Selina Kyle's perspective:

Selina was cooking herself some bacon and eggs for breakfast in the kitchen of her apartment when she saw a long-eared shadow in front of her. No! He can't have figured it out.

Selina spun around to see that it was indeed The Batman. "Oh, Yes, Ms. Kyle" he said. "I know the face behind the cat." Selina froze. This was her greatest fear. Though she had done well at escaping Batman so far, without her secret identity, she was vulnerable.

But Selina had a way out of this yet. Ironically, if she pulled it off, it would be preferable to Batman never knowing he she was. She stretched her back and moved her hands suggestively to her right hip and left cheek. "You found your cat-burglar," she said. "she's allll yours."

Batman made no movement towards her. Sensing that his resolve was weakening, Selina advanced twards him slowly and seductively. "Let me help you make up your mind," she leaned in. Her lips were stopped by Batman middle and index fingers. "I can't," said Batman.

"Is the so-called Dark Knight afraid of women?" challenged Selina. "I mean 'I can't' literally," explained Batman. "I'm not the real Batman. You wouldn't feel my kiss."

Selina frowned. Although she knew she shouldn't; the real Batman didn't know who she was after all. "That explains it," she reasoned. "What?" asked "Batman." "Why you came for me in broad daylight. Batman plays on fear. He'd get me in the dark or the shower."

"Don't blame me for your lack of imagination," "Batman" defended himself. That was true. Selina spent much of her childhood and adolescence homeless until she was confident enough to burglarize homes. That no doubt hurt her dreams.

"If you're just a big nothingburger in my head," demanded Selina, "Get the Hell out of my dream. I accept no substitutes."

"Who said anything about me being powerless?" objected "Batman." "I may not be able to make love to you, Ms. Kyle, but people die in their sleep." With that, he put Selina in a martial arts throat lock. Her breath was slowed and sharp pain spread through her neck. She squirmed and kicked to free her herself, but "Batman" had the strength of a bison! The real Batman was strong but not like this! Suddenly, Selina wished that she was a better storyteller.

Selina dropped onto her knees and felt as though she was moments from blacking out or having her throat shredded. "Why?" she weakly asked. "To remind you of the danger of pursuing this relationship," said "Batman." "This is your fate if your charms never take him." A weak Selina silently screamed as Batman's right thumb tore through her throat.

Selina was on the ground with a sore nose. But it was only from falling out of bed. A little touch proved that her throat was fine. The dream was over.

That was certainly a dream worth having. That was my favorite fantasy and worst nightmare! And I was told of a third option: kill Batman. Maybe not even God knows how this ends.

The Joker's perspective:

The Joker and Harley Quinn were free.

Nine guards lay dead smiling in Arkham Asylum. Nobody imagined that Joker could use the poison gas of his without a gas mask, which Arkham obviously didn't provide. But what Arkham's security force didn't realize was that the incident that changed The Joker's appearance forever had somehow enhanced his immune system.

Driving a stolen car away, the murderous couple realized that it was sundown and they were still nowhere near Gotham City. They needed a rest spot. The Joker found one in a motorhome after "buying" it from the occupying mother, father, son, cat, and dog with the effective policy of gas.

Harley was waiting for him outside. After all, leftover fumes in the motorhome would be fatal to her. After an hour of work, the Joker came out with his serum.

"'Bout time, Mistah J," cried Harley. She leapt into The Joker's arms and began stroking his hair. She truly seemed to be in love and despite what the overpaid pundits said of her womanhood, she was very forceful about it. The extremes she went to were about the only thing that scared The Joker. He had to laugh about that. Never flinched when dealing with Batsy or the other maniacs in Arkham. What made him feel fear? A loving girlfriend.

"What's so funny?" asked Harley. "Nothing," Joker was anxious to change the subject. "If you want to be my lover, Harley, I need you to go the rest of the way to madness."

"Anything for you, puddin'," promised Harley. Showing her the serum, The Joker said, "Here it is. I've recreated the same formula that made me the laughing douchebag that I am today. One shot and you've gone the rest of the way to madness, not to mention immunity to most poison."

Harley was puzzled. "I thought you didn't remember very far back." "I don't," said Joker. "Maybe I was a gangster who got caught raiding a chemical plant and was accidentally dropped into chemicals by Batsy. Maybe I was a failed comedian who suffered that same fate turning to crime in order to support his family. Or maybe an abusive mother got angry with me and poured chemicals on me when I was a baby. So many memories to choose... but they all agree on one thing: chemicals cured me from the disease some call sanity."

