A/N: The prompt "We could get arrested for this" comes from Nyxako, who is a fantastic fucking beta. Additional thanks and gratitude to raizagabriel (check out her awesome art on tumblr) for giving me an extra set of eyes!

0O0

Genma held back an unmanly yelp as a very drunk Ino shoved him into the wall. Although he'd never been really concerned about public decency laws, he grasped for the one thing he thought might stop her. "We could get arrested for this, you know." He gestured vaguely at the very empty—but still public—alleyway she'd pushed him into. He couldn't help the amused smirk that played around his lips.

"Please. My hand isn't even in your pants yet." Her speech was only a little slurred, which was admirable, considering that she was inebriated enough that she was having an extremely hard time unfastening his fly.

This gave Genma plenty of time to catch her forearms in his hands and smoothly pull her grasping fingers away from his crotch. "Keep your hands to yourself, you little deviant."

This didn't dissuade her in the slightest, as she only leered at him in return. "Is that what you're going to call me? What do I call you? Big boy?" She snickered and somehow managed to twist one arm free. Lazily trailing a finger down his lower abdomen, she purred, "…Daddy?"

"Fuck me," Genma cursed under his breath as he caught her wandering hand, this time turning them both so that Ino was pinned against the wall. Judging by the satisfied smile that she gave him, that suited her perfectly. He tried, and failed, to keep the amusement from his voice as he observed, "You're a very handsy drunk."

"You have no idea," she cooed.

"We're not doing this," he said, somehow managing not to laugh at her overly saccharine tone.

She scowled at him. "Listen, as my boyfriend, I expect you to—"

This time he did laugh, cutting her off. "I'm not your boyfriend."

"Well, why the hell not?" she blurted, clearly offended.

"I don't know!" he returned, as exasperated as he was entertained. She was so demanding. "We've never even had that conversation." Hell, they were barely having it now—this was less a conversation and more an assault. "I'm not exactly the boyfriend type."

Seeing that she was too distracted to continue trying to grope him, he released her and took a step back, putting some distance between them. Distance was probably a good idea.

"Well, damn it, Shiranui, get your shit together!" she demanded, stepping forward to drunkenly poke at his chest—or, to try and poke his chest as she swayed and nearly fell.

Accepting the inevitable, he steadied her with a sigh and then, before she could start yelling at him again, he dropped his shoulder and threw her over it. Ino squealed, and as he started to carry her out of the alley and toward her apartment, he grumbled, "I never should have let you challenge me to that drinking contest."

"I'm great at drinking," she said with relish.

"You're horrible at it. I can't believe you're this drunk after three drinks."

"You're just mad that I won," she slurred.

Genma snorted. "You didn't win. The bartender cut you off when you slid off your chair."

"I win 'cause now you're going home with me," she countered, drunkenly smug. "All part… of the plan," she finished, hiccupping halfway through her sentence.

"I'm not going home with you. I'm taking you home, because you are a giant pain in my ass."

Genma realized too late that mentioning his ass was only going to inspire her, at the same time as Ino grasped the back of his shirt with one hand and started straining to reach his ass with the other, getting just far enough that she was able to smack it. Hard.

Genma grunted and pulled her forward, plunking her down on her feet and giving her a beady stare as he tried to ignore the sting in his ass. "You're going to pay for that," he threatened, and she grinned at him, swaying, her expression telling him that she absolutely wanted him to make her pay for it.

A sound that was half rueful laughter and half frustrated groan came out of Genma as he caught her before her swaying could turn into falling. Any sort of reprisals were clearly going to have to wait for a time when she wasn't ridiculously drunk. Sighing as he accepted his long-suffering fate, Genma picked her up again, this time holding her bridal-style, which would at least keep her away from his ass.

Ino, acting as if this was her plan all along, slung her arms around his neck, blearily batting her eyelashes at him. "This is much more romantic."

He successfully fought off the urge to roll his eyes as he resumed walking, but he wasn't able to resist the urge to fuck with her. "I think you're drooling a little," he lied, smirking.

This only caused her to lean her face closer to his and loudly whisper, "Kiss it away."

He laughed in her face. "That's disgusting."

Ino gave him a devious smile in return. "Whatever. You still thought about it."

He couldn't stop his eyes from flickering down to her mouth, and she giggled, making him shake his head and mutter "shit", though his smirk remained.

That, for some reason, seemed to satisfy Ino, and she sighed contentedly and laid her head on his shoulder. Her fingers idly toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he fought off a shiver as he steeled himself and then jumped to the roof of the nearest building. It was a little easier to carry her like this, and he needed to get her home. She smelled way too good, and was way too close, and he was way too—well, he just needed to get her home. Alone.

"Genma," Ino said dreamily in his arms, and he slowed enough so that he could hear her easily.

"Mm?"

"I really like you."

"I'm beginning to pick up on that," he said in a droll tone. "You could have just said so, instead of getting so drunk I have to carry you home."

"That wasn't the plan. 'Sides, I like it when you carry me."

"I'm picking up on that, too," he replied with a huff of laughter. "Don't get too used to it, princess. I'm not that nice." Hell, taking her home like some kind of goddamn gentleman was really pushing it. "Which one is yours?"

Blinking, she pointed vaguely in the direction of the second floor. Genma decided it was a pretty safe bet that the balcony that belonged to her was the one that was filled nearly to overflowing with flowering plants. Jumping down from the neighboring roof, he landed neatly on the railing and then stepped down to the floor. Gingerly lowering her, he kept her steady with one arm as she looked up at him with those eyes that were ridiculously pretty, even when they were glassy.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

"Go to bed."

Her lips curled in a way that was distinctly feline. "Tuck me in."

Shaking his head—and exhibiting inhuman amounts of self-control, thank you very much—he put his hands on her waist and slowly guided her backward, making sure to keep her steady. When they reached her sliding door, he leaned into her long enough, breathing in that damned delicious smell as he slid the door open. Then he moved her over the threshold, keeping himself on the other side.

He stopped her there, and for the first time that night, stared at her with complete seriousness. "Ino. I doubt you're going to remember this tomorrow. But when I kiss you—and take you to bed—you're going to remember it."

It seemed like she's gotten to the part of the night where words were hard to form, because she just said "oh" in a dreamy voice.

"Can you make it to your bed from here?" He hoped so, because he knew damn well that going with her into her bedroom was a bad idea.

"Mmhmm," she said unconvincingly, but when he let her go she managed to keep her feet.

"Good." He watched her for a moment, then sighed. Being a good guy kind of sucked. "Sober up. Find me tomorrow."

"Sober up, find you tomorrow," she parroted. The slur was thicker now.

"Good girl," he said with a crooked grin. "Sweet dreams."

He watched for a moment as she shut the door between them, making sure she was moving more-or-less steadily before he finally turned and took to the rooftops again, torn between the urge to laugh and the urge to say a lot of very, very bad words.

Sighing, he headed back in the direction of the bar. If he wasn't going to get a goddamned medal for the feat of gentlemanship that he'd just completed, he was at least going to have another beer.