Chapter 15: Lost in the Cruel World

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Previously: Eren feels motivated to re-take Wall Maria so people could get their livelihoods back. Hange shares her plan: capture Annie, fake Annie's escape to send the Royal Government on a wild goose chase, feed her to Dina.

I skipped the first 20 seconds of the episode so they wouldn't see the Titan guillotine.

"Here we are, last episode."

"Wow, we're at the end already, huh."

"Can't wait to get out and stretch my legs."

"Hello everyone, quick message before this episode begins."

"Been a while since we heard from Candy," Eren said, surprised to hear her voice.

"Do you think she'll offer more future episodes?" Connie really hoped so.

"You really think so?" Sasha was both excited and nervous at the prospect, once again worried about the revelations and deaths it would bring.

They straightened up in their seats in anticipation.

"Now, I'm sure you're thinking that maybe I'll give you guys more future episodes for next time, but no."

"Oh, well." Petra was disappointed but not too terribly so. "We've already go plenty of information."

Levi nodded. He was grateful for what she had shared so far. It would help save the lives of so many already.

Erwin inclined his head. "It's been a tremendous help and we can use it to turn the tables of this war in our favor."

"Nah, I kid. There's more future episodes if you're interested in returning one final time."

Jean gasped. "I fucking love Candy."

"Now she's just spoiling us," Christa said, smiling widely.

"I can't even imagine what she's going to show us next!" Armin said, eager for more.

"Shh!" Hange waved her hands impatiently. "I wanna know when we can expect the next episodes."

"I'll be sending the message out in about a week from now if you want more!"

"One week, huh…" Erwin rubbed his chin. "That's enough time to put some of our plans into effect. Of course, now I have to reconsider some things." But that was fine with him if it was the price for more future knowledge.

"Until next time then!"

"Man, I almost feel bad for our enemies. It's like we're cheating with Candy on our side." Despite his words, Connie was grinning widely.

"Hey, we were severely handicapped first by being totally blind about the outside world and everything," Eren said. "Now it's their turn to be the ones in the dark."

Mikasa and Eren stood atop the Wall, staring off into the distance.

"If we get Wall Maria back and defeat our enemies," a young Mikasa said, sitting on stone steps, Eren and Armin to her left, "will we be able to go back to those days?"

Eren exhaled before looking up. "We will. But not everything will be like before. We have to get revenge."

Back on the Wall, Mikasa watched Eren's back as the sun neared the horizon. "After that, what will Eren do? It's possible he'll go far away, leaving us behind. But…I can't stop him."

"I'm not going anywhere. Sure I run off on my own sometimes, but I'll still be around."

Ymir winced. She was not looking forward to them finding out about the Titan-Shifters' eventual and unavoidable demise.

An electric blue butterfly flew before her, grabbing Mikasa's attention. She watched it fly away. "When I thought about that, a strange scene played in my head. I thought I'd seen it before."

The screen became white before a black and white butterfly appeared, flying over vibrant violet flowers.

A young Mikasa chased after it, holding her straw hat to her head, smiling.

The butterfly landed in a grasshopper's grasp. Mikasa knelt before the vegetable patch, watching as the green inspect began to eat the butterfly. Seconds later, rain began to fall.

Armin and Eren shifted uncomfortable, hoping the TV wouldn't make her relive her nightmare all over again. It was bad enough they'd all been forced to watch it once, but twice was unnecessarily cruel.

Mikasa sat stiffly, hoping it would stop soon.

"This sewing technique has been shared in our family for generations," Mrs. Ackerman said while the downpour continued. Mikasa sat next to her at the dining table, her father across from them, peeling vegetables. "I'll teach it to you when you have a child, Mikasa."

Why is it showing this again? Mikasa gritted her teeth, glaring at the screen.

"Maybe it's broken," Petra spoke up hesitantly.

"I can't imagine Candy made a mistake," Erwin said. "We must be meant to watch this."

"How do you have a baby?" Mikasa asked innocently.

"That's…why don't you ask your father?" Her mother suggested with a teasing lilt to her voice.

"Hey, Dad," she said questioningly.

"Well, I'm not really sure how," her father answered nervously. "Dr. Yeager will be here soon." His wife laughed at the deflection. "Why don't you ask him?"

If it ended there, Mikasa would be fine. But there was no way in hell she'd be made to watch that horror show once again.

"Oh! He's here." Mr. Ackerman sounded relieved when a knock came from the front door.

Levi debated sharing what he'd picked up from initially watching the scene. Maybe there was a reason Candy was bringing this up again. Did she think he hadn't put it together? Was that why it was replaying? Mikasa had been pretty hurt that they'd been forced to watch her tragedy when it hadn't supposedly led to anything last time. While he hoped to save it for when they were alone, if could spare her that pain of watching that massacre…

"Mikasa, if you run the needle through here, it's better."

