AN: Okay, the plan with this is for the chapters to be a lot shorter than my other stories. There'll be a mixture of different chats, mostly group and a few one-on-ones, all revolving around Marinette (meaning only her private chats will be shown, and group chat after she's joined). It's just an experiment to try and have short chapters and have a fully chat-centric story, really.
Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc
group chat: wtb a brain for nino
marinara has joined the chat
marinara:
I'm not trying to start a war or anything
but she looked me dead in the eye and asked for a milkshake
full well knowing that the blender is fucking faulty
Alyarr:
arch nemesis back at it again?
marinara:
she fucking knows, I'm telling you
those coffee shop au stories are lying to you guys
it's not all sunshine and rainbows
Thani:
Mari.
marinara:
don't fucking mari me
you haven't experienced true pain until ice cream hits you in the face
at full speed
Alyarr:
I thought the worst was burning your fingers last week
what did I miss?
marinara:
I got milkshake in my eye
Thani:
I thought it was your face?
It sounds like you're making it all up now, Mari.
marinara:
listen
I'll fucking fight you if you want
Alyarr:
irl or not
marinara:
both
I can take him
Thani:
You probably come up to my shoulder.
marinara:
protect your knees
Thani:
I'll punt you without hesitation.
Alyarr:
careful
almost sounds like you two are flirting
marinara:
I'm not into that
Thani:
It was a long time ago, okay.
I'm completely over her.
marinara:
nath, it was last month
Thani:
Please leave me alone.
marinara:
I can't take you seriously when you type like a nun
Thani:
...Isn't a nun a bit extreme?
I'd like to think I sound like a teacher.
Alyarr:
nath
you sound like you sip tea really obnoxiously
marinara:
I second that
you're like the old man that comes in on wednesdays
Thani:
Sometimes, I wonder why I'm even here.
Alyarr:
you like mari
and gaming with us
it's a package deal
Thani:
Past tense.
I realised the error of my ways when she started fangirling.
marinara:
I resent that.
Thani:
Was that period really necessary?
I can't tell if you're mocking me or not.
marinara:
I would never.
Alyarr:
Why would anyone ever do that?
Thani:
…
marinara:
anyway
let's go back to my crisis
unless you two have spice to tell me
Alyarr:
go back to complaining
I'm fucking bored
marinara:
my pain is your entertainment?
Alyarr:
at least I'm honest
Thani:
My day always pales in comparison to you.
marinara:
aw
Thani:
I meant yours.
You really don't have to reject me all over again.
marinara:
what if I was about to ask you to sleep with me?
that could've been your chance, man
Thani:
Mari, you told me you'd never be able to love someone without a soul.
Alyarr:
to be fair
you didn't have to tell her you're ginger
Thani:
We were sharing details.
marinara:
I was drunk
stop judging me
Alyarr:
it was a pretty brutal rejection
marinara:
I thought he was joking!
Thani:
I'd really appreciate it if we went back to talking about your day.
Spare me the embarrassment.
marinara:
you're cute but it's like
younger brother cute?
I wouldn't be able to look at you and think mm
Alyarr:
mari
you've never even seen him
marinara:
what's your point?
he's never seen me but he wanted to bone
Thani:
I can't believe I ever thought you were cute.
marinara:
honestly same?
it was pretty wild
Alyarr:
I can confirm you're missing out
nath's pretty cute
Thani:
We need to stop using the word cute.
I'm starting to wince whenever I see it.
marinara:
you just said it yourself!
why won't anyone show me their selfies
Alyarr:
because you refuse to show yours
we've got a pact
Thani:
You've only been here two months.
marinara:
two months earns me a bad nickname
but not your pictures?
Thani:
Don't try to talk to me about bad nicknames.
marinara:
I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you thani
Alyarr:
you're marinara for life
I don't make the rules
ninny has joined the chat
ninny:
hey, losers
i come with great news
Alyarr:
finally got some common sense?
Thani:
You didn't put your milk in the dishwasher today?
ninny:
no but
im not a complete animal
have some faith
marinara:
I believe in you, ninny
ninny:
the nickname ruined it but thanks
youre a true pal, mari
Alyarr:
she just doesn't know how dumb you are yet
don't get too cosy
marinara:
are you marking your territory or what
Thani:
What's the news, Nino?
ninny:
thanis got my back
what a good bud
Thani:
I'm starting to feel like a dog.
marinara:
are you a good boy?
