._.

Jane

Chapter Five

Italian, Jane said, was boring.

Loki disagreed. It was among his favorites of the varied Midgardian cuisines. But while the idea began with him, it was thoroughly Jane's now, and she was commanding it like a new research project and a team of interns.

Of course, for this particular project she had no interns, only a husband who could track down almost any piece of knowledge needed, using his miniature online library.

Tapas, Jane said, was much more interesting.

"No," Loki said, interrupting her; he honestly hadn't been paying attention. He was usually good at listening with one ear and piecing it all together afterward, but he was rather more focused right now, and not on Jane.

"What do you mean 'no'? I bet you've never even heard of tapas."

"You lose. What do I win?" he asked, intentionally leering at Jane's nearly-naked body. He'd followed her into the bedroom when she got home, while she told him about an idea from one of her fellow researchers and changed out of her work clothes. Her work clothes today were no different from her regular clothes, but they'd gotten grimy from the hands-on work she still did with her machines.

She straightened up and saw the phone in his hand. "Will you put that thing down and listen to me?" She attempted to come over to him, hand out to swipe the phone, and instead tripped over the jeans she'd just been starting to pull on.

Loki was up in a flash to steady her. "Serves you right," he said with a laugh.

Jane swung her hips just so and twisted right out of his grasp. Loki supposed that served him right.

"So what's wrong with tapas?"

"It's nothing but appetizers and snacks. We can't serve them appetizers and snacks, not if your goal is to reciprocate. They served us a multi-course meal. Twice."

"It's not just…well, okay, maybe it is, technically, I don't know. But you serve a lot of them. That way everybody gets to try a lot of things without filling up on any one thing. And if you don't like something, you just move on to the next dish."

"Appetizers and snacks usually don't include meat."

Jane rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. "We'll make sure to get ones that have meat, okay, my big manly carnivore?"

Loki made a growling noise in his throat; he heard muffled laughter from behind the T-shirt Jane was pulling over her head.

"It'll be fun," Jane said when her head popped through. "We can both go through the menu and pick things we want to try. Come on, put that phone to use and find us a tapas place that caters."

"Yes, ma'am, Dr. Foster," Loki said, settling back at the foot of the bed cross-legged while Jane disappeared for a minute and returned with her brush. "All right, here's one. Mm-hmmm… What's chorizo?"

"Something you'll like."

Loki opened up a new search. "Pork sausage," he said, eyebrows inching up. "I think you might be right."

"Stop salivating and keep searching."

"Can't help it. I skipped lunch today and I'm hungry."

"Why'd you skip lunch?"

"Someone has to pay for this catering."

"You're going to have to skip a lot of lunches if that's the plan."

"Anything for you, my beloved." He had skipped lunch, but they'd asked him to test out some weapons at work, and he'd simply gotten carried away in the fun of it, far more interesting than the usual things they wanted him to work on. "Actually, though, this isn't expensive at all. The chorizo is only one dollar and ninety-five cents per person. How can that be? Do you have to cook it yourself? Because that would rather defeat the purpose."

"That is a lot less than I figured. But remember it's not a meal-sized portion you're getting for that. Maybe it's just a few small pieces."

"If we ordered four of those, then, it's still less than eight dollars."

"And we don't have to get four. It's meant for sharing. We could probably just get two of whatever we want to order."

"We'll still get four. Then the rest of you can share two and I'll have the other two. Everything on the menu is similarly priced. A little less than two dollars, or a little more. One item is two and a half dollars…mmm. We're getting that, too."

"I knew you would like this. Which one?"

"Banderillas."

"Banderillas," Jane said, correcting his pronunciation to the "y" sound. "Like tortillas. What is it?"

"Chicken and chorizo on a skewer. And why are you correcting me if you don't even know what it is?"

Jane made a sound of frustration, but one Loki knew he need not take seriously. "Sometimes you really drive me crazy."

"Crazy with desire."

"Okay, I'm getting hungry, and before you say it, no, not for you. Will you just keep looking? Does it say if there's a minimum order?"

Loki let out a put-upon sigh. "Ah. Here it-"

"What?"

He blinked and forced his eyes back down to their usual degree of openness. "Allow me to read. The quoted pricing is based on fifty or more people served buffet style. Menu pricing does not reflect an additional fifteen percent gratuity."

He looked up to see Jane's expression matching his earlier one.

Neither of them said anything for a long moment.

"Maybe find us another one," Jane said with forced brightness.

"Good idea."

And then, for some reason, they were both laughing, and then laughing harder, until they toppled over on the bed together.

