There are some faces you just don't show the world. Some that you save for yourself, when you find a moment of peace among the chaos. For them, the Lake was the most peaceful place in the world. DH.
"What a complete and utter pain in my arse!" Hermione yelled as she stormed down the dirt path away from the castle. Ronald had been putting off his charms essay all week for quidditch or chess, and when they finally had some time to themselves, he had the audacity to beg her to do it for him.
"Selfish idiot! I can't believe he-," her words cut off in a sob. It was too much. It all got so out of hand and they both said things they didn't mean. She left for fresh air, to walk to the lake. Her feet lead the way without her thinking about it. It wasn't her first time taking a breather after a fight. At least it was her first fight today. A ragged breath escaped her.
The trees broke away from the rocky path Hermione trotted down. There, the dock, her oasis. It was her safe haven whenever she needed to cool off. The breeze from the lake soothing her fresh wounds and the ducks swimming relaxing her buzzing mind. And a tall man with hair the color of the sun peeking through the clouds.
Hermione froze. Someone was already there in her place. The man was wearing slacks rolled to his knees and a white button up rolled to his elbows. His feet swung just skimming the water below. The ducks were drifting about in front of him. Seeds sprung from his hand, sending the ducks into a frenzy bobbing at his feet. He hunched over and Hermione could see his burdens weighing him down. She saw him let out a sigh and run his hands through his hair.
It felt like she was looking into his soul, in a raw moment. It was too personal. She hurried to leave, but her feet tangled on themselves and the ground came up at her. A scream slipped from her as she tumbled into the dirt.
"Hey!" He yelled, his bare feet thumping against the dock as he ran closer, "Are you okay?"
She felt a hand on her back and another come to her arm guiding her into an upright position.
"I'm fine," she said, blushing. She brushed dirt from her skirt and stockings. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude." She finally looked up into the man's storm grey eyes and froze.
"Granger?"
"Malfoy?"
They stared at each other for a moment. Malfoy broke first, jumping back as if her skin burned.
"What do you think you're doing here, Granger? Spying on me? Don't you have better things to do with your time?" He shoved his sleeves down his arms, frantically buttoning them at the wrist.
"Sod off, Malfoy! Not everything revolves around you." She said, scrambling to her feet.
"Some would say otherwise," He shot back, arms crossed. She let a frustrated groan that ended, to her utter mortification, in a strangled sob. Malfoy stiffened.
"Whatever, just, I can't do this right now."
Malfoy watched her storm away more than a little bewildered. He could never deal with crying girls.
Hermione gazed down at the ducks on the dock. Another day, another fight with Ron over something ridiculous. A duck quacked up at her expectantly. She would have to bring food for them next time. Malfoy was spoiling them it seemed.
She sighed, thinking back to how peaceful he was with his feet in the water. Before she could read too much into it, she reached down and tugged off her loafers and socks. A sigh slid from her mouth as she dipped her toes into the glittering water. Leaning back on her elbows, she let the sun kiss her face.
"Feels good, doesn't it?" A voice said from above her. She jumped, kicking up water. The ducks scattered.
She looked up at the dark shadow that was Draco Malfoy. He looked tired.
"Malfoy! What the hell?!"
"You've gone and scared all the ducks away, Granger." He said, rolling his sleeves.
"And who's fault is that?" She glared. Malfoy just snorted and reached to take his shoes off. "Who said you could join me?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you owned this dock" He said smoothly, not pausing in taking his socks off next.
"Well, I was here first!" She whined.
"Come now, Granger. What are we, 5 years old now? Surely they teach sharing at that muggle school you grew up in." He drawled back at her, rolling his pant legs up. She flushed in embarrassment.
"I was just leaving anyway," She huffed, pulling her knees into her chest and grabbing her shoes. She heard Malfoy sigh. Halfway down the dock she heard him.
"I've seen you here quite a lot, you know."
Looking over her shoulder, "And what of it?"
"You come here for some peace and quiet too." He said, not turning to face her. "We could share it."
She scoffed, "Whatever games you are trying to play at, I don't have the time or energy for."
"No games, Granger." He said. The sun shone through his hair, making it translucent yellow light. He turned, and his face glowed, "Not here."
Her breath escaped her. He was beautiful.
"I-I have to go," She stammered out, all but running from him. Malfoy sighed again, dipping his feet into the placid lake.