"Dr. Yeager, we have been wait—" A stabbing sound cut him off and Mr. Ackerman fell over.

Mikasa flinched. "Let's just skip this," she said, not wanting to see any more.

"This is pointless," Eren jumped in. "We've already seen it once before. We don't need to again."

Armin nodded fiercely. "This is unnecessary."

"Yes, you're right," Levi said almost reluctantly. It was not the time and place he'd wanted to bring it up, but he may as well get it over with. He hadn't missed Mikasa's face when her father was stabbed. "Last time there was a reason for it."

"You know what it was?" Mikasa asked skeptically. She hadn't been able to figure it out and it had driven her crazy.

"To cut straight to the point: we're related. That was what she wanted us, or me, to figure out."

They stared at him, dumbfounded.

Except for the group sitting in the left couch. "I can't believe it! I was right!" Sasha squealed.

"We were just joking around, but," Ymir said, surprised, "shit, they're really related?"

"It's so wonderful, though, isn't it?" Christa said longingly. "It must be nice to know that after thinking you were alone, you find out you still have family out there."

"Eh, I don't know how thrilled Mikasa will be. She did resent him for kicking Eren's ass during the trial." Connie looked over at her. "But I think she's mostly over it."

"So that's why you asked about her father," Armin said suddenly.

"Why did you?" Mikasa questioned him.

"Look, the short and simple version is the scene had some clues that only I would notice. If you want to find out more, we can talk later." It wasn't something he wanted to discuss with ten other people listening in. Both he and Mikasa were private people and he was sure she'd agree to wait. Besides, they only had so much time in the room. Family drama could wait until later.

Mikasa considered that. "Okay, we'll talk later." While she didn't suddenly feel any attachment to him or care to get close to him now that she knew they were apparently blood—as far as she was concerned, Eren and Armin were her family—she did want to learn more. If only because they had been forced to watch her parents' deaths so it would give meaning to that.

"Wow, I'd thought you two moved similarly," Petra said, thinking about the duo's polished way of fighting. "But maybe it's a family thing."

"You could say that," Levi muttered under his breath.

Corporal Levi and Mikasa are family. That's…well, seems fitting, actually. Armin thought the two even looked like they could be related. Though Mikasa just had some exotic features due to her mixed heritage.

"So, the two scariest people I know are related, figures," Eren joked lightly, but Mikasa continued frowning in thought.

"Hey Eren," Jean said, leaning in, "if you make Mikasa upset again Corporal Levi might whoop your ass."

"Huh?" Eren shoved his shoulder in, squishing Armin between them, "I'm not the one who pervs on her. Who do you think is getting his ass kicked?"

"It's gonna be the both of you if you don't knock it off," Armin said, pushing the two away.

The trafficker stepped in, flanked by a henchman. "Excuse me."

"Since there's no relevance to this scene, we don't need to watch this again." Before Erwin could fast-forward it, the scene played out differently than what they had originally seen.

Flashes of memories appeared: Eren wrapped Mikasa in his scarf, her finding him under the tree, meeting Hannes, the Colossal Titan peeking over Wall Maria, the training years, all leading up to Armin crying on the roof during the Battle for Trost.

Maybe my intervention wasn't necessary after all. Levi couldn't help but wonder what was going on in the girl's head. While it would be nice to have a decent relationship with his sole family member—he still wasn't certain Kenny was alive—he wouldn't be hurt if she kept her distance. Blood had never mattered to him when it came to family. Still, wouldn't be bad to get along with her.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa," Armin choked out, head bowed, clenching his fists. "Eren sacrificed himself for me. I couldn't do anything."

With a dead look in her eyes, she listened.

"I'm so sorry."

Mikasa flew over the rooftops, crashing when she ran out of gas.

A 15-meter with an awkward smile approached her while she stayed stiff in her spot. The bright blue butterfly rested on a pomegranate near her.

"If you don't like this reality, start again from zero." Mikasa's eyes widened slightly and the butterfly flew away. "You can choose the place you want. In that world, everything will be just as you want. However, you won't be able to stop Eren's death. Because Eren…"

It's the second worst moment in her life. Petra wasn't surprised to see her retreat into a happier place in her head. It was only normal. It was so tempting to think about how things would have turned out if something had gone differently than how it originally had.

Jean had often imagined what it would have been like had Marco survived. Maybe he would have joined the Survey Corps with them. They would have fought and grown together. How would he have reacted to Annie, Reiner, and Bertolt's betrayal with them?

Little Mikasa watched the grasshopper, but this time there was no butterfly being eaten. The rain came as it had the last time.

"I'll teach it to you when you have a child, Mikasa."

"Oh! He's here." Mr. Ackerman sounded relieved when a knock came. He opened the door.

They tensed, waiting for the knife.

It never came.

"Thank you for coming even with this rain. Come in, please."