Alyarr:
mari stop
he'll start dreaming of you asking that
Thani has left the chat
ninny:
anyway
moving on
guess who made a new friend last night
marinara:
…
did you even make it into work on time?
Alyarr:
what do you mean last night?
you told me you were going to bed
ninny:
i did go to bed
but then i woke up and couldnt go back to sleep
so i soloqueued
marinara:
is this how you introduced me to the group
just out of nowhere
Alyarr:
it wasn't night but yes
he was salty you kept killing him
marinara:
what
ninny:
moving
on
Alyarr:
is this you asking permission to invite someone again?
ninny:
i dont need permission, alya
im in charge
marinara:
okay, bossman
who have you got for us?
I'm ready not to be the new guy
ninny:
idk he seems pretty chill
we played for like four hours
Alyarr:
that's longer than anyone can put up with you
dude deserves an award
ninny:
that hurts, alya
Alyarr:
someone has to tell you the truth
ninny:
my heart is broken
how can i go on like this
give me your eyepatch to put it on my wound
Alyarr:
I actually have glasses
not an eyepatch
ninny:
thats what you want us to think
anyway
im adding him in, dont scare him off
marinara:
I don't like what you're implying there
ninny has invited plagg to the chat
plagg has joined the chat
Alyarr:
don't be so mean to us ninny
ninny:
this is plagg
be nice to him
marinara:
plagg
how did you manage to play with him for so long?
plagg:
hello
what
Alyarr:
ninny
he usually quits after dying too much
we only get like five games together
ninny:
ignore them
my names still nino, please remember that
plagg:
ok
i'll try
marinara:
he seems innocent
how did you even convince him to be your friend?
ninny:
i didnt have to convince anyone
why are you all so mean to me
plagg:
he offered to help me get better
so i took him up on the offer?
Alyarr:
what
marinara:
what
ninny:
im regretting this
plagg:
oh, was i not supposed to say that?
sorry i'm new
to the game, i mean
Alyarr:
nino
plagg:
and here, i guess
this is very weird
marinara:
nino
you found someone worse than you?
ninny:
please leave me alone
Alyarr:
nath's gonna fucking love this
I can't believe it
plagg:
wait
you aren't all new too?
marinara:
nino what have you been telling this poor dude!
plagg:
he said we could learn together?
but if that's not the case
i don't mind leaving?
Alyarr:
no you're precious
you can stay plagg
marinara:
you might want a different teacher tho
ninny's terrible
plagg:
is that you offering?
because i'm not really picky
i've only been playing like three days
ninny:
stop stealing my friends
marinara:
I mean
I'm probably the best player here?
Alyarr:
don't be so modest
it makes me want to murder you
marinara:
you're not too bad
ninny:
youve never offered to teach me, mari
plagg:
i'm starting to think i was lied to
marinara:
you called me a hacker
ninny:
that was before i got to know you
now i know youre just annoying!
Alyarr:
you're welcome to play with us whenever plagg
but it's pretty rare for everyone to be on at the same time
might have to pick and choose
marinara:
move over, ninny
I'm gonna mentor plagg
so he'll fucking murder you
plagg:
but i don't want to murder anyone
Alyarr:
that'll change soon
plagg:
i don't even know you guys
why would i want to cause you harm?
marinara:
…
Alyarr:
I'm adopting him
-x-
private chat: Thani and marinara
marinara:
hey
you okay, nath?
Thani:
I'm fine.
marinara:
you sure?
sorry if we pissed you off or anything
Thani:
Honest.
I left the chat because I wanted to concentrate a bit.
marinara:
then you would've said bye like normal
I'm onto you
Thani:
I'm not mad.
marinara:
there's more emotions than just mad
do you want me to lay off with the teasing?
I get that I might not
be all that aware at times?
but I don't want to annoy you
Thani:
I don't want you to treat me any differently.
You don't have to change just because you don't like me back.
marinara:
but like
if it's making it awkward between us
Thani:
Mari, it was just a crush.
I'll get over it.
marinara:
idk man
I am pretty amazing
Thani:
Stop fishing.
marinara:
for real, though
if you ever want me to stop doing something
don't be afraid to say!