"Maybe next time," He mumbled, hunching in on himself at last.
He was there the next day, when she came down to the lake. And the day after that. She left each time without drawing his attention.
Finally, she found the dock empty. Throwing herself onto the boards, she cursed that silly red head and his thoughtless mouth. She cried into her hands.
The sun finally began to paint the sky pink when her tears stopped. She turned her empty gaze to it, barely registering the soft footfalls approaching her. She didn't say anything this time as he slid beside her, removing his shoes and slipping his feet into the water. He didn't say anything either. They just sat there, in a companionable silence, watching the sun sink below the horizon.
He didn't so much as glance as she left.
The next two weeks carried on about the same. Some days she got there first, some days he did. Each time, they sat quietly. At first she felt fidgety, on edge. Like maybe he would turn and hex her at any moment. But he didn't. He didn't even look at her. Most of the time his chin was his hand, and he stared far off into the distance.
By the third week, she was indifferent. Almost like he wasn't even there. A pale ghost drifting in and out of her peripheral vision.
The odd thing was, she didn't find herself crying anymore.
It was the 42nd day since she found Draco on that dock. Not that she was counting. He was lounging there, a book in his hand. Her eyes slid to him again.
"What is it, Granger?" He said gruffly from behind his book. She jumped a little.
"Um, it's nothing," She said turning her gaze away again.
"That's the third time I've caught you staring. Finally realize how gorgeous I am? Try not to fall too hard." He said, turning the page. Hermione let out a scandalized gasp.
"As if!" she flushed. Draco chuckled in response.
"What is it then?" He peered around the book at her, "It's the book isn't it. You do love your literature. Maybe a little too much." He trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows at her.
"Malfoy!" She gasped. "For your information it's just strange, is all."
"What is?"
"You've never brought a book before." She said, eyeing the cover. He laughed again.
"Is that not allowed on your dock, Granger?" He countered with a smirk.
"Honestly, I'd hardly call it my dock," She said, "You're here just as much as I am."
"I suppose your right." He conceded.
"I never thought I would see the day where Draco Malfoy said those words to me." A smile tugging at her lips.
"Don't let it go to your head. I doubt you could fit much more in there if you tried." His eyes positively gleamed with amusement.
They were quiet for a few moments. Hermione's heart was beating faster than normal and her chest felt light. It was fun, she realized with horror, to banter with him. It wasn't quite like fighting with Ron. It wasn't talons and venom.
"I brought the book because I actually feel relaxed enough to read," He said quietly, turning another page. "It's been weeks since I've felt up to it."
She hummed in return. When was the last time she had read for fun? "Maybe I'll bring my own tomorrow," She said out loud before realizing.
Malfoy's lips turned up behind his book. "Yes, tomorrow."
Tomorrow came, and surprisingly Ron hadn't said anything stupid. Hadn't picked a fight over nothing. She felt a small spring in her step as she strode over to the dock, romance novel in hand. She settled onto the deck cross legged and tucked in to her novel.
An hour passed. Then two.
Hermione let out a groan, her leg bouncing up and down. She had read the same line 5 times. She looked over her shoulder. He wasn't here yet. She threw her book to the side and flopped onto her back. Why was she looking for him anyway?
She turned onto her side, watching the tall grass sway in the warm breeze. Her eyes slid shut and she drifted to sleep.
The sound of water lapping against the dock brought her back. It had gotten dark, just past sunset. She saw a knee in her line of sight. She followed it up to see Draco sitting against a dock post. His head hung, breaths soft with sleep. A book lay limp in his hands.
Hermione slowly sat up. A jacket fell from her front, pooling at her waist. Was this Draco's?
Her gaze shot to his face. He looked kind, his sharp features softened with sleep. His white gold hair hung in his face, more disheveled than she had ever seen. As if someone else was controlling her, she reached out and brushed the strands from his face. He stirred slightly at the touch, but didn't wake.
Hermione scooted closer. It was almost dark and she needed to be going soon. She collected the book from his limp grasp.
"Malfoy," She tried softly. He hummed back but didn't stir. "Malfoy," She said louder this time. She shook his shoulder.
"I'm up," he mumbled, rolling his head to the side. Hermione growled at him.
"For goodness sakes, Draco. Get the hell up!" She yelled at him, thumping his book against his thigh.
