lost hope" Will muttered under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

The gods were now in slight shock. It all made sense to them but it still stung them. They were all being negligent and their kids were suffering from it. They had thought that simply being in camp would be enough and that once they proved themselves, they would be claimed. It was a reward.

"It shouldn't have to be a reward. A parent's love should be unconditional" Hestia said harshly, her voice having a slight tremble. She knew exactly what her family was thinking and knew this would open their eyes.

She saw a few of the gods understand it. But there were still a few who didn't show much of a care. This made the goddess both angry and disappointed.

I thought about some of the kids I'd seen in the Hermes cabin, teenagers who looked sullen and depressed, as if they were waiting for a call that would never come. I'd known kids like that at Yancy Academy, shuffled off to boarding school by rich parents who didn't have the time to deal with them. But gods should behave better.

All of the gods shuffled. Being compared to mortals was…humbling to say the least.

"So I'm stuck here, " I said. "That's it? For the rest of my life?"

"It depends, " Annabeth said. "Some campers only stay the summer. If you're a child of Aphrodite or Demeter, you're probably not a real powerful force.

"Ares is right. Mind that tongue girl" Demeter growled slightly. How dare this girl think of her being of any lesser of a pedigree than the other gods.

Athena sighed and rubbed her temple. She needed to have words with her daughter about choosing her words wisely.

The monsters might ignore you, so you can get by with a few months of summer training and live in the mortal world the rest of the year. But for some of us, it's too dangerous to leave. We're year rounders. In the mortal world, we attract monsters. They sense us. They come to challenge us. Most of the time, they'll ignore us until we're old enough to cause trouble-about ten or eleven years old, but after that, most demigods either make their way here, or they get killed off.

"That sounds rough" Leo muttered slightly.

"Understatement" Frank sighed. At least camp Jupiter was safer. Comparatively speaking.

A few manage to survive in the outside world and become famous. Believe me, if I told you the names, you'd know them. Some don't even realize they're demigods. But very, very few are like that. "

"So monsters can't get in here?"

Annabeth shook her head. "Not unless they're inten-tionally stocked in the woods or specially summoned by somebody on the inside. "

"Why would anybody want to summon a monster?"

"Practice fights. Practical jokes. "

"No" Katie said immediately seeing the look on the Stoll's face.

"Practical jokes?"

"The point is, the borders are sealed to keep mortals and monsters out. From the outside, mortals look into the valley and see nothing unusual, just a strawberry farm. "

"So ... You're a year-rounder?"

Annabeth nodded. From under the collar of her T-shirt she pulled a leather necklace with five clay beads of differ-ent colors. It was just like Luke's, except Annabeth's also had a big gold ring strung on it, like a college ring.

Annabeth fiddled with the ring around her neck.

"I've been here since I was seven, " she said. "Every August, on the last day of summer session, you get a bead for surviving another year. I've been here longer than most of the counselors, and they're all in college. "

"Why did you come so young?"

She twisted the ring on her necklace. "None of your business. "

"Oh. " I stood there for a minute in uncomfortable silence. "So ... I could just walk out of here right now if I wanted to?"

"It would be suicide, but you could, with Mr. D's or Chiron's permission. But they wouldn't give permission until the end of the summer session unless ... "

"Unless?"

"You were granted a quest. But that hardly ever happens. The last time ... "

Hermes sighed. He had hoped that giving Luke a quest, an easy one that is, would both sate his thirst for a quest and make it so his fate didn't catch up to him. But sadly it had the opposite effect.

Her voice trailed off. I could tell from her tone that the last time hadn't gone well.

"Back in the sick room, " I said, "when you were feeding me that stuff-"

"Ambrosia. "

"Yeah. You asked me something about the summer solstice. "

Annabeth's shoulders tensed. "So you do know some-thing?"

"Well... No. Back at my old school, I overheard Grover and Chiron talking about it. Grover mentioned the summer solstice. He said something like we didn't have much time, because of the deadline. What did that mean?"

