Happy New Year!

I know some of you have been waiting patiently for this, so here you go! I feel the need to clarify that the only person writing and editing these chapters is me, sometimes I read it over and over again until I can't even tell if it makes sense anymore and just don't post because I'm not happy with it. This time around I listened to Miles Davis to get in the mood to write when I was frustrated. I'm still kind of disappointed in myself that I couldn't hold out a little longer with the build up, Spike is such a hard character to get a grasp of, but I sincerely hope you enjoy! Please read and review :)

EDIT: Also shit, I'm sorry to anyone who snapped up the new chapter right away, I should have put here, there is a slight trigger warning for brief discussion of attempted rape. There is hardly any detail, but protect yourself and dm me I can maybe send you an edited version without it if you'd still like to read!

Spike had crossed a boundary tonight, and that became utterly clear long before they ever actually made it to the casino.

The carefree teasing attitude that Faye had adopted on the way in to the party seemed like a distant dream. No more casual touches and fleeting glances; instead she only regarded him with the barest of smirks out of the corner of her eye.

She's looking to me to take the lead on this.

Spike's realization made him feel stupid and rusty at dealing with women. Of course she would be taking her cues from him, the metaphorical ball had been firmly in his court ever since he had left the Bebop looking for Vicious over a year ago now. And he hadn't exactly handled the situation delicately… he chose avenging Julia over a living woman who had all but laid herself bare before him. Faye trusted him to have her back on jobs, but not with her heart. That was something he would have to earn back. Spike wasn't sure how he was going to go about it, especially since he was still so shocked at himself for admitting that he wanted that trust to begin with. There went his rule book just right out the window. He also had a sneaking suspicion that she was enjoying watching him so utterly out of his element; it was still Faye after all, Spike could allow her a little smugness.

They hadn't talked much on the way out of the party, managing to sneak out without seeing Ben, which surprised Spike. He was certain Faye would want to at least say goodbye, but she just breezed right out the front door without looking back.

Once they had squeezed back into the RedTail together, it was a different story. All of that confidence seemed to fade away, and she barely risked a few sidelong glances at him. She managed to pilot them to a smallish casino without incident, she probably had the address of every casino on Mars memorized. This time when Spike disembarked first, he turned around offering his hand to help her climb down, handicapped as she was in the tight dress and heels.

She looked up from her feet in surprise when Spike's large hand darted in front of her face, but she took it gratefully, though her grip didn't linger.

He automatically dug into his suit jacket pocket, (This is Ben's suit, he dimly remembered) for his pack of cigarettes. He tapped lightly on the bottom of the pack and fished out two, placing one indelicately between his lips before offering the second to Faye. One of her eyebrows rose,

"Spike Spiegel being generous with his cigarettes? Alright, who are you and what have you done with the real Spike?"

"Just take it woman. You steal 'em all the time anyways, might as well just head you off at the pass. Quick before I change my mind."

She just grinned and snatched it away, placing it in her mouth, Spike could see the filter was already stained with her lipstick when he leaned forward to offer her a light as well. This offer she took gracefully, giving him a sultry, if somewhat incredulous, look through her long eyelashes as she leaned in to meet him halfway.

This was more familiar territory. Who could count how many nights they had shared silence out on the deck of the Bebop or lazily on the couch, smoking? Only this time Spike observed her more unabashedly than ever before. A thought occurred to him that might get him in trouble, but he voiced it anyway.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

She raised her eyebrows again. They're going to get stuck there someday if she keeps doing that, Spike mused.

"Seeing as I don't think you have, ever, sure I suppose I can entertain it just this once," her tone was joking, but she narrowed her eyes in suspicion all the same.

"Why do you dress… the way you do? I mean beyond being a honey trap for jobs and free drinks." After a particularly harsh glare from Faye, Spike back tracked slightly, "Don't get me wrong I'm not necessarily complaining," and he shoots her a brief lecherous grin, "But aren't you worried some creep is going to catch you off guard someday and well..."