Draco groaned, "Blimey! What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I was nice about it the first four times." She said. Draco rubbed his eyes, yawning. He wiggled back into a more comfortable position against the post and closed his eyes again.
"Draco, do not go back to sleep. It's getting dark. We need to get back to the castle."
"Draco?" He repeated, one eye cracking open. She froze. "Just because you used my first name doesn't mean I'm going to do everything you say."
Hermione flushed, "It worked the first time, didn't it!"
"I believe it was the book colliding with my groin that did the trick."
"Don't be a baby, Draco. I wasn't even near your groin." She said, crossing her arms. She peeked at him, seeing his Cheshire grin. "Malfoy." She corrected quickly.
"Whatever you say-," He drawled.
"That was easy," she mumbled, pulling herself up and folding Draco's jacket over her arm.
"-Hermione," Draco finished. She balked. "I rather liked that reaction. Hermione."
"Sod off, Draco-Dammit! Malfoy!" Vermilion painted her face completely. Draco's mouth struggled to remain straight, finally bursting into laughter. He bent over, holding his stomach.
"I swear, Granger! Your face, it was positively to die for!"
Hermione had never seen him smile, let alone laugh. She was stunned for a moment. Speechless for a second time by Draco Malfoy.
"Oh, sod off, Malfoy," She said, failing to keep a smile from her face and offering a hand to help him stand. His laughter died to giggles as he took her hand and pulled himself off the dock.
"Well, there's no way I can do that." He said with a smirk. She glared at him, waiting for the punch line. "You didn't say Draco."
Hermione let out a frustrated yell and stormed away from the boy.
"You can return my jacket tomorrow, Hermione!" He yelled to her.
"I said sod off Malfoy!" She yelled back, smile bright on her face.
Days bled into weeks. Weeks to months. Before long, it was a common occurrence to see Draco there at the end of the dock, to sit with him and chat with him. She dared to think they had become rather good friends. They bickered and laughed. Each time she saw him, she forgot about all the chaos of her life and just had fun. With Draco Malfoy.
Hell truly had frozen over.
This day, however, was sweltering hot. Draco was at the dock again, shirt open and soaking in the sun like a cat. She let out a breathy laugh. What an arrogant arse.
A black outline fell across Draco as she approached. "Oi, you're blocking my sun."
"And you're hogging the dock." Hands on her hips. He rolled to the side, making room for her. His hand dipped into the water, drawing lazy circles.
"Running a bit late, are we?" He said, squinting over his shoulder at her.
"You were over 2 hours late yesterday." She said, gathering her hair up into a pony tail. "And I wasn't aware we had a meeting time."
"Here I thought you were a bright witch. Obviously we do," He said. She swore the red dusting her cheeks had nothing to do with the underhanded compliment.
"News to me." She stated, shedding her sweater.
Draco just smirked at her. "You seem a bit dodgy today. Everything okay in Potterland?"
"Potterland," she huffed under her breath, "Honestly, Draco. Your material is really lacking imagination these days."
"You're deflecting," His smirk turned downward.
"You're annoying," She quipped.
"I think the heat is getting to you." He said devilishly.
"I don't know, maybe-," Cold sprinkled across her face as Draco splashed water at her. "Draco Malfoy!"
She dipped her hand into the water, flicking a few drops his way.
"Is that all you've got, Granger?" He said, lobbing water at her. The hit landed square in the chest.
"It is so on!" She knelt by the edge of the dock, scooping wave after wave of lake water at Draco, who was doing the same. They were soaked within seconds. Hermione was squealing and laughing alongside Draco. Finally, he lunged for her, pulling her off the end of the dock. They hit the surface with a wet slap. Draco surfaced first, Hermione breaking seconds later.
"Draco Malfoy!" She gasped.
"Yes, darling." He laughed. She swam over to him, shoving him in the chest. Draco caught her hands in his own.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She sputtered.
"I had to cool you off somehow, didn't I?" He pulled her closer to him, "We can't have you spitting fire across the castle. It's a public service."
"Public service!" She tried to keep an angry face, but his grin was infectious. "If anyone is doing a public service, it's me. Keeping you occupied for the afternoon and out of the hallways."
"I have an entire fan club of second years that would beg to differ."
"I'm sure," She said rolling her eyes.