Grover shifted in his seat slightly. He knew exactly what that was. And from the looks of things, Zeus had not found out yet.

She clenched her fists. "I wish I knew. Chiron and the satyrs, they know, but they won't tell me. Something is wrong in Olympus, something pretty major. Last time I was there, everything seemed so normal. "

"You've been to Olympus?"

"Some of us year rounders, Luke and Clarisse and I and a few others we took a field trip during winter solstice. That's when the gods have their big annual council. "

"But... How did you get there?"

"The Long Island Railroad, of course. You get off at Penn Station. Empire State Building, special elevator to the six hundredth floor. " She looked at me like she was sure I must know this already. "You are a New Yorker, right?"

"Oh, sure. " As far as I knew, there were only a hundred and two floors in the Empire State Building, but I decided not to point that out.

"Maybe if you did, I would have figured it out" Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry?" Percy said, entirely unsure if he should be or not.

"Right after we visited, " Annabeth continued, "the weather got weird, as if the gods had started fighting. A couple of times since, I've overheard satyrs talking. The best I can figure out is that something important was stolen. And if it isn't returned by summer solstice, there's going to be trouble. When you came, I was hoping ... I mean- Athena can get along with just about anybody, except for Ares. And of course she's got the rivalry with Poseidon. But, I mean, aside from that, I thought we could work together. I thought you might know something. "

"Aww little Anny just wants to run free" Thalia teased, earning her a slam on the shoulder.

I shook my head. I wished I could help her, but I felt too hungry and tired and mentally overloaded to ask any more questions. "I've got to get a quest, " Annabeth muttered to her-self. "I'm not too young. If they would just tell me the problem ... "

"It's not yours to be told Abadon" Dionysus drawled.

"Did he just call me a demon?" Annabeth whispered.

"I think he did" Thalia nodded.

I could smell barbecue smoke coming from somewhere nearby. Annabeth must've heard my stomach growl. She told me to go on, she'd catch me later. I left her on the pier, tracing her finger across the rail as if drawing a battle plan.

"I probably was" Annabeth nodded.

Back at cabin eleven, everybody was talking and horsing around, waiting for dinner. For the first time, I noticed that a lot of the campers had similar features: sharp noses, upturned eyebrows, mischievous smiles. They were the kind of kids that teachers would peg as troublemakers.

"Yep" Apollo, Hermes and the Stolls nodded in unison.

Thankfully, nobody paid much attention to me as I walked over to my spot on the floor and plopped down with my minotaur horn. The counselor, Luke, came over. He had the Hermes family resemblance, too. It was marred by that scar on his right cheek, but his smile was intact. "Found you a sleeping bag, " he said. "And here, I stole you some toiletries from the camp store. " I couldn't tell if he was kidding about the stealing part.

"Probably not. It's a Hermes trait" Connor boasted.

"Usually people wouldn't be happy with that" Artemis sighed seeing the smile of pride on Hermes.

I said, "Thanks. "

"No prob. " Luke sat next to me, pushed his back against the wall. "Tough first day?"

"I don't belong here, " I said. "I don't even believe in gods. "

"Yeah, " he said. "That's how we all started. Once you start believing in them? It doesn't get any easier. "

Hermed sighed sadly. If he had stayed by Luke, maybe he would think different. But he was doing it for his own good.

The bitterness in his voice surprised me, because Luke seemed like a pretty easygoing guy. He looked like he could handle just about anything.

"So your dad is Hermes?" I asked.

He pulled a switchblade out of his back pocket, and for a second I thought he was going to gut me, but he just scraped the mud off the sole of his sandal. "Yeah. Hermes. "

"The wing-footed messenger guy. "

"Gee thanks kid" Hermes deadpanned.

"That's him. Messengers. Medicine.

"People always confuse medicine as being yours" Apollo said with a sigh.

"Must be because of this" Hermes raised his staff.