"Ain't that dangerous?" asked Harley. "Mm-hmm," Joker nodded. "But I did work on this. You won't look like a clown like I did. And you haven't a thirty-five percent chance of death."

Harley was panting in teror. "Sorry," she said. "I may be a little crazy, but I ain't mindless."

The Joker frowned. Putting Harley down, he said, "I'm very sorry to hear that, Harley. You see, I accept nothing less than total insanity in my woman. And I'm the greatest guy in Gotham, with the provisional exception of Batman." He drew the pump to the poison gas tank strapped onto his back underneath his suit coat. "Nobody says no to The Joker. Understand?"

"Yeah," Harley gulped. "Gimme that needle."

"Is that a yes?"

"As close to one as you're gettin'." The Joker handed Harley the serum and she injected herself. If she survives, we're gonna have a lot of fun. If she doesn't, it's still fun for me.

A few seconds after she'd injected the serum, Harley was clutching the spot that she had stuck the needle into. Seconds later, her eyes bulged and her face started shaking. She fell down and smiled.

The Joker gasped as he knew what this meant. "Harley," he yelled. "Harley! What have I done?"

"Gotcha," said Harley. The Joker was a good enough sport to laugh. "You're absolutely wonderful, honey bunch," said Joker, hugging her.

The Joker carried Harley into the motorhome. The next day would be about clipping Batsy's wings, but for now, it was Joker and Harley time.

Bruce's perspective:

The following afternoon, Bruce Wayne was pondering what the plan would be once he again became a creature of the night. He thought on his pursuit of the elusive Catwoman and how the return of The Joker and Harley Quinn had complicated matters.

Not that there was such a thing as a good time for the worst power couple in the world to break out of Arkham, but did it have to be just as Bruce thought he had found the most recent pattern in Catwoman's crimes? Bruce had a difficult choice to make.

Normally, if Bruce had to choose between a serial killer or a burglar, he opted for the killer every time. But with him having a good guess as to where Catwoman's next would be but no clues on The Joker, Bruce took a deep breath.

Batman was going after Catwoman. She may have been less important, but she was the one Batman could deal with right away. Besides, she was the one Batman hadn't caught yet. He couldn't let this blind spot on his record send a message to the Gotham underworld that a model for escaping Batman existed. Criminals had to fear him.

It occurred to Bruce that there was something personal involved. Admit it, Wayne. You're too proud to not want to catch her and to do it now! More importantly, your feelings for her have become unstoppable! The next best thing is to put her away and force her to go straight so she won't have to stay in prison until Social Security time. And of course, you will be the parole officer.

Of course, there was the issue of how to find Catwoman. So upon returning to the Batcave after work, he ran Catwoman's burglary patterns through the Batcomputer, along with what the best method of attack were. Where intuition had failed, perhaps analytics would prevail.

Batman's perspective:

Batman was on a building and behind a billboard that directly faced Gotham Museum of Art, which Batman's cold, scientific findings told him was Catwoman's next target. This way, even if Catwoman scanned the surrounding area with those nightvision lenses of hers - and she would - she wouldn't spot him. But Batman managed to spot Catwoman with a few valuable paintings exiting the museum out of a hole she had no doubt made in a window. She must have somehow gotten in without Batman spotting her. Better late than never.

Running and leaping from building to building until he neared the museum, Batman, used his Batgrapple to descend to the sidewalk behind Catwoman. Batman threw a Batbola at Catwoman, encircling her.

That won't stop her. Better take advantage fast! By the time Catwoman had cut the Batbola off her with her claws, Batman had seized her from behind. Stealing a page from Becky "The Hog" Traylor, Batman tightened the hold into a bear hug. Catwoman didn't seem able to squirm free and her arms were held too tight for her to use her claws. She did try to kick back and up into Batman's groin, but he shut his legs tight, protecting his testicles.

Batman's bear hug wasn't quite as refined as The Hog's, but within four minutes, Catwoman was gasping for breath. "You win," she wheezed. "Just let go. I can't breath and my back could go any second. Please don't kill me."

"You don't play the damsel in distress well," sneered Batman. Still, he loosened his grip just enough for Catwoman to breathe well. She began gasping for air and looked at Batman in terror. Guess she wasn't completely lying.

"Guess my winning streak's over," Catwoman admitted once she caught her breath. She hopped and kicked both legs up and leaned towards Batman so he had to shift his hold to a lover's carry. "You deserve a reward," said Catwoman, leaning in to kiss.

Batman pulled Catwoman's face down to the level of his abdomen. "What's the matter?" asked Catwoman. "Scared if I kiss you, you'll never be able to let me go? Your red cheeks say that you should be."

