Students of UAs hero course and visitors of said students.

That I'm putting this up says a lot about how bad of a headache you're all causing me. I don't care if it made Nezu laugh, do not repeat the following. As an added note, just because it's not directed at you doesn't mean I won't expel you if you use someone elses idiocy as inspiration.

Signed, Shota Aizawa.

Class 1-A

Izuku Midoriya.

1. Stop trying to sneak into the storage units we keep the zero pointers in to try bench pressing them, it didn't work during the entrance exam why would you try again?
1A. That it's the perfect measuring stick to confirm you're getting stronger is not an acceptable reason.

2. Stop mentioning your mothers tea around Lunch Rush, he's challenging her to competitions and it makes the break room awkward as hell when he loses and starts sobbing.

3. Stop sharing your lunches with others, it's too spicy.
3A. Yes it is that bad, you gave Shoto a bowl of curry and now Endeavor is homeless.
3B. That includes Katsuki too, yes I know he can handle it but it gives him an unfair advantage during battle trials and he keeps tricking other people into eating it.
3C. Ochaco isn't allowed any either, she's not eating it she's weaponizing it.

Katsuki Bakugo

1. While I can appreciate that you're trying to protect Izuku, that doesn't mean you can grab peoples faces, squeeze until their mouths open, and say 'If you wanted to taste death so bad, you could have just asked me.'
1A. Or any other verbal or non verbal threat, don't even try that loophole I will strangle you with it.

2. Stop stealing Izukus food and sharing it with other people by pretending it's yours, I don't care if it's 'Funny as all Hell' Mina took a bite and her sweat melted a Mina shaped hole through the floor.

3. That Neito was taunting Izuku is not grounds to blast him with an Izuku lunch powered Howitzer Impact, just go to Midnight about it, she'll do worse.
3A. That was not a challenge and even if it was, you have no chance at winning against her. She openly carries a flogging whip for fucks sake.

Ochaco Uraraka

1. I don't care if you got approval from her mother, stop wrapping Izuku in pillows and bubble wrap to prepare her for battle trials, she is literally the last person who needs it.
1A. No, that she's going up against Katsuki doesn't matter, he treats her like spun glass anyway.

2. While I can appreciate that you're trying to protect Izuku, please stop kicking people below the belt, activating your quirk, welcoming them to the UA Space Program, and then shoving a spoonful of Izuku's food into their mouth every time they so much as power walk towards her. The last one you did that to actually started breathing enough fire to rocket into the sky, Air Jet was barely fast enough to stop him from leaving the atmosphere.

3. That Neito was taunting Izuku is not grounds to activate your quirk on him, tie him up with capture tape, and use his mummified body to 'practice my Comet Home Run'. Midnight will do worse, just let her know.

Tenya Iida

1. While I appreciate your attempts to keep order in the class, please stop chopping the air in front of you, you gave Toru a concussion.

2. Just because Izuku likes pork and liver doesn't mean you should attempt to drink motor oil, stick to drinking milk after working with your quirk.

3. Just because Izuku thought Emergency Exit Iida was a nice nickname doesn't meam you can come to class dressed up as an emergency exit sign.

4. That Neito was taunting Izuku is not grounds to clothesline him while using Recipro Burst, please just go to Midnight about it, she'll do worse.
4A. The fact that this is probably the most minor payback you've all done says a lot.

Momo Yaoyarozu

1. Stop using your quirk to make stuff for other students, while the plushies for Izuku were thoughtful Denki has been stuck in stupid mode ever since you made Kyoka that tazer.

2. That Neito was taunting Izuku is not grounds to create a kanabo, bash his face in, lock him in a coffin, and secure the coffin to the ceiling. Just go to Midnight, she does worse for fun.

Shoto Todoroki

1. While imaginative, please stop bringing graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows to make smores for Izuku to trade for portions of her lunch, you're setting off the fire alarms.
1A. Stop asking for food from Izuku period, I dont know how you're tricking Endeavor to eat the food but the number of blackened craters where houses used to be is starting to drive investigators insane looking for the Ultrarsonist.

2. Stop calling your father then setting up water bucket over the door pranks when we Endeavor arrives for a PTA we never called him about.
2A. That doesn't mean forge a PTA notice and then ambush him with a fire extinguisher instead.

3. That Neito was taunting Izuku is not grounds to say 'fuck it, using my left' and proceed to reenact the Hindenburg Disaster. Report him to Midnight, she'll do worse.

Mina Ashido

1. Stop claiming your bad test scores were due to the fact 'you were on acid' after having filled your shoes with acid with your quirk so a lie detection quirk won't catch it . It's a horrible idea and a terrible pun, it's also going to get you in much more trouble than admitting you forgot to study.

2. Replacing Yugas belt polish with your acid is not funny, it makes everything awkward when he decides to come in wearing a crop top version of the uniform and a leaking belly button.

Yuga Aoyama

1. Don't cut your uniforms into crop tops, they're more expensive than you realize.

2. Stop bringing disco balls to battle trials, it was a cute idea at first but last time you had so many set up you fired a shot and blinded the entire class. They'd been watching through cameras!
2A. No mirrors either, you managed to shoot yourself in the back of the head. That's not a compliment.