Travelers, merchants, thieves. Anybody who uses the roads. That's why you're here, enjoying cabin eleven's hospitality. Hermes isn't picky about who he sponsors. " I figured Luke didn't mean to call me a nobody.

"I'm sure he didn't" Thalia reassured the boy with a friendly smile.

He just had a lot on his mind. "You ever meet your dad?" I asked. "Once. " I waited, thinking that if he wanted to tell me, he'd tell me. Apparently, he didn't. I wondered if the story had any-thing to do with how he got his scar.

"No!" Hermes said immediately. "Not directly at least" he thought with a sigh.

Luke looked up and managed a smile. "Don't worry about it, Percy. The campers here, they're mostly good people. After all, we're extended family, right? We take care of each other. " He seemed to understand how lost I felt, and I was grateful for that, because an older guy like him-even if he was a counselor-should've steered clear of an uncool middle schooler like me. But Luke had welcomed me into the cabin. He'd even stolen me some toiletries, which was the nicest thing anybody had done for me all day.

"I showed you around!" Annabeth protested. To which Percy just shrugged.

I decided to ask him my last big question, the one that had been bothering me all afternoon. "Clarisse, from Ares, was joking about me being 'Big Three' material. Then Annabeth ... Twice, she said I might be 'the one. ' She said I should talk to the Oracle. What was that all about?" Luke folded his knife. "I hate prophecies. "

"What do you mean?" His face twitched around the scar. "Let's just say I messed things up for everybody else. The last two years, ever since my trip to the Garden of the Hesperides went sour, Chiron hasn't allowed any more quests.

"There just hasn't been a prophecy. Nothing to do with Luke" Apollo corrected.

"We know" will said with a smile.

Annabeth's been dying to get out into the world. She pestered Chiron so much he finally told her he already knew her fate. He'd had a prophecy from the Oracle. He wouldn't tell her the whole thing, but he said Annabeth wasn't destined to go on a quest yet. She had to wait until... Somebody special came to the camp. "

"Somebody special?"

"Don't worry about it, kid, " Luke said. "Annabeth wants to think every new camper who comes through here is the omen she's been waiting for. Now, come on, it's dinner time. "

Annabeth blushed as her friends chuckled.

The moment he said it, a horn blew in the distance. Somehow, I knew it was a conch shell, even though I'd never heard one before.

"Sea trait" Amphitrite nodded.

Luke yelled, "Eleven, fall in!" The whole cabin, about twenty of us, filed into the commons yard. We lined up in order of seniority, so of course I was dead last. Campers came from the other cab-ins, too, except for the three empty cabins at the end, and cabin eight, which had looked normal in the daytime, but was now starting to glow silver as the sun went down.

Artemis smiled softly. She loved how her cabin was designed.

We marched up the hill to the mess hall pavilion. Satyrs joined us from the meadow. Naiads emerged from the canoeing lake. A few other girls came out of the woods- and when I say out of the woods, I mean straight out of the woods. I saw one girl, about nine or ten years old, melt from the side of a maple tree and come skipping up the all, there were maybe a hundred campers, a few dozen satyrs, and a dozen assorted wood nymphs and naiads. At the pavilion, torches blazed around the marble columns. A central fire burned in a bronze brazier the size of a bathtub. Each cabin had its own table, covered in white cloth trimmed in purple. Four of the tables were empty, but cabin eleven's was way overcrowded. I had to squeeze on to the edge of a bench with half my butt hanging off.

"Not fun" Hermes mused, throwing a slight glare to the other gods.

I saw Grover sitting at table twelve with Mr. D, a few satyrs, and a couple of plump blond boys who looked just like Mr. D. Chiron stood to one side, the picnic table being way too small for a centaur. Annabeth sat at table six with a bunch of serious-looking athletic kids, all with her gray eyes and honey- blond hair. Clarisse sat behind me at Ares's table. She'd apparently gotten over being hosed down, because she was laughing and belching right alongside her friends.