Faye's fury calmed into seeming bemused pity, "Typical man. You don't understand, if some creep wants to rape me, yeah if you're going to bring it up have the balls to say the word, he's going to do it no matter what I'm wearing. Well, maybe not me particularly because I'd shoot his dick off before it got that far…" she seemed to sink inward for a moment and shivered subconsciously.

Shit, I didn't think I'd step in it that badly. Has something already happened…?

A wave of rage and sadness swept through him quite unexpectedly.

"Faye?" he said her name almost hesitantly.

"No I'm fine," she barked and her walls were back up. Before she could continue with her tongue lashing, Spike managed to make her eyebrows shoot up once again, when he swiftly removed his jacket (Ben's, he conceded mentally with a grumble) and placed it over Faye's shoulders. After her initial surprise she clenched her jaw, but her eyes seemed to soften as she took a lengthy drag on her cigarette.

When he didn't immediately explain his actions, Faye shot him another searching look. Spike shrugged and replied,

"One result of you showing so much skin is I can always tell when you're cold."

She glared and Spike realized his misstep, "Not like that, Jesus. Your arms are covered in goosebumps. C'mon, let's just get inside. Are you going to lose all my money or aren't you?"

Faye stomped out her cigarette butt and Spike followed suit. She spared him one glance over her shoulder before she took off down the walkway to the casino's entrance at a fast pace. Spike sighed to himself with a small smirk before he followed in his loping long legged gait a few paces behind.

To his surprise Faye, made a beeline for the casino's small lounge and bar instead of the blackjack tables. She chose a secluded table with comfy looking burgundy loveseat and matching armchair, and flopped down. She propped her legs up across from her, effectively stretching out and taking up the whole of loveseat. She wrapped herself up in the jacket Spike had given her more tightly, then raised her arm to signal a server. When Spike took a seat at the open armchair a youngish woman with strawberry blonde hair wearing the typical server's uniform of white shirt and black pants, approached and asked pleasantly,

"Good evening. What can I get started for you? Just drinks or are we thinking about food too?"

Faye answered before Spike could get a word out, "House whiskey, just bring us a bottle and some glasses," as an afterthought, "Please."

The server was obviously experienced because she didn't bat an eye before she looked over to Spike with an expectant look, "Anything else sir?"

He just smirked, "Whiskey'll be fine for me. Just bring the lady here what she wants."

Faye looked like anything but a lady at the moment, sprawled out in a casino lounge at nearly midnight with one hand pinching the bridge of her nose. The unladylike image was compounded when she let out a loud snort and replied,

"Yes and the gentleman will be footing the bill, so you can tell Bucky not to call the bossman. Don't worry I'm not going to dine and dash again, Spike's good for whatever we owe. Aren't you?"

She directed the last two words to Spike in a sugary sweet voice, batting her eyelashes for effect. This time the server stiffened slightly, but left with a little bow, and a, "Yes, Ms. Valentine," returning a few minutes later with the bottle and glasses.

Once the server left Faye wasted no time in pouring herself a quick two fingers, downing it immediately and then pouring herself another. All before she graciously poured a glass for Spike as well.

He wasn't sure if he should be offended that she seemed not to want to be sober in his presence. Heh, a little liquid courage never hurt anyone, Spike thought, quite incorrectly, but that didn't really matter at the moment. He downed his own glass without breaking eye contact with Faye.

"So, dining and dashing, huh? Even I haven't stooped that low, and I am usually the go-to guy for moral depravity. What are we, returning to the scene of the crime? The servers even have your name on file, and who's Bucky?" he teased.

"Oh please don't even try to get the moral high ground with me Mr. ex-mafia man. I was hungry, I had just lost a bet, I don't want to explain myself to you," then she shrugged, exhaling to calm herself, "Bucky is the barkeep. He's decent people, but he told me that I shouldn't show my face here until things 'cooled off.' It's been a couple months but I don't really feel like going to the casino Ben's family owns and us showing up on all the security footage."

"So that's how he has so much money," Spike mused.