"Doctor," Mrs. Ackerman said when Grisha entered, taking off his hat.

"I'm so confused right now," Connie muttered.

"You're not the only one." Sasha also felt clueless.

Ymir sighed and explained. "She's just experienced something really traumatic and is having a hard time coping with it. Sometimes people go into denial. But everyone at some point has imagined what the outcome would have been had things gone differently."

"Oh," Sasha said, understanding, "yeah. That makes sense. This is from when she thought Eren had died."

Christa silently thought about her childhood, how she would sometimes pretended her mother was attentive and loving and caring and how that felt like. Those daydreams had been so comforting and easy to slip into.

"Hello, excuse me. Hi, Mikasa," Grisha greeted her warmly, smiling, "good afternoon."

"Good afternoon," she said quietly.

"Hey, Eren, don't be shy and come in."

Eren came in and noticed Mikasa.

"H-Hello," she stuttered out.

"Hello," Eren said back.

Grisha placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "This is my son, Eren. He's nine-years-old old, just like you. He only has one friend."

"Heh, how pathetic, Eren." Jean smirked at him.

"I seem to recall your mother also asking us to be your friends, Jean-boy," Eren replied smugly.

Jean groaned. "Will you let that go already?"

"Since you refuse to stop calling me Potato girl, you'll never be rid of your nickname either," Sasha piped in.

Eren pushed off his father's hand.

"Please, get along with him," Grisha said.

"Yes," Mikasa responded as the rain stopped outside and the black and white butterfly rested by the window.

"They say your mother will have a baby," Eren said, waving his stick around.

"Yes." Mikasa clutched her hands before her chest.

Connie and Christa smothered their gasps. They weren't the only ones disturbed by the revelation.

So the reason Eren's father went to see them was because her mother was pregnant. Levi thought. It made her death even more horrible now.

Mikasa didn't like to think about that. It was bad enough losing the two people she cared about most in the world, but thinking if her mother had really turned out to be pregnant, it was one more loss she'd have to bear.

The two children were walking through the forest. "My mother says it will be a boy for sure," Mikasa continued. "That it feels different than when I was inside her."

"Maybe he'll become a good soldier."

"A soldier? Will you become a soldier?"

"Yeah." Eren smiled over his shoulder at her. "I will join the Survey Corps and explore the outside world."

"I'm not surprised," Armin said.

Even in her perfect reality Mikasa still pictured him the same. She knew he'd always be headstrong and willful no matter what. It was just who he was and she couldn't imagine him any differently.

"The outside world?" Mikasa repeated.

"The world outside the Walls. I have to train to kill the Titans!" Eren ran over a few large rock, swinging his stick like a sword and landing in a crouch, grinning. "What about you?"

"Me?"

He stood up. "Your father is a hunter and your mother grows vegetables. What are you going to do?"

"I…I…I don't know."

A barking sound echoed through the forest, startling them. Up the grassy incline, the sunlight blocked their view, only showed some dark shapes.

"L-Let's go back, Eren. My father always says not to go too deep into the woods."

Eren ran up at once.

Petra shook her head. "Of course."

"Suicidal bastard even in Mikasa's imagination, I see," Jean said.

"Wait!" Mikasa went after him, stopping when he threw his arm out to stop her.

A pack of wild dogs was feasting on three men. One was gnawing on a wrist while another one bit into a throat.

"Weren't those the kidnappers?" Sasha whispered so Mikasa wouldn't overhear.

"So the sex traffickers fell prey to wild animals and Dr. Yeager and Eren made it to them," Ymir put it together. "That's why they didn't show up to kill her parents and things became different."

"If I was in Mikasa's shoes and thought about how things might have gone differently, I'd feed them to rabid dogs, too," Christa confessed, not the least bit hesitant about that.

Mikasa stepped back in fear, breaking a twig. The sound grabbed the animals' attention. The pack bared their teeth at them, taking slow steps forward.

Eren pushed her further behind him, holding up his stick while she clutched the back of his shirt. Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut. A heartbeat seemed to pulse in the air. The dog quieted and slowly retreated. Eren let out a breath and approached one of the corpses and she finally opened her eyes, coming to join him.

Mikasa let out a scared sound. The man's eyes were open and blank, blood pooled around him from his throat, which was half eaten. A white butterfly rested peacefully on his forehead. Mikasa stared, distraught.

In the Ackerman house, Grisha knelt before Eren, holding him by the shoulders while Mikasa hugged her mother, her father standing behind them. "We went back home and told them about the bodies we had seen."

The door opened and Grisha's voice was heard. "Then I will tell the Military Police."

"I'll leave it to you," Mr. Ackerman's voice replied.

"See you later," Eren said to Mikasa and she nodded.

The father-son duo disappeared down the road as the Ackerman family watched them leave.

The evening changed to a bright new day. "Since then, Eren came to visit us with Dr. Yeager." Mikasa stopped when she noticed them walking up the dirt path toward the house.