Tsuyu Asui

1. Stop tongue lashing Minoru, you don't know where he's been. Just hit him and wash your hands afterwards.

2. Stop pretending to use the food provided by Lunch Rush to attract flies by randomly shooting your tongue out and fake chewing, his sobbing about flies tasting better than his cuisine is making the break room unbearably awkward.
2A. Or any other insect.

3. That Neito was taunting Izuku is not grounds to regurgitate your stomach and slap him with it so your stomach toxin smears across his face and gets into his eyes, mouth, and nose. Go to Midnight next time, she'll do worse.

Koji Koda

1. While it was cute the first time please stop controlling animals into treating the girls like movie princesses. Normally I wouldn't care but last time group of deer was bad timing and that corridor is still closed off for cleaning.

2. Izuku is not a bunny, please stop squeezing her with a bear hug every time she decides to wear ribbons, this class s hard enough to control as it is.

Denki Kaminari

1. Stop trying to pick up girls by picking up light bulbs to 'Communicate with fireflies' and make the night beautiful, it's not getting you anywhere.

Minoru Mineta

1. Stop trying to pick up girls by saying your hero name isn't the only juicy thing about you, seriously, I shouldn't have to say why that's a bad idea.

Hanta Sero

1. While I appreciate your attempts to reduce my headaches, shooting tape over Katsukis mouth only delays his outbursts while giving him something else to rage about, stop.

2. Stop swapping toilet paper rolls for rolls of your tape, Present Mic is loud enough without the pain of waxing his asshole.

Mezo Shoji

1. While I understand interest in your quirk is somewhat new to you, if someone comes up to you and asks 'Just how big does your tentacles get?', don't demonstrate, we get enough injured kids we don't need the beds filled with people who fainted with a smile after seeing your four tentacles grow bigger than them.
1A. Dont show Izuku either, she doesn't have the same intention or reaction but people get the wrong idea.

2. Izuku, thankfully, doesn't actually eat human flesh, stop offering her food when she looks hungry and holding out one of your replicated arms. We don't need another Moonfish.

Class 1-B

Hitoshi Shinsou

1. Stop using your quirk to help Izuku get to places she's not supposed to go, you know her, you know why it's a bad idea.

2. Stop trying to mind control Nezu into telling you what he is, last time you tried it overloaded your quirk so badly you needed daily treatments over the course of a week to make your ears stop bleeding. We know what he is, he's the principal, that is all we need to know.

3. That Neito is taunting Izuku is not grounds to brainwash him into walking to the obstacle course storage room and activate all the mines and Yes, Midnight can still do worse, Please just report him to her.

Neito Monoma

1. Stop taunting Izuku, just stop, if you're doing it because they punish you then just go to Midnight, she can recommend some dating sites.

2. Stop copying Kojis quirk to make birds shit on Katsuki's head, burnt bird shit smells terrible.

Fellow Teachers

All-Might

1. I know teaching is hard but that doesn't mean you can make hero basics into a free period because you lost your script cards.

Present Mic

1. Yes, Izuku is cute, yes, she doesn't know what you're teaching her to say, that doesn't make it a good idea to teach her every swear word you can possibly teach her and how to string them together, last time she went off All-Might nearly died!

2. Stop screaming about how cute Izuku is, literally everyone can hear you, I shouldn't have to explain what that means for certain websites. Yes, the ones the bureau let us know about.

Midnight

1. Stop kidnapping Izuku to watch all the boys in the Hero Course go apeshit looking for her, I don't care if it turns you on.
1A. At least wait until they're not my problem.

2. Please stop hiding when Neito does something stupid so you can watch the results.

3. Stop listing the students by nicknames, they'll have hero names eventually but we don't need them taking your advise on the subject. Nobody needs a hero named Sugar Daddy, Tentalove, or The Little Death.

Visitors

Inko Midoriya

1. I know she's your daughter and you're proud to watch her grow, but please, stop watching the video reports of how she's doing unless you have towels on the ground. The water damage bill is getting high and we prepare these buildings for people with actual water quirks.

Gunhead

1. Stop encouraging Midnight's habit of dressing Izuku in overly cute bunny based outfits.
1A. I know you're the one giving Izuku's friends ideas on how to tactically destroy anyone who comes near her, stop it, they're causing too much collateral.

2. If you're bringing a Freedom variation of the hero plushies your agency models for, please make sure they can reload the guns.
2A. What, you thought I'd be mad? Hell no, it's working wonders on the kids reaction times, but now they're just taking cover until the bullets stop when they should be trying to avoid the bullets.

That's all for now. Keep it that way.

Shota Aizawa.

Nezu looked at the paper Aizawa had put copies of all over the school, and grinned before sending out a school-wide email.

Aizawa looked at his phone as it buzzed, as did most of the students phones. He looked at it to see a new email from Nezu, and groaned as he read it.

Shota's idea is perfect, from now on, if anyone has an issue, please, let me know so I can add it to the official U.A. Darwin Awards List!