Catwoman wrapped her arms around Batman's neck and pulled so that her lips inched closer and closer to his. How? Catwoman was one of the fastest and most agile people on earth, but there was no way she could be winning this test of strength.

Unless this sexy woman had already partially corrupted Batman. He couldn't allow this kiss to happen. Catwoman face had gone from desperate to the look of a shark smelling blood. "Sorry, Batman," she said. "I don't give a shit about cold feet. You wanted me? You got me. I'm allllllll yours."

Three kisses were placed on Batman's left cheek. Now Catwoman shifted her face over to give Batman a big wet one and licked her chops. "Look at it this way," suggested Catwoman. "You're about to find out just how strong a man you are." She had a point. Either Batman's fealty to his mission or his disgraceful love for a criminal would win out. He was not greatly optimistic.

Suddenly, Batman felt a sharp and strong force on his right arm knock him forward and over, forcing him to let Catwoman go. Clutching it, Batman stood to see that he had been attacked by a cougar. Catwoman was far from grateful to the beast. "Dammit, Caesarion," she scolded. "I had him!" Turning to Batman, she said, "I see you've met Caesarion."

"After the son of Cleopatra?" asked Batman. "Appropriate choice for an African-American Queen of crime."

"Look who graduated high school. Alas, this sick society stopped me from making it past the third grade."

"You're aware that keeping panthers is illegal without special permission, right? You don't care, do you?"

"Not really. And for the record, he's a cougar."

"I suppose our buddy time will be cut short from now on," Batman heard a familiar voice call from the road. Batman and Catwoman both turned to see The Joker. No! Not now!

"From what I hear," said Catwoman, "You and Batman aren't exactly friends."

"Oh, but we are," said Joker. "In fact, I want to give him a little present to show thanks for the vacations he's convinced the boss to give me over the last year. Question is, does he love you or are you just eye candy he'll throw in the trash when the taste gets old. Let's find out."

With that, The Joker pointed his suit flower at Catwoman. Batman immediately hopped in front of Catwoman and used his protective cape to deflect the acid as it squirted out. "Out of here," Batman ordered Catwoman. "Take your pet with you." "What are you saying?" asked Catwoman.

"There will be another night," Batman promised. "Just get the Hell out of here while you still can!" Catwoman fled, signaling and whistling to get Caesarion to follow.

"I'm the one you want," Batman reminded The Joker, who nodded.

Selina's perspective:

Catwoman and Caesarion were in Selina's car. As she ducked in the back floorboard to change back into her street clothes without anyone seeing her, Selina couldn't help but curse, "Dammit! I had him. Probably." That was just it. Batman had gotten out of so many tight spots it wasn't funny! Catwoman had been on the receiving end of Batman's ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat; thank God the cops sent a pair of idiots to try and fail to pick The Princess of Plunder up.

Still, she seemed to have once again escaped capture by Batman. Any encounter with the big, dark, yet white guy that didn't end with you locked up went great!

Once she was officially Selina and not Catwoman, Gotham's top burglar took one last look at the fight. The Joker seemed to have exhausted his supply of bullets and had drawn an assault rifle on Batman. No wonder the left side of his suit coat looked so baggy. Batman and The Joker were staring each other down. A classic standoff. Selina knew the moment this ended would be time to go, but she wasn't missing it. This is gonna be good, even if I know what the outcome's gonna be now.

It was then that Selina saw a short, blonde-haired woman with pigtails in the distance. Must have been Harley Quinn. Sabisia Brown had told Selina that Harley was nuts enough to be The Joker's girlfriend. Harley was holding a baseball bat backwards and reaching back with it. Selina thought about warning Batman, but that would raise suspicions on who Selina really was.

Caesarion seemed more concerned for Batman. "Relax," Selina petted him. "I've seen this movie before. He's got this. You'll see."

Harley chucked the bat and it hit Batman hard! Harley moved in to punish a downed Batman with three more kicks to his unprotected lower face. This didn't surprise Selina. It wasn't like Batman didn't take his lumps. Any minute now, he'd make his comeback. Sure enough, he caught Harley's foot and threw her into the museum wall with it. He delivered a couple punches to Harley, knocking her down. "What did I tell you?" Selina smiled at her pet cougar.

But The Joker, as he was staring at the bulletproof rear of Batman, knocked him back down with the handle of the rifle. Joker and Harley continued hitting him as he was down. Their style.

