Sekijiro looked over the email Nezu sent, as well as Shota's list as he rubbed his chin with his index and thumb. "... Why not, I can think of a few things." He said as he pulled up his word processor.

Students of UAs hero course and visitors of said students.

I agree with Aizawa the idiocy competitions need to stop. To my fellow teachers, you're adults, act like it.

Signed, Sekijiro Kan.

Class 1-B

Hitoshi Shinsou

1. Stop starting arguments with the entire student body whenever you don't want to deal with a crowded hallway. While it's a clever use of your quirk the sheer amount of parental complaints has Nezu building paperwork forts.

2. Stop imitating Aizawa's happy face when you need to scare someone away from Izuku, those parental complaints are being used to create an Air Force for the fort.

3. Stop kidnapping Izuku from Class 1-A.
3. I don't care if she's a 'precious cinnamon bun', put her back.

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

1. While I appreciate the self awareness, stop signing your name by writing down Fe x4.

2. Stop kidnapping Izuku from Class 1-A.
2A. I don't care if you don't think they can keep her safe, put her back.

Neito Monoma

1. Stop giving Izuku random pieces of food you've disguised as pork, not only is it not working but it's getting difficult to get you back after you're sent flying by her friends.

2. Stop trying to convince Ibara that the members of Class 1-A are 'Witches' and 'Heretics' who must be burned. She's been catching her hair vines on fire collecting torches for the witch hunt.

3. Stop convincing Tetsutetsu to kidnap Izuku so she misses on lessons. It usually ends up being Midnight's classes she misses and then I get the flak for it.

4. Stop provoking Class 1-A outside of hero training, it just makes you look bad and you're not making any progress in beating them.

Itsuka Kendo

1. Stop neck chopping Neito, just straight up punch him with your quirk active.
1A. Yes, I'm being serious, this is getting ridiculous.

Pony Tsunotori

1. Stop rocketing through the halls with your horns. Last time you flew into Izuku and your horns pinned her to a pair of lockers, there was blood everywhere!
1A. I'm not Shota Aizawa, I'm not going to expel you for being late if you have a proper reason.

2. Stop listening to Neito, just stop.

Setsuna Tokage

1. Stop walking around pretending you're a dullahan.
1A. That doesn't mean convince Izuku to do it for you.

2. Stop offering handshakes to random people and then popping off your hand with your quirk, Present Mic destroyed every window in the school last time you pulled that one. The windows are bulletproof for God's sake.

Kinoko Komori

1. Stop growing edible mushrooms on the food you get at Lunch Rush's cafeteria, his sobbing about his cuisine being used as 'fungus food' is unbearable.2

2. Please be aware of what the mushrooms look like before you grow and eat them, Recovery Girl's office is full as it is.
2A. Dear lord, do not use them to represent what boys need to date you! Stay away from Midnight outside of class!

Yotetsu Awase

1. Stop challenging Katsuki and Togaru to swearing competitions.

2. Using your quirk to weld socks to the insides of your pants is not an appropriate use of your quirk.
2A. No, it doesn't count as an intimidation tactic and even if it did, do you really think I'm that stupid?

Sen Kaibara

1. While I appreciate the self awareness, and the fact you memorized a song that old, please stop declaring your latest crush by going up to people and singing 'You Spin Me Round'.
1A. Or it's more adult flavored remix. Especially not it's more adult flavored remix.

2. 'I can drill you better than he ever could.' while making your arm spin and gesturing downward is not the appropriate reaction to 'I have a boyfriend.'.
2A. I don't care if it works!

Togaru Kamakiri

1. Stop responding to girls asking you out violently, they don't want to eat your head.

2. Stop challenging Katsuki and Yotetsu to swearing competitions.
2A. Stop threatening Katsuki with your blades when you lose, the collateral damage is expensive on it goes to my paycheck.

3. Stop attaching knives to the school roombas.

Shihai Kuroiro

1. Stop using dark corners to jump scare teachers, you pulled that on All-Might and he punched half the building into the ocean. We're not even near the coast, it's on the opposite side of Musutafu!
1A. Don't scare your fellow students either, you startled that girl from the Support Course while her arms were full and the resulting explosion set off an Earthquake Alert across Japan!

2. Stop hiding in peoples shadows to avoid having to walk.

Yui Kodai

1. Stop trying to make Izuku bigger, I know you want to see the look on her friends faces but if it works there's going to be a lot of questions nobody wants to deal with.
1A. Except Nezu, but that's really just more proof you shouldn't do it.

2. Stop throwing your hat at people, it isn't a boomerang.

Ibara Shiozaki

1. Stop kidnapping Izuku from Class 1-A.
1A. I don't care if holy water didn't work and therefore she is 'A Second Coming', put her back.

2. You were given the okay to create a Bible Club, not to recreate The Inquisition and start forcibly converting people. I don't know why I didn't expect this.
2A. Present Mic don't you dare...

Jurota Shishida

1. Stop trying to swing around on Ibara's vines.

2. Stop trying to steal Eraserheads sleeping bag to take naps, the man will kill you for that.

Nirengeki Shoda

1. Stop saying Rule Number One whenever you're asked about class, people are getting the wrong idea.

2. Stop tapping your face lightly, then running screaming we're under attack from '5th dimensional beings' before activating your quirk and acting knocked out.