"How about this one?" Loki asked a couple of minutes later, Jane curled up against him, her back to his chest, his arms stretched out over and under her so they could both see the screen.

"Yeah, let's look at that one."

/

/

"Oh, hi, welcome back," the waitress said, kicking off that almost scripted round of pleasantries.

Jane asked for a minute, so Loki perused the menu, too, this time paying more attention to some of the other unfamiliar ingredients. He thought about pulling out his phone, but he'd probably pushed his luck there enough lately. He picked up the drink menu for the first time, thinking he might try something other than coffee or red wine this time, something with a bit more of a bite, but instead of noticing any of the drinks, his eyes wound up tracking another of those twisting quotes that wound its way around the offerings.

"What?"

His eyes slowly refocused on Jane, who was watching him with genuine curiosity. Who knew what idiotic expression he'd let fall over his face. "Another quote. I'd forgotten it. It's from early on; Jane's friend Helen says it. Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs."

Jane nodded. "I remember it. It's a nice quote."

"Hm. And what do you suppose is the point? Here, I mean. That one should nurse a…a gin sling, for example, instead?" he asked, pulling a random offering from the cocktail list.

"Maybe. Or maybe that you can try to work things out over a drink."

"I'm not sure that drink ever helped anyone work things out."

"Maybe you should call him back."

Thor had called last night. And some inconsequential comment had grown into something rather consequential after all. Nothing new really; just the disturbing of one of many old wounds. It happened. Not often these days, but it happened. The conversation ended in mutual insults and Loki destroying the phone. (Their house phone, not his cell phone.) For the most part, Jane steered clear of such incidents. They'd learned early on that her involvement didn't particularly help such matters.

Loki's gaze shifted back to the drink menu. Nursing animosity and registering wrongs. He'd spent a large portion of his life on that already, perhaps even the majority. "He should be the one to call me," he muttered.

"How would you know if he had? We haven't bought a new phone yet. And you won't give him your cell phone number."

"I don't need for anyone to be able to contact me twenty-four hours a day, except you."

Jane arched an eyebrow at him, and Loki could almost swear he was looking into a mirror.

"I'll call him when we get home. On your phone."

"Okay," Jane said with a shrug.

Loki almost said "thank you," but he realized he wouldn't be able to articulate an answer if she asked him why he'd said it. Instead he gave her a smile, then signaled the waitress over. Thor had intruded on their dinner enough already. He ordered a gin sling, echoed by Jane who'd picked up the drink menu, too. "A couple of questions about the menu, if you don't mind."

"Sure, go ahead."

"What is 'black treacle'?"

"It's a dark syrup, kind of like molasses. A little bitter."

"All right. And…'sheep's trotters'?" he asked more hesitantly.

"Um…it's feet. Sheep's feet."

Jane made a rather comical face, there and gone in an instant. Entirely unrelated, Loki burst out laughing.

"Okay, honey," Jane said, and wasn't that sweet, he was embarrassing her!

Loki knew he was about to embarrass her more.

"My apologies for laughing," he said, still laughing, to the waitress standing there with an awkward smile on her face. "It's just that I'd guessed they were testicles!"

"We are never coming here again," Jane whisper-hissed at him after she told the waitress to give them another minute.

"Oh, come on, Love, you have so many euphemisms for such things here, it was a reasonable guess. I've never heard of euphemisms for feet."

"Neither have I. But did you have to be that loud?"

Loki grinned widely. "Yes," he said with raised brow.

Jane just shook her head at him; Loki laughed again.

When the waitress returned – a bit of pink in her cheeks – she took Jane's order, then turned to him. "What can I get for you tonight?"

"Jane, of course. Tonight and every night. Every morning, too."

"You must really love cockles and whelks."

His eyes slid from the waitress over to Jane. "I really love Jane."

Jane gave a breathy laugh through her nose and averted her eyes. He was still embarrassing her a little, but this was the kind he knew she didn't actually mind. When he looked at the waitress again, she was eyeing him with curiosity, but then seemed to remember herself and asked if he wanted the cheese plate with his bread. She noted his assent in her little notebook and headed off with the menus.

/

/

"Nervous about tomorrow night?" Loki asked midway through the meal. The plain whelks sat untouched, while he'd managed four or five spoonfuls of the soup, seeking out the vegetables and avoiding the sea snails.

"Yeah. But how bad can we screw it up?"

"Let's not tempt fate, darling."

They'd found a tapas restaurant that was highly rated, and would cater for a minimum of eight orders per item, with pricing that was at least competitive. La Casita would deliver the food and set up half of it for them…while he and Jane moved the other half to the refrigerator. Ethan and Hannah had seemed genuinely excited about the idea – and Loki was fairly good at spotting falsehood.

