Summary: Homer wakes up in the middle of his night to being robbed and is given a blow to the head, not knowing it would change the Simpson lives forever.

Edit: 31/10/2018

I do not own the Simpsons.

Enjoy!

"Homer, don't snack in the middle of the night again. I don't want to go out and buy groceries again" Marge said, in her purple sleepwear, their family had to deal with food constantly running out because of her husband.

No wonder they couldn't get above the poverty line.

"Got it, Marge," Homer said, in his stripped PJs.

But they both know he would, he was Homer.

Both of them were in their bedroom, and the kids had been tucked in, Marge reached for the striped blue and yellow lamp an arms reach from her and pulled the string.

The last of the lights were turned off, and they both went to sleep.

Homer was asleep for exactly four hours before his body slapped him in the face, with the word 'Hungry'.

He got up and rolled out of bed, he wasn't awake, but his body had been doing this so long that it could find its way to the fridge no problem.

His body walked down the hall, the thick brown carpet did nothing to slow down his pace, he walked passed Lisa room, the brown door was broken, and Marge constantly nagged him about it, but he still hadn't fixed it.

He walked down the blue steps and into the hallway, opposite him was the brown door leading to the outside, in front of him was the living room which housed the small television and the brown couch, making it his second favourite room in the whole house.

His body turned around and went right, the sound of his loud snoring could be heard, but the Simpsons had long since learner to wear Earplugs.

He entered the kitchen without turning on the light.

The coldness of the blue and white tiled floor did nothing to stop his advancements; his body swerved around the brown table that was being held straight by Magazines.

His body began to touch what was in front of him; the green Cabinet above told his body he was close, he began to move to the right before feeling the cold surface of the white fridge.

He opened it, and his hands know instantly, what was Marge trying to get him to be healthy and the good stuff, which was Duff Beer, sausages and the chicken that Marge thought he hadn't seen.

His hands grabbed the red and silver Duff Beer and opened it before going straight into his mouth, the taste of the liquid dancing on his taste buds woke his brain up, and his eyes snapped open.

But instead of being concerned that he was in front of the fridge so early in the morning he yelled.

"Wahoo!" He began to chug the beer down and grabbed the chicken that had yet to marinate with the seasoning on it.

Suddenly he heard a noise from right behind him.

His body immediately went to find the switch and turned on the lights. He was startled when the lights came on.

Three guys stood in black mask's, black clothes, black shoes, all of them carried a big duffle bag.

Homer hadn't been alone in the Kitchen like he thought.

"You shouldn't have switched the light on fatso," said, the nearest one to him, the man spoke in a high pitched voice which made it that much scarier.

They all got out baseball bats and rushed into wack him.

Homer soon found his head under attack by the bats, but after 2 minutes, they all realised he would never be out cold.

Homer decided to taunt them and say. "Really baseball bats? I've been hit in the head so many times over the years that my head is as hard as steal" he tapped his forehead, and they heard a sound that sounded a lot like metal.

The three masked men looked at each other before getting something else out of their bags.

It was one of those impossible bulky mobile phones from the 80's.

"We got these extra bulky" Said, the one closest to him.

"D'oh!" Homer yelled before the phone hit him right in the head.

The impact sent waves through his body, and he collapsed immediately.

He couldn't hold onto his Beer, and it rolled onto the floor.

It was the last thing he saw before his vision went black.

# Sometime later#

Homer began to resurface from consciousness only to hear some beeping, he groaned.

He opened his eyes slowly to see the familiar white ceiling of the hospital.

He had woke up to the hospital so many times that he could instantly recognise it.

He craned his neck down, to see wires sticking out of his arms and his sleeves showed that he was in the simple hospital gown.

The beeping he heard was the life monitor not a meter away from him, right next to the open window covered with blue curtains.

Suddenly a woman with brown curly hair in a white nurse uniform came in and saw that he was awake.

She suddenly ran out of the door and went to no doubt tell the doctor who would no doubt contact his family.

Just great, he had about an hour of quietness before his family got here.

He wanted a beer.

#An hour later#

Just as he predicted, an hour later Doctor Hibbert entered the room with his family right behind him.

Homer felt like frowning when he saw his family.

He didn't realise how much his family wore the same clothes until now.

They looked incredibly cheap and worn out.

Did they always look like that?

"It's nice to see you awake Homer" Dr Hibbert said, before laughing inappropriately. "I thought you would be in a coma for life."

Homer said in the raspy voice. "W-What happened?"

"We found you passed out in the kitchen. It took us a while to figure out you weren't just past out from being drunk" Lisa said.

"We got robbed!" Bart said, excited.

"But then the robbers realised that we had nothing of value. Most of our things are cheap plastic anyway" Marge said. "They returned them."

"You've been in a coma for two months," Dr Hibbert said with a smile before the man said. "You've been here so many times for head injuries; your head doesn't look like it should, so we weren't sure if you were okay or not" The man got out a file and showed him the X-ray of his mind, so many operations; it made his mind look vastly different compared to a normal human being.

"We're just glad, your safe" Marge said.

"Mom had to get a job as a florist to take care of the bill and the family," Bart said.