As Batman sprawled on the ground from the beating he was taking, four men came out a door across the street from this battle. Joker had obviously planned this. "OK, Batman," whispered Selina. "You can stop pretending the freak's the better man." Wait, why am I rooting for him? He's my enemy. I've got no beef with Joker. Other than him trying to kill me just for having stolen Batman's heart... never mind.

Selina had seen car pile-ups with less intensity than the one she was watching. Caesarion's concern was growing by the second. Selina hissed to keep Caesarion from helping. "Couldn't help even if we wanted to," said Selina softly so Caesarion could kind of understand. "And I... look, I'm out of costume. Even if we could make a difference, he'd know who we are. I'd be behind bars inside a week. And you'd be spending the rest of your life in a zoo getting pestered by children." Caesarion sat down, looking sad. "Good kitty."

This was it. Batman was down and out. Selina had apparently him too much credit, because The Joker had successfully trapped and was no doubt about to kill him. Against all her instincts, Selina told herself that she should be happy about this. The one person in town with any chance of catching her would soon be dead.

Selina drove away. A low growl from Caesarion got her to look at the animal, who was giving her the "sad eyes" routine. "Don't look at me like that," scolded Selina. "He's our enemy. We're doing the right thing."

And yet, it felt so wrong. Somehow, Selina felt like she shouldn't look back to see if the tide had turned.

Eventually, they returned to their apartment. "Where's the painting?" asked Sabisia. "I must have dropped it getting away," groaned Selina.

"Batman again?"

"And The Joker. They got in a fight."

"Guys. Can't stop fighting. Guess he got his man after all."

"No, actually The Joker got him. He's probably dead by now."

"You didn't try to help?"

"Of course not!"

"I thought you were..."

"Gushing. Half the girls in town have a crush. He may be attractive, but he's also my archenemy. The Joker can have him."

Sabisia waited a bit for Selina to put away her Catwoman suit. "Caesarion looks really unhappy about this," said Sabisia, pointing to Caesarion. He was lying down and looked very depressed.

"I can't help him with that," sighed Selina. "He'll get over it." But Selina couldn't be sure if she herself would get over it. Maybe a shower would help her realize that things had turned out for the best.

The Joker's perspective:

The Joker literally jumped for joy! I've done it! After four battles, three of which ended up with me in Arkham, I beat Batsy! I did it! I've beaten him!

"Harley," ordered Joker. "Do a cartwheel. Put feeling into it." Harley obliged. The Joker felt even greater joy as Harley cartwheeled in the spirit of victory.

"Here's your gun," one of The Joker's men held up his assault rifle for him. "Oh, no," said Joker. "He deserves a more dramatic death than that! I'll record a video of this moment, then I want you to take him home. Unspoiled. And Harley? Give him the sedative. He's gotten out of these things before. He's harder to kill than a Kryptonian fly. You did remember to get that sedative, right?"

"I remember now," Harley tried. The Joker was angry. Getting in her face, he said, "You'd better get it on the way, or you better not be there when I arrive! Understand?"

"Yes, Mistah J," whimpered Harley.

The Joker drove alone to the house of Veronica Vreeland, who had recently gotten the position of Gothic Report's top reporter. Joker entered the bedroom to see Veronica asleep. He awakened her by prodding her face with the barrel of the gun. Veronica awakened and gasped at what she saw. "What do want from me?" she asked firmly but carefully.

"Go back to the newsroom to break the news about the impending death of The Batman," said The Joker. "I have a recording to prove it." Veronica went from frightened to overjoyed. "Tell me more," she jumped on the story of the millennium!

Selina's perspective:

Selina was out of the shower, wearing a bathrobe, and feeling a fair amount better. She saw a very serious Sabisia on the couch, looking at her phone. "Gothic Report's got a news story you're really gonna wanna see, Selina," Sabisia held the phone out for Selina.

Selina took the phone and read the story. Looked like The Joker hadn't killed Batman yet. In fact, he had announced that he was waiting until midnight to do away with The Dark Knight by way of electric chair. It was 9:41 PM as Selina read that. The Joker had promised to deliver Batman's head to the GCPD in the morning.

"I think this is tabloid shit," said Selina. This was more of a wish than a true belief. She didn't want anything to give her second thoughts. Not now. Not when she in position to pull virtually any job she wanted from then on. Still, she turned on the TV and flipped to a local network. "If this is for real," she said, "The local networks and probably the national ones are on this." Sure enough, the news was about how Joker had captured Batman and had promised to electrocute him at midnight.

"Satisfied?" asked Sabisia. "Ninety percent," Selina admitted. "Still a very slim chance that this is all a screwup."

"And in the almost certain event?"