Mikasa smiled brightly. "We didn't go back to the woods a lot." She and Eren hung out in the shade of a lone tree on a rolling grassy hill, a short but safe distance from the thick, bright green forest.

Eren awkwardly held a pair of clipper to the vine of an eggplant. "One day, Eren told me about Armin."

Mikasa laughed, placing a flower crown around Eren's head.

They laughed at the boy's face.

"It suits you, Eren."

"Very flattering."

"Don't you look cute, Princess Eren."

"Screw you guys." His words lacked any bite though. It was hard to get mad at such a sweet, happy moment.

At night, using the glow from the small lantern, Mikasa sewed diligently. She presented the Eren doll to the boy next time he came over.

"Aw, that's adorable. A little Eren doll!"

"She really nailed the angry little face."

"Yeah, it's got such a punchable face."

"You'd know all about having a punchable face, wouldn't you, Jean?"

"Now, now, let's keep it civil." Armin held up his hands placatingly. "If you two escalate then Corporal Levi will get annoyed at the constant interruption." To his satisfaction, the two promptly shut up. The Levi threat always brought the two in line.

"Armin is really smart," Eren said, sitting on a picnic cloth under the tree's shade, Mikasa next to him. "He reads lots of books and knows many things."

"Then, does he know how a baby's made?"

They began to smile.

"Huh? I know how."

Now the giggling started.

"Yeah, right."

"Oh this is gonna be good."

"Really?" Mikasa asked excitedly.

"A stork brings it and puts it inside the mother."

The group dissolved into laughter at that age-old answer.

"That's just too innocent for my image of you, Eren," Sasha said, laughing.

"I was a naive kid once, you know."

I think you mean crazy kid. Jean thought back to how easily Eren had murdered the sex traffickers and had not seemed to suffer any effects from it.

Mikasa seemed confused. "And how does the stork bring in the baby?"

"On their back."

"But the baby would fall," she pointed out.

"You're right." Eren looked up, thoughtful.

"Man, we really were that innocent, huh?" Eren felt so nostalgic.

Christa sighed. "This is so heartwarming."

We could have had more happy moments like this if the Titans hadn't invaded. Mikasa thought, feeling a pang at what could have been.

"That doesn't matter," Eren said, getting back to the matter at hand. "Armin knows a lot of things. He was the one that told me about the outside world. One day, we will go there together."

Mikasa smiled at his determination.

"That's my dream."

Mikasa waved when she noticed Grisha and Eren. Her smile fell when she noticed how beat up Eren's face looked. "What happened to you?"

He looked away.

Armin nodded. "Also very accurate."

Down by a small river, Mikasa stood next to the large rock where Eren perched. "In the outside world, there is a large amount of water called the ocean. Salt is a treasure, so merchants will want to keep it for themselves."

Mikasa listened to him quietly.

"But it's not like that. The ocean is so big that they could never sell it all. It's far bigger than we could imagine." He threw a rock into the crystal blue water. "A field of frozen flames, a frozen land, and a land that's only sand. All those things are in the outside world. The world there is so much bigger than the one here inside the Walls. But even with that, they…" He threw another rock into the water.

"They?"

"They're cowards." Eren stared ahead grimly. "They think everything is fine just because it's peaceful in here. They are always saying: 'Why go outside where it's so dangerous?' Armin said humanity will have to leave the Walls one day. They said he was crazy."

Mikasa blinked when he slammed his fist into his palm.

"This world is like that." Again, he hit his fist against his palm. "They will always be cowards. Those bastards are the ones who keep us locked inside the Walls." He stood, looking off into the sky.

"Eren?"

"I'll join the Survey Corps and go to the outside world!"

Mikasa stared worriedly at his declaration. "When he goes back, it's possible he'll get into an even worse fight and come back more hurt than he is now." She stood in her bedroom window, staring out into the darkness, one hand pressed to the glass. "But…I can't stop that." She brought her hands together. "In that case, 'At least I want to be by his side,' or that's what I thought."

"It would be so nice for all of us to go to the ocean together," Armin said, trying to picture that difficult dream.

Eren placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll get there one day, I just know it." He glanced at Mikasa. She nodded, smiling.

The lush green landscape of Shinganshina appeared, with a large river leading toward the Wall, a few structures here and there. Mikasa stood on the deck of a ship, clutching a dark hat in one hand and the white one she was hearing on her head.

"You want me to take this to Dr. Yeager?"

A flashback appeared of Mr. Ackerman kneeling before her, his wife in bed behind him, a hand on her swollen belly. "You can come back with him when he comes to visit."

Mikasa's eyes stung from unshed tears. She couldn't help but think about what if her mother really had been pregnant. Would her new sibling have been a boy like her mother thought it was? What would that have been like? It would have been nice to have another playmate around.