Thani:
I promise I'll tell you if anything ever happens.
marinara:
I'm holding you to that!
Thani:
You really don't have to change.
I'll still be up at night working, so we can continue talk then.
marinara:
you sure?
Thani:
You're a nice distraction from work.
marinara:
are you ever going to tell me what you do?
because I'm leaning towards mortician
Thani:
If you ever guess right, I'll tell you.
marinara:
fair
Thani:
Alya's not going to tell you, so don't even try bribing her.
marinara:
I'm offended you think I'd ever do that?
Thani:
Don't even try.
Even offering to help her rank up won't work.
marinara:
it's not my fault she doesn't want to play ranked without nino
and we all know how that goes!
Thani:
With a lot of caps lock?
I'm just glad we don't play with microphones.
marinara:
you don't want to hear my sweet voice?
Thani:
I hope you sound like a gargoyle so I'll be able to sleep easier at night.
marinara:
is that you saying I keep you up at night?
because you're the one that started talking to me first
Thani:
It was a terrible joke.
marinara:
I'll have you know I have a beautiful voice
and you're missing out
Thani:
I really don't want to hear you and Nino screaming at each other.
marinara:
honestly
that sounds like a great time
but I don't have a mic
Thani:
Let's keep it that way.
marinara:
have you heard him?
Thani:
Yeah.
He had a microphone before, but he spilled his drink on it.
marinara:
truly a ninny
Thani:
Pretty much.
It was mostly just him and Alya talking, though.
No one else could get a word in.
marinara:
I'm still betting nino will confess first
Thani:
You're wasting your time.
marinara:
someone has to believe in them
while you're rooting for them to be useless forever
Thani:
They've been like this for over a year.
Alya's never confessed to anyone in the past, this won't be an exception.
marinara:
fucking pessimistic
-x-
group chat: wtb a brain for nino
marinara has joined the chat
plagg:
no!
marinara:
what
ninny:
plagg stop
dont do this, buddy
you were doing so well
plagg:
i will not listen to this!
marinara:
did I come at a bad time?
ninny:
you should leave
right now
plagg:
please don't leave me with him
tomato please
marinara:
what
ninny:
nevermind
you can stay, tomato
marinara:
I know I was missing for two days
but I hoped I'd at least made an impression
plagg:
marinara's made with tomatoes?
marinara:
my parents aren't tomatoes
ninny:
im
marinara:
shut up, ninny
it's just a stupid nickname
everyone has one
plagg:
oh
i don't?
marinara:
yeah but you're new
need to befriend a few of us first
plagg:
with the promise of a nickname in the future?
ninny:
only bad ones allowed
dont get your hopes up
marinara:
please just call me mari
plagg:
ok ok
sorry if i offended you!
ninny:
mari, youve missed out on this pure child
he almost made alya cry yesterday
marinara:
alya cries at puppies
now what were you arguing about?
ninny:
no
plagg:
we were talking about streamers!
do you watch any?
marinara:
oh
plagg:
nino was asking why i started playing so late
i told him about accidentally finding a stream
and he's being so mean!
marinara:
that's because he's an idiot
and doesn't understand the appeal of watching someone else play
ninny:
i am right here!
marinara:
hey, dumbass
ninny:
fucking rude
plagg:
i've always loved watching others!
i never had the time to actually play until recently
so it's really strange being so bad
marinara:
cute
plagg:
do you know if anyone else watches?
i tried to get my friend into it but she found it boring
marinara:
some of us do, yeah
not all of us are haters like nino
plagg:
is that why he has no brain?
ninny:
i wont stand for this abuse
im going to work
ninny has left the chat
marinara:
nice guess but no
he's just really dumb
plagg:
he seems so smart though
everyone does!
marinara:
like
don't take this the wrong way
but you're not a kid, are you?
plagg:
huh
marinara:
it's just the vibe you're giving off?
plagg:
oh wow
no, no! i'm not!
i'm twenty, i promise
marinara:
what
plagg:
was i not supposed to say that?
i'm not really sure how this all goes
do we not give our personal info?
marinara:
it doesn't really matter
it's not like we're ever gonna meet up or anything
I mean
the others don't even know my actual name?
plagg:
i know it's not tomato!