"Yeah and look at me sitting here with some low life in a borrowed suit instead of hamming it up with the socialites, what was I thinking?"

"Yeah, what were you thinking Faye?"

He'd meant the question to be rhetorical but the liquid courage seemed to be kicking in because she fixed him with a contemplative, if slightly unfocused, gaze and actually answered.

"You've never asked anything from me so sincerely before. I wanted to see where this would go."

Spike swallowed thickly, but before he could think of how to reply Faye cut him off.

"Okay, my turn."

"Your turn, what?" Spike's brown quirked as he asked.

"My turn to ask a question. It'll be like truth or dare with only truth."

Uh-oh, the sensible part of Spike's brain had time to think before his mouth moved seemingly on its own,

"Ok, shoot."

"Why'd you waste the favor I owed you on asking me here? The Spike I know would have much preferred me cleaning the Swordfish with nothing but a toothbrush or something."

Even though he was attempting to fight off a blush, Spike couldn't help but chuckle a little. That had been one of the things he had fantasized about just a few hours earlier.

"You know, the Spike I know would have liked that too."

"So," she prompted him after his non-answer, "What changed?"

He'd have to tread lightly. He still wasn't sure how to answer that question even for himself.

"It probably happened a while ago, without me noticing," he grumbled acquiescing only slightly to her curiosity. Spike knew enough about women to know that, 'Fuck if I know,' while perhaps the most honest answer at the moment, was probably not what she wanted to hear.

"Well that I believe. You're so perceptive about most things, but you're really dense too, you know that?"

"Not dense, just stubborn," he replied jutting his chin out slightly.

"Oh yeah, that too," Faye lifted her drink as if in a toast and sipped with a wide grin.

He tried to change tactics, "So, that was like three questions. Is it my turn now?"

"No, that was one main question with one follow up question. And don't think I haven't noticed you still didn't really answer. And, I needed to pay you back for that question out in the parking lot."

"Well sorry about that. Again," he couldn't help rolling his eyes, apologies never were his strong suit.

"Ok Cowboy, buckle up. Here's story time and you don't even need to ask because I'm angry and buzzed enough that you're going to listen whether you want to or not,"

She gave herself a moment and slammed back the rest of her current glass of whiskey, wiping off her mouth with the back of her hand before she continued. She placed the empty glass on the small round table between them and reclined once more, closing her eyes.

"I saw the look in your eyes back there. It changed when you thought I had been raped. I'm not telling this to make you pity me. Maybe I'm telling you to make you feel guilty, I'm not above that I guess because it still pisses me off. But you saved me again, without even meaning to, not that any time you have you really meant to, I was always more incidental to you I think. But now I'm off track. Vincent had me. I was drugged, totally incapacitated and he was about this close, to being raped by the creep. He got some communication that you had been making trouble for his plans and decided that was more important. He just left me there and I picked myself up and made my way back to the Bebop a couple hours later. None of you had any idea and I liked it better that way."

Spike not for the first time that evening, had no idea how to respond. He wouldn't apologize again, that obviously was not what she needed or wanted from him.

Maybe I've misunderstood something here... this isn't a date, this is an inquisition. I was stupid to think this would go any other way.

Faye was going to make him answer for all the ways he had failed her in the past.

Well I'm going to get some of my own goddamn answers too.

"Why do you get to be angry at me about that? Maybe I am just a stupid man, but how was I supposed to know or do anything if you didn't tell us?"

Faye snorted and sat up, fixing him with what must have been the 50th angry glare of the evening.

"Yeah ok tell you and then what? Get my heart smashed to pieces yet again when you revealed just how little you cared? You still don't get it. I don't wish you had burst through the door and carried me to safety like some white knight, just wished you cared. I didn't have anyone or anywhere to belong, you were guys were the closest things I had to friends and you still barely treated me better than dirt. Can't you see how that would trash a girl's self esteem?"

"You don't get to cop out now Valentine. You wanted much more than that from me, even I, Mr. Dense and Stubborn could see that. I didn't want to over step and get your hopes up only to disappoint you."