"Have fun with Eren," her mother said.

Mikasa ran to the edge of the ship and called out excitedly. "Eren!"

Eren held up a hand in greeting, quickly becoming distracted by the Liberty Bell's chiming. "Let's go, quick! The Survey Corps are back!" He ran off.

"Geez, don't just leave her there."

"Worst tour guide ever."

"Damnit, I can't see!" Eren dashed behind a whispering group of civilians watching the procession. He and Mikasa climbed up on two crates. Their happy smiles fell when they noticed the heavily injured and downtrodden soldiers.

"Moses…Moses!" The elderly woman approached the commander. "Excuse me. I can't find my son, Moses. Where is he?"

"Oh, not this scene…"

"Poor Shadis…"

"She's Moses' mother. Bring it," Keith said to the man next to him.

She pulled aside the cloth, revealing an arm.

"That was the only part we could recover," Keith informed her as she began to weep.

Mikasa was stricken as the woman fell to her knees, sobbing. "Are you going to join the Survey Corps?" Mikasa asked once the soldiers disappeared down the street. "Are you really going to join them?"

"Yes."

"I don't want that."

"How many times have they failed?" A man grumbled before Eren could reply.

"Uh-oh," Ymir said, having a bad feeling. "I think Eren's about to get beaten up again."

She won't be able to protect him. Hange thought. She's helpless now.

"That's really cruel," another man replied.

"That's true," the first one said. "It's like they are bait and it's somehow our fault." He grunted in pain, touching his head where Eren smacked him with a stick. "What are you doing, brat?"

"Let me go now!" Eren struggled to no avail when the man carried him by the collar into the back alley.

"Hey…" Mikasa said quietly.

As shitty as Levi thought it was, that traumatic experience Mikasa had with the sex traffickers had awakened her inner power and made her strong. Without that adversity forcing her to become someone capable of surviving, she was weak.

Eren let out a pained sound, crashing into a wall. "Don't make fun of the Survey Corps!" He glared, standing.

The man quickly kneed him in the gut when Eren charged at him. Mikasa took a step back, hand covering her mouth.

"Hey, come on, he's just a kid," his friend said.

"Shut up!" The man growled at him, holding Eren by the collar. "This damn kid needs to learn!"

A group of three kids stood nearby, smirking at the scene.

Ymir narrowed her eyes. "Why do those pricks look familiar?"

"Aren't those the bullies that were picking on Armin in the first episode?" Jean said.

"They're probably the ones who beat Eren earlier," Petra said. "Remember how they only fled cause Mikasa was with Eren that time?"

"Here!" The man threw Eren down and began kicking him.

Mikasa was frozen, only able to watch.

That's the trade-off. Mikasa thought, stoic. Growing up happy and sheltered meant she didn't have the stomach for violence. Without that traumatic hardening her, she didn't have what it took to protect the people she cared about.

"She's too scared to even go call for help," Jean said, feeling bad for her, and Eren, too.

Eren weakly opened his eyes, in bed, face bruised, a cloth over his head. Mikasa let out a quiet sigh of relief. The Eren doll rested on the table by the bed, another doll in pink with a red scarf wrapped around sitting against its back. "How long did I sleep?" Eren asked her.

"It wasn't too much."

Mikasa continued on with her life, carrying firewood while her father cut a tree down behind her, filling up fresh water from the river, clipping ripe vegetables. In her bedroom, she held her Eren doll. Snow eventually fell and gathered outside her window. The Eren doll was holding a stuffed pink bunny's hand.

"I can't get over its evil-looking face."

"It's hilariously cute."

Mikasa perked up, noticing Grisha walked up to the house. She was disappointed to see he was alone.

"Please," Mikasa whispered, sitting in bed, legs pressed to her chest, wet eyes staring at the Eren doll in her hand. "Please let me see Eren."

"It's gotta be so boring and lonely for her." Christa could certainly sympathize, having grown up without friends herself.

"I'd go crazy." Connie had grown up running around playing with a ton of village children. So it was unfathomable to him, being raised in solitude like that.

"It looks like an infection." Grisha set his medical bag down. "You will have to move to another place. There is one near where I live. That would be best in case something happens."

It was absolutely not real. Yet Mikasa still couldn't help but feel her insides twist in worry for her mother and unborn sibling.

Mikasa secretly listened in on the conversation.

"I see," Mr. Ackerman said.

She ran up to her mother's bedroom, sitting at her side.

"What is it?" Mrs. Ackerman asked warmly. Mikasa moved closer to her, pressing her face to her mother's belly. "What happened?"

"Mom, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Her mother smiled and gently rubbed her head.

These were the types of scenes of her parents she wanted to see and capture them in her mind and hold on to them forever.

"Why did you stop coming to my house?" Mikasa asked as she and Eren walked along the bank of the river, in town.

