Wow, I'm actually posting new Big Bang Theory fic. I think the last time I wrote something new for this fandom was in the summer of 2017, so it's been a while. For those of you reading Big Beep, I hope to have that finished by the end of next month (finally).

This will be a two shot, inspired by conversations with Roxanne while we podcasted last week. I'm not at all sure if she's edited that one yet, but if she has and you listen to it, you will already know where this is going. xD Honestly I don't know if anyone else will even find this idea interesting but I do and that's all I know when it comes to finding inspiration to write.

Penny realized Leonard had been saying her name at least four times before it actually registered. "Huh, babe?" She asked, swiveling around in the chair. Five pairs of eyes stared at her, five eyebrows flirting with hairlines. All that was missing was Sheldon and a snarky comment.

"I said your food is getting cold." He looked amused. "Are you still looking at that stuff?"

"Well, it's interesting," she said, turning back to the screen. "It took forever to get the results. I've been waiting for this for like five weeks."

"What are you looking at? What is she looking at?" Howard amended, redirecting his question when he got no answer.

"A few of the departments at work got our DNA tested together," Bernadette said. "Through one of the newer websites. The results came in today."

"Oh, right," Howard said with a nod. "I remember you telling me about that. Did you get your results?"

"Probably," she said. "But we can trace my family back hundreds of years, practically back to when my serf of a great – great – great – great – great – great something offed the lord of the manor for being a dick. So it's not like there will be any surprises."

"I didn't know your millionth great whatever killed someone," Howard said.

"You didn't?" Raj asked. "Have you met your wife's mother? She's so quiet and passive. The only way Bernadette can be how she is with fifty percent of Mama Rostenkowski's DNA is if her dad's side was extra savage."

"This particular ancestor is on my mother's side," Bernadette said. "It skipped a generation."

"Are you finding anything interesting, Penny?" Leonard asked.

"Well, I'm just going through my percentages. I'm overwhelmingly German – shocker there, with my maiden name," she said. "Then there's a family tree thing in here."

"Pull up your e – mail," Howard said to Bernadette. "I want to see a photo of this lord killer."

"You're really unfamiliar with how young photography actually is, aren't you?" She asked.

Howard blinked in surprise. "They don't use those pretentious little paintings in place of it or something?"

"Even I know that's way too involved," Penny said, clicking up on her family tree. "This is crazy. My dad's side of the family goes so far back. And he was the side with more illegitimate offspring, so that's actually really impressive." She panned over. "My mom's side goes up pretty far too, except for…" she paused. "I see an actual photo here of my great…." She paused again to double check generations. "Great – great grandmother." Penny tapped the screen with her fingernail. "There is no record of this woman here beyond herself, though," she said. "Elisabeth Ružić. My other ancestors on my mom's side continue to have their family trees going back, but she appears from nowhere. Must not have had any other interest in that part of this family, which would make sense since there aren't many of us."

"Ružić," Amy said. "That's a Serbian name, but Elisabeth, at least in that form, is not."

"Variations of Elisabeth have been popular in Celtic countries for forever," Leonard said, "but you don't really see a lot of Elisabeth Ružićs, at least not born in 1902. Her name would have been – "

"Liesel, most likely," Amy finished. She turned to Raj. "Like the eldest daughter in The Sound of Music, although in real life none of those kids were named that."

"Amy!" Penny said, clapping her hands once together. "Cool tangent. Can we loop back around?"

"Tangents are more of a circle, not a loop, but alright."

"Uh oh, guys," Leonard said. "Amy is turning into Sheldon. But anyway," he said off of a glare from his wife, "back to Elisabeth Ružić. I wonder if there might be a cool story about her."

"Maybe she was a spy," Raj said. "In World War I or something. I bet she was pretty. I bet she seduced those Germans for information and then ratted them right out!"

"It was Austria – Hungary that invaded Serbia in World War I," Amy corrected. "Not Germany."

"Who said she was living in Serbia?" Raj retorted. "Someone looked at my last name, they wouldn't be like oh yeah, that Koothrapali, he totally lives in America."

"Well, we know Penny's great grandmother was born in Germany," Leonard said. "Would your mom know anything about her?"