Kosei Tsuburaba

1. Stop creating solid air walls randomly in the halls.

2. Stop pretending to walk on water, Ibara's fainted and missed classes thanks to you doing that in front of her.

3. Stop asking Ibara to tie you up in public. I've seen how you act in training, you don't want escape practice.

Manga Fukidashi

1. Stop saying Bow-Chicha-Bow-Wow when you hear perverted comments, it counts for your quirk, and nobody needs to see that.

2. Stop making the lenny face whenever someone makes a normal moment that can be twisted into a perverted one.

Juzo Honenuki

1. While I appreciate your attempts to help reduce bullying in the school, stop panting people by activating your quirk on their pants. Just let a teacher know.

2. Using your quirk to come into class by swimming under the wall and up into your seat isn't going to get you out of being late, please don't risk the schools structural integrity for a plan that doesn't work.

Kojiro Bondo

1. Stop putting your quirks glue onto random objects, as it is we've had to replace multiple doors, a two sets of lockers, and one of Snipe's hats.

Reiko Yanagi

1. Stop helping Nezu use his paperwork Air Force to attack random students.

2. Stop using your quirk on random objects near Thirteen, they're jumpy as it is after the USJ incident.

Hiryu Rin

1. Stop running up to people with your quirk active, hissing like a reptile, claiming your brethren will soon rise.

Osore Dendo

1. I don't know where you got that old television cassette but stop playing it, do you have any idea how awkward it is for a U.A. student to get better hero training from an evil spirit?

2. Stop kidnapping Izuku from Class 1-A.

2A. I don't care if she's there for moral support, put her back.

Class 1-A

Izuku Midoriya

1. Stop accepting offers for a fist bump. Hiryu had his scales out and you still embedded him into a wall.
1A. No High Fives either, every bone in Neito's arm and hand was dislocated and he didn't realize they weren't going to pop themselves back into place until his quirk wore off.

2. Stop throwing body parts at Reiko to see if she can manipulate them, Ryo's giving her therapy for when you threw your still bleeding head at her and has been for the last week.

3. Stop letting members of my class kidnap you.

Katsuki Bakugo

1. Stop whipping your hands at fellow classmates outside of sparring. Nitroglycerin is volatile and it's disgusting.
1A. That said, good work on creating a new super move kid.

2. Please stop launching your class's Tetsutetsu through the wall when someone in Class 1-B is 'too damn loud'.
2A. Or whenever Izuku goes missing. There's a door, knock in on it, gently.

Ochaco Uraraka

1. Stop Yeeting Neito every time you see him come within a twenty yard radius of Izuku.
1A. Or when he starts ranting about how he'll upstage Class 1-A
1B. You know what just stop yeeting him.

2. Slapping someone and activating your quirk at the same time to launch them into a nearby wall is not the appropriate react to a perverted comment.
2A. Keep it in your pocket for villain monologues though, shit like that goes a long way towards making hostages feel safe.

Tanya Iida

1. Don't run in the halls, you ran into Setsuna and she was scattered through half the building.
1A. I don't care if you were trying to get to class twenty minutes early and couldn't be late.

2. Stop offering to help female students get to class by carrying them to class with your quirk active, it's why they're coming in late in the first place.
2A. Don't help Midnight either, it should be fairly obvious why she's doing it.

Momo Yaoyarozu

1. While I'll admit Neito needs to stop trying to provoke you, stop creating plushies from Gunhead 'Freedom' series and surrounding Izuku with them, he's setting them all off and ruining lunch hour.

2. Stop bribing Yui with matryoshka dolls to get her to embarrass Neito whenever he moves to provoke you, there's really no need. He embarrasses himself enough in those attempts without her help.
2A. I'd ask her to stop doing it but she does need to help keep Neito in line.

Eijiro Kirishima

1. 'I'm Rock Hard!' is a terrible battle cry, and you should realize why.

2. Just because Tetsutetsu does better after a meal that's high in iron doesn't mean you should start eating rock salt! How are you even alive!?
2A. I swear to god if you drank sea water...

Denki Kaminari

1. Stop making electricity arc between your fingers and sticking your tongue between them, not only is it revolting but you're zapping your own tongue.
1A. That doesn't mean do it without electricity.

Mina Ashido

1. Stop giving boys vials of acid when they ask you out saying they need to 'pass the test' to date you, they're actually doing it, Recovery Girl's demanding to know who did it.
1A. Run.

Fellow Teachers

Midnight

1. Stop corrupting my class, damn it!

Aizawa Shota

1. I get it, you work nights as an underground hero, but stop taking naps in random places around the school. You look like a big orange caterpillar and Present Mic keeps annihilating sections of the building whenever he opens a closet/cupboard/locker that you just so happen to be sleeping in.
1A. Wearing earplugs so he doesn't wake you when that happens is not the solution.

2. Stop dropping off Izuku in my class to punish your students.
2A. I don't care if it works at getting them back in line, take her back.

All-Might

1. Stop canceling class whenever you're about to run out of time. Either use your time better or let people know you're sucking in your gut.

Present Mic

1. I understand phobias but stop screaming every time you see Togaru outside of class, you're stroking his ego a bit too much.

2. Stop coming up with nicknames for our students. Calling Pony 'Ms. Down to Ride' is something I'd expect from Midnight, not you.

Sekijiro Kan chuckled to himself before sending the file to Nezu. "That should do it..."

Shota's eye twitched as he looked at the latest addition to the U.A. Student Paper.

The U.A. Darwin Awards, Vlad King Edition!

"... Damn it."