All The Good Things Are Not Yours

Chapter 1

Chakotay knew it'd been bound to happen at some point. He just never expected it to be him that she eventually moved on with. The sight of them together, while outwardly appearing friendly, sent a pang of discomfort through him. He knew them both far too well to be able to ignore the overly friendly touching she was doing to the other man's chest and shoulder. And to the attentive and intense look the other man was giving her, the way his hand strayed to the curve of her back as they stood together talking.

It was taking everything in Chakotay to tear his eyes away from the startling scene unfolding before him. The Annual Starfleet Ball, the first Starfleet function the Senior staff had been invited too since their arrival home 10 months ago, was not the time nor the place to get into it with either of the people currently taking up his focus. He restrained from huffing as he forced his eyes away from the pair to look around the rest of the Senior Staff of Voyager, wondering about their reactions. None of them seemed even mildly surprised.

Huh. Chakotay thought. This meant that Kathryn Janeway and Harrison Ayala's association, he refused to acknowledge it as a relationship until he knew for sure, was not a recent thing. And somehow, that thought stung far worse than the idea that they were in fact together. With a sigh, he turned away from them and headed towards the bar, ordering himself a drink.

He was leaning against it, keeping his eyes away from the corner of the hall they were in, when he felt someone lean against the bar beside him. He barely had to glance to know it was B'Elanna, no doubt coming over to admonish him for acting like a loner. Turning to her, he couldn't quite decipher the look on her face as he took a drink; he had a feeling he'd be needing liquid courage about now.

"B'Elanna," he acknowledged with a smile. "How's Miral and Tom?" He asked casually, keeping his eyes focused behind the bar.

He could practically feel B'Elanna's eye roll as she ordered a drink for herself. Still, he wasn't going to be having this conversation with her if he could help it. Things hadn't been the smoothest between them since they'd gotten home and he'd taken up with Seven. As a matter of fact, things hadn't been the smoothest with anyone since the revelation of his relationship with the ex-Borg. Kathryn had, surprisingly, been the only one to show any happiness or support towards them.

"They're great," B'Elanna replied curtly. She turned fully towards him then, arms crossed as she regarded him. "Miral's a little firecracker, not surprising. And Tom's his usual, troublesome self. But that's not why I came over. Why are you over here, acting like a sour ass?" She questioned bluntly.

Chakotay snorted at her phrase, shaking his head. "I'm not acting like a sour anything B'Elanna. I just wanted a drink," he told her, lifting his glass a little off the table.

"And I'm Kahless' mother," she barked out, shaking her head at her old friend. "You've been a grump all night! Ever since the Cap - Oh." B'Elanna stopped speaking then, glancing at him curiously. "Is this about the Captain and Ayala?" She asked, voice dropping to a whisper.

"Is there a Captain and Ayala?"

"Kahless! You didn't know? We figured Janeway would've told you," B'Elanna intoned, shaking her head at Chakotay. "Though they did say they wanted to keep it quiet for a while," she continued almost as an afterthought, shrugging at her own words.

Chakotay snorted. "An official Starfleet function isn't exactly keeping it quiet," he muttered almost bitterly. A strange look crossed B'Elanna's face then and Chakotay straightened, staring at her intensely. "What B'El?" He asked impatiently.

B'Elanna sighed, glancing away from Chakotay to the Captain, then looking back at him again. "They've been...seeing each other for almost seven, eight months now. It must be serious," B'Elanna explained softly, surprised to see the depth of emotion on her old friends face.

Chakotay felt like he'd been sucker punched. For eight months two of his supposedly good friends had been dating and neither had felt it pertinent to let him know. In fact, it seemed like he was the last to know considering the complete and utter lack of shock he'd been presented with tonight. The painful feeling of betrayal seeped through him and suddenly he was angry.

How dare Kathryn move on with Ayala? And how dare Ayala pick Kathryn to pursue when he knew how Chakotay felt about her? How dare they both find each other!

He downed his drink, ignoring the alarmed look on B'Elanna's face. He straightened then, turning from the bar and setting his glaring gaze around the room. The anger bubbling up inside him was irrational, he knew this, even as he scanned the Ball for his former Captain and her new paramour.

"Chakotay!" B'Elanna began, a hand grasping his forearm. He wanted to shake her off but instead he ignored her, deciding it'd be easier. "Whatever you're thinking about doing, don't. They were both single and you gave up any claim to Kathryn when you started dating Seven!" The Klingon hissed, hand digging into his arm as she pulled him round to face her. "Leave them alone," B'Elanna continued softly, shaking her head at her old friend. "You have no right to be angry."

Her words made him stop, though his body was still coiled with tension. Chakotay didn't want to admit it but B'Elanna was right; he had no claim over Kathryn. He had started seeing Seven first and then continued dating her once they'd returned to the Alpha Quadrant. He really shouldn't be angry with his best friend for finding someone else, she had every right to do so.