"Joker's crazy to let him live that long... but not dumb. He'll probably sedate or otherwise weaken Batman. He's not goin' anywhere."

"Could someone find him?"

"Uh-uh. GCPD's procedures slow them down too much. Those brats he's hanging out with are amateurs. No way they find him in such a short period of time."

"Guess it's up to The Catwoman."

Selina smiled. It felt good to be needed, but it wasn't happening. "I'm not helping him."

"You're not?" asked Sabisia. Somehow she seemed surprised.

"Of course not," explained Selina. "I know I've told you that I like him, but he won't hold up his end. In fact, he's ashamed to feel anything for Catwoman. He's self-righteous about law and order, you see. I'm not a hopeless romantic. I have a time limit, and it's been reached. It's time for us to get ours now that the getting's good."

"Then you're gonna hear tomorrow that he died because you did..." Sabisia gave a warning.

"Don't you dare try to guilt-trip me," snapped Selina. "I gave him a lot of chances to take me and was rejected. His loss. He's gonna die and..." Suddenly, Selina found herself sobbing. "Forget anything I said," she wiped away her tears. "Listen, Sabisia, as you've guessed all along, I'm gonna look for him. I might not find him. Even if I do, I don't like my chances. I'm a cat-burglar, not a soldier. Batman is a soldier, and he got caught. I probably don't have a chance either."

"But you can't live with yourself if you don't try?" asked Sabisia. "Unfortunately, no," declared Selina. "Catwoman's going out again. Probably not successfully, but even if she's killed by The Joker herself, perhaps dying alongside Batman is fitting."

Batman's perspective:

A punch across the head woke Batman up. It was The Joker. Harley Quinn was to the side. They looked very pleased with themselves. And it became obvious why when Batman tried to squeeze free from the ropes binding him to a chair, only to discover that his strength and mobility were gone. They must have drugged him.

"Thanks to the good word you put in for me at the office," sad The Joker, "I've been on vacation for most of the past year. I finally have a chance to repay you. Batter up, honey bunch!"

The Joker stepped away and Harley moved in front of Batman, posing like a baseball player stepping up to home plate. She whacked Batman across the head with her bat five times. A couple lines of blood trickled down Batman's chin. "Grand slam," yelled Joker, kissing Harley on the cheek.

Things looked bleak. Between the drugging and bat swings, Batman could barely even stay conscious. This looked like the end. Statistics said that Batman should have died at least half a dozen times over a little under three years since he first suited up. Now his war on crime seemed to be at an end. He hoped Robin and The Batgirl had learned faster than they seemed to. Gotham was to be in their hands.

"Say something," demanded Joker. " We're all friends here. It's not like we're about to kill you." Why did he have to be the one who got the lucky break? This grinning murderer is going to make my last moments Hell, isn't he?

"I know where to start," said Harley. "How's Robin? Has the kid started dating yet?"

Keeping them talking might give Batman a chance. Probably one in a hundred thousand. "Yes," said Batman. Alfred had told Bruce Wayne that while he and Talia al Ghul were out of the country on a mission, Robin had kissed Batgirl.

"How sweet," Harley said softly. "Cute couple?" asked The Joker.

"Better than the one I see," said Batman.

"You're a rude houseguest. Just for that..." The Joker reached into his suit and out came a revolver. At least this wasn't being dragged out too far.

"Say Batsy," said Joker. "I know that Halloween costume of yours kind of protects you from bullets. Does that mask? Because I would think it would have to be less effective to keep from cramping breathing."

Batman nodded.

"Let's see how it protects from a point blank range shot." As he took aim at Batman's forehead, Harley started humming The Funeral March.

Joker pulled the trigger. Instead of a bullet, a small flag labeled "Bang!" came out. He and Harley began laughing hysterically. Batman didn't find this to be very funny, though.

"That makes two out of three having fun," noted Batman. "You just can't... take a joke." huffed Joker, tired from laughing so much. "Did you think... I'd kill you so soon... or quick? When you... when you die, it's gonna be a lot more dra-dramatic." He and Harley continued laughing.

Batman wished The Joker would get it over with. He seemed intent on making this not only The Dark Knight's last night, but also his worst!

Selina's perspective:

The good news was that asking around had gotten Selina a lead on the suburb where The Joker was holding Batman. The bad news was that Selina hadn't been able to find where in that area they were. She'd searched all the warehouses and other attractive areas for a fugitive's home and still no sign of laughing boy or the mansel in distress.

11:19. God dammit! I've gotta find 'em before midnight. Still, Selina was getting more anxious. She needed something to calm her nerves.