"Oh I didn't" Clarisse growled under her breath.

Finally, Chiron pounded his hoof against the marble floor of the pavilion, and everybody fell silent. He raised a glass. "To the gods!" Everybody else raised their glasses. "To the gods!" Wood nymphs came forward with platters of food: grapes, apples, strawberries, cheese, fresh bread, and yes, barbecue! My glass was empty, but Luke said, "Speak to it. Whatever you want-nonalcoholic, of course. "

I said, "Cherry Coke. "

The glass filled with sparkling caramel liquid.

Then I had an idea. "Blue Cherry Coke. "

The soda turned a violent shade of cobalt.

I took a cautious sip. Perfect.

I drank a toast to my mother.

Hera smiled softly, much to the shock of many.

She's not gone, I told myself. Not permanently, anyway. She's in the Underworld. And if that's a real place, then someday... "Here you go, Percy, " Luke said, handing me a platter of smoked brisket. I loaded my plate and was about to take a big bite when I noticed everybody getting up, carrying their plates toward the fire in the center of the pavilion. I wondered if they were going for dessert or something. "Come on, " Luke told me. As I got closer, I saw that everyone was taking a portion of their meal and dropping it into the fire, the ripest straw-berry, the juiciest slice of beef, the warmest, most buttery murmured in my ear, "Burnt offerings for the gods. They like the smell. "

"You're kidding. "

His look warned me not to take this lightly, but I couldn't help wondering why an immortal, all-powerful being would like the smell of burning food.

"We thought the same" the Stolls said in unison.

Luke approached the fire, bowed his head, and tossed in a cluster of fat red grapes. "Hermes. "

I was next. I wished I knew what god's name to say. Finally, I made a silent plea. Whoever you are, tell me. Please.

Amphitrite gave her husband a look. If he had brought the child into this world, it would only be right he claim him.

I scraped a big slice of brisket into the flames. When I caught a whiff of the smoke, I didn't gag. It smelled nothing like burning food. It smelled of hot chocolate and fresh-baked brownies, hamburgers on the grill and wildflowers, and a hundred other good things that shouldn't have gone well together, but did. I could almost believe the gods could live off that smoke.

"Hardly" Dionysus snorted.

"Not that there were tries" Aphrodite giggled, throwing a look at Hermes and Apollo.

When everybody had returned to their seats and finished eating their meals, Chiron pounded his hoof again for our attention. Mr. D got up with a huge sigh. "Yes, I suppose I'd better say hello to all you brats. Well, hello. Our activities director, Chiron, says the next capture the flag is Friday. Cabin five presently holds the laurels. "

A bunch of ugly cheering rose from the Ares table. "Personally, " Mr. D continued, "I couldn't care less, but congratulations. Also, I should tell you that we have a new camper today. Peter Johnson. " Chiron murmured something. "Er, Percy Jackson, " Mr. D corrected. "That's right. Hurrah, and all that. Now run along to your silly campfire. Go on. " Everybody cheered. We all headed down toward the amphitheater, where Apollo's cabin led a sing- along. We sang camp songs about the gods and ate s'mores and joked around, and the funny thing was, I didn't feel that anyone was staring at me anymore. I felt that I was home. Later in the evening, when the sparks from the campfire were curling into a starry sky, the conch horn blew again, and we all filed back to our cabins. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I collapsed on my borrowed sleeping bag. My fingers curled around the Minotaur's horn. I thought about my mom, but I had good thoughts: her smile, the bedtime stories she would read me when I was a kid, the way she would tell me not to let the bedbugs bite.

Percy sighed and looked down at his lap. His mom was alive. He was sure of it.

When I closed my eyes, I fell asleep instantly. That was my first day at Camp Half-Blood. I wish I'd known how briefly I would get to enjoy my new home.

Hera sighed in relief and quickly passed the book to Hermes, like the book was going to burn her.