At first, he did not feel a thing. Then, he felt the excruciating pain in his neck. He could feel his blood flowing, and the venom numbing his whole body. He was not sure which pain was stronger, the physical pain or the pain from the guilt of not being able to fulfill the last wishes of his mentor. Then, the green of his beloved eyes was on him. No, he told himself. This green is a shade darker. Maybe he would be able to finish his job after all.

"Take it …"

He prayed Potter would view his memory and understand the last message from Dumbledore. He would not know the outcome of the war, but he did his best to fulfill the last request of his mentor.

This year as a headmaster turned out to be the most difficult year of his life and resulted in a revelation. He knew he was a mean and petty man. His sharp tongue and cool demeanor had given others an impression of being unfeeling and cruel. However, this year, he underestimated how stressful it would make him act cruelly. Before Dumbledore's death, he had become used to taking care of his students, how irritating and stupid they may be. He would not have minded putting his life on the line to save any of his students. However, under the watchful eyes of the Death Eaters this year, he had to act as if he did not care at all whether a student died through the Carrow's cruel treatment or not. He did not think it would be this challenging to act evil, even though at one point he was a true Death Eater. He will not deny the fact that he had killed and maimed under orders. Although, the number of kills was not as high as Dumbledore may have imagined, and it was three.

The first killing he did was his own father; a muggle kill to show his faith to join the Dark Lord's cause. The second kill was under orders from the Dark Lord, and it was a man who was the previous potion master for the Dark Lord. The man who Severus could not recall the name, had failed to create a potion which was not hard at all for anyone having a mastery in potions. The Dark Lord had found out that the man had just bought his way to mastership and had lied to him about his ability. Severus did not feel any remorse killing a man who lied of his ability in potions. For him, it was a crime equal to death to pose as a potion master, where everyone would blindly drink their concoction. Severus had, of course, replaced the man's place and had gained favor from the Dark Lord by being the best potion master within the Death Eaters. The third kill was the headmaster, and this kill was by far the hardest kill he had ever made. Other than that, he never went out of his way to kill or torture an innocent. In fact, he tried everything within his power to evade a situation like that.

He never truly did fit in with the other Death Eaters, though he did try to blend in with them because it was the only place where he could openly pursue the Dark Arts. His knowledge of the Dark Arts grew under the Dark Lord's service. However, the more he studied the Art, the lesser his interest became of using any of the spells he learned. He became more interested in creating anti-dotes and shielding spells for every Dark spell he learned, thus his wanting to teach Defense of the Dark Arts. His knowledge was the only reason Dumbledore was able to live long enough the previous year, although nobody appreciated his effort including Dumbledore. He saw the disappointment in the headmaster's eyes when he answered he could only prolong his life for a year utmost, even though, the great Albus Dumbledore himself would not have been able to create the potion he made and would have died within the week by that horrible curse.

No one ever cared for his brilliance, nor appreciated any of his inventions. He was not able to publish any of his work due to his position as a "spy." Dumbledore had discouraged him to publicize any of his findings from the fear of someone finding out his status as a former Death Eater. The former headmaster did not even take his time to review any of his works or else Dumbledore would have suggested publicizing the work under an alias. His years of research and findings such as improved potions, antidotes, and counter curses could have helped a lot of people, but now they will never be shared with anyone. This vast knowledge will die with him at this dirty floor of the Shrieking Shack.

However, this was not the regret filling his current mind. The brighter green eyes, which he never saw after graduating Hogwarts was the only thing he truly cared. If only he had made a different choice. If only he was not too much of a child to see the difference between true kindness, and people being nice for their own benefit.

He was a gullible and naïve boy who craved for love and attention and did not understand true evil and cunning. He thought he knew evil through his father's cruelty, but it is hard to understand something you never possessed. After all of his suffering and hard life, the last year had him realize that he was not evil, and never could be evil. He can act cruel and petty, like how he was with the Potter brat, but he could never kill an innocent and feel no remorse. Charity Burbage was still on his conscience, which he would never forget as long as he lived. Which would not be much longer, since he was losing all of his senses now. The last thing on his mind was the green eyes smiling and everything went blank.

Next thing Severus saw was a dirty ceiling with cracks in the corner. He was disoriented, not understanding where he was. The room was dark and familiar, and most importantly, he did not feel the excruciating pain or numbness in his body but only the familiar ache on his back. Did someone find him in time? Severus was sure if he did survive the snakebite, then he would be sent to Azkaban in a matter of time. He was not sure how much time he had before facing the dementors. He just prayed he will get the kiss rather than life imprisonment. He hoped someone will enter soon and explain his situation.

When he really looked at the room though, he noticed how the room looked nothing like a hospital. The room did look bare like a prison, but there were a desk and a calendar that looked very familiar to him. Then, he heard the familiar voice yelling from downstairs. The hated voice of his drunken father and a loud crash of something breaking.

He hurriedly woke up and opened the door, his mind turning its wheel. Is he in hell with his parents? Why does hell look just like his old house in Spinner's End?

He then saw the looming figure of his father, just about to strike his cowering mother. When he was little, he was too scared to defend his mother, for he knew the beatings he would get was far worse than what his mother got. However, now that he was older, he could no longer just watch his mother be beaten, so he rushed down the stairs to tackle his father. Well, he at least tried. He did not anticipate his father being a lot taller and bigger than he was. No, that was not it. He was the one smaller as if he was still a mere child. His whole weight did not give any impact on his father but just made him stagger and stop hitting his wife. Both of his parents were surprised to see their son coming into their fight. Severus' action just fueled the anger of his father, and he backhanded his son towards the floor.

"You little shit! What do you think you're doing! You don't raise your hand to your elder, boy! I'll show you respect!"

Tobias changed his target from his wife to his son and pulled on his son's hair to get a better angle to hit the face repeatedly.

"No!"

Eileen tried to come between the two to protect her only son. Severus felt dizzy from his father's repeated attack but noticed that his father was now hitting and kicking both himself and his mother with hatred and anger. His body ached and blood started to splatter.

Severus tried to cover his mother to take most of the brunt, but his body was too small and his mother was trying to do the same. Tobias' assault did not seem to stop, and he feared his father would not stop until both of them were dead. Severus concentrated hard on his magic to apparate the two of them to a safe place he knew. He was not sure if he could do wandless magic with him being this small, but he did know how to do it since he had done it countless times with worse injuries during his years as a double agent. He prayed for his success to apparate without splinching either of them. Next thing they knew, they were in front of a huge gate.

It had been a while since he came to the old Prince estate, which he inherited a few years back after his grandparents passed away. Severus was not even aware then that his grandparents were still alive and well, while his mother was killed by his father, and his father killed by his own hands.

Severus only came to this place once and talked to the portrait of his grandparents. They both regretted their treatment of Eileen, but they also did not know how to amend their relationship, and just kept to themselves for a very long time. Severus asked why they did not try to contact him, and both of them answered that they were not aware of any of the happenings of their daughter, since their daughter never contacted them. They had added Eileen and her children into their will, thinking that the reason for her daughter not contacting them was because she was having a happy life as a muggle. Severus did not know at the time what to think of his grandparents. Nevertheless, he knew they were the only hope to help his mother.

The instant Severus was certain of his success in apparating to Prince Manor, the world turned black again.