"How is everything?" asked the waitress.

"Delicious," Jane answered.

"Very good," Loki said.

"Are you sure? If it's not cooked the way you like it or something, I could get you something else."

"No, thank you. I don't want anything but Jane."

"Okay, I have to ask. Is your name Jane?"

Jane laughed over a bite of the cod she'd ordered, and covered her mouth.

"It is," he answered for her.

"That explains a lot. You don't actually like cockles and whelks, do you?"

Loki smiled serenely. "I like Jane."

"That's really sweet."

"Merely the truth."

/

/

"Well?"

Jane turned around, peered out the peep hole, then turned back, huge grin on her face, apparently satisfied their neighbors were truly gone.

The next think Loki knew she was rushing at him with a squeal of excitement, throwing herself into the arms he barely managed to open in time for her.

"It was perfect. It was so perfect. And how did I not know what an amazing host you are?"

Loki laughed. "I was raised a prince, you know. One learns a few things about hosting. Besides, we've grilled for them a few times, and for a few of your friends from-"

"I know, but this was different. You were so good. You were perfect. The whole thing was perfect," Jane said, following it up with a kiss full of so much more enthusiasm than technique that it more than anything made Loki want to laugh. Seeing Jane so radiantly happy filled him with joy.

"I'm glad you're pleased," he said, hands slipping to her waist.

"And when Hannah and I went into the kitchen, we talked about cooking and she was so nice about it. She said she gets stressed out at work and chopping things into little pieces relaxes her."

"Clever woman, that. I've always found wielding a sharp knife to be relaxing."

"I guess I walked right into that one," Jane said over a laugh.

"Through a door blown right off its hinges."

Jane hugged and squeezed him; he let her rock him side to side.

"You already cleaned up, right?"

"Mm-hm. Hannah helped."

"Then come to bed."

"Noooo, I'm too full," she said, pressing the top of her head to his chest.

He'd known it was unlikely. But maybe in a couple of hours. "I have just the thing. How about we stretch out on the couch and watch this?"

One hand came off her hip, and presented an item to Jane when she pulled back from him.

"A movie?" she said, taking the plastic DVD case from him. "Jane Eyre? When did you get this?"

"Today, when I got the new phone. It's the most recent version, and received a number of awards."

Jane grasped his hand, gave it a tug, and together they headed back to the living room.

/

/

Two weeks later, they were back at the restaurant with the periwinkle tablecloths. They had a plan. They'd reviewed the movie and how it differed from the book on the drive over, and over dinner, they would impress eavesdroppers with their discussion of the comparisons. Merely an innocent game for laughs, but Jane was excited about it. She'd been in a jubilant mood ever since the successful catering dinner with the neighbors, and tonight she'd been full of restless energy.

"I'll be right back," she said as soon as they were shown to a table.

Loki sat; Jane threw a nervous-looking smile over her shoulder and headed off, stopping to say something to one of the staff before continuing on toward the restroom.

Everything Jane said tonight would probably sound rehearsed. She simply lacked any talent for subterfuge. She was certainly adorable when she attempted it, though.

While he waited, Loki occupied himself with idle perusal of the drink menu. He'd forgotten about the quote on it. Nursing animosity and registering wrongs. He'd patched things up with Thor. Again. It wasn't as hard as it used to be. Thor had changed. He had changed. He once would have said that satisfaction wasn't in his nature. Now? He was satisfied. Truly satisfied. It made letting go of animosity and wrongs a little easier. Tonight, he thought instead he might nurse a gin sling, minus the sling.

Jane soon returned, and right after her the waitress, the same one as the last two visits.

"Here are your menus. I know you're regulars, so maybe you already know what you want?" the young woman asked somewhat anxiously. The poor thing. Perhaps he really had embarrassed her when he'd asked about sheep's trotters last time. The thought of it had him holding back more laughter.

"Um, yeah, actually. I'll have the Eliza. That was really good. Oh! And that recommended Burgundy pairing we had before. The bottle."

"Okay. And what would you like this evening, sir?"

The smile came forth, the one that suffused his entire body and spirit. "Jane."

The waitress spoiled the mood with an actual giggle. Well, she knew why he kept ordering that dish now, and she'd said it was "sweet."

"Are you sure I can't tempt you with something else?" she asked. "The Helen is one of our most popular dishes. The Blanche?"

"I'm sure they're wonderful. But even if my eye briefly wanders, I'll never stray from Jane."