Faye almost dropped the whisky bottle mid-pour.

"So you did - You would have cared if you screwed up and I left... You're not totally off the hook yet but… it's a start."

Women. You never fucking can tell what it will be that gets through their thick skulls.

Spike sighed to himself, thanking his lucky stars he finally seemed to have said the right thing.

"Yes Faye, as much as I tried to deny it, you've weaseled your way into my life," but the sarcasm was lacking it's usual edge.

"But in the end you still chose Julia…"

Spike knew he was in trouble again with the way she uttered Julia's name, with such wistful sadness.

"Well since we are sitting across from each other right now, I'll remind you that it turned out not the be the end," before she could cut him off Spike continued, speaking slightly louder to drown out her objection, "Yes maybe that was my plan at the time. I tried to tell you the best way I knew how. There was no way I could ever hope to truly live in the present with the past playing out in one eye, still haunting me. I had to choose her. I had to see for myself if this was all just a dream…"

"And if I had any self-respect I'd tell you to shove it and go back to my party with, what did you call him, Prince Charming."

"But you didn't tell me to shove it. You saved my life. I never thanked you. I never thought mine was a live worth saving, worth thanking you for saving. I'm still not sure I believe it myself, but cheers to you being my white knight I guess."

Faye's lips curled into a smile outwardly against her will, but Spike saw it. She looked mischievous and troublesome and yet vulnerable and oh so beautiful. He felt emboldened by that slight quirk at the corner of her mouth. Spike put down his glass and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees clasping his hands together.

"Is it alright if I kiss you?"

"What?!"

Faye reeled forward, the whites of her eyes wide and luminous.

"I want to kiss you now. Can I?"

Faye suddenly seemed very shy, pulling her chin in to her chest and twirling a strand of hair before she tucked it behind an ear, but her voice was attempting to remain cocky and unaffected.

"I never pegged you as being the kind of guy who asks first."

Spike chuckled before he reached out to take her hand in his, carefully tracing her delicate fingers with his too large callused ones.

"You know Valentine, you have all these ideas about me in your head, I think I'm going to enjoy proving them all wrong."

His hand ghosted up the length of her arm ending at her ear where he traced the way Faye had tucked her hair there just moments before. She leaned into his touch and her eyelids fluttered closed seemingly against her better judgement, because she also let out a long exasperated sigh.

Suddenly Spike's throat felt very dry as he thought about just how long it had been since he had slept with a woman. Since he had wanted to sleep with one. And this wasn't just any woman, this was Faye, veritable sex bomb and one of his few friends. Though he probably wouldn't have admitted to thinking about her that way before a few days ago. Wasn't that the crux of this whole situation?

Spike is saved the embarrassment of this paralyzation when a loud buzzing from Faye's clutch purse begins. She opens her eyes shooting him an apologetic look before she grabs it, fumbling slightly, to see who's calling.

When she groans and says, "Hang on it's Ben," Spike tries, unsuccessfully, not to let himself gloat at the way she answers so reluctantly. Faye got out of her seat and meandered maybe five steps away to take the call with a semblance of privacy, but Spike wasn't really listening.

Two days ago she was sprinting across the Bebop to take this guy's call. Guess I still got it.

He closed his eyes and folded his arms behind his head, leaning back slightly feeling like he had the evening pretty much in the bag. He was rather rudely awakened by the feeling of whisky splashing in his face.

He spluttered and wiped off his face, yelping, "Jesus what was that for?"

Opening his eyes now that they were dried off, Spike took in Faye looming as best she could above him with a tick forming at her right temple.

"You asshole!" she answered indignantly.

"What did I do now woman?" Spike whined, trying to wipe the sticky alcohol off his hands.

"Ben told me… You were trying to play it to me like you were rescuing me from some scummy weirdo… when really you just tried to bait him into an argument and then got angry when you lost! Ben told me you said something about us not being like brother and sister grinning like you fucking had an ace in the hole. He told me he kept his cool and just offered you a ride back to the Bebop, and you decided to try to one up him by stealing me away. You told me you've never thought of me of an object to be won, but that's exactly what you did! What am I to you, just some stupid shrew you keep around to boost your ego when you need it? I knew it, I fucking knew this was some fucking stupid pissing contest. Goddamn you Spike."