Penny shook her head. "My grandmother never knew either of her birth parents. They died when they were young and she was adopted. She was born in 1942, and her mother died when she was eight. She was in America, though, so either Elisabeth or Fanny, my great grandmother, would have come here. Although I suppose Elisabeth could have come with Fanny. Let's see. Elisabeth died in…oh," she said, her tone growing somber. "She died in 1922. She was only twenty. Fanny was born in 1920, so if Elisabeth came to America, it would have had to have been in that time period."

"Right after the first World War," Howard commented.

"Maybe she was executed for being a spy," Raj offered.

"That would be kind of cool, Penny," Bernadette said.

"Well, wait," Penny said, "would she have been a spy for the bad guys or the good guys?"

"The good guys, unless she totally jumped ship and spied for Austria – Hungary," Amy said.

"That had better not be the case," Penny said. "I don't need no Eggs Benedict in my family tree."

"Benedict Arnold," Leonard said under his breath.

"Benedict Arnold," Penny stated loudly, as if no one had heard Leonard and would think she was making the correction. "Don't give me that condescending smirk," she said to Amy.

The brunette shrugged. "It's my face. Interpret my face however you'd like."

"We could check census and immigration records to figure out when your mother's family got to the United States," Amy said.

"That could be where the name change happened," Penny said. "If she was born something else and wanted to change it, right?"

"Hmm, maybe," Amy said, "although it's likely if she had come over, her last name would have changed, too, to make it sound more Americanized. And the spelling of her name might have been different too – Elizabeth with a Z instead of an S. My guess would be that Elisabeth died in Europe somewhere. And my guess would be Elisabeth is not her birth first name, and Ružić is not her birth surname, making any internet research useless. We could try looking for people with common Serbian first and last names around that age who have unknown fates, but that would be like jabbing a spear into a pond without checking for fish first."

"That is the most back country saying I've ever heard from you, Ames," Penny said. She dramatically put a hand to her heart. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little proud."

"So Elisabeth – or Gerda or Maria or whatever her name actually was – probably died overseas," Leonard mused. "Honestly I'm surprised she even lived at all, with no parents," he joked.

"Spies work in mysterious ways, right Raj?" Bernadette joked.

The astrophysicist rolled his eyes. "I don't appreciate your condescending tone."

"It's my tone. Interpret my tone however you'd like," Bernadette said with a mischievous grin. "Right, Amy?"

"Maybe she was adopted at a young age," Leonard suggested. "Or even orphaned. The flu, scarlet fever, all sorts of things killed back then. Maybe she never knew who her real parents were. If she left an orphanage or ran away from a bad adoptive family, that would explain why she never had parents listed on a census. And it could always be, too, that the lineage does go back beyond her and there is record of it, it just isn't in their system yet."

Raj's eyes widened. He leaned over to Howard.

"What's the deal with the whisper reprise?" Howard asked, leaning away. "You've been talking to women for the better part of ten years."

"No, listen," Raj said, pulling Howard back upright and putting a hand up to block his mouth.

Penny glanced at Leonard with her eyebrows up. Leonard shrugged and shook his head.

"No, Raj," Howard said, looking amused that his friend would even consider whatever he was suggesting. "That's impossi…" he trailed off as Raj kept furiously whispering. "Oh, you're right…holy crap…" they both turned to look at Penny.

"What?"

Howard burst into a chuckle. "There's no way," he said, looking at Raj again.

"Oh, you're right, holy crap, there's no way," Raj mimicked. "You're sending me mixed signals here, and you know there's a chance I'm right."

"There isn't really," Howard said. "None of that stuff ever actually happens."

A small smile was coming over Raj's face. "But you want to do more research, don't you?"

Howard stared at him, unblinking, for several seconds, then he jumped up and clapped his hands together in excitement. "You bet I do!"

"What do you…hey, wait!" Penny exclaimed as the two men ran for the door. "Where are you going?"

"To CVS," Howard said. "Then off to track some people down."

She leaned over toward Leonard. "Husband," she said in an overly sweet voice, "what are they up to?"

"Wish I knew," Leonard said. "Wish I knew."

Husband and wife realized, simultaneously, that Amy was still on the couch. They turned toward her. She was sitting exactly where she was, arms folded, staring at the door with her brow furrowed.

"Deep in thought?" Leonard asked.

It was as if she didn't hear him. Leonard glanced at Penny, who shrugged and looked back toward Amy. "Ames?" She asked hesitantly.

Still without acknowledging either of the Hofstadters, Amy got to her feet and headed for the door. "Wait for me!"