marinara:
yes, thank you for that
I wanted to die
plagg:
is that sarcasm?
marinara:
you'll never find out, p
plagg:
p?
marinara:
I fucking shuddered
I just wanted to give you a nickname but
that was gross
plagg:
oh! does this mean i'm advancing to the next stage?
marinara:
you're pretty likeable
plagg:
nice
marinara:
I still feel like I'm talking to a kid
plagg:
is it because of the name?
it's actually my cat's name
i wanted something original since everyone has cool screennames
marinara:
if coolness to you means being your cat
we might need to have a chat
plagg:
but i've already got a cat
marinara:
stop
plagg:
you can call me adrien
if you want!
marinara:
oh
that's your name?
plagg:
yes
is it okay to call you mari?
marinara:
go for it
plagg:
ok cool
are you busy now?
marinara:
it's almost midnight
plagg:
that's not an answer
marinara:
I'm awake
plagg:
me too
do you wanna play?
marinara:
sure, why not
I don't have a mic though
plagg:
i'm used to using my fingers
i'm fine with typing!
marinara:
?
plagg:
i
i meant i play piano
marinara:
I'm fucking dead
-x-
private chat: Alyarr and marinara
marinara:
how could you not tell me how cute he is?
like
he's so fucking useless but it's endearing
he's even worse than nino
I didn't know that was possible
he saw my level and was so excited
I think I have an admirer
Alyarr:
mari
it's five am
marinara:
I know
I just stopped playing with adrien
Alyarr:
what
marinara:
plagg
that's his real name
he's like a little kid
Alyarr:
can you maybe
tell me all this later?
marinara:
oh
my bad!
-x-
group chat: wtb a brain for nino
marinara has joined the chat
plagg:
leave me alone!
marinara:
who's harassing you this time
Thani:
I haven't done anything.
marinara:
that doesn't sound convincing
adrien, watch out for this dude
he's a tricky one
plagg:
mari!
i was so worried about you
are you okay
marinara:
wait what
plagg:
you've been gone all day
i thought something happened
marinara:
because you kept me up all night?
Alyarr:
saying this in front of poor nath?
how could you guys
Thani:
I hope your love never becomes requited, Alya.
marinara:
burn
I've just been busy at work
didn't anyone tell you about my weird times?
Alyarr:
he didn't ask
Thani:
He's crying because Alya insulted his favourite streamer.
marinara:
don't ruin the kid's day
what's wrong with you, alya
you fucking pirate
Alyarr:
kid?
plagg:
but i'm twenty
Alyarr:
oh same
plagg:
that's cool!
marinara:
what do you mean same?
Alyarr:
?
what do you think I mean
marinara:
I thought you were older!
Alyarr:
idk if that's a compliment or not
nath's the same age as me
marinara:
?
how old is nino
does anyone know?
Thani:
No.
marinara:
this is fucking shocking
what is going on
Alyarr:
tell us about your day
enlighten adrien why we always ask you
marinara:
my arch nemesis came in again today
plagg:
wait what?
marinara:
it's some bitchy girl
that comes into the café and orders a milkshake
and it always ends in disaster with her looking all superior
while I get milkshake splattered on me
Alyarr:
I have a question
marinara:
no
Alyarr:
why not ask for a new blender?
it's obviously not working well
you've complained about it the whole two months I've known you
marinara:
because the owners would get upset about that
and I don't want that
Thani:
That means you're only going to suffer instead.
It's only a blender, Mari. I'm sure they'll replace it.
marinara:
it was a present from a dead relative of theirs
they're never going to part with it willingly
unless I smash it or something
plagg:
do it when there's no witnesses
your arch enemy can't see you
marinara:
alya, your son's trying to plot with me
is this how you raised him?
Alyarr:
he's dadless
I'm doing my best
plagg:
when did i get adopted?
marinara:
probably minutes after you first joined
nino's the creator but she pulls the strings
ninny has joined the chat
marinara:
alya just won't pull his trousers strings, sadly
so we're all suffering
ninny:
excuse me?
Alyarr has left the chat
marinara:
…
oh, come on
ninny:
do i even want to know
Thani:
Probably not.
plagg:
i am very confused
marinara:
I was just trying to get you a dad
anyway hi nino
how old are you?
ninny:
too old for this shit