Faye made to grab for her purse, and to his horror Spike saw tears sparkling at the corners of her eyes. Angry Faye he could deal with, but crying Faye?

Should have known that escape from Prince Charming was too easy. Bastard was probably planning this as soon as he saw us leave.

Spike grabbed her arm and pulled her down a hallway, the opposite direction of the front entrance, he did not want to have to call Jet to pick him up if Faye stranded him here.

"Let go of me you Bastard!" Faye was clawing at the vice grip Spike had on her wrist, spitting and sputtering like an enraged stray cat. But Spike didn't let go, he wasn't sure when exactly it had been triggered, but his own not inconsiderable temper had been raised.

Once they were a good 15 feet down the hallway, Spike spun her out of his grasp and she stumbled, rubbing at her wrist where he had touched her like she had been burned. But he still didn't let her get away. He used his height to back her up against the wall glaring down at her.

"So it's my turn for this 20 questions or whatever the fuck we were playing right? Why do you automatically trust this guy over me? You've known me for what almost 4 years, and it's this inner battle of, 'Oh Spike is such a scoundrel, I couldn't possibly take a chance with him,' but within three days of knowing Prince Charming you'd take his word over mine? What the hell? Am I really so untrustworthy?"

"What am I supposed to think Spike? You haven't ever 'entertained,' my silly infatuation with you until tonight. After three years of putting me down and rejecting me…" she lost some of her steam and the tears threatened to return to her eyes, "At least Ben admits that he wants me, that he likes me."

"I want you. You hear me. I do. Me. You really believe that I've known you and that goddamn loud mouth of yours and never once thought about fucking you until you'd shut the hell up-"

"But if that's all you want I'm not sure - I mean God, you think you're alone? I'd love to wipe that stupid smirk off your face the best way I know how, but we live together. We work together. I depend on you for life or death shit. I can't be fucking you one minute and second guessing myself to death the next. Ben is easy, 'complicated,' has your picture next to it in the dictionary Spike."

"You gotta throw me a bone Faye. I've just figured out that I want to be alive at all. I don't think you really want to be my reason for living do you? That seems like a lot of pressure to me. Give me a little more time. I'm a stupid man remember?"

Spike pushed away from her and leaned against the opposite wall in the hallway crossing his arms, taking a moment to cool off. He regarded her carefully, she wasn't curling in on herself, and she wasn't hands-on-hips fuming anymore either. A good sign, so he continued,

"Hell, I'm not that complicated Faye. I hope you know that no matter what 'personal' matters we may or may not decide to uh, do, I'll have your back out there. I would never just leave you hanging on the line when it comes to your life. My life may be worth shit, but I'll do my best to protect yours."

Shit. How many rules did I just break? Too late now, fuck it.

"That's why you gotta trust me on this. Ben may seem straightforward but my gut says there's something not right there. You gotta trust I have your best interest in mind, ok Romani, can you do that?"

Now Faye had reverted back to the shy body language he recognized only from about two minutes before when Spike was about to kiss her. His face split into a smug-ish grin, he couldn't help it, it was the one she loved anyway.

She tried to save face,

"I don't think I've ever heard you talk so much at once…"

He interrupted her,

"Do I still get my kiss, or did I blow it?"

"I don't know…" she looked anywhere but at him, but when she finally did meet his eyes she stuttered, "Stop grinning like that."

"Like what Valentine?"

He took one long gangly step and was back at her side, this time hopefully leaning seductively rather than looming ominously. By the blush that colored her cheeks, Spike guessed the former was correct. He didn't stop grinning.

"So Faye," and he grabbed her chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head towards him, "What's the verdict?"