"They Survey Corps are gone," Eren told her, walking ahead of her. "They disbanded them because they couldn't get any results."

"I can't believe you disbanded us," Hange said teasingly and Mikasa shrugged.

"It seemed only a matter of time in my head then. If the Colossal Titan hadn't attacked and without any definitive progress, the Royal Government would have shut the Corps down."

"The gate was completely sealed. Nobody can go out anymore."

Wall Maria'a outer gate appeared, bricks and large rocks cementing the entrance shut.

"Doesn't mean no one can come in," Petra muttered, imagining how easily the Armored Titan could ram through that.

"The cowards are trying to keep us locked in here."

"Then you won't be going to the outside world?"

Eren stopped walking. "I will get out of here with Armin, using a hot air balloon." He walked toward the bank. "It's a giant balloon that can fly."

"What an imagination you have."

"Children's minds sure are something else. Imagine that, a giant balloon carrying people!"

Wonder where I got that idea from. Mikasa thought and shrugged it off.

"I'm building it with Armin. That's why I haven't been to your house, sorry." When Eren turned, he wasn't expecting her sad face.

"When will you leave?"

"In three days."

"I'm going, too." Her answered surprised him. "Take me with you, please. I want to go with you," she said more strongly.

Eren sighed heavily and she turned her gaze down. A red cloth wrapped around her. Eren finish putting his scarf around her by tossing the last of it over her head, leaving only her left eye visible.

They began giggling at that familiar scene.

"This will never not be funny."

"How are you so incompetent with putting on a scarf?"

"It was once!"

"If you go out through that small hatch and walk for a little while, you'll find a forest," Eren explained, pointing off in the distance. "You can give the scarf back to me, in three days, at night." He started walking away.

"Yes!" Mikasa nodded at his retreating back.

During the night, civilians were gathered in the streets in celebration. "The gate is finally sealed."

People mingled and drank.

"Right. They should have done it sooner."

A large bonfire was blazing in the center of the gathering.

"It's gonna keep people in, but not Titans out," Christa said.

Sasha shrugged. "Well, this is an imaginary world so they don't need to invade."

"Why not get rid of Titans altogether?" That was what Connie would do in his fantasy world.

"It would feel too unreal, I imagine," Ymir responded. "Easier to pretend it's real when it's more grounded in reality."

Mikasa ran through them, huffing loudly. "Don't be late," Eren's voice echoed in her head. "We will leave at the third ring of the bell." She glanced up when the Liberty Bell started chiming. Only two left!

Suddenly, someone grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"Look over here, ladies and gentleman!" The masked man kept a hold on her left wrist, opening his arms in display as he spoke. "I, the man of the mirror, am about to put on a hypnosis show!"

"Who is this freak?"

"You don't just grab a kid like that."

The crowd didn't seem to hear him.

"I will turn this sweet young girl into a killer!" He gestured to Mikasa then took a bow.

"Uh…" Sasha stared, brow furrowed, not sure how to take this.

No one listened to the man's declaration or spared them a glance.

"Ouch. Tough crowd."

"Now, little lady." The man knelt before her. "Look at my face."

Mikasa saw her own face, reflected back, eyes wide. She stepped back, intimidated by the clear glass mask with a vine design on one side. "Please, let me go."

"And where do you plan to go when I do?"

"I'm going to see my friend."

"I see. You better hurry then." The mirror man stood. "You shouldn't make your friend wait." He stepped aside.

"Thank you." Mikasa immediately tried to run past him.

"However," the masked man stopped her, lowering himself to meet her face, "I can't be made to look like a liar, right? I have to turn you into a killer using my hypnosis." He climbed up the stairs, closer to the big bonfire. "So here is an idea, why don't you kill me?"

"Anyone get what's going on here?"

"Nope."

"This is just weird."

Mikasa couldn't break free of him.

"It would take me some time to hypnotize you and make me kill you." He held tight as she continued to try and pull free. "That would be a problem, no?"

"Someone, please help me!" Mikasa begged the crowd.

No one reacted.

The bell started ringing.

"Too bad for you. You won't make it in time no matter how fast you run. Your friend will leave you behind." The masked man looked toward the flames.

"Do you know Eren? Who are you?"

He released her. "I'm no one, but…at the same time I am someone, too." He revealed the daggers he carried under his hooded jacket. They shone, reflecting her face. "And, I know hypnosis really well." He held up one knife, handle toward her. "You are lost." He went on one knee, placing the knife in her hand. "You arrived here because of your desire." Bringing her other hand to it, he ensured she held the blade out toward him. "You couldn't accept Eren's death and you created this world."

"Ah," Hange said, nodding wisely, "I get it. Why the mask is a mirror. Because this person is actually Mikasa. She can pretend and create a nice happy world but in the end, deep down she knows it's fake and she's getting in her own way, knowing it's just a fantasy and she can't stick around in that world forever."