But it was the fact that it was Ayala that truly grated on his nerves. Ayala, who had undoubtedly been his best male friend for years, was the one sleeping with Kathryn; the woman he'd at one point loved. Not only were they apparently dating but it wasn't like Chakotay didn't see either of them either; he'd had a boys night out with Ayala only two weeks ago. He could've been told, should have been told, a long time ago and he couldn't help but wonder why neither had broached the subject.

"I know B'Elanna," he sighed, attitude rolling off him in waves. "It's just a shock!" He exclaimed quietly, suddenly aware of the fact that there quite a few people milling about around them. "I mean...when? How did that even happen?" He asked curiously, finally looking at B'Elanna properly.

"A shock?" B'Elanna scoffed, looking at him in disbelief. "You really haven't been paying attention to anyone but yourself and Seven have you?" She

questioned. "It may not have been immediately obvious but we had our suspicions. The whole crew did. This isn't the first time they've attended something together. The first so openly sure. But the Christmas picnic a few months ago? They left together, Chakotay. The only reason Tom and I knew is because they had to declare the relationship to Starfleet. All that protocol because of different ranks; Owen mentioned it was nice to see Kathryn happy. Which, it is by the way. Nice to see her happy. Those last few years on Voyager certainly weren't like that."

Chakotay frowned as he listened to B'Elanna, annoyed at first before grudgingly accepting the truth of what she was saying. Since getting to the Alpha Quadrant he had been thoroughly wrapped up in his own life. He still counted Kathryn as his best friend, yet he'd managed to overlook something so obvious in her life that he was starting to doubt whether his best friend status was true. Not to mention B'Elanna's words about Kathryn being happy. B'Elanna was right, the last year or two on Voyager were not happy for Kathryn, she'd lost that sparkle in her eyes and that special smile that she'd carried through those first few tumultuous years in the Delta Quadrant.

On Voyager, he himself hadn't been in the best place to help her either. Their friendship, as well as their Command relationship, had at times been too strained to offer help. But they'd been back on Earth, in the Alpha Quadrant, for almost a year now and he hadn't taken a moment before now to really see Kathryn anymore. Maybe if he'd taken his head out of his ass earlier, he'd have noticed the change in Kathryn and why.

But Chakotay didn't feel like admitting to his faults today. "What about Ayala's wife? I doubt Dana's too happy about him swanning around with his former Captain?" He asked with a huff, a challenging eyebrow raised in B'Elanna's direction.

The look on B'Elanna's face however, told him he'd said entirely the wrong thing. "She found someone else while we were in the Delta," the Klingon told him sternly, shaking her head at her old friend. "They haven't been together since we got back. If you got your head out of your ass you'd have known that," B'Elanna growled, slapping at his shoulder. "And you have the audacity to call yourself a friend to either of them," she scoffed, taking a swallow of her drink.

Chakotay glared at her for a moment, letting her words sink in before crossing his arms defiantly. While it was true he'd been utterly absorbed with his own life, Kathryn and Ayala had both had plenty of chances over the past few months to tell him they were together. As he was about to remind B'Elanna. "They could've told me! I'm meant to be friends with them both but they kept quiet. Kathryn I can almost understand why she wouldn't tell me herself, but Ayala? He should've said something," he insisted, the anger coming back just a little.

B'Elanna sighed, he did have a point. Chakotay wasn't the only that hadn't been particularly communicative; especially in this situation. She'd thought, up until tonight, that Chakotay had known about Kathryn and Ayala but clearly that wasn't the case. They should've told him, and it certainly shouldn't have been up to her to spill the beans. Suddenly, she felt awkward.

"Okay, you're right. They should have. But going off half-cocked right now, isn't going to change anything," B'Elanna told him. She laughed then. "Surprisingly, I think you should let your anger settle before you talk to either of them. A big blowout fight here tonight? It'll be all over the Quadrant by morning and I know none of you want that," She counseled, finishing her drink.

"When did you get so wise, B'Elanna?" Chakotay asked, in lieu of admitting what she'd said was right.

B'Elanna chuckled, simply shrugging her shoulders. "Maybe you just weren't paying attention," she teased lightly. "I better get back to Tom. Before he gets too drunk and does something stupid." And with that, she turned from him and headed back towards her table.

Chakotay watched her go for a moment, still lost in his feelings and thoughts. He ordered another drink, this time taking it slowly as he cast his eyes around the hall again. Unwittingly, his eyes fell on Kathryn, becoming mesmerised by the beautiful dress she wore and the smile gracing her features. She looked like a dream. That was of course, until he noticed the hand holding hers lightly and leading her onto the dance floor.

The dance floor was filled with couples but not so many as to make it crowded, affording Chakotay a perfect view. Ayala gently tugged her closer, a hand still holding hers as his arm slipped around her waist to hold her back. He watched as Kathryn slipped a hand up to rest on his shoulder, the other settling in his hand. The couple waltzed smoothly, bodies close together, chatting as they danced. Chakotay couldn't help noticing the soft, gentle smile Kathryn was giving Ayala; the same smile she had used to give to him. Ayala smirked, bending down to whisper in Kathryn's ear, her husky laughter ringing out across the hall as she blushed.

It was in that moment that Chakotay realised he'd made a mistake.