It only took the slightest of nods for Spike to swoop down and kiss her deeply, he didn't do things by halves. He slid one hand back to the nape of her neck by way of caressing her ear, while the other was flat against the wall by her side, effectively trapping her in his arms. Really he just didn't want to press his luck and accidentally put his hand somewhere she deemed it didn't belong yet. His hand on the wall curled into a fist, his own fingernails pushing into his palms in restraint.

She tasted like lipstick and whiskey, but it felt strangely and kind of wonderfully exhilarating to be kissing her. Her. Feisty, fast talking, sexy as all hell, formally forbidden territory, Faye. When she seemed to sigh into him, grabbing his lapels and pulling him even closer, something behind Spike's eyes went "kaput" and he felt toe curling warmness form in his belly. A distant but not entirely unfamiliar feeling of desire and being desired in return.

Despite his usual shrewdness, Spike, even before tonight, would grudgingly admit that Faye was one of the few people who could catch him off guard. Hell she could pickpocket him without him noticing sometimes, something a veteran street urchin like Spike was secretly ashamed of.

But none of that compared with the recoil he felt in his gut when she finally pulled away and looked up at him with the cheekiest smeared lipstick smile. Now who's the schoolgirl Spike-o, he chastised himself and resisted literally shaking his head like a dog to return to his senses. He remembered watching the tape, seeing 16 year old Faye cheering her heart out for herself when he looked down at her now, she seemed so enraptured and fresh and beautiful. She was so honest in her affection for him, no sneaking around, no other man who happened to be his best friend; the way she looked and usually acted it was so easy to forget that she was really just a few years out of adolescence. That was what did him in, the kiss was supposed to be flirtatious and ultimately just a challenge for more banter, but she had reduced his brain to mush. He was supposed to be the dominant one here, but her innocent joy at kissing him and being kissed by him was a much better drug than most anything else Spike had sampled and he was quite unexpectedly feeling a little weak at the knees.

Faye's grin grew as she continued to observe his face, Spike internally assented that he probably did look pretty funny. He could feel the lipstick smeared across his own mouth, and he imagined looking up at himself through her eyes, a thoroughly kissed neanderthal version of himself staring dumbly down at her.

"Told you I could shut you up," she said with an insufferable tone of superiority, and she reached up to wipe some of the excess lipstick off of his mouth.

Coming back into his body a little bit, Spike leaned closer to her once again, placing his weight on his forearms flat against the wall, caging her with his body. This time he just huffed and tilted forward to rest his forehead on her shoulder. With pleasure he noted how she shuddered slightly from his hot breath on her neck, before he leaned away completely.

He offered her the crook of his arm, mirroring himself from earlier in the evening, "Come on, I'll escort you to the bathrooms. Don't take this the wrong way, but your makeup could use a little freshening up."

Faye just laughed and gleefully latched on, all distress forgotten, at least for now.

"I'll meet you back in the lounge. Bucky'll have a conniption fit if he thinks I've ditched the bill again. And you may want to stop by a mirror yourself. Red doesn't quite suit your skin tone Spiegel."

She giggled again and patted his shoulder before sauntering away. Spike knew she was overdoing it slightly to give him more of a view, but he wasn't complaining. When she turned the corner and left his sight, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.

Tonight has been a goddamn roller coaster.

The distressing question, What now? Threatened to rear its head, but Spike tamped that down easily. He was Spike Spiegel after all. Act first ask questions later. After tonight he definitely had enough of questions for a while.

Making his way into the men's room, he finally caught a glimpse of himself and his earlier estimations hadn't been far off. A faded red smear and stupid grin was painted across his face and he thought, This woman is going to be the death of me.

But Spike had died for a woman before, so he was going ensure he at least enjoyed the ride this time. The way he saw it, now that he had finally decided to really count himself among the living, the world, hell all of the universe better fucking watch out. Fuck the rules and anyone who got in his way, he promised himself this would be a new era. Stepping out of the bathroom and seeing Faye waiting for him, still draped in the too big suit jacket he had given her, he lasciviously agreed with his earlier assessments.

Oh, I'm certainly going to enjoy the ride, she'll make sure of that.