His eyelashes were blonde, she noticed. Water was dripping from them, down his cheeks to the corner of his mouth. She watched another drop follow the same path before she felt his hands tighten on her wrists. Her eyes snapped to his storm grey ones, brewing and boring into her. They darted low on her face before returning. Her heart leapt into her ears, and it was hard to breathe.
"You're so different here," She blurted. He just looked at her, question on his face. "You're…happy and nice."
A melancholy smile settled on his face as he pulled away, swimming to the dock.
He sent her a gentle smile before, hefting himself out of the water. She followed, accepting his arm as he lifted her out of the lake. "So are you, Hermione."
The next day was bad. Ron had confronted her about how she was disappearing every afternoon. 'Off snogging some guy?' he had insinuated, obviously jealous. They weren't even dating! Somehow, she had managed to keep the 'who' and 'where' out of the fight, but it still shook her. Things escalated. He had said some awful things before, but this time he crossed a line.
The edge of the forest came up too soon and she took a moment to collect herself. Breathing deep and wiping the tears from her face, she trotted down the path toward the blonde patiently waiting.
He smiled at the sight of her. One look from him. That was all it took for everything to come rushing back. His smile faded as tears flooded her vision. She dropped to her knees. Draco met her halfway, easing her to the ground by her forearms.
"What happened?" He said, gravely serious. Hermione just shook her head, a sob escaping her. Draco swept an arm around her, pulling her to his shoulder. She let her head fall, forgetting who he was and how wrong this was supposed to be. A sob racked her body and she clutched his shirt. Draco just rubbed her back, silent and steady.
When the tears dried up enough, she pulled away, not meeting his eyes.
"He called me a dirty mudblood," she hiccuped out. Draco stiffened at the word he had thrown at her hundreds of times before.
"Hermione," he whispered, guilt and sadness dripping from his voice.
"I know-," She gasped, clutching his shirt harder, "I know I've been call it a million times, and it shouldn't mean anything, but-"
"Don't," He ground out, bangs shadowing his eyes. "Don't make allowances for it. There is no excuse for using that word. Not for Potter or Weasley—or me."
"Draco, I didn't mean-,"
"I know." He said, hands drifting to cradle hers. "But it's still true. You don't deserve any of it. You are a brilliant witch and an infallibly kind person, even to those who deserve it the least. Anyone speaking to you that way is inexcusable. And for something you can't change, can't control-it's revolting. They are," He loosed a ragged breath, "I am dirtier than you ever will be Hermione Granger." His hands tightened around hers, before gently pulling them from his shirt.
For a third time, Hermione was completely speechless as she watched Draco rise.
"I'm so sorry Hermione. For everything." He left without looking back.
The next day, Draco didn't come to the dock. She was late even. Ron and Harry had apparently been hit by some stray curse from a second year witch, putting them in the infirmary for hours. She waited until well after the sun had set, but he didn't come. The day after, he was gone again. The dock felt too big, too quiet. Lonely. The sun was sucked from the oasis.
A week went by, and nothing. She saw him in classes, in the dining hall, but he never even glanced her way. She felt her heart ache thinking about it.
She almost stopped going to the lake. The place caused more pain than soothing these days. As she made her way through the wooded path, she figured a goodbye was the least she could do. She broke through the tree line and her breath caught in her throat. He was there. Skipping stones across the pond. As she approached him, it looked more like chucking stones at it. Anger boiled from him and was palpable in the air.
"Draco," She whispered, as if the image of him would disappear at the sound. He didn't turn.
"I shouldn't be here." He said, throwing another stone.
"You're upset." Not a question. He faltered before picking another stone.
"Yes," was all he responded to her.
"Draco, where have you been?" she slowly stepped closer. He let out a sigh, but didn't answer. She walked up beside him just as he was about to throw another stone into the water and grabbed his arm.
"Just talk to me. What's going on?" She said, searching his face. He turned his head away from her, still refusing to meet her eyes. "If this is about the Mudblood thing, I told you. I've already forgiven you. It's in the past—,"
"Maybe it shouldn't be." He interrupted, his fist clenching around the last stone in his hand. She felt it all the way up his arm she was clutching.
"You shouldn't go around trusting people so easily. I'm not-" an exasperated huff forced its way through flaring nostrils. "I'm not a good person. You should be running as far away from me as you possibly can."