She drove around to pick out the fast food restaurant that she would be getting coffee from. She needed a special kind. Getting out of her car, she asked a nearby man, "Excuse me? I'm new to this part of town. What place serves the best coffee?"

"Normally," said the man, "I'd say McDunnell's. But I just got out of there and the clerks look scared. I'd go somewhere else to calm your nerves."

That may have been Selina's big break. "Thanks," she said this as best as she could without blowing her cover.

Batman's perspective:

Batman was strapped into an electric chair. The Joker's four men were looking on as Harley Quinn beat a drum terribly. The Joker himself was dressed as a security guard. "Batman," he declared. "You have been found guilty of ruining my fun and taking several months of my life away. Any last requests?"

"I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of seeing me cry, Joker. You can go to Hell!"

"Not before you're in heaven, where I wouldn't be caught dead," laughed The Joker, flipping the switch. The electricity flowed.

Mother, Father, I'm coming.

Catwoman's perspective:

Selina Kyle had done her part. Time for Catwoman to take action. "You stay in the floorboard, handsome," she said sternly to Caesarion, complete with finger wagging. "They don't allow pets here, especially you. Don't look at me like that." Caesarion meowed his disappointment but did as he was told. Selina smiled. "I know mama's being mean to her boy, but it's meant to be. There's a good chance I'm not coming back. If not, they'll discover you sooner or later, and you'll have a new life."

Catwoman was a thief at heart, not a thug. The first part of her mission might be hard. She entered McDunnell's, intent on getting answers. "Freeze," she heard a man say. It was one of two cops, one of which holding a pair of handcuffs. "You're under arrest Catwoman," said the one with the cuffs.

"You have a right to remain silent," said the other one. "Anything you say may be used against..." a side kick decked him before he finished. Stunning the first one with a claw strike, Catwoman delivered three knee strikes to the gut to drop him to his knees. Leaping up and stomping his head on the way down finished him. The second cop had gotten up. A roundhouse kick fixed that.

"I know every man here wants some of this," Catwoman motioned to her own body. "Got the guts to try and take it? Didn't think so." She turned to the clerks to see that one of them had a phone. A crack of Catwoman's whip and wagging of her finger and everyone behind the counter froze.

"Do you know The Joker?" asked Catwoman.

"I-I don't know," said one.

"Nervous and knowing what I'm talking about," frowned Catwoman. She knelt on the counter and showed the clerks her claws. "You assholes come clean... or else!"

"We'll get killed if we tell you!"

"What makes you think I won't?"

Another of the four clerks finally walked up to her and whispered, "He's in the basement. Happy?"

"Much," whispered Catwoman. "Uh-uh-uh," she said to a customer trying to sneak up on her. "Like I said, look, don't touch. Or you'll need stitches." The customer backed off, eventually into his seat.

"Before I was so rudely interrupted," Catwoman whispered to the clerks again. "I was going to warn you that the investigation after this will probably get you busted. Sorry. Stay. You've got IDs. They'll find you." She pointed to the one white person, a young male, in the group. "I see you're not very comfortable around black people," Catwoman noticed. "Straighten up. You'll see a lot of us where you're going."

Catwoman descended to the basement. She heard a speech by The Joker that sounded like a parody of an execution. Looks like I got here just in time.

Eventually, Catwoman heard electricity working. Had to be an electric chair. It was deep enough underground that the customers wouldn't hear. What do I do now? If Batman couldn't handle these people, neither can I. And I don't have time to be clever and stealthy about this.

Or did she? She had, after all, intimidated the clerks. She went back up to the main place and leapt over the counter. "Break the fuses," Catwoman quietly ordered. "Tell your 'homies" that it was an accident. Don't argue with me. They have a... an acquaintance of mine. If he dies, you die!"

"I'll do it," said one. "Remember," Catwoman reminded him. "You can't get away from the cops - or me - by running." He must have understood, because soon after he left the whole restaurant went black.

By pulling her nightvision lenses over her eyes, Catwoman could see in the dark like the cat she was. She went back downstairs, stopping only to press against a wall to clear a path for The Joker's four henchmen, obviously wanting to know what was going on.

The only tricky part was getting past The Joker and Harley Quinn without getting spotted. Fortunately, they had no lights and were angrily sitting in chairs a good distance from Batman. With difficulty, Catwoman sneaked past them and got to Batman's chair. He was unconscious, so Catwoman felt his throat. He had a pulse. Catwoman smiled.