Levi rolled his eyes. "Hange, you're thinking way too deeply into this."

Mikasa followed him with her eyes, walking to her side.

Then the mirror man struck his face near hers. "However, no matter what world you go to, you can't avoid Eren's death." The voice became more feminine and familiar, almost distant. "That's because Eren carries death within his body."

"I swear Candy's doing this on purpose," Ymir muttered, thinking about the thirteen-year curse.

"Did you say something?" Christa asked.

She mentally kicked herself. "No, nothing."

Mikasa looked almost as if in a trance.

"It's useless," an older Mikasa's voice said, "trying to protect him, he'll end up dead anyway."

"See?" Hange pointed triumphantly. "What did I tell you?"

"If you think it's a lie, go see for yourself. However, you have to kill me first. You have to become stronger and go back to the previous world."

The Liberty Bell broke the girl out of her dazed state. "Why are you getting in the way?" Mikasa muttered, a lost look in her eyes. "All I want is to be with Eren. That's all. Why?"

A silhouette of a teenage Mikasa appeared. "There is no other way." She was replaced by the mirror man. "The world is cruel."

Mikasa's eye widened. Then, this world… She gripped the knife and blood squirted. Sparks and golden lightning crackled in her body.

She can't stay there forever. Petra imagined it was as Hange said. As nice as it had been to create a fake world where the worst thing that worst to her didn't happen, it wasn't permanent and it was time to get back to the real world.

The lightning of transforming Titan struck and she snapped her head to the Wall, the Colossal Titan's head flickering.

Reality's come calling. Erwin thought. Can't ignore it forever.

A woman's screamed pulled Mikasa's attention away from it.

The woman pointed a shaky finger, gasping, at where the mirror man lay, on his stomach, a knife sticking out of his back. Blood had splattered over Mikasa clothes. She stared in shock at her trembling hands.

The man sat up and stood. "Did you see it?! The man of the mirror turned this little girl into a murderer!" He took a bow. Next, he displayed the knife to them, pressing a finger to the tip, causing the blade to retract. "As you can see, it has a retractable blade! Also—" he held up a pouch tied to a small wooden square— "we have a bag of fake blood. However, her stabbing me was as real as Titans!" He gestured to her with his hand before bringing it to his chest.

"That was pretty clever," Connie admitted. "Mean, but clever."

"How was it, everyone? That was the show from the man of the mirror!"

The crowd began clapping as he took a bow.

"Who would clap about this?"

"This episode is just too strange."

Mikasa took the chance to run away.

Coins were tossed at his feet. "Thank you very much!"

Rained poured gently as Mikasa ran, over a bridge, and finally made to a lone tree that Armin sat against it. The small lantern before him was the only source of light nearby in the dark evening sky. He tilted his head, though not looking at her, on his knees, right hand holding his other shoulder. "Are you Mikasa?" Armin asked when she stopped before him.

She nodded. "Where is Eren?" Mikasa glanced around.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa." His fist trembled. "It's all my fault. The balloon failed when it started to gain altitude," he said in a trembling voice, "so Eren threw me out of it."

"Jeez, why're you so convinced I'm gonna die?" Eren grumbled, arms crossed over his chest. "I can't believe you killed me even in your happy world."

"That's cause you're a reckless moron who always get himself into deep shit and has to be rescued," Jean said instead.

"Honestly I'd be surprised if Eren doesn't get kidnapped in the next set of future episodes," Ymir joked, making her couch mates laugh.

The electric blue butterfly went by Mikasa, their reflections in a puddle in the grass.

"But he couldn't get out of it, and then the balloon crashed against the Wall." Armin finally lifted his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Eren sacrificed himself for me." Mikasa listened to him, horrified. "I couldn't do anything."

All the memories began to play before her eyes.

Mikasa grunted, back in the real world and out of her head.

Sunlight broke through the clouds in one spot, highlighting the pomegranate a couple of yards before her. She stood. "The only thing left inside me was the feeling I've had a really long dream."

A 15-meter Titan with an awkward smile approached her, blocking the sun, and she moved back.

"A terrible and sad dream."

Mikasa turned to run in the other direction but another 15-meter slid to a stop at the end of the street.

"And when I woke up, I couldn't accept Eren's death as part of my reality." She stood between the two approaching Titans. Mikasa clutched her broken sword.

"But you did accept it and kept moving forward, that's the most important thing." If she had let his death consume her, it would have been disappointing and heart-breaking.

Sunlight broke through the clouds, illuminating her face. With a cry, she prepared to attack.

A giant foot shattered the ground next to her and the Rogue Titan slammed his fist into the other Titan's face.

"I know Eren will get back Wall Maria, and kill every last Titan." Mikasa stood on Wall Rose, the wind gently rustling her and Eren's hair. "And then, he will finally see the ocean one day. But even then, I know I won't be able to stop his fate. And I… No, no one can stop it. That's okay." She started toward him. "I want to be by his side no matter where he goes. That's my only wish."