"Don't be ridiculous! You're all bark and no bite," She laughed, trying to lighten the sinking feeling in her stomach. "These past few months—,"
"Were a lie, Hermione." He ripped his arm from her grip and finally turned to her fully. His eyes were dark and stormy, and full of desperation. "This isn't who I really am. If I was ever put into a position where I had to choose—or if I was ordered to—if he ever knew about us, I-," His mouth snapped shut, unable or unwilling to finish a full thought, his mind churning behind his stormy gaze.
Hermione's eyes widened at the mention of 'he'. She knew exactly what 'he' was referring to in that moment: Voldemort. And Draco was terrified.
"Draco, whatever trouble you're in, Dumbledore can protect you. He can put you into hiding, somewhere safe, where you don't have to be afraid anymore," She pleaded with him. He let out a sharp laugh.
"You have no idea what you're talking about. Dumbledore can't protect me. He can't protect anyone in this castle for that matter! There are a dozen death eaters walking the halls, sleeping in the dorms, going to classes. All it would take is one word from him and I'd be smothered in my sleep for even talking about turning myself in."
Hermione froze. Of course she knew people talked that the pureblood families of Slytherin being initiated as death eaters, but to hear it confirmed took her breath from her.
"You're one of them, aren't you?" She swallowed, her throat dry, "A death eater."
"I'm too far in, Hermione. I didn't have a choice." That shook her awake.
"There is always a choice, Draco." She felt anger rising at those words. "There is always a chance to do the right thing."
"The right thing?" He spat back at her with a step closer. How dare she! He was glaring down at her, an unconscious intimidation tactic. "You tell me, Granger. When that monster is living in your home, sleeping down the hall from you and eating dinner at your dining room table so you never have a moments peace even in your own home. When he looks at you and tells you to do something terrible, something unspeakable, his wand so casually pointed at your own mother. The woman who raised you. Protected you. Loved you more than anyone else in the world. When she's looking at you, silently pleading for her life, you tell me if I had a choice. You tell me what the right thing was."
Hermione was trembling, eyes tearing up, out of anger and sadness.
"You can preach at me all you want from your tall, Gryffindor tower, but until you've been where I am, where doing the right thing means turning your back on every person you love, to have them killed or worse," His voice dropped to a whisper, "you have no idea what those words actually mean."
"Draco…" She breathed out. Her eyes searching his face, taking in the fear and the passion. Words escaped her, her mind running over and over those words that gushed out of him. She suddenly saw him in a new light. He looked young and weary, like a scared boy, with all this darkness pressing down on his shoulders. Too much to carry on his own and one breath away from shattering.
His face soured at the pity in her big brown eyes and he pivoted away from her, striding to the end of the dock and shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. "Just leave." He hissed into the wind.
But she couldn't move. Inside, her emotions were at war. The sadness, pity and anger all at the world for being so unfair. "If you're so dangerous, why did you even come here then? You knew I'd be here."
He ran a hand through his hair, tinged pink in the twilight. He knew what he wanted to say. Just a few days away from this place and he was falling apart. That wasn't quite right though. It stopped being just about this place a long time ago. It was about seeing her. He had needed to see her.
"I already told you enough, Granger. Beat it." He snapped.
Her lips pressed into a thin line. "You knew I'd be here," she said under her breath, mostly to herself. A lightbulb went off in her head and her heart took off in her chest, lifting with hope. When she spoke again, her voice was clear.
"I know you want me to be frightened of you. That's why you put on such a show, to intimidate me into running away. But you aren't a bad person, Draco. You were dealt a terrible hand in life and it isn't fair, but you are doing what you can to protect the people closest to you." Unable to contain it, she ran to him, throwing her arms around him and burying her head into his back. He stiffened. "I'm not afraid. I know you just want to that be the guy I met here, feeding ducks and reading books. Someday you will be free to be him. But you can't get there alone. Whenever you need someone, whenever it's too much and you want to escape, I'll be here for you. I promise." She squeezed tighter once more, before letting go.
He heard her steps thudding against the wooden planks, muffling through the dirt as she made her way through the forest path. He didn't turn. His eyes were trained on the setting sun, tears flowing down his cheeks. A bittersweet smile sneaking onto his face.
That bloody Gryffindor. She really had to have the last word, didn't she? And he loved her the more for it.