Don't celebrate yet. Catwoman used her claws to remove the screws holding the manacles over Batman's arms. These locks are amateur hour. Placing Batman's right arm around her neck and her left arm around Batman's waist, Catwoman carefully dragged him up the stairs and out of the building. Into Selina's car they went.

Batman was still unconscious. Good. Even if he wakes up, he needs a license plate to connect me to Selina Kyle. Only hard part is figuring out why I've gone to all this trouble for a sworn enemy. You better appreciate this, Batman!

Just to be safe, Catwoman got out and threw away the license plate before drving towards the area where she and Batman had last fought. Halfway to the area, Catwoman heard Batman groaning. "Welcome back," Catwoman smiled at him.

"Where are we?" asked Batman.

"On the way to your car."

"The last thing I remember is getting electrocuted by The Joker."

"I saved your ass!"

"I was afraid you'd say that."

Caesarion moved onto Batman and began licking his face. "Not surprised he likes you," said Catwoman. "He helped talk me into this."

"Is it just he that likes me?"

"You flatter yourself," Catwoman said in a hard-to-get way.

"Enough small talk," said Batman. "When we get to the Batmobile, I'm taking the both of you to GCPD headquarters."

Catwoman was shocked! "What?! If it weren't for me, you be dead!"

"I've got rehabilitation envisioned for you," Batman explained himself. "You'll thank me in a year, so from my point of view, this is paying my debt to you. Besides, my duties to this city supercede any debt. This is something you can never understand."

"Betrayal aside," Catwoman saw she wasn't changing Batman's mind, "How can you take me in? I don't even know if you can walk. How can you take me in, asshole? Hell, with how ungrateful you are, why shouldn't I kidnap you?"

"I have gas pellets and know how to shield myself from them," rebutted Batman. Catwoman didn't.

"But I can take off your mask," argued Catwoman. "Then I've got leverage." Batman began laughing out loud. "What's so goddamn funny that even you have to laugh at it?" demanded Catwoman. She hadn't even thought that Batman could laugh.

"You couldn't bear to let Joker kill me," Batman put everything together. "And now you're threatening to ruin me? You don't have it in you."

Catwoman sadly focused on the road. Batman was right. Catwoman realized that she had been betrayed by love. It was about to put her behind bars. The ugly ending of her dream had been more prophetic than she realized.

The Joker's perspective:

The lights came back on. "Now where were..." The Joker paused to see Batman out of the electric chair, though it had reactivated after the power came back on.

"Looks like he's gone," explained Harley Quinn. "I know that, you idiot," said Joker.

His henchmen came back down the stairs, also shocked that Batman had escaped. "You should've had us get flashlights, boss," criticized one.

"Uh-oh..." said one of the other three. "You just committed suicide, chowder head," said a more festive Harley. The Joker picked up his assault rifle, set it to let out single shots, and nailed the unfortunate Antonin Butoro. The reader hardly knew him.

"Batsy hasn't won anything," declared Joker. He's weak from the electricity, though if he makes it back to the Batmobile, he's got a recovery period coming. Let's go put that wounded animal out of his misery!"

Catwoman's perspective:

Catwoman knew that she should have listened to the voice in her head telling her to let Batman die. Now she was helping Batman to his car to be taken to jail. Caesarion was following. "Don't try making a break for it because I'm not one hundred percent," warned Batman. "If I'm awake, I can shoot straight."

As they neared the Batmobile, they heard a voice say, "Bad cat. He's mine."

Batman and Catwoman looked to see that The Joker, Harley Quinn, and three henchmen had tracked them down. Joker had an assault rifle and others had an automatic pistol apiece except for the athletic Harley, who had two.

"Weren't there six of you?" asked Batman. "He had a big mouth," explained Joker. That explained it.

"How cute," sad Harley sarcastically. "The Catwoman's come in the man of her dreams' hour of need. We'll be sure to bury you dipshits together!"

"I have a plan," whispered Batman. He always seemed to. "Just keep them talking." He used his cape to hide what he was doing.

Catwoman released Batman and held up her arms. "She's right, Joker," she said. "I came to help Batman, but I shouldn't have. You're just too great a criminal. He couldn't stop you, so what was I thinking? Why even try?" Little do you know, you're gonna eat these words!

Or not. Catwoman saw out the corner of her eye that Batman wasn't finished. "Did I mention that you turn me on?" Catwoman made up something to buy Batman more time.

"You'd better tell her that I'm your girfriend," demanded Harley. "She's right," said Joker. "You're a pretty one, but she'd kill me. Bye-bye, guano and flea farm." He and his accomplices all aimed their guns.