This time Homer did frown.

Then he remembered that the Doctor Hibbert was expensive for no reason.

Surprisingly, he was not okay with that.

"Dad, is something wrong?" Lisa said.

Homer decided to drop it and say. "I'm okay, sweetie. Dad needs a trip to Moe's."

"Exactly, Homer. I would advise not drinking bee-" began Doctor Hibbert.

"What I'm hearing is that I should go to Moe's immediately" Homer finished.

Marge gave him, her disapproving look but she was just glad that he was okay.

Homer took out his wire's and said. "Excuse me, Marge. Kids. Daddy needs a Beer."

Then he hopped out of bed; the cold Hospital floor did nothing to deter him; he didn't care that he was in his hospital Gown or that it didn't cover his ass.

He walked out of the room and strutted his stuff down the white hallway, past two Families and about a dozen Hospital staff.

One mother had to cover her two girls eyes while her husband covered both her's and his own.

Homer went down the steps and then out of the reception, a massive row of blue chairs sat in the middle of the room where people were waiting.

Those in the waiting room got a full view of his ass and covered their eyes; somebody even burst into flames.

He went through the door and soon found the car, the door was locked, but he knew the in, and outs of the car, not even the alarm worked so he broke in and unlocked it.

Then he realised Marge had the Keys.

"That has never stopped me from having Beer," Homer said, before kick-starting the car just like in the movies.

His family watched him, through his hospital window drive away.

He had left them to walk home.

# Homer#

Homer drove out of the car park and into the streets, felt like he had just done something terrible.

He shook his head.

All he needed was a Beer.

He drove into town and couldn't help but frown at his surroundings; there were people in cheap clothes everywhere.

The police who were meant to protect the town was chasing after the man who should have been behind bars a long time ago but was still robbing people.

The police had to stop because Chef Wiggum was too fat to continue.

Homer saw a nest of rats being gun down by a family of red necks.

And then he saw the vast mass of tires that had been burning for years.

"Was Springfield always this terrible looking?" Homer said, this was the town he worked in, and his family lived in, this was the place his kids were growing up in.

He stopped the car right in front of Moe's; Moe's the place that brought him the most joy.

Homer frowned when he saw the crooked sign, the drunkards outside.

He made the mistake of going out, the smell of alcohol, Cigarettes and Sex from the strip club across the street assaulted his nose.

He almost went back into the car.

What was wrong with him?

This place was Moe's, his most treasured place in the world.

He got out and walked to the crooked wooden door.

It was sticky, and Homer wanted to put his hand away and wash it, but he pressed on.

The inside of Moe's smelled even worse; it was like the smell was kicked up by a thousand and thrown in there was the smell of urine and Rat Poison that was doing nothing to the rat population.

Homer saw his simple bar table, with his familiar friends at it.

"Hey, Homer. Your out" Moe said, seeing him, Homer could see the smile in Moe's eyes.

Homer was encouraged to come forward and to take a seat next to Barnie.

The seat was sticky.

"*burp* Hi, Homer," Barney said, and Homer suddenly found himself staring at a face that had aged, unfocused eyes and slobber coming foaming out of the mouth.

And the breath.

The God-awful breath.

Homer wanted to leave, did Barney always look like this!?

"Here you go, Homer. One on the House" Moe said, filling up a glass before sliding it to him.

Homer smiled as the glass slid to him and he grabbed the handle and poured the delicious liquid inside his mouth.

However, he stopped halfway and looked at it strangely.

"What's wrong Homer?" Berney said.

"Moe, can I get another glass?" Homer said, to the surprise BarTender.

"Sure, but I'll put it on your tab," Moe said, getting another glass and filling it up before placing it in front of him.

Homer excitedly took the new one and began to drink it, his eyes closed to savour it.

But the moment the liquid got into his mouth, his eyes opened instantly.

He put the glass down.

"What's wrong, Homer?" Moe said, seeing his most valued customer not drinking his beer.

"Moe, did you put a different brand of Beer, in lately?" Homer said.

Everybody looked at Homer strangely.

"No, Homer," Moe said. "I've been using the same brand ever since my shop opened up."

Homer's eyes widened in shock when he said. "But this taste like ass."

Now it was time for everybody in the bar to be shocked.

Did Homer, who spent more time at the bar than home call the beer ass?

"There is nothing wrong with my beer, Homer" Moe said, taking offence to that. "Maybe, it's you that has the problem. Perhaps you need to go back to the hospital and get your Taste Buds fixed."

Than Moe put a yellow and red bottle on the table, the label had words that sent a wave of horror over Him.

"DUFF!?" He said that was what he was drinking!?

But it tasted terrible!

No.

It can't be.

Homer got up from his seat, losing hairs in the process and rushed to the bathroom.

The bathroom which hadn't had a proper clean since its founding was a bathroom, nobody should be in, rats were running along the floor and everywhere was sticky, titles were out, and Homer did not want to touch the taps, but he did and splashed water on himself.

The beer here tasted like ass.

Duff beer tasted like ass.

He couldn't seriously hate beer.

Right?

And scene!