Eren turned his head at her approach.

"Hey, Eren…"

"That felt both too long and not long enough at the same time." Connie stretched, standing along with everyone else.

"I can't believe the 57th Expedition is tomorrow," Ymir said, thinking about their first upcoming expedition. "Feels like it was a lifetime ago."

"Everyone know the plan?" Erwin called out and they gathered around him. "Let's review really quickly. Since we know Reiner and Bertolt will feed Annie info on Eren's location, we'll control where the Female Titan will appear from and the general path she'll follow based on the formation. Our first attempt to capture her will fail, naturally. If she's able to find Squad Levi, just incapacitate her and flee," he said to Levi. "Shouldn't be hard to play it off as prioritizing our Shifter's safety than defeating an enemy. That way she'll make it out alive to try and capture Eren another day."

Eren would have liked to take on the Female Titan in the forest and defeat her. But he knew it was more important that the plan succeeded than him trying to prove himself.

Levi nodded. "I'll be sticking with my squad this time to ensure it goes our way."

"Mikasa will be joining you as well," Erwin said and she perked up at that.

"In the meantime," Hange started, "Squad Mike will go find Dina and bring that Titan back for 'scientific' reasons. I'll have Moblit draw up a sketch so they'll know who to look for. Or it'll probably be better to have some trusted squads keep an eye out for her but only to alert Squad Mike when the find her so Mike and his team can go capture it. We still have the equipment used on Sonny and Bean."

"I know we'll be out there for a couple of hours," Jean spoke up, "but will they be able to find her in that time?"

"Maybe it would be better to let Annie find Squad Levi," Armin suggested. "Shouldn't be hard for you guys to beat her this time with Corporal Levi and Mikasa around, and because she doesn't have the element of surprise anymore."

"Armin's right," Christa said, figuring out where he was going. "Shifting takes a toll. Remember how tired she was two days after the expedition? When we tried to capture her in Stohess. After her second transformation, if she gets beaten badly she'll be out of commission for the rest of expedition so we won't have to worry about her."

"The Survey Corps was only forced to keep retreating," Petra began, "because those two men went back for their friends' bodies. It attracted a group of Titans. If we keep an eye out and make sure no one brings a group down on us, we can stick around longer out there, giving us more time to find Dina. And even if we get attacked, this time our squad will be around to handle them," she said, looking at Eren, who nodded.

"Immediately after the expedition is when we go to my village, right?" Connie asked, feeling anxious to get out there as soon as possible.

"That's right," Erwin confirmed. "After returning, I'll go meet Zackly and convince him of the traitor among us. Eren will be summoned because he was 'unable' to transform to fight the Female Titan. So the chief was questioning his usefulness. Then we'll go with our original plan of trying to lure Annie underground, with the exception that we want it to fail this time. Eren will transform and fight her with the rest of Squad Levi assisting. We'll force Annie to flee to make sure the Walled Titans are revealed. We'll tell a trusted few about what we saw on the TV beforehand so when the Colossal-type Titans are revealed, it'll verify what we said was true."

"Next we'll fake Annie's escape, either during the battle or after we've captured her so we can make sure the Royal Government won't kill her and we lose our next Shifter. We'll pretend Annie killed the Titan we had captured when in reality, we'll feed her to Dina to make her human again."

"And while you're all doing that, are we keeping everything else we've seen the same?" Ymir asked. "With me and Connie and Christa at Utgard castle and after that."

"I'd wanted to originally capture both the Armored and Colossal Titans," Erwin said, "but now that Candy's offering more future episodes, let's keep what we saw today mostly the same."

"With the exception of Ymir sticking around, right?" Sasha turned to her. "You won't ditch us for Reiner and Bertolt?"

"Yes, don't worry. You won't be getting rid of me any time soon." Ymir paused. Although Eren and I will only be sticking around for about eight more years. She wondered when Erwin planned to share with the group what she'd told him and Hange about the Curse of Ymir. Probably sometime when we're watching the next set of future episodes. As it was, they were all preparing for the big expedition tomorrow and didn't need that distraction. It could wait.

"Since we'll be returning for the last time next time," Erwin went on, "we can completely change things to go fully in our favor. Because there will be no more future episodes after next time, we won't have to worry about preserving the future."

They nodded, both excited and worried at the prospect. On one hand, it nice knowing they could totally shake things up and not have to make some sacrifices so upcoming future knowledge would be relevant. But on the other hand, they would be seeing the future one final time and then be blind once more to what was coming.

"Everyone ready to head out, then?" Erwin asked, getting nods and "Yes, sir."

The group left the room, with Sasha waving and saying "We'll be back soon, TV!" before she closed the door.

Power to Strive III: Feb 21-24 (whenever my day off is during that time)

Happy Holidays!