Suddenly, a gas bomb shot out of the front of the Batmobile and hit the ground near The Joker and company. Catwoman heard a lot of coughing. Batman had done it again. She was about to motion for a high-five before she remembered that she was also on Batman's list despite having saved his life.

Out of the gas cloud came The Joker and Harley. Catwoman's jaw dropped. "Our mutation has left us immune to all but the deadliest of poison," explained Joker. "So sorry."

"We'll see who'll be sorry," said Catwoman. Using her matchless speed, she whipped the pistols out of Harley's hands and cracked the whip again on The Joker's rifle, ruining the aim but not knocking it free. Catwoman hissed and pointed at Harley to sic Caesarion on her.

Caesarion dived at Harley but was caught under the chin with a backflipping kick. Retrieving one of her guns, Harley said, "Gotta put you down, ya mangy beast!" But Caesarion clawed Harley on the wrist to make her drop the gun, then tackled her and started roaring. Harley was frozen with fear.

Meanwhile, Catwoman was cartwheeling and flipping to avoid The Joker's bullets. Eventually, the magazine emptied. He reached for his suit flower but acid was easier to dodge. Catwoman maneuvered up close so she could cut off the flower with her claws.

Catwoman dodged what looked like a slow punch by her standards and responded with a low kick that dislocated Joker's left knee. He fell, clutching the knee in pain and screaming. Catwoman stuck all ten claws into his gut to hurt him some more. "Don't kill him," demanded Batman.

"Relax," said Catwoman. "I'm just punishing the son of bitch. I know my limits." She faced a moaning Joker. "And for the record, the idea of being with you makes my fur stand up," Catwoman cleared the air, then administered the knockout kick.

Catwoman again hissed, this time to get Caesarion off Harley. By now, Harley was mentally paralyzed. Catwoman lifted her up into a kneeling position.

"You're screwin' up," said Harley. "You're a dumbass if you think savin' him means he'll let you go, much less live happily ever after with you. To him you're no different me an' Mistah J. Face it, Cats, you're not good enough for him. Walk away. Let us kill 'im an' we're all free!"

"You're right about all that," said Catwoman. "The answer's no." I said what? I had a chance to avoid prison and be rid of pointy-ears? Why? Maybe because I had to.

Harley frowned. "And they call me an' Mistah J crazy. You are one pathetic doormat, you know that?"

"I can't argue with that," said Catwoman. "But I'm sure you can relate, can't you?" Before Harley had a chance to argue, Catwoman had punched her out.

Catwoman turned to Batman. The front of the Batmobile was a straight line from Catwoman. "You'll never get a cleaner shot," she said.

"That's right."

"It really doesn't matter that I saved you, does it."

"It doesn't matter more than Gotham. Almost, but not quite."

"Don't make this harder on both of us. Just gas us and get it over with."

"I will... after a thirty-second headstart."

That was music to Catwoman's ears. She quickly lead Caesarion back to Selina's car and hit the gas! They had to get clean away before those thirty seconds were up. Once again, Catwoman felt that she'd better not take another look back at Batman. She no longer trusted herself to not go to prison for her Dark Knight.

Selina's perspective:

"How'd it go?" asked Sabisia.

"Two things. Number one, he owes me."

"Good for you, girlfriend," Sabisia held her hand up. Selina slapped it.

"The other thing is that he kept saying that he'd take me in anyway, although he didn't in the end. This amorous war is getting more and more interesting..."

Bruce's perspective:

Back in house clothes, Bruce had climbed the stairs into Wayne Manor. "Thank Heaven you're safe," said Alfred, running towards Bruce and hugging him.

Bruce groaned in pain. "I was electrocuted," he explained. "I need a good night's sleep or two."

"Sorry."

"This night revealed flaws of mine that I have to work on. First, where's Dick?"

"Robin is looking for you."

"Call him. Tell him I won't add to his suspension for violating it. Second time I've gone soft this night."

"What was the first time, sir?"

"For once, Batman didn't save the day. The Catwoman rescued him. Even in his weakened condition, he had a chance to bring her in once and for all but let her go."

"Why?"

Bruce thought on this. "Would you like the excuse or the real reason?"

"How about the excuse first?" grinned the jovial Alfred.

"I owed her so I let her go this time... but only this time. This is the real reason: she felt betrayed that I was going to take her to the police on the night she saved my life. So I let her go. Because if I didn't, I knew she'd never speak to me again."

Hope you enjoyed this story. I think twenty chapters is enough. I'm taking a 2-3 week break. After that, I'll do a new fanfic set a year after the events of this one. Look on my profile for that when the time comes.