The way the waitress looked at him now, Loki suspected she might have fallen a little bit in love with him. Right here in front of his wife, as he declared his eternal love for her. He sat back and smiled at Jane. She knew he wasn't flirting; he'd said the same sorts of things to the male waiter, that first night here. And that meant he was perfectly free to derive some pleasure from it, he thought as he continued smiling at Jane.

Jane, apparently, wasn't bothered at all by the hearts thumping in the waitress's eyes; she was smiling in her own mischievous way. Tonight was going to be such fun.

The waitress mumbled something and hurried off.

Loki opened his mouth to call her back, then thought better of it. Why destroy a moment? "She forgot to ask about the cheese," he said.

Jane nodded, lips pursed, smiling.

"And I was going to order a drink."

"She'll be back."

"She's very distracted though."

"I guess so."

"It seems fidelity can be quite a turn-on."

A short laugh burst out. "Well, its opposite certainly wouldn't work out very well for you."

"I'll never find out."

"That was the deal."

"Best deal I ever made."

"Same here," Jane said, expression softening from teasing to one that made Loki's heart speed up.

"Jane…I got you something."

"Yeah?"

Loki glanced around; their waitress was busy at another table, but the other waitress was up at the cash register, and looking their way, though she quickly averted her eyes when Loki's gaze caught hers. He wondered if their waitress had been chatting with the other one.

It simply meant he had to be more careful. He slipped a hand under the table, and, hidden by the periwinkle tablecloth, in it appeared a simple white envelope. His hand reemerged, and without a word he handed the envelope over to Jane.

His heart was still racing, but for a different reason entirely now. He was going to have to tread carefully. He closely watched Jane's expression for indications of her initial reaction.

When it came, it was primarily confusion.

"Cooking lessons?"

He nodded. "Only if you're interested. Only if you want to. Jane, I swear to you, I don't care at all whether or not you cook. I love going to restaurants with you. If we didn't go out to eat so much, we never would have come to this place. We never would have read" – he made a point of glancing around, then leaning in and whispering the next few words – "that book together. If you want to try something new, though, for you, well, this is an option. It's six evenings, and four Saturday mornings."

"I don't know, Loki. If ninth grade home ec didn't do it…"

"This isn't ninth grade home ec," Loki said, though truth be told, for all he knew, it was exactly the same as ninth grade home ec, since he had no idea what home ec was. "This is a company that teaches the scientific principles of cooking. The effect key ingredients have on one another. Principles of heat and moisture, and the different means of heating. Boiling versus broiling. It's meant to be practical. Students learn to prepare delicious yet simple meals effectively and efficiently. If that sounds like it's from the website, it is. I'm telling you all this so you understand what the classes are about, though, not to convince you. I don't want to give you the impression that you're in any way not enough for me, just as you are."

"Jane is enough for you, huh?"

"Always," Loki said with a grin. She was quoting his words to the waiter, the first time they'd come here.

"Okay. Scientific principles of cooking…that's an interesting perspective. If I thought about it that way…maybe it would hold my attention long enough to have at least a slim chance of getting it right. And maybe if I actually knew those principles…maybe I would get it right every now and then. But…wouldn't it be kind of…embarrassing? Boiling versus broiling? I'm a grown woman, I should already know these things. And just for the record, I do know what boiling is."

"You're a grown career woman who has invested her time elsewhere. And they wouldn't offer the class if people didn't need it. The lessons are held in a kitchen where you try out the things you're learning, so they're kept small. Five maximum, two minimum. No need to feel embarrassed."

"So if I worked up the nerve to sign up but nobody else does, it's cancelled?"

"It won't be cancelled."

"You can't know that."

"I know for a fact that if you sign up, at least one other person will, too."

"Who?"

Loki gave her a look. A come now, my love, you are smarter than that look.

"You? You would sign up?"

"I would. I've been thinking about it ever since you mentioned taking instruction. You're one of the leading minds on your world in astrophysics. And I'm…well…me."

"Very funny."

"Who's joking? My point is, you were right, but not just about me. We both take instruction well. So I'll learn what items will set the microwave on fire, and how to avoid poisoning you. And you'll-"

"You didn't-"

"I'm making a point now, darling. Please let me. You'll learn why you can't skip steps in the recipes, or perhaps when you can skip steps. And perhaps how to use a nice, loud timer."

Jane shot him a look; he laughed.

"And we'll do it together. It'll be fun."

"You sound like you're trying to convince me."

"All right, perhaps I am. It says it right on the menu, the quote from Charlotte Brontë, I feel monotony and death to be almost the same thing. There is no monotony with us, of course. But the spirit of it, I think, is to continually try new things."

"Both of us trying to cook something, together, and not just meat on the firepit…that would definitely be a new thing."

Loki nodded. He'd said all he could on the matter.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. Cooking classes. Let's do it. Why not? If worst comes to worst…it's their kitchen we burn down, not ours."

"That's the spirit, Love," Loki said with a grin.

A couple of minutes later the wine came as they began their agreed-upon comparison of Jane Eyre the book and Jane Eyre the movie, and a few minutes after that the waitress returned, carrying two plates. Plates, Loki noticed, and not the wooden serving board.

He was just thinking perhaps they'd run out of serving boards when his eyes focused on what was on the plate being placed in front of him. Roast beef – tender, moist roast beef that was already breaking apart, just the way he liked it – surrounded by an artistic arrangement of carrots, potatoes, onions, turnips, and parsnips with rosemary and little sprigs of parsley.

It looked delicious.

He stared.

His mouth watered.

He had to send it back.

Avoiding Jane's eyes, he dragged his gaze straight up to the waitress, who was watching him.

"I'm sorry," he began, and oh, how sorry he was! "I asked for Jane, and I'm afraid nothing can sway me from her." Not even if it makes me drool, he silently added.

"Yes, sir. That's Jane."

"No, this is…." He couldn't remember which dish it actually was; he hadn't ever paid much attention to the names of the dishes, other than Jane, and the dishes Jane had ordered. But the waitress was smiling, and not the normal "good evening what can I get for you" smile. He looked over at Jane. Smiling. Not unlike the waitress.

"All right, what-"

"Would you like to review the menu, sir?"

Eyes narrowed, Loki silently took the outheld menu from the waitress. He opened it, found the spot where Jane was located on the sheet of paper behind the plastic. No mention of whelks. No mention of cockles. Instead, roast beef and vegetables.

His eyes found Jane's again. Mischief stared him right in the face and he hadn't recognized it. Her little trip to the bathroom earlier? The words she'd exchanged with one of the other restaurant employees? She hadn't arranged it then, there wouldn't have been time, but she had reminded them of it. She'd arranged it sometime before.

Not twenty minutes earlier, he'd been thinking she had no gift for subterfuge.

"I see you've updated the menus," he said, gaze sliding slowly from Jane to the waitress.

"Mm-hm. Two of them, anyway. We, um, haven't gotten to the rest yet."

"What a shame," Jane said. "You didn't get what you thought you were getting. Do you want to change your order?"

"Certainly not. No matter how Jane appears, no matter how Jane changes, or doesn't change, I want only Jane. Always and forever." He handed the menu back.

When the waitress, who had stuttered over asking them if they wanted anything else to drink, left them, Loki gave Jane – his wife – a long silent look. Without breaking eye contact, he took his fork, pulled off some meat, and closed his lips around the tines.

"That good, huh?" Jane asked, watching his reactions.

He swallowed, licked his lips, at least as much for Jane's benefit as his own. "Jane is mouthwatering."

She laughed, with that lovely little twinge of embarrassment in her eyes.

He took another bite.

"I love Jane."

Another bite.

"I adore Jane."

Bite.

"I can't get enough of Jane."

Bite.

"Jane is full of surprises."

Laughter.

Bite.

"Jane never ceases to amaze me."

Bite.

"Don't eat too much."

It took a second. "Hm? What?"

"Don't let yourself get overfull. As soon as we leave here, I'm going to be in desperate need of Jane. So much Jane. For dessert."

"This isn't fair," Jane said, after the usual glances around, to make sure no one heard.

"How so, my love?"

"There's no Loki on the menu."

"I'll make a menu just for you. At home. Only one item on it."

"And you'll ask me what I want."

"And you'll say…?"

"Loki," Jane said. Quiet. Low. Sultry.

"Jane, darling?"

"Hm?"

"Eat quickly."

The End

Notes

So, this was my imagining of a married Loki and Jane, who've pretty well worked through their sticking points as a couple as well as Loki's serious issues as an individual. This is a Loki who indeed would no longer say "Satisfaction's not in my nature."

Writing-wise, I set a couple of restrictions on myself (I always aim to try out something new and different with each of these stories, though it's probably things that don't particularly stand out to you reading it). In this one it was: Loki POV only, no other characters appearing (except for nameless ones at the restaurant), no italicized thoughts, a kind of timelessness/placelessness. I also used a lot more...I'm not sure how to describe it, but maybe impressionistic "sentences" that aren't at all grammatically complete sentences - like right above ("Sultry.") - though if I were being more serious about that I'd go back and edit this and be a lot more intentional and thoughtful about that. But nah, I'd rather just release this chapter and be done with it. Hope you enjoyed this little bit of slice-of-life fluffiness!